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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Waiting to try

76 replies

Kttowers90 · 11/09/2014 10:33

Hi everyone I'm fairly new to this but I have a bit of a scenario I was hoping someone might be able to help!

I have been desperate to have a baby for coming up to a year now, discussed it with oh and he wanted to wait until we're more financially stable (own our own house and I've paid off my student overdraft etc.) I'm nearly 25 and he'll be 28 next month. I agree with him completely and know what he's suggesting makes sense broodiness is doing my head I'm but it's just something I've got to cope with.

So last night he went to his mates house to help him clear out some of their sons old toys and stuff. He then comes home with one of those mats with the roads on that kids drive toy cars on and says it's for junior when we have one... I could have strangled him!!! I wouldn't mind if we are tcc but we've decided to wait (knowing it could take around 2 years) and now I don't know what to think, is he just thinking about the future? Or is he trying to drop a not so subtle hint? Or is he just a massive moron with no tact?

He knows I've been struggling with wanting to have a baby and what he's done, although nothing major has upset me quite a bit!

Any advise would be greatly appreciated!!!

Kate x

OP posts:
DeeDee1981 · 18/04/2015 18:20

Jelly, we said we would talk more and make a decision round about now, we said that maybe 2 years ago. I had made it clear that I wanted a 3rd but also said we would make a final decision when ds2 started school (that's this September), when we look at cars I always say to bear in mind a 3rd child so I've made no secret about it.

I have spent the last 2 years thinking hard about this and I can not bear it if we didn't try.

Vap, I am 34 in July, I have told him that it may take a year for my cycles to get back to normal, (when ttc ds1 I did not have a period for 13 months after coming off the pill) and also that at 35 my fertility will start to decline.

I honestly think he is just selfish, he likes his ps4 and watching films so there will be less time for that. X

everygalaxy · 24/04/2015 08:09

Hi everyone great to find this thread. We have been married for 6months but decided to put off ttc for about 2 years - I will be early 30s then. It's a logical decision so we can save for a house deposit and make the most of being a couple for a bit.
I know with my head that we aren't ready yet emotionally, financially of physically me but the wait seems like forever! Plus everyone at work is pregnant!

DeeDee1981 · 24/04/2015 12:26

Hi Galaxy!

It can be very hard doing the practical thing when all you want is a bubba!!!!

Me and DH have decided that now is not the right time for another ( i am more then ready but he isn't), so we will wait till the end of the year and then see.

We -I- am keeping myself busy with lots that needs doing to the house, this afternoon we have a builder coming around to quote for a small extension!!!! So decorating to plan and of cause shopping to plan!!!!

xx

pretzelpieces · 25/04/2015 15:33

DP is luckily quite broody too but is not sure he wants to start TTC just yet. I'm worried he's getting cold feet/doesn't realise how long it might take. I'm 31 and want to start TTC for 1st time ASAP because who knows there might be problems. Going to talk to him again and hoping to try from next cycle. Mid may. Had a bit of a false start because thought we were going for it and then he has said let's wait a bit longer?!

DeeDee1981 · 25/04/2015 20:00

Hi pretz,

I do think for men it's quite a scary time, we knida have have the good bits - baby growing, the shopping, the love already for them - and they only see the money side of things, the stress, our emotions, the not knowing of what is going on, the not being able to control anything, the worry about us in labour and then the worry about how the hell do they look after (and not drop or hurt) a new bubba!!

And for me already having 2 boys dh already knows all the about all the above so for him there's more worry about things.

Talk to him and see what he says. X

pretzelpieces · 25/04/2015 22:47

Thanks deedee - I'll bear this in mind when I talk to him. I guess I need to understand where he's coming from and what his fears are and not rush straight into being frustrated with him about it. I want him to want it too!

OP I realised I utterly failed to respond to your question. I hope it means your partner is excited for kids in the future? Maybe he is trying to reassure you by showing that? Have you talked it over at all x

pretzelpieces · 26/04/2015 10:25

Update: we had the big talk. Turns out he was worried about a month ago that our sex life wasn't regular enough and that I'd just be in it for the babies but has been better since then anyway so he is feeling reassured that I find him attractive and is happy to go ahead. So I got really worked up over it and he actually was sort of on the same page as me anyway? Basically I'm a wally and plan is go, which is exciting and also terrifying. Sorry for being bit off topic x

DeeDee1981 · 26/04/2015 11:03

That's great news pretzel! Enjoy it Wink

pretzelpieces · 26/04/2015 11:21

Thanks deedee Grin

lucylou1234 · 27/04/2015 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeeDee1981 · 28/04/2015 07:31

Hi Lelly,

Only you can answer your questions. But just bear in mind your age and the fact it may take months or years to get pg (hopefully not), if you are 35 or over they say a woman's fertility starts to decrease so will take longer to get pg.

I get what your saying, a new job means things are that bit easier so it's do you follow your heart or your head???

Good luck. X

LetThereBeCupcakes · 28/04/2015 08:02

Hi everybody - may I join?

I am 33 and have a 2 YO DS. I really want to TTC number 2, but having to put off for a couple of reasons:

  1. I'm still on anti-depressants from PND when I had DS and really struggling to get off them. They aren't suitable for use in pregnancy so I either need to get off them or switch to a different pill.
  2. We paying off some debts so would like to make more headway into that before having DC2
  3. DH is freaked because I fell pregnant the first month of trying with DS and he's frightened it'll happen again!

It's so frustrating though! I just want a baby NOW.

For those of you who can't stop looking at baby stuff in shops - it doesn't get any better once you have a baby I'm afraid! Grin

lucylou1234 · 28/04/2015 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucylou1234 · 28/04/2015 11:14

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Tamara160 · 28/04/2015 19:40

Hi! Mind if I join in?

My husband and I are we waiting to try until end of July start of August. We don't have any children but can't wait for our first one!
I know July isn't far away but it's killing me having to wait! Having a baby is all I think about at the moment, I think i'm annoying the hell out of my OH haha

everygalaxy · 28/04/2015 21:14

Just want to wish everyone good luck. We are going to wait for a year then have another think summer 2016 and either try then or wait one more year. Two years is a long time so I'm going to hide this board until then - best of luck ladies x

DeeDee1981 · 30/04/2015 14:10

Hi all,

Its so nice to hear from people that are waiting, nice to know i'm not alone.

However i am fed up and am in need of some like minded friends to 'talk' to. In RL no one knows that i want another baby (other then DH), he would be more then happy if we stayed as a family of 4, i however would love another.

At the moment we reluctantly I have agreed to get another 3 months of the pill then we will talk again i'm guessing him say no/not ready and me say i am ready.

I am feeling so tried at the moment, nothing has changed and i'm sleeping fine but i just feel tired. i'll speak to the nurse when i see her tomorrow. I was even thinking that i was pg (had the tiredness when pg with DS1 but test was negative.

I am also fed up, fed up of waiting!!!!!!! i have been looking at breaks to London (for our belated honeymoon) but am fed up of looking as i don't know what dates we can go next year, we are waiting for our builder to get back to us with a quote for some work we want doing, but without knowing that we I can't look at decorating and furnishing etc.

I'm just tired and fed up!!!!!!!

So how is everyone else??? What things do you have planned? x

LetThereBeCupcakes · 05/05/2015 08:13

Thanks Lelly - I've been putting off going back to the GP as DH hasn't been keen on the idea of DC2 but I will make an appointment as soon as it looks like there's a chance! I get lots of exercise - walk to and from work and walk my dogs, too.

I'm taking Folic Acid now in the hopes that DH will agree to TTC, and he knows this and hasn't objected so fingers crossed!

DS has been just lovely recently, really sweet and funny which I think is swaying DH a bit more in the right direction! In the meantime I'm slowly working through my craft room, which will have to be emptied out completely if we do go ahead with DC2 as it's the only spare room. That way I can feel as though I'm doing something proactive towards another baby, but also do some nice relaxing sewing!

DeeDee sorry you're feeling so tired. Hope the nurse can help you.

DeeDee1981 · 07/05/2015 14:33

Hi Cupcakes,

I'm feeling better thanks, nurse didn't bat an eyelid when i told her i was alway tired at the moment. I i took it upon myself to get some multivitamins and they seem to be helping.

DH was snappy the other night so i asked him outright what was wrong, we had a little talk i talked he acted like a told off teenager he said he thought everything was ok with us - which leads me to think i have way too much going on in my head and overthing all sorts!!!

Why is it they these men are quite reluctant to give us what we want, when in fact it is us in the long term that end up with more work to do with more kids!!! Men - can't live with them and apparently for this we can't live with out them!!!!

Cupcake, have you been to the GP yet, i hope they were helpfull and supportive to you.

Lelly, have you made any headway with your descision to wait a while or to start trying?

x

lucylou1234 · 09/05/2015 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LetThereBeCupcakes · 11/05/2015 08:44

So... DH has announed he's ready to start TTCing DC2!

lucylou1234 · 11/05/2015 10:37

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DeeDee1981 · 11/05/2015 11:51

Cupcake that’s great!!!!!!!

Lelly, I hope the job hunt goes well for you.
x

cocacola1006 · 11/05/2015 19:24

Hi,
Joining in if that's ok- need to wait a year! But don't want to!
Reading this makes me feel less crazy- distraction advice?!

LetThereBeCupcakes · 12/05/2015 07:43

Hi cocacola - welcome! Do you mind me asking why you have to wait?

I've found decluttering the house helps keep me busy - especially my craft room which will have to be completely emptied to become DC2's bedroom at some point. At least that way I feel like I'm doing something. Although I've had the green light from DH now so as soon as I get my meds sorted with the GP we'll be trying.