Home on the amazing and determined TTC after mc-ers. We know all about the ups and downs, trails and tribulations,, how it feels to live in the cruel world of Facebook baby bombs. Solidarity, sisters!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

broody please dont cry x

I think that we just retreat into ourselves to cope and dealing with soneone elses pain is just to hard.

ive been talking to my counsellor about how I feel everyone is talking AT me ie if I ask dp if he would like a sausage or bacon sandwich all I want is a simple "sausage please" instead I get "sausage please because I like those pork and leek ones and bet they will be nice on a sandwich, and can I have brown sauce because I dont like ketchup in a sandwich" it makes me want to scream.

the counsellor says its because all my energy is going into healing and taking care of myself and that listening to the unnecessary words is just to exhausting; I think thats why its been so easy to let dp take care of me and push his grief out of my mind, its just too exhausting dealing with 2 lots of grief, but I feel so guilty about it this morning.

[Seasides]

Thank you so much everyone - sal I'm afraid they've been snapped up. I feel like I don't know how to say I hope all you long term threaders are off here asap without sounding patronising or something, but I really do hope so. and a lot of

[Monten]

smiling "I feel like everyone is talking AT me" that is so true! I feel like I could have written your post myself.

When I'm grieving I become very introverted and quiet ( usually am quite the opposite). I'm lucky that DP has been off work this week but these past couple of days he's been doing my head in! Just talking, talking and wanging on about this garden project he's working on. Yesterday I turned around at one point and shouted 'will you please just shut up!'
I feel like just telling everyone to shhhhhhh. Especially people who are being sympathetic and trying to make me feel better. What your counsellor said makes total sense to me.

broody I accused DP of same

just

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

Oh monten I feel the same, the lady in tesco was talking to me like they do and usually im happy to have a chat but I just wanted to calmly tell her to shut up, not scream or shout just calmly say "would you mind shutting up please, I dont want to hear anything you have to say". That sentence went round and round in my head until I left the shop

im feeling really weepy today, ive got lots to do so am trying to keep busy but the 2ww is really stressing me out

[Monten]

Oh smiling the 2ww, I'm not even there yet and already the thought of it is killing me.

I've put my finger on (one of the multitude) of emotions I am feeling - disappointment. Bitter, bitter disappointment.

I want a baby so badly, it's like a physical hurt. I've got to go and buy a pressie for my new nephew now, might go and visit later, haven't been brave enough yet. Sending you good vibes

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Hi ladies,
Sadly I will joining you all again. Had my second scan this morning and although the sac had grown it hadn't grown enough and it was empty. Hoping to be allowed an erpc without another scan. I know my dates and know I should be further along than it was measuring.
Feel completely empty. Can't believe I'm having to go through it all again. Already worrying about ever being able to carry a baby to term.
Life is fucking shit

[MrsGingerbread]

Oh English I am so sorry. xx

[Brummiegirl15]

Oh english.

That is truly shit. I am SO sorry. Big hugs xxxx

[Metalhead]

English -I don't know what to say, apart from I'm so so sorry to hear that. Make sure you take care of yourself, and I hope you get lots of support from your DH. x

[Justonemoretime]

So sorry to hear this, English. There are no words. Take care of yourself. x

[smilingthroughgrittedteeth]

English im so very sorry x

[wiltingfast]

English I am so sorry. SO sorry. I started reading this thread just as you got your bfp, can't believe you're having such a tough time :(

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Thank you ladies, I've just been told I have to wait yet another week for another scan. It's torture. It just want the erpc soon so it can be over physically. My body is showing no sign of dispelling it naturally.

[Metalhead]

Why are they making you wait another week? Do you think there's a tiny chance that things might still work out, or is it simply a case of following procedure? How far along do you think you should be now?

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to clutch at straws here... I know only too well that feeling of just wanting it to be over.

[GandTnow]

Englsh, so sorry for you. Another week of waiting is really tough

[sebsmummy1]

So sorry to hear this English. I can totally understand why waiting another week is the last thing you want to do.

You will get out the other side of this and you will carry a baby to term. Keep your chin up and thing of all the things in your life that are in your control and positive.

I found moving away from the TTC threads whilst my body was recovering was helpful for me mentally. Sometimes you feel like you are in a race or something whereas in 'real life' we are all just doing our day to day things, not trying to race ahead or lose a week etc. Just do what's right for you and get your support where you can. Sorry again. Xx

[tannyLoo]

English sorry that you have to go through this again. I know the waiting is hard but they have to follow procedures just in case. You might start to mc naturally in the meantime, which is emotionally hard, but physically better for you.

If you have a sympathetic GP, ask for some basic blood tests, just to get the ball rolling, and if this is your third (sorry, I can't remember your story) then ask for a referral to your local RMC clinic.

So sorry for your loss, it is really shit. Sorry if I seem so matter of fact about it, but I wish I'd got started on being assertive about my MCs earlier...

Be kind to yourself and use us to be your virtual sisterhood.

[EnglishGirlsReturned]

Thanks ladies, your words really do help.
As far as my dates (ov date) are concerned I should be 8+4 but the sac only measures at about 6 weeks. The nurse said that if the sac measures less that 25mm (mine is 18mm) they have to rescan, but I know it's not going to be a happy ending. I've had zero symptoms so blighted ovum has been at the back of my mind anyway.
I hope my body does start naturally and soon. Got a nice weekend away planned this weekend and its my 30th in 2 weeks (great timing!) happy birthday me! Just want things to at least have started before then!
This is my second mc, once I've started to actually lose it I'll speak to my dr and hope they can at least start some basic tests.

[tannyLoo]

I'm going to sign off to a bit. We're about to start TTC again after a few months off (I recommend it!) and I need to calm the fuck down! I get a tad obsessive...

I'll be back once the 2ww is over, and am really hoping there are some bfps and good news stories to come back to.

See you on the other side.

[Hope26]

English I am so sorry to hear this news, absolutely devastating. having to go through the physical and mental trauma is a nightmare but don't give up hope and keep trying when you are ready.

we all feel so empty and this emptiness is leading to sadness but know that things will get better in the end and no pain lasts forever.

I hope to read some good stories as well.

[Brummiegirl15]

Thinking of you English and everybody else going through this.

I'm feeling a bit better mentally after my very low day this week, work has improved slightly. Which is good.

My thoughts are turning to the next week or so. Do I POAS at any point or just wait to see what happens?

My miscarriage happened 23rd May and to be fair I didn't bleed for long and had a negative pregnancy test the following Friday. So DP and I have - as I've said - just carried on as normal.

But I guess a miscarriage date isn't same at LMP so is POAS just a waste of time / money / sanity?

This is probably why you should wait one cycle!!!!!!

[Hope26]

Brummie I have waited one cycle and that was the longest wait ever but it has saved me the sanity of all the other headache and speculation.

I will ttc this week.. I usually ovulate around cd15-17 dunno if it changes after mc. Does it vary?

English honestly I don't know what to say, you are in my thoughts and prayers xxx

[Treaclepie19]

English I am so very sorry. It sounds so similar to me but because there was a yolk sac they left me 2 weeks. Obviously before that I miscarried.

I hope you have lots of support xxx

[Triplespin]

Oh English - I am so sorry to hear your news. I do hope the wait is shorter than 2 weeks. I was told to wait 2 weeks but turned up at EPU a week later. Is your EPU a walk-in one?

Sorry you are having to go through this again. I am sure you will carry your baby to term - some of us just have a harder journey.

[blankfornames]

English, so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you.

Hope, I didn't ov the first month after my mc, but was back to being CD15/16 the following month.