Home on the amazing and determined TTC after mc-ers. We know all about the ups and downs, trails and tribulations,, how it feels to live in the cruel world of Facebook baby bombs. Solidarity, sisters!

[Justonemoretime]

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

I poas, it was negative, I feel very sad :(

boozle how Many dpo are you?

Ah booze don't give up hope it will happen!! I know it must be heartbreaking.. Your patience is just being tested. Stay steadfast and it will happen soon. I suggest you avoid googling anything because that can drive you insane!

Ah big hugs for you

Boozle - chin up darling. It will happen for you, even if this month isn't your month. The earliest I would ever get a positive is 10dpo btw, if you're testing before that then it could be a false negative.

Well I am 6dpo. Due on in six days, nothing really going on, will wait for my period I think unless I get some screaming symptom that requires a stick!! Not convinced I even ovulated to be honest.

boozle I was thinking about you on the tube to work, where I might add there were ZERO preggas spots
Seeing a negative after what we have been through is heartbreaking and I have been trying to think of one way to make it easier. I struggled but I did think it's not just the negative, it's another reminder of loss and grief. I am going to try and think of ttc as ttc for number 1 and how exciting it felt to be trying for the first time, without fear, anxiety etc.
I know it's not ttc no 1 and we have all suffered. But it is a new pregnancy we are all aiming for. Just worth trying to be positive. Allow the tears and heartache of the bfn but try not to let let it define the future xx

13dpo so it'd probably be showing now if it was going to :(. Next month Gadget!

Sorry to hear that Boozle but next month indeed!

Lou I really like your thinking and have actually been feeling quite positive and as though it's the first time these last few weeks. When I got my BFP we'd been trying for just two months so I really took it for granted and hadn't perhaps realised how lucky I was. Although separate to be pg again afterwards I was so traumatised by the mc that in all honesty, I wasn't ready. Now I feel as though it will be just good news when it happens, and I've ok reason to fear mc than anyone else.

Hi Ladies,

I have a question about conception vitamins, as in are they worth it? Just had my 2nd mc in 2 months both at 5 weeks. We have decided to wait a full cycle this time before trying again. I had been taking folic acid at least 3 months before we caught the first time but I'm wondering if I should of been taking a full range of vitamins. I think the first one was a bit my fault as we had been painting and moving furniture before I got a bfp but I have no idea what happened the second time other than perhaps my body wasn't really ready to try again so soon. I have a horrible feeling that perhaps I'm one of those people that can only carry babies of a particular sex. But anyway, my gp has been a bit useless on the old information front about what I can do to help us carry to term. I mentioned my concerns about being underweight when I found out I was pregnant this last time before I mc'd and he said some people just are the size they are. I have been under the dietitician before but I really just maintain the same weight no matter what I eat.

Has anyone had any positive results from using conception/pregnancy vitamins or have they just stuck to folic acid? (Although I'm underweight I do have a pretty balanced diet I just don't eat massive portions and have an amazingly fast metabolism.)

Also I'm not into all this taking your temp business and working out when your ovulating. Getting pregnant isn't a problem its just getting the bugger to stick. We find sex every other day for the whole month really works for us and that's what were going to stick to. Even if DH complains sometimes that he can't be arsed, I just remind him that he's desperate for another baby too and when I'm pregnant and huge again I won't want to have sex with him so he needs to get all he can now. (We have a beautiful 3 year old who wants a little sister to play with so I know I have been able to carry to term.)

Sorry for the long post but thought you ladies might have more insight on the vitamin front.

lauren I used pregnacare conceive and during pregnancy before my erpc. My doc and consultant said there is nothing wrong with these but stressed folic acid is the most important. I am on high dude of FA but this is because my baby had a nureal tube defect.

I use santagen mother to be vitamins and extra folic acid, its more because I want to feel like ive done everything right than because I think it will help.

boozle big hugs from me, this ttc again is a real roller coaster of emotions, I was devastated when af came and it really upset me but now its time to try again I feel really positive. My counsellor always tells me to just go with the emotion and not fight it, so let yourself be sad for now x

todays count.....

4 newborns
3 pregnant women
2 insensitive comments about trying again
1 person avoided me

Just to clarify I take the folic acid because its important, the vitamins are to make me feel better.

Morning ladies

Well lots of people talking this morning about my colleague giving birth yesterday. The photobomb is doing the rounds on the email. I admit to get a lump in my throat. Plus my other colleague discussing his wife's 20 week scan... Just felt jealousy at that one.

On another note, I'm on cd7 and started my Clearblue dual opk's today. So I'm on low fertility but started the opk journey. Just hopefully going to show me ovulating!!!

smiling you are getting them from all angles!!!!
Fear not, as soon as I go out for lunch there will be a stampede of glamorous preggas heading towards me!!!
I am SICK of people telling me, at least you can get pregnant and it happened quick for you. If I carried fish in my bag, they would get a quick slap around the chops!!!
brummie the preggas lady that sits next to me makes me feel jealousy like I haven't felt since I was 10 years old and some one had a bigger my little pony than me!

Thanks everyone, you're right Lou, it just seems so bastard unfair - I should be 6 months pregnant now, not preying that sticks will show little crosses. I want my baby back and I've tried SO hard this month - we dtd everyday. It's just shit! And everyone keeps asking me "any joy?" And I want to lamp them, which is not how a hippy who only wears fairtrade clothes should think! My tummy looks all post-pregnancy with flabby bits of skin and stretch marks and nothing to fill it. Sorry I'm being horribly self-indulgent, will go and pick up horse poo - it always makes me feel better being round horses.

Lauren, I've been taking Pregnacare Vitamins. Don't know if they make a difference but they certainly won't do any harm. Don't even think about moving heavy things - it won't have made any long term difference that early on. Please don't ever blame yourself for the horrible thing that has happened. One thing I've put lots of thought into is that if you're meant to meet your baby you will, regardless of what you do during your pregnancy, the beautiful, special babies we didn't get to meet weren't meant for this world. The people who wonder what they did wrong, are probably the ones who did everything right because they are the thoughtful, reflective individuals who put their babies first. This forum is full of those wonderful people, non of whom should be here but all of whom loved their babies and put them before anything.

Hi ladies,
I've been away for the weekend. DH surprised me with a weekend back in Amsterdam for my 30th (which is today....Shhhhh!) and a load of my friends had travelled out to party with us. Was just what I needed!
I now feel ready to face my ERPC tomorrow. Anyone else that has had one.... what was your experience? Any advice? I just want to get back to ttc now.

Hope you're all doing ok. Any newbies, I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong, it does get easier with time. Sending anyone who needs it a MASSIVE hug

english happy birthday!!
I had my erpc immediately after I passed my baby so was exhausted off that. Erpc is nothing at all, I would take sanitary towels as they put this gigantic pad on post op - lovely! Other than that, it's so quick and before you know it your out of there. Just rest up afterwards : )

Happy birthday english
I found the erpc the easiest part of my mmc iyswim, I stocked up on sanitary towels and pain killers but didnt need them. I felt fine after but my advice is to get lots of rest even if you dont feel like resting, everything hit me about a week later and I felt exhausted.

Boozle youve made me cry, people keep saying to me "youve lost weight" I want to scream, no I havent lost bloody weight ive lost my baby bump and my breasts are back to their normal size, I was 3.5 months pregnant my body had changed

also I have a field you can poo pick whenever you want and a couple of horses that need groomed

lauren I didnt read the part about you blaming yourself, please dont, nothing you or I or any of the other lovely ladies on here did, harmed our babies. I bet everyone of us took our vitamins, avoided foods, rested,didnt drink or smoke and did everything we could to look after ourselves and our babies, it just wasnt meant to be.

Lou its the delights of being a nanny, there are pregnant women, babies and mums who think they know everything, everywhere I turn, its getting easier to tune them out but my heart breaks a bit more everytime I look at a pregnant women and I want to stamp my feetand ask why me when a squidgy newborn is parked next to me, they always seem to stand next to me no matter where I sstand on the playground!

Honestly English compared to what some of the ladies on here went through with a natural mc, an ERPC is really not so bad, I don't want to play down the emotional awfulness of it all but on a physical level a couple of hours afterwards it could all have been a dreAm. No blood no pain, just a fantastic general anaesthetic hangover! Thinking of you though, it's normal to find it scary x

Also sorry ladies but 10dpo and a symptom spotting crazy over here. Despite all my promises. Gah.

Happy Birthday English xxxxxxx

Hi all, thank you for the good wishes, I'm glad it's given people hope. We're into the week where o lose them so am extra anxious this week. No symptoms are not exactly helping my mood either!

I'm so sorry you all seem to have a commute with high pg/baby counts I have started leaving the room/nursery ASAP I see a baby or bump. My bf is brilliant, other friends less so.

Boozle it's sodding unfair, I know my stomach has filled out already but then I guess it knows the drill now...

Lou re vitamins -I'm taking folic acid and also am on a prescription course of vit D as my levels were rock bottom. I'm apparently low of B12 as well but am waiting for a full blood count to confirm this too.

Oneday - i hope you're recovering and resting up.

English - I've had 2 erpcs and I would probably choose another one in that position again (I'm an hour from hospital and they felt I was too far away in an emergency for medical). Everyone was completely lovely and kind, the anaesthetists especially. They certainly understood how upsetting it was. I was rougher after my 2nd one, but I think that was because I was last on the list and they didn't give me morphine so they wouldn't let me go home. But this was very rare.

I took knitting for the morning wait, and an audio book for the groggy time afterwards. Hope this helps?

Happy birthday english I'm sorry your having the procedure so close to your birthday. Hopefully things will be very different next year with no booze for a very exciting reason!

lou I'm glad you asked the question re vitamins as I was wondering this too. Especially after having the procedure I thought it may be a good idea to keep taking them for the iron with the blood loss?

Can sympathise with everyone re bump watch. DH and I went I Ikea on Sat to take our minds off things and spend too much money and oh.my.god, it was pregnant lady and newborn central. Really really difficult.

english re the ERPC, with mine being yesterday I can tell you that it really wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated, physically or emotionally. The worst but for me was that they gave me some tablets to take first thing (misoprostol) and within 10 mins they gave me bad cramps and bleeding which I was a bit taken aback by as having had a MMC, I'd not had any of that at all. Only lasted an hour thankfully. Cannula inserted in the back of the hand for the anaesthesia was probably the most sore part. Woke up after an hour in recovery and was a bit teary but relieved. On waking up I did have period like cramps and had a huge pad between my legs to catch any blood but there wasn't too much. Had one lot of paracetamol (liquid) and one dose of iburoprofen and sitting here now I've not had to take any more pain relief or had any more cramps. Back on the ward DH was waiting and once I'd had a cuppa, sandwich and a wee I was free to go home. So 45 mins after coming back up to the ward I was walking out to the car. Definitely recommend taking plenty of trashy mags, sanitary towels and baby wipes to freshen up afterwards.

Sorry if heat was TMI and rambled on! I know I like to know everything to prepare myself so hopefully that helped.

Keeping crying at silly things today like the dog having a dry nose and totally overreacting that he has some deadly auto immune disease but getting there and physically, I feel fine with only a small amount of bleeding much less than a normal period.

Ahhhh, sorry for the MAMMOTH and me me me post! I find writing about it so cathartic as I'm just managing a smile and nod when DH pops his head round to see how I am. Reading this thead really helps, thanks ladies.

I feel like ive made huge progress since finding this thread, its comforting to know that if im having a bad day or a wobble or even if im happy you will all understand in a way that nobody else can, including dp.

oneday im glad your doing ok, I cried over everything for at least 4 weeks after my erpc and even now 11 weeks on I still feel close to tears most days, im not sure about it getting easier as it doesnt feel any easier to me BUT It does get easier to control the emotions instead of them controlling you and you definitely get better at hiding the grief and looking normal.

And keeping everything crossed for you daisy