Just what I needed to read!! I'm not alone! thank you thank you thank you for making me feel more normal! ! can I join in the pity party? 
MMC march, ttc april & may, AF due tomorrow but serious pregnancy symptoms all this week and no AF symptoms.
i've been peeing on sticks at least twice a day for five days now - Internet cheapies 10miu/ml. it doesn't matter how I squint, what colour background I hold it against, daylight, dim light, light bulbs - the shocking whiteness of where my BFP line should be is disturbing. its so white its nearly blue! and the pink test/control line - its purple, shocking purple-black!!
DH is upset, 3 friends wives have announced their pregnancies this week, and then another today. its also his birthday today - I fantasised about putting the BFP test in his card this morning 
the pressure to upduff me is putting a strain on his sex drive so I feel bad about that, on top of not being a successful baby-carrier on our first attempt.
I can't think about anything else, no one in real life understands.
presuming we didn't hit the jack pot this month - what's the plan for next month? try to relax and bin the opks and thermometer, stop obsessing about CM? I wash my hands three time on every visit to the loo - wash, pee, wash, CM check, wash.
try to relax? that's like saying "try not to think about chocolate".
do I make a doctors appointment and tell her I think I'm broken? I don't know if I'm even ovulating - temp & opk don't give me a positive - I just feel what I've always thought was ovulation pain - but I have no evidence to back it up.
I feel the need to be doing something all the time - planning, taking control of something, because when we lost our baby I lost hope and dreams and happiness and my wee buddy who came everywhere with me and for a short time I felt completely complete, I was nurturing a little life that my husband and I made - he's the love of my life, and he was so happy and proud. he kissed my tummy at night, and patted it and talked to it through the day.
last night I dreamt about our baby. We imagined it was a girl. in my dream we had a boy - he was little, but really clever - about 9mths old, riding a tricycle - and I was looking at him, DH beside me, saying "look at him go! he's so clever, so totey, but look at him cycling himself!"
This is poop 
sorry about the length of this!! its magnificent to vent!!
fingers crossed - everyone xx