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Read this is you're fed up ttc and could do with a laugh (at my expense!)

29 replies

Moomin · 23/03/2004 20:00

How shameful!!
Finally got to see our consultant this morning. He fitted us in specially early because dh sometimes works with him and they know each other well-ish.
I didn't realise he'd want to examine me today but he did and so I popped next door, before popping my clothes off and popping onto the couch. Plan was to do a quick smear 1st - I've been putting off having one done at my surgery because they always want you in the middle of your cycle and not to have sex (JUST the time you should be doing it when ttc!). Consultant said it didn't matter when I'd had sex. Was then going to have a vaginal ultrasound.
Smear was under way, nurse and consultant were making small talk, when there was a long pause and I could tell they were struggling with something. I looked over at them just as they were sorting out the swab onto the slide..... and I can see it's DRIPPING with, how can I put this?... well let's just say, when we told the consultant we'd had sex recently, I don't think he realised it was as recent as 2 hours previous.... It was everywhere!!!
I know I shouldn't worry about it but even so....

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 23/03/2004 20:01

OH GOD you poor thing!!


charlieplus3 · 23/03/2004 20:02

Titter Titter, how funny Sorry


emmatmg · 23/03/2004 20:07

OH NO.....


bluestar · 23/03/2004 21:06

hee hee


collision · 23/03/2004 21:07

Ha Ha!!!!! that is one of the funniest most embarrassing things I have ever read!!!!!


popsycal · 23/03/2004 21:09

made me smile!


twiglett · 23/03/2004 21:15

message withdrawn


bunny2 · 23/03/2004 21:46

Moomin, how embarrassing!


Hulababy · 23/03/2004 21:49



mummytojames · 23/03/2004 21:53

moomin you should have looked at the octor and saidwell at least you can see we have got a s** life and tried to laugh it of as a joke


smellymelly · 24/03/2004 09:01



hmb · 24/03/2004 09:17

I had quite an experience when I had a hysterosalpingiogram. There were about 12 people in the room, and I had enough scafolding in my bits to support the channel tunnel. The consultant was fiddling about and couldn't get the thing to work (v uncomfortable). the phone rang and one of the nurses answered it. 'Its X on the phone for you' she said to the doc. He said he couldn't come to the phone. She passed the message on and then came back 'X says its very important that you talk to her'. I was so fed up I said, 'Tell her he has got his hand up another womans bits and he can't answer the phone NOW!'

The room erupted into laughter!


fio2 · 24/03/2004 09:22

LOL moomin and hmb


SoupDragon · 24/03/2004 09:33



Moomin · 24/03/2004 09:36

hmb - good for you!
Is what you had the thing where they send dye round your tubes under x-ray? I think that's what I've got to have next if I don't get pg in the next 2 months. I might ask you some questions about it if that's ok (and it's the right procedure!)
sorry to hijack my own thread

OP posts:

hmb · 24/03/2004 09:39

Yes. I had had a mc, and the lining of my uterus had stuck together. I was ovulating, but could not bleed as the cervical os was closed (v painful). The reason the test was so uncomfortable was that they create a small vaccum to get the dye into the uterus, and the os was closed so that was impossible.

The good news is that post surgery to correct the problem and a year of hormone treatment i concieved dd is 3 months and later also had ds.


hmb · 24/03/2004 09:40

Ask away, moomin, it was just one of those circumstances where you had to laugh or you would have sobbed!


Moomin · 24/03/2004 09:42

Thanks hmb. Have to go now but will post some questions tonight, may be under a different thread under conception.

OP posts:

BigBird · 24/03/2004 12:51

Moomin - very funny.

I'm totaly at the same stage as you!
Went for consultant visit last Fri and had the same ultrasound ! Luckily we hadn't bd'd for a few days !!!

And i'm booked for a laporoscopy for July...Lap and Dye...hopefully neither of us will get there and have to go through it. I've been doing some research on it though so ask away....


hana · 24/03/2004 13:07

oh moomin! a good giggle you've just given me!


BeckiF · 24/03/2004 16:48

I had a ping-pong-agram (!!) too ... the thought of a metal tube through the cerix was terrifying, but it was uncomfortable at the most. The bit that surprised me was when the dye was put in, because that was just like a period type cramp and quite took me by surprise! For anyone that's got to have one, all I can say is don't worry, try and relax and it's not really as bad as you think it is!


harman · 24/03/2004 16:57

Message withdrawn


hmb · 24/03/2004 16:58

They didn't put a metal thing through my cervix (which was blocked anyway). Instead they put a sort of cap thing over the cervix, and tried to create a small vacuum which would 'suck' the dye into the uterus. It wouldn't have been bad , except the os was closed, so they couldn't get any dye in, and that was a bit unpleasent. Left me feeling a bit wobbly. And no dignity at all


Moomin · 24/03/2004 22:50

God it's making me feel weak just reading all this. I'm such a wuss. Anyway after discussing it with dh today who knows what a big girls blouse I am, we've changed the procedure to the Lap and Dye, under general anaes. I know this wouldn't be everyone's choice, but I really am funny about having my innards fiddled with and I have a very low pain threshold. Dh is a scrub nurse and has reassured me that I'll be very well looked after if I have the op rather than the "procedure" wide awake. How did anyone get on with the lap-thingy?

BigBird, yes, fingers crossed. We've been told to expect a date 2 months from now, so you've got a few more months than me to get up the duff!

OP posts:

carla · 24/03/2004 22:56

Well done to you, Moomin! Shame's me to think 9 years down the line I can't bear a cervical smear test yet!

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