Eggcellent egg buddies - a thread for all those IVFing in January, February and March - Volume 2

[resipsa]

Hi all. As promised, a sparkling new thread that is going to see a lot of action in the next few weeks, I hope!

Morning, just de-lurking to say congrats to cwtch!

I am surprised how many people just don't talk about their struggles, maybe once the baby is here you don't care how they got here.

If this sticks then I will def talk about when I tell people, it might just bring hope to others struggling, does that make sense?

Congratulations cwtch!!! Must be so exciting to see two lines at last :-D

I have no idea what we'll do about sharing stuff on FB should we be lucky enough to have good news to share. I've been so hyper sensitive to announcements and scan photos I feel I've lost all perspective! DH and I have talked about whether we'll tell people about the IVF if it's successful, we definitely will with good friends and family. But I can't imagine sharing that kind of thing on FB. I guess by the time we want to talk about it on FB it'll probably be 20wks+ and maybe the ivf stuff will be receding from the front of our minds. Can but hope, anyway.

Congratulations cwtch! I'm simultaneous happy for you and sad that I'm the only bfn from the people that cycled at the same time as me.
It just seems an additional sign that this isn't going to ever happen for me. In fact I'm so certain that I have decided not to cycle again unless it is with donor embryos.

I have no idea how this works though - it looks like it is cheaper. Can this be true?! I'm going to phone the clinic tomorrow to discuss it, dh thinks we should have one last try first but I already know it won't work. I was reading that mn thread about people having feelings about things that became true. Lots of women were posting and saying they knew how many children they would have or that they were pregnant immediately or that they knew the pregnancy wouldn't be successful. I guess it's sort of like that for me, I'm so definite it's like it's already happened.
But donor embryos might be a way forwards. I know the baby wouldn't genetically be mine but I would have carried it. I don't think adoption is for us but this could be.

Is anybody starting a FET soon? I have 9 cyclogest pessaries and 15 Everol patches. PM me if you want them or I'll chuck them.

:)

Congrats cwtch.

One, you don't know me but I was an egg buddy last year and I've been lurking. I'm so sorry to read about your failed cycle. I remember how I felt when my first cycle failed, I was utterly, utterly devastated and had the strong feeling that it would never work for me. But I read a lot of stories online and realised a lot of women in that situation felt exactly the same. Maybe it's self preservation or maybe we've just had so many knocks that we can't believe it could happen. It's awful.

It ended up working for me and I'm now 15 weeks pregnant. I sincerely hope it (however you decide 'it' happens) works for you. I know it happened for me when I completely gave up hope and was going through the motions of my frozen cycle whilst preparing for a fresh cycle.

I just wanted to let you know that I understand.

The hfea basically says you just get to try and match ethnicity, build, eye colour but that's about it.

I am certain we won't have a genetic child. Dh was talking about just using a sperm donor with my eggs as our main issue is mfi. He has a high count, average motility but very low normal forms. They said that although most of our eggs fertilised development slowed down at day 3 which is when the sperm kicks in. We used icsi but they said it was hard to find any sperm without weird heads and all the DNA is in the head so you're better to have tail deformities than head ones.
However I don't think I will carry my own child. I can't explain it, it's almost like a premonition. I think it's donor embryos or no baby.

Thanks twink, I'm glad it worked out for you x x

The thing is I've had this feeling since we started ttc, before we even knew there was a problem. I made dh go to the gp and lie and say we had been trying 12 months when actually it had been 2. I was so certain there would be a problem and sadly I was right.
It's not just that I could never see ivf working, I could never see any future babies of my own at all and it's such a feeling of absolute certainty I can't ignore it. I've had these feelings before about things (sadly not the lottery numbers though) and I have been right.

Cwtch! That's brilliant news. My embie was a day 3 slowie too.

Turq my parents tried for 8 years after me, and had 3 miscarriages (including one set of twins) in that time. No explanation was found. The last mc made my mum very ill (infection and very high fever) so they were recommended to give up. They didn't want a big age gap anyway, as there is 10 years between my mum and her brother, and they never got on at all, so that influenced her thinking.

one I'm sorry you're feeling low. Maybe it is worth having an initial chat with the other clinic before you make any decisions? For the sake of an hour and a couple of hundred quid, it seems worthwhile.

Sending you a big hug, one.

Patches and bum bullets gave been taken now.

One, you're not the only one

Hi One, I'm new to this thread but I saw you posting over on the infertility board and know of your recent failed IVF. I started an IVF thread and like you, I was the only one to get a BFN of all us women that cycled at the same time, which really makes you feel like it is never going to happen for you. That was my third failed IVF (plus one cancelled cycle)

Maybe it is just me living in denial, but I just can't give up. Can I ask where you heard that the sperm kicks in at day 3 of embryos life? I have never heard that and wonder if this is true? From my research, once the sperm fertilizes the egg, then the egg provides the energy from it's mitochondria to continue developing. I have been taking supplements since my first failed IVF and have seen improvement in quality over the three cycles which gives me hope to continue on.

Am happy to share more info but will let you decide what you want to do and talk to me more if you want rather than posting a novel here. Don't want to sound like I am pushing you and giving you false hope if this isn't what you want. I just know the pain all too well and want to see and end to it for both of us!

One, I may not have got a BFN but I didn't get a BFP from this cycle either

Congratulations cwtch! The first ever experience of two lines must be amazing. Enjoy every second of it. x

Hi Shellster - welcome and good luck.

One - I am really sorry this didn't work out for you, but again, I would say 'don't lose hope'. I felt like you last year when I just kept losing my pregnancies and my fertility through the ectopics. When the doctors told me I was first 'sub fertile', then 'infertile', it broke my heart. Lots of people told me 'I should be grateful' for my DS and hinted I should give up. Remember that IVF rarely works first time and that you were on a much lower dose of drugs than some of us.
Donor eggs are definitely a good option and it's quite cheap (about 5k a cycle) if you go abroad. Why don't you wait and see what is said in your review? I would think that the doctors suggest another cycle with a higher Stims dose. But you must give yourself some time to get mentally strong first!

Twinks - wow 15 weeks! Hello to everybody else.

I feel a bit grumpy today. I wish my DP would step up a bit and help me out more with DS. I've been up feeling rotten since 5.45am watching C Beebies when I feel absolutely exhausted. I am hopefully 6 weeks today and feel a bit apprehensive. Lost my last two pregnancies at 6.5 weeks. I feel like too many people know about my BFP tis time in RL and that it's tempting fate. 2 weeks and 1 day to go until the heartbeat scan...

Thanks so much for the welcome Badhariday. Feeling very stressed today because I am meant to start IVF next cycle but after suddenly not ovulating last cycle, seems the same thing has happened this cycle. Can I go ahead with IVF anyway? I worry that my body hasn't gone through the normal process of ovulating and then recruiting antral follicles for the next cycle. Imagine you are feeling very stressed too at the moment if this is the week where things went wrong the last two times. Two weeks and one day must feel forever away.

wish thinking of you today. Hope your cycle can continue.
bad the worry never ends does it? This is a different pregancy though & there can't be any issues with tubes. What have you got on to distract you over the next couple of weeks'?
Welcome shellster

Thanks Shellster and Brooker. Am looking after my DS all week this week because it's half term so will be fairly busy. You are right in that the worry never stops! I feel so lucky to be in this position right now, but having lost my last 3 pregnancies, it's constantly on my mind. You are so right though Brooker that I'm now ver

Thanks Shellster and Brooker. Am looking after my DS all week this week because it's half term so will be fairly busy. You are right in that the worry never stops! I feel so lucky to be in this position right now, but having lost my last 3 pregnancies, it's constantly on my mind. You are so right though Brooker that I'm now very grateful not to have my dodgy tubes complicating things.

Sorry that I can't answer your questions Shellster- re. whether IVF can go ahead without ovulation. Am sure somebody will be along soon who can help you out though.

Am so tired I could crawl back into bed right now!

Cwtch congratulations on those two pink lines! I really hope you are enjoying these first days of early pregnancy!

Well one it looks like you are not the only one with a BFN . I did a test this morning and there was not even a hint of a second line and I am 11dp5dt so I think it is pretty conclusive. I'm still going to take the hormones until Wednesday when I'll do another test just to be certain I think its called wishful thinking but I'm not going for my proluton jab tomorrow. Am obviously very disappointed but I am trying to concentrate on all the positives at the moment such as DS being full of beans again and will then start gearing up for the fresh cycle. I should start stabbing with my next AF so at least I don't have long to wait. Just wish that my time was now ... just keep saying to myself that this is just one more hurdle to overcomee before I am finally able to meet my baby. If that makes sense.

MaryP, I'm so sorry. Hugs xx

One, hope you're ok?

Hi to everyone else.

Does anyone want some unopened zita west vitamins for half price? I bought a whole load and they'll just go to waste otherwise.

MP sending you big hugs, I'm so sorry for today's BFN but I think you are definitely right to test again on Wed. I also just wanted to say that I think your positive outlook is wonderful.

one I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. This whole process has such a hard hitting emotional impact. It can be utterly soul destroying. Have you thought about taking up your clinics free counselling session? In truth I wish I had before we started. I would absolutely second what some of the other ladies are saying about visiting other clinics. It seems that in London each clinic has specialities of dealing with different issues/ problems. I wish you all the luck and love in the world.

Hello shell sending a big welcome!

Bad sending hugs, I hope you aren't rushed off your feet this week. The worry definitely doesn't stop. I feel you need a treat. Why do DP's never organise these spontaneously?! Hmm.

Wish I hope your appointment goes well.

Stars your friend sounds awsome!

Um blackberry bakewell sounds amazing fab, brooker do you have a link to the recipe? My mouth is watering!

Twinkle I love this lentil recipe it's really quick and easy and is delish: www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1364/spicy-root-and-lentil-casserole

Thanks you all so much for all your lovely congratulations. It still doesn't feel very real. It's a bit odd because its such early days I feel like I can't let myself get too excited (although I am so happy and thankful to have got this far). I keep finding myself 'talking' (dont worry not out loud!) the little embie into sticking around (weirdo!). bugs you are so right I spent Saturday in a daze and NOTHING at all got done apart from some major googling. I've realised that I've done some extensive reading/ research on ttc and infertility but have absolutely no idea about pregnancy or what to expect - oops .

MaryP, so sorry that you got a BFN. It is good that you don't have too long to wait to start again, I hope you can fill the days until then with lots of fun stuff with DS.

cwtch - I used to read the pregnancy boards on here lots when we started TTC but had to stop after a while cos it sent my brain into overdrive! Good luck and try not to over-google!

one - sorry you are having a tough time. I do think everyone has their moments of 'it's never going to work' but feeling that way continually must be so draining. How is DH doing, still being a tit?

We had a nice weekend with family, cousins and a whole gaggle of their kids aged 3-9, it was great, especially as no babies or pregnant women :-) My favourite bit was when the (just) 3 yr old asked me very seriously, about my brother's dog: "When will he have kittens?".

Then this morning I had my first scan since starting stimms. Everything looked good which was a relief after my episodes of spotting last week. Got a 15 follicles at good sizes (most on the R side, oddly), and my lining is looking good. Just hope there are decent eggs in the follies... They were even discussing reducing my menopur dose from 300 which I'm kind of amazed at since I have low AMH; they did a blood test and will call me this afternoon to let me know what dose to take tonight. Currently the nurse says I still look on course for EC next monday as per my original treatment plan (they do love a good schedule at my clinic). I'm putting it all down to the Frijj-with-extra-protein-powder as a good excuse to drink more of it cos it is bloody delicious.

MP so sorry to hear of you BFN. You seem really positive though. Is there not a still a hope though if you're only 11dpt? Sorry if I've misunderstood.

Moggle what is this Frijj with protein powder you speak of?? How much do I add? H has loads of protein shit kicking round I could use when I get to stimming.