waves I should really start with nipple-tastic twirling congratulations, I believe.
sneaks in
Today was neither fun nor fair. It was my first appointment with the hospital after referral from the GP. The unprepared consultant I saw galloped from a second high FSH reading in three months to: 'IVF is your best chance of success and you should do it immediately as your ovarian reserve is rather obviously failing. Here, let me draw you a graph.'
Man-splaining baby-faced idiot aside, I can promise that insta-diffment is unlikely. The Dude is on another continent for another eight weeks of research, and I have to face that something other than schedules, stress levels, and statistics may be keeping us from becoming parents after more than 18 months.
Perhaps BESH to the core: Not only 35, but also selfish enough to have moved from a good professional career to flirting with academics. Perhaps for you to judge:
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Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
Yes, though I almost went blind one evening drinking lethal quantities of G&T at Peter Luger. The first, and only, time I have sent a drink back for being too strong.
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Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
Unbeknownst, I went for the cradle.
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Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
C, with great lack of success. Open to suggestions.
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Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
Not one for baby dust or sprinkles, but I similarly draw the line at punching. Personally I avoid POAS. It's too sad. Never ever had a second line - other than on those ovulation thingies.
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Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.
All of the above.
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what colour are your walls?
Some tired off-white, some pistachio ice cream as per landlord.
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Number of pets?
None, sadly, due to likely future moves.
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Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
Tonight, I shall settle for any handsome doctor who tells me it will all work out while I sip whisky, slouched elegantly in a leather chair.
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Lesbian crush?
Other than the BESH?
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What are your views on camping?
In principle, or in practice?
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How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
I can safely say that i) is not going to happen. iv) Cracked after year one. After reading Mumsnet boards I made several bulk purchases of cheap ovulation sticks from Amazon, but am inconsistent in usage. Mainly because I had this vision that it would just sort of work. For all other testing I: Poundland or own-brand.
Finally, tell us how you found the BESH and why you'd like to join us pliz.
I've been lurking and it's sad and lonely to do this alone.
- Signed, not always this bitter. But really: today was rotten. Hello fears, nice to see you were right on target!
goes off to curse BUT with nipple tassles and much joy about recent news on the thread
sneaks off