Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Lol lol1ady - it's supposed to be good for your throat too but it tenderises meat too I was told...

Well Brown discharge this eve (sorry for the tmi) so ertd may well be on its way...

It's kind of okay Lil. It's nice to not be counting days and shags, but more do its nice to not have to do it if we don't want to. I was tired tonight so we haven't bothered.

Right, so I know this is going to make me sound bitter and twisted but I can't help resenting SIL who has a baby and keeps bloody posting pics everywhere. She struggled to get upduffed and now she has her bubba, it feels like she doesn't know when to stop. I just wanted to get it off my chest that she does my head in anyway, so when she posts about her baby I get even more annoyed because she's so flipping self-congratulatory about it all. Grrrrrr. I can't fully explain everything behind my annoyance on here, but I'm just feeling at her attitude.

Plus, I'm just having a pissed off, why the chuff do some people get their babies so easily? Why can't I be one of those people? It's just so unfair.

Hang in there Maggie.

lil

you need to sprinkle a bit of salt on pineapple - it stops your mouth from being sore!

Don't worry bear, we all get like that. It really isn't fair and we just happen to be the ones losing out. All I try and do is remember that other people's fertility has no direct impact on my own. Just because they get pregnant is not the reason I can't. Doesn't stop me wanting to cry when I see another scan picture or get told how easy someone else found it!

I say go for it when you are ready too cookie. If I had known it would be this hard I would have started trying earlier. You just never know. So long as you are aware you might have a long haul flight quite late on, you can deal with the logistics if you need to. Don't put your life on hold for someone else's.

Any progress on the sickness minion??

Pineapple makes my tongue sore too lil. Still like it though!

minion wishing you a belated happy birthday.

bear vent all you like. It's an irritation I share with you. Not my sil, but friends who do the same. Seems the moment they get upduffed the memory of struggling to get there vanishes and with it the ability to be sympathetic to anyone else in the same position. A friend who took 2 years to conceive told me yesterday I should get preggers and give up work 'cos it's great fun' - wtf do you say to that?! If you are taking about facebook too, I'm not sure how I feel about documenting your dc's childhood on there anyway. They will grow up into adults and might not want their baby pics all over the www? Or am I showing my age?!

Morning.
Thanks for the birthday wishes girls, had a lovely day.
The nausea continued throughout yesterday but I still managed to eat everything put in front of me (like a trooper I might add). Had the most gorgeous meal at piccolino, asparagus, lamb and panna cotta..yum yum!
Still no PMS. Even nipple have dies down. Tis very odd.

hoping it means something min and sickness too

zing I read its the bromelain that hurts your mouth so if I put salt on to stop the pain won't that stop the bromelain working?

bear vent away. its bloody annoying isn't it. like Essie I keep getting told by someone at work I should have a baby so I can have a year off. wtf do I say to that? "thanks I'm working on it" problem is work us causing me so much stress its probably stopping me getting upduffed! grrr OK sorry, sidetracked into my own rant there...

cooking roast for my family today so best get on

Well at least now ertd is here I can start counting again... I made my cycle somewhere between 35 and 40 days last month.

It's the core that makes your mouth sore I think lil

Oh ffs. Whats wrong with my stupid body. A week late now and another bfn to add to the collection. Boob still sore which is weird as that usually only lasts a couple of days. I'm stuck in a post icing groundhog day.

Can I join? No kids- found out I was pregnant in June the day me and DH got back from our honeymoon. Miscarried at 11 weeks in August. Have had two periods since- my second period arrived this evening and it's floored me. Me and DH had sex EVERY DAY this month goddamn it!

I don't want to start temp charting etc, partly because I don't really understand all that stuff, and party because it seems too early to start becoming obsessed about it all. SO can I pull up a chair and join you JSers?!

welcome ahoy sorry to hear about your mc. and sorry the witch has got you again this month. we have a pity jacuzzi if you need a dip. and we have shag capes too so start designing yours for when ertd f's off

mine was pink and fluffy this month. think in the twot now so hopefully won't need another one.

how's everyone's weekend been?

ahoy so sorry to hear you lost a baby.
it's devastating.
be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve.

(hugs)

Yay a newbie! Welcome ahoy sorry to hear about your mc, that's utterly pants. Hope you like it here.

Move over Jamie and your money saving meals. I've picked blackberries and sloes from down the lane and cooking apples and pears from my mums garden today. First on the list of things to make is sloe gin. Nom nom.

Hi ahoy our ultimate plan is Jsing but some lots of us do use contraband. Sorry to hear of your loss, I can't imagine how it feels

Gulp - they moved op forward to this afternoon!

Hello ahoy sorry to hear about your mc. I'm going through one right now! Its very lovely here!

Sending lots of love cookie. Rest up afterwards. xxx

hugs and love cookie we'll be here.

Welcome to the fred ahoy sorry it's under such shitty cicumstances. I had a mc in June. We dtd every day in the first month too but no bfp. Every month af seems a reminder of a the loss and how pregnant i should be.

You'll find plenty of support here...welcome to the JSing club!

Cookie i hope evrything goes ok today.

Good luck and relax cookie and we'll see you when you next on t'internet.
Welcome aboard ahoy, don shag cape, customisable of course and enjoy the chocolate covered pretzels.

Still no PMS breadsticks or cramps here. But am still feeling sicky, last night actually being sick, lots of acid reflux and windy pops -sorry. Tested today (10dpo) and bfn, so once again, frick knows what my body is up to.
Can't say I'm impressed tbh and to top it off I'm just waiting on a call from my dad who has to go into hospital app this arvo as he got diagnosed with a chest infection a few weeks ago and they've seen something on the X-ray on his lung.
I'm actually bricking it. He said they think it was the remnants of the infection but I always jump to the worst possible outcome.
The app was at 3:30 so he should know by know and he's not text or call..l it's bad isn't it?
I really am freakingout. Hand holding much needed girls xx

Oh Minion, , keeping everything crossed it's not bad news for your Dad. How scary for you. Wish there was something I could say to make the waiting less horrible.

Think I'm out, got the familiar crampy feeling. ERTD just around the corner. Only a week late. What a load of crap my body is.

Hope you are OK cookie

minion I hope you've heard and all OK. they so no news is good news

shit day at work today. could really do with my bfp so an end is in sight!

Oh no, minion, it's always horrible to hear something like that but better they look into it before it's a problem. Hope it's just routine but he's with the professionals.

Hope today hasn't been too awful cookie. Just a shitty situation but hope you're ok.

Feeling that feeling lil, once I've got that BFP there's a count down to get out! I don't hate my job but I want to do something different with my life!

Welcome ahoy! Sounds like you've had a crappy time already but hope this is the start of something more positive!

Essie- sounds promising. Really hoping for you.

Thanks for the ventage guys. I needed that. Sheesh stuff gets so annoying doesn't it? I'm sorry you all feel the same but it's also lovely being able to say what I think and you just get it. Hoping this makes sense as my brain is like goo ATM. Busy, busy days at work. Relaxing by watching crap on YouTube. :)

Sorry for Ertd Maggie.

Oh sorry! My phone didn't load the new messages on here. Minion- hope you are okay? Thinking of you.