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Original poster

TTC #1 and lost the plot

32 replies

Diamondsareagirls · 16/08/2013 10:12

Hi all. I have been TTC #1 with DH for 2 months (yes! not that long!) and I feel like I have lost my mind! All I think about is babies and what stage I am at in my cycle. Has this happened to anyone else? We were really excited to start but I did not anticipate it taking over my life so much and we haven't even got pregnant yet.

When people talk about stuff in the future I am thinking, "well, if I get pregnant this month that would mean...etc". I am driving myself mad and trying not to do the same to DH and mostly managing to keep the madness to myself Grin.

So, come and make me feel better. Anyone else going equally mad?

OP posts:
Cupcake11 · 16/08/2013 10:15

Yes - welcome to the club! I'm same as you, second cycle (well first proper one really as only started halfway through last one)

Dh already thinks I've lost the plot! I see it as just being excited/prepared though Grin

VJONES1985 · 16/08/2013 10:17

Totally normal! I now know much more about my cervix than I ever thought I'd need!

Doodledumdums · 16/08/2013 10:19

I was exactly the same as you, it literally consumed my every thought for 6 months until I got pregnant. My DS is 7mo now Smile I think it is perfectly normal to become obsessed about it, I feel for you though, it's not easy!

Hope you get your BFP soon!

Original poster
Diamondsareagirls · 16/08/2013 10:22

Thank goodness there are others out there and I'm not completely mad! I did start a conversation with my DH about cervical mucus the other day and quickly realised he just didn't want to know that much detail and was much more interested in just DTD! Who would have thought it?!

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fifi669 · 16/08/2013 10:24

It happens to all of us I think! You start TTC thinking you'll have lots of sex and then it'll happen.... You surprise yourself how disappointed you are when first cycle is BFN.... Then out comes the temping charts, OPKs, dr google, symptom spotting, CM checks....

LittleMissPear · 16/08/2013 10:42

Another one to add the the crazy obsessive list. I'm in my 2ww and time had never gone this slowly I swear! I keep looking at calendars and thinking if I'm pregnant this cycle I'll have my scan x date and can start telling people x date. Urrrr I shouldn't do it to myself! Grin

Original poster
Diamondsareagirls · 16/08/2013 11:03

LittleMissPear I swear time is different in the 2ww than normal time! I get so annoyed at myself for planning ahead so much for imaginary dates as I know it will only make it worse if AF arrives. Doesn't stop me though [simle]

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Original poster
Diamondsareagirls · 16/08/2013 11:03

oooppps that should have been a Smile

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Minion · 16/08/2013 11:06

diamonds
Me too. Now I've learnt that every bloodysymptom is a simple PMS one... Buggery annoying too!
Why don't you come over to the just shagging thread, it's full of neurotic likeminded shaggers, and it's a grand old place to obsess be!
Look for the topic title about twotting and the orange unicorn!

Original poster
Diamondsareagirls · 16/08/2013 11:39

Ooh thanks Minion I will do. I can already feel the sharing of the madness is making it more normal in my head!

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CoffeeGuzzler · 16/08/2013 13:07

Diamonds,

I totally know how you feel. We weren't really trying but just did it sans rubber about four (I know) times last month and then AF arrived a couple of days ago. I was surprised at how disappointed I was. So now first proper cycle of ttc. I am now obsessed. Have even had a peek at the infertility sections!! Aaarrggh. (slaps herself).

onelifeonechance · 16/08/2013 13:22

Diamondsareagirls - It is as though we are twins! Everything you have written in your thread is me! And v glad to hear the other girls saying they feel the same - hello all Smile - as it helps to know i'm not the only one losing the plot a little! Also ttc #1 in cycle 2, came off pill in Feb and cycles have ranged from 23-26 days since then. We started trying in July and even though i thought i was completely sane and prepared that it may take a good few months for a BFP i was utterly convinced i was pregnant the first month because i felt twinges and cramps (obviously must've been wind! Wink) to the extent that i was even planning my annual leave to coincide with my 'maternity' leave! (please tell me i'm not the only one to have had this thought?!) Then when AF turned up and i burst into tears my poor DH wasn't quite sure how to handle things..and to be honest neither i am. I completely put my hands up that i am now officially obsessed - my name is onelifeonechance and i am a BFPoholic Wink

Cupcake11 · 16/08/2013 13:37

Haha onelife, that made me laugh!

Original poster
Diamondsareagirls · 16/08/2013 14:13

onelifeonechance - Yep, that sounds exactly like me! I even thought the fact that I burst into tears when I got the first BFN was proof that I must be pregnant despite the evidence as I was getting so hormonal! Grin I couldn't explain this to my DH though as I am already afraid he thinks his normally in control and sane wife has disappeared!

I read on a thread the other day that bleeding gums was a sign of being pregnant and when it happened to me when brushing my teeth in the morning (happened loads before TTC) I was convinced that was proof as well.

I am normally quite in control, logical and have quite a sensible, responsible job. What has happened to me?!

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onelifeonechance · 16/08/2013 14:30

Likewise - when AF arrived in full flow i spent the morning trying to convince myself it was just 'spotting'!

Problem with google searches of 'symptoms' it that absolutely ANYTHING can potentiallly be a 'sign'..constipation/loose stools...tiredness/not being able to sleep...urinating frequently/less frequently...period cramps/no cramps at all...sore boobs/happy boobs. I have sworn to myself i'm not going to symptom spot this time..but why i've even bothered to type that is a mystery as it's soooo not going to happen Hmm

keepswimming1 · 16/08/2013 15:23

So looks like I'm not the only mad one, all I can think of at the moment is babies. I already know that if I don't get caught this month then the next possible chance of giving birth for me is July. Already have a girls name picked out... how crazy is that!!! Drives me mad. Ive done exactly the same as you onelife when it comes to spotting symptoms and I'm pretty sure I will carry on doing it to. :/

layla1976 · 16/08/2013 15:42

hi all.....i've completely lost it...every time af arrives i cry for days, i have imaginary syptoms mid month and before af i'm convinced ..this is it this time and to top it all my DH has just NOSILY read a post on here to someone else and read me ranting on about how its his fault ( and its not) and its my ovulation time now so now he's not up for it and thats another month wasted...i've turned into an unreasonable monster....at this rate i'll be single soon and using a donor instead... its so stressful dont you think!!!! masses and masses of baby dust to you all that are TTC Blush Sad

VJONES1985 · 16/08/2013 17:23

Onelife - yep, I'm a symptom-spotting freak as well. If I had accidentally got pg and had all these symptoms, I would have forgotten about them and written them off. Now,it's like as soon as I have a headache I'm convinced I'm three months pregnant with twins or something!

onelifeonechance · 17/08/2013 08:29

Well my 2ww starts here...anyone know any good books?!

layla1976 · 17/08/2013 19:28

onelifeonce... my 2ww now.....goodluck...keep me posted ...baby dust to you... you must be doing your pre test about the same time....heres fingers crossed for us both..... best of luck... i'll eep you posted too.... xxxxxx

onelifeonechance · 18/08/2013 08:52

Thanks layla1976, good luck to you too. I'm not testing til September is here. I didn't get to poas last time as af showed up, so will wait til she's late before doing anything. In the meantime i'm keeping my fingers crossed...wishing on a star...playing I spy....counting sheep...watching paint dry...

Actually I went to a charity shop yst and bought a big thick classic, Middlemarch by George Eliot as it was the biggest book in there with the littlest writing so it's going to become my new best friend to help me along the 2ww (alongside all you lovely ladies) Figure if I don't get my bfp this month at least I will have become a tad more cultured Smile

Any other distraction tactics you'd like to share?

layla1976 · 18/08/2013 20:49

haha...well BIG FAT FINGERS CROSSED for us all....... i missed my ov day but dtd the day before so i dont hold my breath but you never know....hopefully this month (sept) will be our time.. i've given up testing early as it got so expensive so as hard as it is, i try to forget about it until its late...but boy is it hard...i wake up thinking of it, think of it all day , dream about it, you name it....2ww is torture..lets keep busy and pray!!!!! goodluck!!!!!!!

layla1976 · 18/08/2013 20:50

p.s...i cook and take the dog for long walks and try to catch up with old friends in my 2ww... xxx

Original poster
Diamondsareagirls · 23/08/2013 09:49

Hi everyone, it turns out I wasn't going completely mad as I got my BFP on Wednesday! Can't quite believe it but I am over the moon! Fingers crossed for everyone else. Hopefully our madness will turn out to be pregnancy hormones!

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onelifeonechance · 23/08/2013 10:31

OMG Diamonds that is fantastic news! Lots of whooping and cheering from me Smile

Gives me hope too that it might happen quickly as keep having to have a word with myself that this is only our second cycle of trying so must be more patient! I'm half way through my 2ww, it's been a looooooooong week! Not feeling anything this time, had a few crampy pains last night but had those last time with a BFN so would be shocked if it is anything this time round. But the good news in our house is that DH is no longer away with work during my fertile week next month so I'm feeling much happier about that as no way could I have waited two months to try again.

How did you feel during your 2ww? Not that i'm trying to symptom spot or anything completely want to know any signs or symptoms you have so can see if i'm having them too