Is anybody currently trying for their first baby?

[edward49582]

Sorry if there's already a thread on this :) I couldn't find one.

I am 32, nearly 33 (gulp!) years old and have been trying for our first since June, although we messed that cycle up a bit so July is the first month of 'really' trying. We feel the time is right now as are settled into jobs (had a rough couple of years but came through it stronger) have no mortgage on our (small!) home and desperately want a child to bring into our lives.

Very, very broody at the moment and also a spring or early summer baby would fit beautifully with maternity leave! But I'd take a baby any time, any place!

[DarlingBudsOfMay]

Congratulations writer! This is exciting!

revoltingpeasant I understand that your pregnancy dates from your last period so you probably would be 4 weeks pregnant around the time of your period....it's weird how they do this. Also a tip, I bought some cheapy extra sensitive tests from eBay from a company that supplies the nhs, or so they say. The normal ones available in shops detect around 50 mui but if you get ones that are sensitive to 10 or 20 mui you can do your test that little bit earlier if you're impatient :)

[Sparrowlegs248]

Congratulations writer !!! darlingbuds what is 'mui'? I have bought cheapy tests from wilkinsons but feel i may need to go cheaper still! I have one atm but am waiting until 7th aug when af is due (based on 28day cycle) seems ages away!!! Sure i will cave before then so think i might but some internet cheapies. Or poundland..

So, not sure (although pretty sure....) if i am way off the mark here, but last night just aftr tea, left side lower pain, and really quite bad nausea. Couldn't finish my wine!!! So, felt bad enough to go and lay on bed at 8.30. Couldn't read or look at MN. Fell asleep to be woken at 11pm when hubby came up. Still felt dodgy. Feeling better today but only just got going.

Common sense dictates that i'm just under the weather but even my husband asked this morning 'are you pregnant?' Unlikely but soooo easy to get a wee bit obsessed!!

[PinkHat1]

I know you can get internet cheapies but didn't know Wilkinsons, (Nevermind Poundland!) do pregnancy tests too..

[Writerwannabe83]

I got some right funny looks when I stocked up in Poundland.

They clearly thought I was mental with 10 pregnancy tests in my basket

[Sparrowlegs248]

Poundland - 1proper test for (you've guessed it!!) £1 or two tests 'strips' for £1.

[Writerwannabe83]

I wonder if the 99p shops sell them too??

[Neecole13]

Hi guys can I ask a wee question as I'm unsure about all this ovulation and fertile days stuff lol. I came off the pill on Sunday and got my period on Tuesday, for it to come as quick as that is it a good sign?
Also, my partner suffers from delayed ejaculaton so it kind of only "happens for him" 1 in 3 or 4 times, just making me worry a bit. Does anyone else's partner have this? Read about the ol' turkey baster stuff but I think suggesting that to him would hurt his feelings.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Neecole I am having that same issue. I made a deal with DH whereby we spend this summer just shagging as and when we can around ovulation date. Then if by autumn it hasn't worked we use basters.

I put it like this: ttc is not romantic. It is a means to an end. Having all the pressure of coming inside etc doesn't help ttc or our love life. So, let's do this one kinda unpleasant clinical thing to get our bfp then go back to enjoying ourselves, as it takes the performance pressure off.

Would that work on him?

[Writerwannabe83]

Hi Neecole and Revolting

It must be hard facing those issues. That's a good attitude to take though Revolting - sometimes being upfront is the best way to go. Also I imagine your realistic but compassionate approach will help your husband relax.

Me and my DH only had sex 3 times around ovulation time (3 times over the space of about 8 days I think) and it led to our BFP, so it can happen without the pressure of needing to have as much sex as possible.

Best of luck to you both x x

[DarlingBudsOfMay]

Nottalotta sorry for the late reply, you've probably found out since but mui is the unit they measure HCG the hormone detected in pregnancy tests, the more pregnant you are the higher the amount of hcg in your urine. The ones I bought on the Internet detect very early stages of pregancy and therefore the lower levels of HCG. I feel really dodgy too, my period is due today but hasn't shown, I've already caved in and done two cheapy tests, bfn so I'm going to wait a few more days. Good luck to you all x

[Neecole13]

Hi revolting and writer :)

It's not so much about the fact it's not very romantic it's more to do with his pride I think but suppose if it doesn't happen on its on then will have no choice but to suggest it to him. I kind of knew a bit about the problem but sat and looked through google more indepth and mega regretting it now! It's just made me feel terrible lol.

[Writerwannabe83]

Is it something that is a bit of an issue in your relationship anyway? Or is it something quite openly discussed and dealt with?

How has your research made you feel terrible?? x

[EmJay9]

Hi all, think I might have to invest in some of these cheaper tests too! Which do people recommend?? My AF should be due today however I had some spotting followed by bleeding then more days of spotting earlier in week, hoped poss implant bleeding but then as I came of pill end of April resigned myself to it prob being AF early, couldn't take disappointment of negative test so didn't do one but today I feel v sad for no apparent reason feel on brink of tears and v tired so that's prob to do with hormones.

[Writerwannabe83]

I got mine off eBay - about 10 of them for £4. They were just ones that I had to dip into my urine sample. There are absolutely loads of tests on eBay, I was spoilt for choice

Cheap and cheerful

Good luck getting your BFP x x

[Neecole13]

He always talks about how it makes him feel like a failure and that if it doesn't get better he thinks I will leave him which in turn makes the problem worse.

I read somewhere that because when he's emm going solo he can use fantasies where as when having sex he would be thinking about me which might not be good enough. Just made me feel a bit terrible even though he tries to reassure me that's not the case with us I just think he's saying it to make me feel better. I always act like it doesn't bother me but deep down it does.
I should stop googling stuff it always ends terribly haha

[Writerwannabe83]

I read somewhere that because when he's emm going solo he can use fantasies where as when having sex he would be thinking about me which might not be good enough

- that can't have been nice to read

Can he ejaculate with masturbation then or is that a problem too?

A few days ago I was reading a really interesting thread about people using the Turkey Baster method and it was so interesting and the success rates were really high. I was surprised at how many women had conceived via that method.

Maybe you should start a new thread and ask for advice from people who have been there and done that?

[RaRaZ]

I read the same thread and had the same reaction lol, Writer. Trying to persuade DP to try that next month.

[Writerwannabe83]

And what's his reaction???

[Neecole13]

He can when he does it himself and most of the time if I do it for him, it's just so stressful it already was to begin with buy even more now we're ttc. I think I will start another thread. Thanks for the help :)

[RaRaZ]

Was that to me, Writer? Umm, he totally didn't get it at first . Think he found it offensive to his masculinity/virility and thought it was totally unnecessary. I've explained it a bit more to him now though and he's promised to think about it. I said I'd like to have sex with a condom (better, I thought, than suggesting he came into a cup on his own) and then use a syringe to sort it out myself afterwards. Are you thinking about doing it too?

[Writerwannabe83]

No. I'm already up-duffed, I'm just really curious about it

That's a good idea about using a condom - it will seem more natural I imagine?

I really hope it works for you x

[RaRaZ]

Oh aye. Sorry Writer, I should have remembered that. Is everything ok then? I remember you had a worry or two. I trust you're ok now then?

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm ok now I think

My breasts no longer look or feel like my own though and it is quite alarming

I had some persistent cramps yesterday and this morning but they have eased off now. I had a little "am I miscarrying?" wobble for a few hours but MN reassured me aches and pains can be normal as the womb changes shape etc. It got to the point where I was nervous whenever I went for a wee in case I saw any blood but nothing yet

Getting the BFP was the only fun part of this TTC lark - I have been nothing but worried and paranoid since

[RevoltingPeasant]

Neecole - yeah me and DH had a lot of those chats, about how he wasn't good enough or normal or something.

May I be quite frank, without offending you....?

I came to see those things my DH was saying as quite self indulgent. After a while, I just got pissed off. He had a certain medical issue (that's his case). I married him, because I love him and am not bothered about it. Now we want to make a baby. We both have stuff "wrong with" us that might hinder that. I have an odd cervix and am 34, not young! So I am going to do a bunch of boring and I undignified stuff to get around those issues, like finding my cervix, lying on the back with legs in air after sex, testing my wee for hormones, taking frolic acid every day - etc etc!!

So I figured he needed to just get in with it. Because it wasn't about his pride or his masculinity. Unless he was saying I was unfeminine for having a weird cervix!

I also think that playing the masculine pride card can be a head in the sand way of not dealing with the real issue, which is hard and scary. I was very, very gentle and sympathetic for about three years, and then one day I woke up and realised I wasn't getting any younger and if he wanted DC with me, he needed to do some less than glamorous stuff, like I'll be doing if we succeed!

Just my experience :)

[bushprincess]

Hi all! also TTC #1 and only on the first go.... having thought i would be totally chilled about the whole thing , as soon as DH and I decided to have s go i''ve been googling like mad, checking out calendars and generally going a bit loopy! Now on the 2 week wait for .AF ...or hopefully not....so glad I'm not alone!,
Good luck everyone! And sorry about any typos, still getting used to my new tablet thingy!