Is anybody currently trying for their first baby?

[edward49582]

Sorry if there's already a thread on this :) I couldn't find one.

I am 32, nearly 33 (gulp!) years old and have been trying for our first since June, although we messed that cycle up a bit so July is the first month of 'really' trying. We feel the time is right now as are settled into jobs (had a rough couple of years but came through it stronger) have no mortgage on our (small!) home and desperately want a child to bring into our lives.

Very, very broody at the moment and also a spring or early summer baby would fit beautifully with maternity leave! But I'd take a baby any time, any place!

[Monstamio]

Sorry - didn't answer all your questions.

I usually start checking from around cycle day 9. This month - for example - I got negatives on days 9-13, forgot to do it on day 14 (which was stupid), but picked up a surge at both 10am and 2pm on day 15. By day 16 which is when my app predicted I would be ovulating anyway (based on cycle length) the line was getting fainter again suggesting the surge had passed.

The stupid thing about missing day 14 is that I now don't know whether the surge started then or the following day (as it can last anything from 1-3 days). But I dtd on days 13 and 15 anyway so hopefully covered it off.

The advice (unlike with a pg test) is not to use first morning urine but to test mid morning onwards, as the surge starts in the morning so might not show up in your first pee of the day!

[Monstamio]

Hey sorry for being so slow in coming back... Yep OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits) are sticks like a home pregnancy test you use to try to determine when you are going to ovulate. They're a bit hit and miss and take some getting used to (especially the cheap internet ones that I use!) but are pretty helpful.

Essentially they measure the levels of luteinizing hormone (LH) in your urine. Women have a certain amount of this hormone in their bodies naturally but experience a surge once a month which is what triggers your ovary to release an egg. When the stick detects this surge and gives a positive result you are likely to ovulate within 12 to 36 hours. So it gives a bit of a timescale for when to dtd, especially when combined with cervical fluid charting etc.

It's not an exact science, so can't be relied upon absolutely - it's easy to miss a surge for example or start dtd too late. And it doesn't tell you whether you actually have ovulated, only doing body temping can tell you that (which I haven't quite graduated to yet as it's a bit of an involved process!).

HTH!

[Sparrowlegs248]

Oh and good luck!

[Sparrowlegs248]

I'm fine actualky,.thank you monstemio better now af is here rather than fretting like i was before. I thought it unlikely given having only had one af since coming off the jab and no idea when i ovulate. I hope for things to settle into a pattern over the next couple of months.

Maybe if it was several months down the line i would worry more.

Can you tell me more about opks? Are they wee wee sticks? How often do you do it? Thank you.

[Monstamio]

Sorry to hear that Nottalotta Hope you don't feel too down about it and AF gets out of the way quickly so you can start looking to next month.

I think I'm ovulating today - I had a positive OPK yesterday, falling again today and also EWCM yesterday and today. High cervix too. (Though I don't get ovulation pains - is that just me?).

DTD on Friday night and Sunday morning. Planning to jump DH tonight too if possible, though I don't think either of us are enjoying the pressure of sex to a schedule. But then again doing it every other day for the whole month is a definite no no, so we're trying to be a bit strategic about things!

Anyone else approaching the dreaded 2ww..?

[Sparrowlegs248]

Ugh. AF appeared today so i'm out til next time!

[Pipbin]

Ladies, I've not read much of the thread here but do come and join us on the Elderberry Pavlova thread.
It's open to woman over 30 trying for number 1 and have been trying for more than 3 months or so.
Sounds like we are very dictatorial but we are lovely really.

We are here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1803583-The-Elderberry-Pavlovas-who-will-graduate-thread-12

[RevoltingPeasant]

Oh yeah, started AF today so waiting another two weeks to be cracking again now...

[bushprincess]

Hi all! also TTC #1 and only on the first go.... having thought i would be totally chilled about the whole thing , as soon as DH and I decided to have s go i''ve been googling like mad, checking out calendars and generally going a bit loopy! Now on the 2 week wait for .AF ...or hopefully not....so glad I'm not alone!,
Good luck everyone! And sorry about any typos, still getting used to my new tablet thingy!

[RevoltingPeasant]

Neecole - yeah me and DH had a lot of those chats, about how he wasn't good enough or normal or something.

May I be quite frank, without offending you....?

I came to see those things my DH was saying as quite self indulgent. After a while, I just got pissed off. He had a certain medical issue (that's his case). I married him, because I love him and am not bothered about it. Now we want to make a baby. We both have stuff "wrong with" us that might hinder that. I have an odd cervix and am 34, not young! So I am going to do a bunch of boring and I undignified stuff to get around those issues, like finding my cervix, lying on the back with legs in air after sex, testing my wee for hormones, taking frolic acid every day - etc etc!!

So I figured he needed to just get in with it. Because it wasn't about his pride or his masculinity. Unless he was saying I was unfeminine for having a weird cervix!

I also think that playing the masculine pride card can be a head in the sand way of not dealing with the real issue, which is hard and scary. I was very, very gentle and sympathetic for about three years, and then one day I woke up and realised I wasn't getting any younger and if he wanted DC with me, he needed to do some less than glamorous stuff, like I'll be doing if we succeed!

Just my experience :)

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm ok now I think

My breasts no longer look or feel like my own though and it is quite alarming

I had some persistent cramps yesterday and this morning but they have eased off now. I had a little "am I miscarrying?" wobble for a few hours but MN reassured me aches and pains can be normal as the womb changes shape etc. It got to the point where I was nervous whenever I went for a wee in case I saw any blood but nothing yet

Getting the BFP was the only fun part of this TTC lark - I have been nothing but worried and paranoid since

[RaRaZ]

Oh aye. Sorry Writer, I should have remembered that. Is everything ok then? I remember you had a worry or two. I trust you're ok now then?

[Writerwannabe83]

No. I'm already up-duffed, I'm just really curious about it

That's a good idea about using a condom - it will seem more natural I imagine?

I really hope it works for you x

[RaRaZ]

Was that to me, Writer? Umm, he totally didn't get it at first . Think he found it offensive to his masculinity/virility and thought it was totally unnecessary. I've explained it a bit more to him now though and he's promised to think about it. I said I'd like to have sex with a condom (better, I thought, than suggesting he came into a cup on his own) and then use a syringe to sort it out myself afterwards. Are you thinking about doing it too?

[Neecole13]

He can when he does it himself and most of the time if I do it for him, it's just so stressful it already was to begin with buy even more now we're ttc. I think I will start another thread. Thanks for the help :)

[Writerwannabe83]

And what's his reaction???

[RaRaZ]

I read the same thread and had the same reaction lol, Writer. Trying to persuade DP to try that next month.

[Writerwannabe83]

I read somewhere that because when he's emm going solo he can use fantasies where as when having sex he would be thinking about me which might not be good enough

- that can't have been nice to read

Can he ejaculate with masturbation then or is that a problem too?

A few days ago I was reading a really interesting thread about people using the Turkey Baster method and it was so interesting and the success rates were really high. I was surprised at how many women had conceived via that method.

Maybe you should start a new thread and ask for advice from people who have been there and done that?

[Neecole13]

He always talks about how it makes him feel like a failure and that if it doesn't get better he thinks I will leave him which in turn makes the problem worse.

I read somewhere that because when he's emm going solo he can use fantasies where as when having sex he would be thinking about me which might not be good enough. Just made me feel a bit terrible even though he tries to reassure me that's not the case with us I just think he's saying it to make me feel better. I always act like it doesn't bother me but deep down it does.
I should stop googling stuff it always ends terribly haha

[Writerwannabe83]

I got mine off eBay - about 10 of them for £4. They were just ones that I had to dip into my urine sample. There are absolutely loads of tests on eBay, I was spoilt for choice

Cheap and cheerful

Good luck getting your BFP x x

[EmJay9]

Hi all, think I might have to invest in some of these cheaper tests too! Which do people recommend?? My AF should be due today however I had some spotting followed by bleeding then more days of spotting earlier in week, hoped poss implant bleeding but then as I came of pill end of April resigned myself to it prob being AF early, couldn't take disappointment of negative test so didn't do one but today I feel v sad for no apparent reason feel on brink of tears and v tired so that's prob to do with hormones.

[Writerwannabe83]

Is it something that is a bit of an issue in your relationship anyway? Or is it something quite openly discussed and dealt with?

How has your research made you feel terrible?? x

[Neecole13]

Hi revolting and writer :)

It's not so much about the fact it's not very romantic it's more to do with his pride I think but suppose if it doesn't happen on its on then will have no choice but to suggest it to him. I kind of knew a bit about the problem but sat and looked through google more indepth and mega regretting it now! It's just made me feel terrible lol.

[DarlingBudsOfMay]

Nottalotta sorry for the late reply, you've probably found out since but mui is the unit they measure HCG the hormone detected in pregnancy tests, the more pregnant you are the higher the amount of hcg in your urine. The ones I bought on the Internet detect very early stages of pregancy and therefore the lower levels of HCG. I feel really dodgy too, my period is due today but hasn't shown, I've already caved in and done two cheapy tests, bfn so I'm going to wait a few more days. Good luck to you all x

[Writerwannabe83]

Hi Neecole and Revolting

It must be hard facing those issues. That's a good attitude to take though Revolting - sometimes being upfront is the best way to go. Also I imagine your realistic but compassionate approach will help your husband relax.

Me and my DH only had sex 3 times around ovulation time (3 times over the space of about 8 days I think) and it led to our BFP, so it can happen without the pressure of needing to have as much sex as possible.

Best of luck to you both x x