Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

zen, I had implantation spotting 3 days after dtd when pregnant with ds2. I know the books say 5-10 days post-conception is more usual but it can and does occur earlier too. I think this would be 5 days after for you though? Fingers crossed!
Gum Hope you had a wonderful time at the ballet! I would love to see Swan Lake - I've been a few times but have always ended up seeing Sleeping beauty . Your weekend sounds wonderful, and please don't see your birthday as anything significant in ttc-terms. FWIW I think I would be thinking the same as you, and carrying on until the bitter end. I would also keep going in the same vein with dh, however stressful the whole ttc journey has become. Hoping you find time to relax and enjoy the next few days (and get a few dtd in too!)

Hopeful, it is only for you to know how much it really will be an issue for your DH if you had a new baby. I guess you know him well enough to know that he will take it in his stride and finally will be happy. My DH never wanted kids until the first one arrived. Afterwards, there was no stopping him! Do not ask how that first one got made:-) now it is him rather than me who would really really be disappointed if we do not get one more! and he is much more optimistic about the whole issue than me.
Happy birthday! You are only marginally older next moth than this month, never mind what the numbers say!

Zen, welcome - unfortunately I can not help on implantation bleeding. In successful pregnancies, I have seem no blood since the LMP whatsoever, for me blood equals doom. But I know for very many women it is very different, so fingers crossed!

Good Morning!

Hi, Zen, it is lovely to see you on the thread. I didn't have implantation bleeding with my DS3, but did have a huge implantation dip on my chart at 5dpo, so it definitely isn't too early for implantation! I have everything crossed that you get a BFP this time

The ballet was lovely, I love the music, but I do feel our little city entertainment centre, though lovely and new, is slightly inadequate for the Russian Ballet. It felt like the stage wasn't quite big enough, and it wasn't live music, which would have been so much better. Having said that, the tights were tight (on the young men), the dancers were very talented and overall it was good. I did start nodding off a bit at the end, and when it had finished I was happy! I saw it with a lovely friend and we had a champas at the start, which was nice.

I have been dragged out of bed by DS at 6 am, so feeling a bit worse for wear, but I am sure all will be well once the caffeine kicks in! I will have a swim this morning, that should get me going.

Today I will try to forget that I am getting older (I really must make a hair appointment to get the grey roots covered!) and will enjoy a cuppa with friends at a cute cafe (might even have cake seeings as birthday food is calorie free ), hopefully come home to a nicely painted kitchen and then enjoy Thai takeaway tonight.What's not to love about that?

Although I practically nodded off twice before managing SWI, we did DTD (I had a stern talking to myself!) last night, but OPK was negative. However I can feel a stirring in my right ovary and have had EWCM, so I think ovulation is approaching. I will try to get some SWI happening this weekend (it is my birthday, right?), and hopefully ovulation won't dally...

Have a great Saturday folks

Happy Birrhday Hopeful.....I hope you have a wonderful day and an extra little something fof your efforts :)

Happy birthday Gum!!!! Xxxx
Sorry I don't contribute nowadays.... Still lurking...

Happy birthday Gum!!!! Xxxx
Sorry I don't contribute nowadays.... Still lurking...

Thanks, Jas. Happy birthday, Gum! And congratulations on baby Laurie, Diege. I have been reading this thread all through your pregnancy. Other people's pregnancies seem to fly by so quickly, don't they? It's like if you are out with the DC and people comment on how quickly they are growing up, but it may not feel so fast to you (which is a good thing)

Happy birthday gum you're right all birthday food is calorie free. And happy birthday party diege's dd! Still no af for me and for some reason I woke up this morning thinking how much I really do want another baby. We need to try harder but first of course I need to bleed.

Happy birthday gum!! With all the laps you do, I would allow myself to eat mountains of birthday cake... Just enjoy this day and remember time is a continuous variable..
jass I see what you mean when you suggest me to trust my baby, but it'so so more difficult when you've already lost one who seemed to be perfect until 22th week... I still don't know wether I will have a cvs or a later amnyo to check for cmv infection, but I feel guilty for doing the cvs but at the same time I would like to have some reassurance and my dp is even more anxious than me..

My guts tell me I should keep a baby with down, he's adamant he would not..if something turns wrong with this pregnancy I will really need your support..
I'm now 12 weeks but I still didn't tell anybody in rl
except one friend...

zen hope it's implantation bleeding for you!
diege I think to take an extra month at work is really the wisest choice!! What do you teach? Is that in the uni?
isadorable wouldn't it be worth doing another test?
AFM, I'm getting used to my naughty students behaviour..actually some of them are not that bad, but the average level is very, very low..We had some meetings with some parents and I'm realizing how
hard it is to parent teenagers

Aww, thank you for the birthday wishes. It's so nice.

I had a lovely day yesterday, a long cuppa with friends at a cafe, a long swim, fun shopping at the thrift store, then a quiet afternoon. My DH's sister and mother came and had dinner with us, which was nice, but I kept wishing they'd leave so DH and I could watch the movie we'd planned! By the time they left and we put the film on, I was pretty knackered and fell asleep on the couch. However, I was able to wake up enough for some SWI! Pretty pleased with the effort thus far. Lets hope there's a reasonable egg ready to pop soon.

Unfortunately, DH's snoring and my worries about Christmas (after discussions with SIL) had me awake at 4:30 am, and up at about 5! Looks like I will be having a birthday nanna nap!

I've not opened my presents yet, but as part of my pressie we bought a family membership to the recreation centre (where I swim), which means I can also go to the exercise classes and use the gym, as can DH and the kids. So I am happy with that. DS has a beautifully wrapped gift for me, I can't wait to open it, just to see his pleasure.

mozza, if you have the cvs, when will you have it? It must be a terribly difficult decision to make.

When I had DS I was 41, we had a combined test result of 1:178 for trisomy 13&18. We had to make the decision about whether to have cvs or amnio. We chose amnio as I felt the baby would be further along and perhaps give us better odds for not miscarrying after amnio. Anyway, I went to a professor of fetal maternal medicine - the best in my state - and she did a comprehensive scan to start (I was 17 weeks). She was able to tell us from the scan that in fact she was confident that the baby was fine, he had no markers for abnormality, and she said we didn't have to have the amnio unless we really wanted to. I have to say she put my mind at rest and we didn't have the amnio. I don't know if your case can be managed in the same way? I am guessing you are seeing someone who is an expert in this field?

I know I haven't experienced the loss that you did, but I do understand to a degree, how worrying this time is for you. We got our news at 12 weeks and had to wait until 17 weeks before we felt confident about the health of our boy.Those five weeks were torturous. I do hope you are able to relax sometimes and are able to talk to someone about it. And of course we are here to listen too.

Isadorable, if AF isn't here, you must test again! I hope you get a lovely bfp. Are you sure about your ovulation date? If AF doesn't turn up after 17 dpo, and you know your O date, then it is looking good...

Happy Birthday gum x . Sounds like you had a relaxing day yesterday and great that you managed to fit in some SWI also! Age is just a number and your chances are not much different this month to last.
Diege you must be busy with all the birthdays! It must be difficult when you're still recovering from your surgery and looking after a new born, don't overdo things! x
Mozza sorry you're going through such a difficult time regarding testing, it is a dilemma knowing what to do. When would you have the CVS if you were having it? Parenting a teenagers isn't all bad, especially if it's your own teenager, in fact they can be quite endearing sometimes!
Isadorable how many dpo are you now? Fingers crossed for you!
Welcome "Zen" !
Hi to CaliBee, Jass, notsoold and everyone else.
How are you doing green ,hope you're feeling ok!
Could have had a lie in this morning but puppy is STILL adjusting to the hour change and was barking at 6 am to go out for a wee and have breakfast. Grrr!!!

Mozart, what about OSCAR test or the test which measures several blood markers and combines that with ultrasound markers - done within weeks 12-14? It may have different name in different places, I believe OSCAR is American, also used in Nordic countries. But sure it is available in the whole developed world? That would give you peace about chromosomal issues and obvious malformations. The CMV, in my humble opinion, is not worth the amnio, because even if it is present in the amniotic fluid, it does not mean your baby has something wrong with it. So, you cannot terminate because of the CMV in amniotic fluid, and if not, why take the risk? On the other hand, and OSCAR test could tell you with certainty that nothing is wrong genetically or sth is wrong genetically, then you at least know that you have to decide one way or another. If the baby has Edwards or Down or sth, you know it has it, unlike with CMV test results where no final information will result. Then you can consider with husband what to do. Personally, I know I would terminate, especially with Edwards, as that is so sad to go to bitter end afterwards. With Down, I probably will think I would be burdening the siblings for the time I am gone and terminate as well, bu that's me. I have a terrible example close by - one of my neighbors has a blind husband and a daughter with severe mental retardation (about 40yo now). The poor mother has been walking the streets for last 37 years with husband held by one hand and daughter by the other and getting more and more small, grey and tired.... It is terrible to see, even if I know they have two healthy daughters as well, and the husband, even if he seems to be a burden outside does a lot at home and is a nice old man. Nevertheless , this has made me certain that I would terminate in such a situation. Sorry I am rambling....

I would like some advice on how to avoid becoming obsessed with TTC. I was relaxed about it for ages (have 3 DC), then became more concerned after years of not using BC. Then DH had health problems so we put it off for a while, then I had an MC summer 2012 (been reading this thread ever since) and since then have become more obsessed every month.

Gum, that does sound like a lovely day!

Zen, I know it is difficult when you try so hard and the prize is still eluding you. And,particularly after a miscarriage, I felt that the only thing that could make me feel better would be to have a take home baby. The truth is, like any grief, it does lessen over time, and now I no longer feel such desolate desperation.

As for not becoming obsessed, I doubt I am someone to give advice but however it may appear on this thread, I am not obsessed with it in real life, and carry on as normal. I do have pangs of envy, sadness,frustration etc when I see pregnant women and new babies, but it doesn't last long.

This is what I do to try and quell the obsession, but it is just me: spend less time searching the net for answers- although there are some good ideas, sometimes reading about others struggles and successes doesn't help. Sometimes it does, but too much can drive the obsession.

Realise that you have done whatever you can and the situation is out of your control. For me, that has meant a few things: I have seen my doctor and requested a bunch of testing. I got the results for those tests, then decided the results don't really make a lot of difference anyway I take my supplements, I go to acupuncture, I look after my body and know that I am doing what I can to provide a good place for a baby to grow.I chart my temperature so I can see what's going on and how my cycle has changed over the years. I find this a very valuable tool,actually. I like that I know when AF will turn up and it also feels like I am doing something productive. Having acupuncture regularly and exercising really helps to reduce stress and help me relax.

It also helps me to look at the family I have and feel grateful. I am lucky to have had my DS at the age of 41 after a vasectomy reversal, after 3 years of asking my DH to please change his mind. To me that is a series of miracles - the fact he changed his mind, the fact that I got pregnant, that my DS is healthy.

I also ask myself what is the worst thing about not having another child? It means I may have to wait a very long time until I hold a newborn that belongs to our family (grandchildren), but I am sure it will happen eventually, so my arms won't always be empty. It also means that I didn't get what I wanted: to complete the family I have imagined: 6 children around my table. It is my dream, but I realise that having 5 is okay too, not just okay, but bloody amazing

Everyone has to find their own way of coping. TTC is very hard when you have been doing it for a long time. It helps to have someone to talk to about it. I talk to my Acupuncturist (she's wonderful, more like a mother figure than a health worker), and I talk to this thread. It has helped me immensely to unburden on here as I can't speak to DH about any of it really.

I had a lovely birthday, thanks everyone. So, it isn't so bad being 47. I went down to the sheltered grassed beach near here with friends who have young children and the kids had a ball for a couple of hours. It was sunny and warm and I had my first swim in the ocean this season. Bliss! But a little bit cold. Sitting in the sun made me feel the promise of summer, which will be lovely!

I still haven't had a + opk. Do you think Vitex would delay it a bit? My temperature went up a little bit this morning, but I don't know think it's enough to signal ovulation. I guess the SWI will continue for a bit longer...

Hi everyone,

I hope its okay to come and join you ladies. I turned 40 this September and will be having my IUD removed on Wednesday this week. TTC#1.

LO

Thanks so much for that, Gum. It's true googling things does not help! I keep searching for "43 and pregnant". I have done it on the MN search, too. I always think, "Focus on the kids you have" and my obsessive times do tend to become my more attentive ones. It's just the adoration of babies is so addictive. DH thinks we would be tempting fate to try again. Also, there is an ever- widening age gap between the DC. On another thread today, I read that a small amount of blood so early in the cycle could indicate ovulation, and we did not DTD that night, so I despair of missing another chance!

Hi everyone, just a quick wave from me! Been very busy with work, then on a training course in Barcelona last week for a few days, now trying to catch up with everything, esp having quality time with DS.

green What absolutely wonderful news for you! I am so thrilled to hear this, congratulations! Wishing you a really boring and uneventful pregnancy

gum Happy belated birthday! It sounds as if you had a lovely day!

Cali Glad to hear that you feel that they are taking good care of you and your fertility in Ireland. Nothing worse than having to worry about the care side of things on top of everything else. Fingers crossed that they can get things going for you.

Zen I second gum's suggestions, but if you re-read your last post asking about how not to become obsessed with ttc, you might also see another answer for this - stop coming to the ttc threads on MN/other websites.
Please don't get the wrong idea - I am a big fan of this thread here, the ladies have given me so much support, help and understanding ever since I joined (and I do hope that I have been maybe able to return some of the kindness that was shown to me!). But - this is a ttc thread, so (mostly) all we talk about is ttc. As are the other threads in the MN Conception section. So there is a slight danger that one can become too engrossed in it all, if you're not careful. So if you really want a break from it all, I would maybe suggest to stop reading (or maybe reduce it) for a while. Keep yourself busy, do (nice) stuff, find new projects to engage with, take a step back to get some distance and put it all in perspective... Just a suggestion - I have done this in the last few weeks, and it has really helped my to take my mind off ttc a bit.

AFM, I've just found out my results for the progesterone and AMH tests, it's (apparently) good for CD21 progesterone (49), but low for AMH (3.94). Mind you, I don't have any units (can't believe I didn't ask, I'm a scientist, ffs!).
So it confirms what I already knew/suspected - I am ovulating, but my eggs are sh**. Not sure what I am going to do with that information now, but we still have to have the appointment with the miscarriage clinic next week, where everything will be discussed (DH's blood, the scan, my CD3 and other bloods etc).
Wondering what my options are with sub-optimal eggs... Other than egg donation, which I have never considered a route I wanted to go down. But even IVF is pointless when your eggs are not great, isn't it? Not that I have given that a lot of thought, either (can you spot a 'head in the sand' theme here...). Think I really need to sit down with DH and have a good talk about ttc, I have really been avoiding this recently... Currently worried more about having to invest in more private tests and treatments, but will hopefully know more after the meeting with the consultant next week.

JBrd, IVf can - and does - work for the over 40s but you need to choose a clinic that employs embryo monitoring (extra £750) whereby the embryos are watched via video time lapse imaging over five days to ascertain the ones most likely to be chromasomally sound and most likely to result in a pregnancy. A good strong protocol should produce plenty of eggs (and hence embryos) even for a 40+ woman. It's all about the drugs and the clinic's willingness to take your embryos to day five blastocycts (an embryo that doesn't get to day five in the lab would never have become a baby in the womb). Embryo monitoring cuts the risk of miscarriage massively because the embryologist discards the shit ones at day three which are not likely to become babies. It worked for me

Didn't you do donor Cookie? Using a much younger woman's eggs? I suppose the monitoring still applies though whether the eggs are from an older woman or a younger one.

I know most clinics don't even like to consider doing IVF with your own eggs if AMH is low. That's because it indicates that you may be a poor responder to the drugs and may not harvest many eggs. Every clinic has its own parameters, but I think the whole reason for looking at AMH is to see how you will respond to IVF.

Jbrd, your AMH isn't that bad. Mine was practically unreadable and I got pregnant twice afterwards (however, they were not healthy eggs, though the jury is out as to why I miscarried, but I am willing to bet it was old eggs). AMH measures the "store" of eggs, rather than the quality.There's still a good chance there is a healthy one or two in there, but it is like the lotto, who knows when your numbers will come up. I guess if you want this to happen quickly then it might be worth looking into IVF. Your progesterone is great. Did your get a 3 day FSH test done too? SOme clinics look at FSH rather than AMH.

AFM, I got a + opk this morning, so hopefully ovulation won't be too far away. Then I can enjoy the tww wondering if every little twinge means something!

Yes, I used donor eggs but that is because I simply didn't have the funds to try with my own first. The clinic I used in the Czech Republic offered success rates of 55% for women over 40 using their own eggs. This is phenomenal when compared to 11% in the UK. This is because they take the embryos to day five using the embryoscope and transfer the two leading front-runners. JBrd, I just wanted to let you know that, even after the heartache of miscarriage, the best of your eggs can become babies via IVF using embryoscope. If you can afford it, go for it.

I went to the constultant today and she agreed it is best to have an amnyo to check for cmv on the 23 December.. risk of transmission to the fetus is 5-10% and if baby gets cmv risk of anomalies is again 5-10%..but I think it is worthwhile having amnyo because they can give me some treatment under experimentation while pregnant to reduce adverse effects on baby... So no cvs for me,but as jass suggested I will have a combined test tomorrow to know more about risks for trisomies 21,13 and18.. as for now the baby is fine and it’s 13weeks +3 instead of 12+4 as according to my last period.. Now I just can hope everything will be fine..

I went to the constultant today and she agreed it is best to have an amnyo to check for cmv on the 23 December.. risk of transmission to the fetus is 5-10% and if baby gets cmv risk of anomalies is again 5-10%..but I think it is worthwhile having amnyo because they can give me some treatment under experimentation while pregnant to reduce adverse effects on baby... So no cvs for me,but as jass suggested I will have a combined test tomorrow to know more about risks for trisomies 21,13 and18.. as for now the baby is fine and it’s 13weeks +3 instead of 12+4 as according to my last period.. Now I just can hope everything will be fine..

Fingers crossed mozzerella. The worry just begins with the BFP doesn't it. I hope you feel better now you have made a decision.

Happy belated birthday hopeful! Sounds like you had a lovely relaxing day.
I am so jealous of how close you are to the beach – I adore the ocean and
one day hope to live right on a beach (preferably somewhere that has a bit
of warmth – wasn’t really thinking of blackpool Enjoy your well
time SWI……