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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Legs in the air.

339 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 04/07/2013 18:41

Hello ladies Smile

A colleague of mine told me that in order to increase the chance of conception I should lie on my back with my legs up against a wall for half an hour post sex!!

Obviously I know it is silly - but I still did it last night!!! Grin

Also - this is a seriously TMI question but I do need to ask it.

After sex, how much sperm do you find leaks out of you?? Blush

Even after having my legs up for the wall for about 15 minutes I still found there was quite a lot of leakage when I stood up, haha.

I can't believe I'm talking about this!

I guess I just thought that all the sperm would be shot up to where it needed to be???

OP posts:
FourLittleDudes · 15/07/2013 22:02

Maybe he hasn't had the talk with her as he wants to conceive. Who knows. His contraception is his responsibility, a pregnancy can't be a surprise when you are having unprotected sex, no one is poking holes in condoms, or lying about taking the pill, no one is being tricked or cheated into anything.

RaRaZ · 15/07/2013 22:02

I also think that international (and, if you ask me, 'international love' seems an odd name for someone who says she can't find someone to be in love with) sounds proud of what she is doing. Is that true, International? I also suspect you're quite young. I could perhaps understand what you're doing better if you were 40+ and thinking your time was running out, but something in the way you write makes you sounds far younger. I'd guess you're in your 20s. Is that right? I'd also guess that you had your DD pretty young - late teens? Am I anywhere near the mark here? I've noticed that you've mentioned your situation, often somewhat cryptically, on several threads. It almost seems like you're inviting people to ask questions and that you enjoy the attention. I could well be wrong, but it comes across llike that to be and I find that odd.

Can someone tell me what is wrong with the idea of a sperm bank? Surely that, or adoption, is the ideal solution if you don't have a partner and are desperate for a baby... You also have the peace of mind in knowing the background and genetics of the person whose sperm you are using - more than International seems to know of the man she is sleeping with.

International Two specific evenings a week, every week? Is that when his wife is out/at work or when he's supposedly at the gym or out with the lads? Hmm Plenty of people cheat, as you said, but that doesn't make it right. Do you even know if he has kids? Sounds like an all-round messy, nasty situation to me.

Re the issue of marriage supposedly being the 'ideal', who said that? I don't think anyone is championing marriage and Christian ideals. There's a huge spectrum here. I'm not married and nor do I feel any need to be, but there's a huge difference between having a baby with my DP and tricking some random bloke I barely know into fathering my child.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 15/07/2013 22:02

And maybe that is how OP wants him to see her anyway. I get the impression this man is nothing but sperm to her and she wouldn't give a hoot if he ran for the hills.

Who cares what a child needs in its life eh?!
Who cares that every child deserves to have a daddy.

I just don't understand how she can that desperate for a baby that she is happy to sleep with someone she doesn't know and seems not to even like??

Why not just do the normal thing of waiting until you meet someone you actually want a baby with??

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 15/07/2013 22:04

I cannot begin to tell you how offensive (not the right word but it's late!)I find you telling international that the situation needs to end. It's entirely up to them what they do, them being adults and all!

yamsareyammy · 15/07/2013 22:04

internationallove985. Do you think you may have narcissism? I dont know much about it, but it is discussed on here quite a lot.
fwiw, from what I have read on here about it, no one ever says they do! It is one of the things about narcissism.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 15/07/2013 22:05

And RaRaz - I absolutely completely agree with you when you say,

"I also suspect you're quite young. I could perhaps understand what you're doing better if you were 40+ and thinking your time was running out, but something in the way you write makes you sounds far younger. I'd guess you're in your 20s. Is that right?"

OP posts:
yamsareyammy · 15/07/2013 22:07

Heck, just realised that may be a bit rude of me.
I think it was partly because you said something about" being made differently to other people, that is for sure."

valiumredhead · 15/07/2013 22:09

Narcissism?Confused she wants a baby that's all.

Look up narcissism, what on earth makes you think that?Confused

valiumredhead · 15/07/2013 22:10

I need my bed ladies, nightSmile

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 15/07/2013 22:14

I would be interested as to why she wants a baby because I wonder if it is to fill a hole within herself.

It is like when you hear a 15 year old girl saying she wants a baby because she wants something to love - when what she really means is that she wants a baby because she wants to feel needed and loved by someone.

OP posts:
yamsareyammy · 15/07/2013 22:16

Looked it up. Some seems to fit, some maybe not.

You could be right Writer.

Off to bed too.

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 13:52

International, ignore the pearl clutchers. There are very few of us on here who have conceived in the most perfect way imaginable. If your fuck buddy is not protecting himself he is fair game for becoming an accidental dad. Believe me, go on any conception thread and you will find women struggling to get pregnant in their thirties and forties who probably wish they'd got knocked up somehow, anyhow years earlier. It's a serious business this looking for Mr Right (he doesn't exist) whilst trying to smash through that glass ceiling (I found it and ended up cleaning it).

I hope you get the baby you so desire.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 16/07/2013 13:54

Nice to see people condoning this eh.

Wonder what this child will be told when its older.

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 13:59

Writer, unclutch your twin set edge-to-edge cardigan for a moment and consider this: I had a termination after a one-night stand when I was 31. I am now almost 42 and pregnant from IVF using a donor's eggs. Do you suppose I didn't 'deserve' this baby and that is why I struggled to conceive? How dare you judge a person's fitness to be a mother based on their ttc behaviour? Not everyone lives like you. Not everyone has your values. Sme people use short cuts in life. Doesn't make them sneer-worthy. Get a grip (but not of your pearls, please).

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 16/07/2013 14:01

Completely different scenario!!!

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 14:01

Makeitup, please will you list some suggestions of things I can say to my donor egg conceived child about how he/she was made? You sound like you'd have some amazing insight Hmm

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 14:06

Maybe we should all go round to Katie Price's gaff and throw insults at her for marrying someone new every year just so she can have more babies. She's a great mum, by all accounts. What's the big deal? Or is it only the rich who are allowed to manipulate their men and get away with it?

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 14:14

Who cares what a child needs in its life eh?!
Who cares that every child deserves to have a daddy.

Writer, the lesbians around here must really love you Hmm

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 16/07/2013 14:16

Juicy- it is a completely different situation? You've not been deceitful, you've been thoughtful for a start.
Why would you not be completely honest with your child.
It's quite alot different to saying 'oh yes because I lied, and TTC in such a deceitful way you haven't got a father because he's married or been tricked or ran for the hills

I'm not even doubting or criticising the fact a baby is wanted. Nor do I think that op will be a bad parent, I think she will be a fantastic parent with so much love to give actually.

This is the situations sperm banks should be used for, any woman to do that and explain to a child they had so much love to give and are wanted so much is Incredible. Something to be so proud of.

What I object to is the fact this is a situation where someone, maybe more than one is likely to get hurt. It may end up well and as a family but sadly I think the odds are against it.

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 16/07/2013 14:16

Juicy, it sounds to me like you've a huge chip on your shoulder tbh

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 14:24

No. I do not. I object to narrow-minded arseholes who refuse to believe that not all babies are conceived through pure lurve, listening to Barry White whist spooning with your 'perfect' husband. Babies are conceived through deception all the time including within stable relationships/marriages. If a man is stupid enough to be fucking around without a condom he has no right to be outraged when a woman rocks up with his baby in her arms.

There are women deceiving their men specifically to get pregnant all over the world and it has been like that forever.

valiumredhead · 16/07/2013 14:25
OhBuggerMe · 16/07/2013 14:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

KeepTheFaithBaby · 16/07/2013 14:40

My biggest concern for you international is about STIs - what if instead of getting pregnant you get chlamydia and end up infertile?

(bugs its not the OP that's got the FWB but another poster)

JuicyFatSteak · 16/07/2013 14:44

Yes, 'tis true that these types of men (and women) are susceptible to STDs. It's a difficult one because insisting on condoms isn't going to get you a baby. Sperm banks are a great option.