Waiting to ttc.... 2nd slightly pointless thread!

[Leafmould]

BFP's
Loveyouforevermybaby , OP, due August.
amiready
Winterpansy , due beginning January
Possibly some more, including Bridget and the hairy brigands , but we need people to report back with these details!

April
Zen nudist age 34 ttc #2 April/may?
caramal ttc#2 hopefully April.
orbis non sufficit age 35 ttc#1 April
horseygirl1 ttc#2
moominlike age 32 ttc#1
Frizz1986 ttc#1
duddlepuck
MrsHuxtable , age 29, ttc#2 April
Maybe again ttc#3
Fairy pants ttc#3
Johnand kymberley ttc#1

May
definately sometime age 30 ttc#1 May.
toomuchlaptop age 36 ttc#2
kate Beckett ttc#1
Suddenly squeamish ttc#1 after house move.
Miss calamity , age 33 ttc#2 when oh ready.

In a few months/later in the year
sorelip ttc#2
labourgirl
Ginger and cocoa , ttc#1 when dh ready
Pizza queen ttc#2 when dp ready

June
popsicle1984 age 28 ttc#1

July
painted cat age 22 ttc #1
iwish age 27 ttc#2

August
part1 ttc#2
Tranquilitybaby ttc#2 on hols in Mexico!

September
Porridge with almond milk

Autumn
twojackrussellsandababy ttc#2
Jetblack61 ttc#1 after hols in Australia, age 28
Don't squeeze the tea bag ttc#1 after a wedding and a new bathroom.
Alohomora , age 31 ttc1 after wedding party in June and in time for summer baby!
Visualise a horse , ttc#2 when dc1 is 18 months

November 2013
waiting 2wait2wait

December 2013
tigerstripes

Mid 2014
thundernlightning

September2014 (or2015)
madamelebean ttc #2

End 2014
ithinkineedahug

June 2015
lollydollydrop

Indefinite or vague
mintberry
witchesbrew&biscuits ttc#2
lindamagoo 41 ttc #3
Happygolucky in oz age 29 ttc#1 when partner back in work.
leafmould age 35 ttc#3 when partner ready.....

Well, I went and did a u-turn last week! After declaring myself pill-less and saying December is the month to ttc I went back on the pill on Thursday last week. After yet more child-based discussions with the DH (and the fact sex life fell off a cliff due to me not taking the pill anymore) we decided that we just didn?t know if December was going to be the right time for us and the pressure of not taking the pill was too much. So I went back on the pill and we will review again in December. If then is the right them I?ll come off and we?ll try straight away, if it takes a while so be it. If we decided to wait a bit longer then I?ll just stay on the pill until we decide it?s right.

We do keep adding things to the list of what we want to achieve before children - that's the problem. Buying a house that needed work doing to it for one - I just don't want children and then have to sit in a half finished house with hardly any furniture because we can't afford to finish it.

I?m aware we might be waiting for ages still, but today, I?m ok with it. Ask me in another week or so and I?ll probably be freaking again!

Houses you dont mind being destroyed by rampagaing toddlers are not actually a bad thing Happy. We brought our house as dd1 came along and it needs lots of cosmetic things doing (but perfectly liveable) but we havent bothered and have not been worried about inevitable child damage to carpets/walls etc.

I wouldn't recommend having kids in a perfect house :)

You can still hang out on here though even with no deadline!

Congrats OP - good luck!

Hi everyone
Just fancied some opinions really !! Feel a bit deflated ! Looking forward to ttc in oct been with dp for 5 years and have a fab relationship , we both are desperate for kids and both 27 yrs old but wanted to wait til after our hol to try. We aren't married but have talked about it and from what dp has hinted I think we will be engaged by end if the yr . We rent but hope to buy next year also (busy year) .
I am not religious but would like to be married I feel like I might be judged for not being married before we have kids starting to think should we just wait until next year buy our house and get married first and then try ?

Hi dolly. I ttc before getting engaged and was 20 weeks pg before he proposed!

We just decided to go for ttc as you never know how long it will take.

We got married when dd1 was 14 months and she was a very cute bridesmaid!

I'm quite proud of it in a way now as my friends have had to wait ages for their dc1 by doing it the 'proper' way and I'd got dd2 in before many of their weddings...! Some people's reaction to announcing my pg and then engagement was a bit annoying but ultimately their issue not mine.

I'm not religious so that wasn't an issue.

Thanks for your reply . Was just having a bit of a wobble . If we waited to get married and buy our house it would be around two years and we are both desperately broody now . .. Financially stable and our relationship is stable . So I think we are just going to go for it in October because its what we both desperately want and you never know what life is going to throw at you .

Hi,
I am new to mumsnet!
I am at the frustrated point where me and new hubby are ready to start trying, but my implant can't be located in my arm so now I'm not sure when we will be able to actively start trying!
I have had loads of issues wit implant as well which has caused it to be too painful to have sexing loss of drive!
It could be a long wait as I have a really bad feeling about this!
X

Pomme ? you?re probably right about kids wrecking things, but I?d like to at least start on the house. It needs a new kitchen and bathroom and new flooring, nothing has been done to it since it was built in 1987 and the kitchen sends shudders down my spine every-time I look at it!

Dolly ? it?s really up to you and whether you are happy to put off the house and the wedding. For me, I wanted to do it in order (no idea why but that was just my ?ideal?) and tbh I?m yet to convince DH that we are ready for children, so I think I?d be climbing the walls by now had we not got married already (been together 10 years)!

Newly ? I hope you get the implant out soon! Sounds like a nightmare really, at least you?ve got over the biggest hurdle, which seems to be getting both parties in the relationship to agree to try, so hopefully now once you?ve located the stray implant it will be plain sailing!

Well it?s like the gods are trying to tell me to wait?. There?s an election coming up in 3 weeks? time in Australia. I?ve not really been paying attention as I can?t vote and both contenders seems as bad as each other (don?t they always). On Sunday one of them announced they ?key campaign? which is to grant working women/parents 26 weeks paid maternity leave ? at their FULL salary! Currently it is 18 weeks on minimum wage, so for someone like me this means that we wouldn?t have to financially scrape by to have a baby (as me going down to min wage as the main earner would be very, very hard). Employers over here don?t give anything at all ? unlike in the UK where they usually give you something, even if it?s for 6 weeks. So, he?s not won it yet and it won?t come into effect until 1 July 2015 ? but it might just be the excuse we have been looking for to postpone things!

Dolly, 48% of babies were born last year to unmarried mothers in the UK. It's the norm now I reckon.

Happygolucky, if your looking for an excuse.... Then wait a bit praps. There is never a right time they say but there is wrong times and if your not ready that's totally fine. It would be shit to regret it.

Did anyone read the "what do you regret about having kids" thread? It scared me to realise some people are obsessed with becoming a mother.... Then they regret it. Scary.

My update;
Still off hormonal contraception, DH getting more and more annoyed with condoms (what a terrible shame . He so nearly did not use one last time and afterwards said "I can't wait til we move into our new place so we can stop using these" SCORE.
Offer on house accepted, now sorting out mortgage, etc. fingers crossed

Budda that's great news about DH! Mine was the same but we went backwards rather than forwards lol!

Great news about the house too, hope everything goes smoothly.

I wish I had a crystal ball, there's always going to be a reason "why not". Someone actually said to me at the weekend they wished they didn't want children, life would be so much easier & they'd have a great life with more freedom & money - but deep down they knew they wanted to be a mother.... I feel a bit like that at the moment!

Where is that regret thread Budda? I've done a search but nothing's coming up.

Hi ladies! Had to breathe a sigh of relief at this thread - we've decided to ttc #2 from December 2014, and I'm counting down the months! Simply cannot wait! We have decides to wait until then in the hope that, since we have only just moved in together after being together for a number of years, our finances would be more stable, and also various reasons connected to my job.

The only thing that worries me is that I'll be 30 then, almost 31, and I'm terrified that I'm leaving it too late, as we'd like number 3 in the future. My fears are probably completely irrational!

Glad to meet all you ladies, and good luck who are ttc sooner rather than later! x

Thanks for your reply's. Marriage has never been a big thing to me until about the last year of our relationship (both parents divorced twice) . But I know how much my dp wants children as do I so I think it would be a shame to rush a wedding just for that point , when we could wait and have what we wanted. Also we don't know how long it may take us to concieve anyway?
I have read the aibu to regret having children thread too . I hope everyone doesn't feel that way.

Hi cinnamonsummer , I know how you feel counting down the days . I am counting down the days until October . 2 more periods to go. Also started taking folic acid so feels like I'm doing something.

I love having children but you've got to accept the mum you are (took me a while). Now I have accepted that I am a mum that has to do some work to stay sane, thinks nursery is great, is not over bothered about bf, loves chatting to her kids and giving her kids new experiences but finds playing with plastic squeaky things worse than cleaning the plughole I'm grand :)

I'm hoping it's ok to join. I'm driving myself crazy as I;m really really really keen to start trying for a second baby.

I turned 34 recently and while I didn't have any issues with conception first time round there is a bit of a history of problems in my family so I worry.
OH wants more babies ( another 2 or 3!) but wants to wait because we are not in a great financial position. DH is working I'm a stay home mum/part time student. We are renting.

I just want to start now and see what happens.

Hi hazchem.
I know how you feel about driving yourself crazy . What have you decided to do ? Are you going to wait ?
I think the only thing keeping me going is that I haven't got long to wait now .

Hi all, is it okay for me to join?

I'm 23 and me and my DP have decided to wait to TTC until December this year. I stopped my pill in May and am currently trying to figure out my cycle properly before we get down to actively trying.

I'm so excited to start properly

Hi everyone, I am the op have NC, just popping into say I gave birth to ds2 2 weeks ago . Good luck to all the other waiting to concievers!

Congratulations op :)

I can't find that regret thread now :/

Yesterday dh bought me a book on baby-gami, the art of baby wrapping and cute. www.amazon.co.uk/Baby-gami-Beginners-Andrea-Cornell-Sarvady/dp/0811847640

Me again. DH keeps talking about babies.... He's coming around quick! Friend and her baby visiting on Saturday, hoping that will help.

I think he is going to get more and more annoyed with condoms the more time goes on.... What a shame.

Can I join. Have got a 2.5 DD and I'm eagerly awaiting TTC In January. We can't afford 2 in preschool childcare , have got to go to Canada in June to visit IL ( but hopefully will be going up duffed) and wanted to avoid a summer baby. DD was unplanned so have never TTC before. Can't wait

Congratulations, haddock ! Wonderful news.... Hope your dp has forgotten all about wanting a September baby!

Bump for autumn star

Can I join? Waiting till January 2014. Currently in the process of buying a house (so skint) and it wont be built until Feb. Am 28 married and we have no DC.

Hello all and congratulations haddock

Glad to see the waiting threads are still going. I used to post on them when I first joined MN but have avoided the conception board for a while. DH has been working away for the last couple of months and I could really do with venting to people who understand where I'm coming from, hope you don't mind.

A brief backstory. I'm 32, DH is 41 and we are waiting as DH has a severe case of fear of fatherhood. We've spent the last couple of years working on removing the practical barriers that DH felt got in the way of TTC. He left a high pressure job and set up his own business which so far has been very successful, we planned to move out of our tiny 1 bed flat in London and pay off our debt etc.

We moved to a 4 bed house near the coast 6 month ago (we've let our flat out and are renting for now whilst we decide where to buy), we're debt free, all the other barriers have disappeared, so there was just the fear aspect left to deal with. Great!

In the last couple of months everything has changed. DH has found out he's about to lose his biggest contract that made up almost 50% of his income. But on the other hand I've been presented with an amazing opportunity that will end up being life changing financially. I'm talking 6 figure salary within the next 5 years, the potential for a lump sum that will allow us to buy a house outright and the role would be flexible enough to fit around a family. So an opportunity that really is too good to miss. Getting pregnant too soon could cause problems, but for the benefits the job would bring I could cope with delaying TTC.

I went to see my GP recently to discuss my incredibly painful periods. He suspected fibroids or endometriosis and sent me for a scan. No fibroids were found but they did find a cyst on my ovary and other signs that point to endo. It can't be confirmed without surgery but now I'm pretty bloody terrified about the potential affect on my fertility. Talking to my GP, IF it is endo and IF that is the cause of the cyst it would put me in the moderate to severe category. He also said the general advice to women with endo who want a family is to start trying ASAP and that the best chance of falling pregnant is within 12 months of surgery. I know I don't have an actual diagnosis yet and consulting Dr Google is rarely a good idea. But it's got to be said, the fertility stats for moderate to severe endo really don't look good.

It's so frustrating not having DH here to discuss it all with. He knows it might be endo and that it might affect fertility but that is the full extent of his knowledge at the moment. It's just not a conversation we can have during a 10 minute phone all every couple of days. I've no idea how he might react to being told we might need to TTC pretty much straight away and I've always done my best to avoid forcing him to decide he's ready. And if we do need to stop waiting and start trying and I somehow manage to get pregnant fairly quickly I'm really concerned about the effect it will have on my soon to be new job. I really did think we were so close to having everything sorted.