The Elderberry Sausage Wangers (thread 5) and the hunt for immaculate conception - a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

[Bunnygirlie]

Our new home, hope we will all be very unhappy here and leave soon ;-)

Not at all unreasonable qax if it helps you stay sane

Hi Tallyra sorry you're having such a hard time, puts my moaning and whinging in perspective . Surely after 3 the doctors would have to take you seriously, that's the number always quoted on the nhs sites as being unusual, while one or two is horribly 'normal'. Hope you can get some answers or at the very least some support and close monitoring for your next BFP.
Come sit on the elderberry sofa, it's lovely in here. Have a .

Hi girls, thanks for such a lovely welcome.

Bunny it seems that everyone around me has been having babies since I started trying. (counts up in head - at least 7 in the past year, and most of my friends have at least 1, some are up to 3 by now). I love all their kids and my 5 year old neighbour's twins are the most charming lovely and noisy and annoying little people in the world. I wouldn't be able to stay away, but every now and again it just hits REALLY hard.
A friend who has also been ttc for ages just announced 16weeks, and I'm really torn - outwardly over the moon for her but inwardly my heart is broken.

treefrog They did send my latest 'product of conception' (horrible name for it) for testing and found a random genetic mutation, told us it wasn't anything to do with us and we should be fine and left it at that. No-one said anything about other things they could do until the other week when I went in for a vaccination to go overseas, and the nurse said 'haven't you had any swabs done? There could be a simple infection stopping it developing'. I nearly screamed! Why hasn't anyone mentioned this??

Anyway, so I'm going in for swabs next week, with a doctors appointment the week after to not only talk about that but also how to manage my Hyperemesis which has hospitalised me during each of the previous pregnancies too. Not ttc this month as want to get tests done without worrying. I hope they actually start following things up soon. I'm going to go mad if i have yet another HG mmc.

hey tally - sorry to hear your ttc woes - they sound similar to mine (4mmc). do you know what tests you are getting? Are you going to try and get a referral to a specialist mc clinic? I've got an appointment on 30 April, I've had some tests, but want to check if there are any more I should have!

Hi Mavis, what tests have you had so far? I don't actually know anything about what I can ask for yet. Having a vaginal swab to test for whatever might be stopping things, but that's just on the suggestion from the nurse. I don't know if there's a mc clinic nearby - always found the doctors very unhelpful so far. I have no idea what the Early Pregnancy unit even does - the only times I've been there are for the erpcs and to beg them to refer me for counselling after the first one knocked me for six. Trying to get a scan at 8 weeks during my 3rd mc was a nightmare - apparently they don't do 'reassurance' scans... ummmm.... it's not reassurance, it's checking if I have something dead inside me....

Do you know names of any tests so I can research a bit more? I'm hesitant to use Dr Google but if I can even make a list of possibilities and cross them off at the appointment it might push the doctors in the right direction.

tally - the tests I had after 3 mmc were a couple of years ago, so I'm not sure of the details - I think they took 2 blood tests - one to check for blood clotting and thyroid problems and one to test for chromosome problems and I had an ultrasound to check for any physical problems. These found that I have a chromosome issue that may or may not be related to my mmcs - hence why I'm going back for more tests to make sure there are no secondary causes. There are other tests I've read about on dr google to do with your immune system which I might go for too - but I think they are only available privately and not on nhs. If you do want to do some research this leaflet outlines the tests www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Investigations-following-rec-misc-T-Oct-10.pdf

I know what you mean re EPUs too - I've never managed to get a 'reassurance' scan despite my history - grrr

Hello! Please can I join you? Seems lovely and friendly in here! I bring
I'm 31, on cycle 5 and quite freaked out by how fast 5 months have gone. Yikes.
Have used OPK sticks the last couple o'months but have yet to commit to temping...
It'll be nice to natter on here as I don't really talk about TTC to anyone - especially as the world and its cat seems to be pg at the moment

Hiya Tally and Powder! Come join us on the conceptioin couch. (Kind of like the casting couch, but without sketchy directors and potential million-pound paychecks)

Tally what a tough time for you & your family. I can't believe you've been made to fight so hard for comprehensive care. Dr Google can be nightmare-inducing but I think you're right to come up with a list of tests to discuss, and a plan for going forward.

Powder I haven't committed to temping yet either, even though there's a brand-new thermometer in my bedside table. Saving it for the next TTC cycle, should there be one (Please God no!!).

thankfully nobody in my immediate circle is preg at the mo; a SIL's SIL has just had a baby through IVF after years of trying, and for a few weeks I had to remind myself that she hadn't taken the last baby chit sometimes it seems like there's only a certain number, and everyone else having one/two/five decreases my odds of having any. My brain knows that's silly, but it takes my heart a day or two to catch up.

Mavis/Navis hey cycle buddy, how's your 2ww chugging along?

hey powder - I haven't started temping yet either...thinking about it though if I don't get any results in the next couple of months - worried it might make me obsess a bit too much though

hey sid - the 2ww is creeping along slowly...trying to keep busy to distract myself - how're you?

yep fear of obsessing more is what's holding me back on temping too. Also kind of terrified to call for results on my CD3 bloodwork.

2ww creeping here too; this week has been one hassle after another, and today have realized my poor doggie has been weeing in the house when left alone. He seems anxious and sometimes shakes; if I didn't know better I'd wonder if he were TTC too. Feel really guilty over it all.

To top it off my SD is going through an obnoxious phase, aimed at me mostly as my DH completely ignores it. She's having some incontinence issues herself and I dread to think what this weekend with them will be like.

On the plus side all of this is taking my mind off the 2ww.

Welcome Tally and Powder. The Elderberries are expanding at an alarming rate - love it!
Ive been temping for about 3 months now and don't think it makes me obsess ( well no more than normal anyway!). If anything it's refreshing to know exactly when OV has happened as once the temp goes up its pretty much game over and you can knock shag week on the head!

Ditto with temping actually making me obsess less. Gives me some sort of control, feeling like I'm collecting evidence that might be useful when we go to the fertility clinic. Also means when I know I've ovulated we don't have to get stressed about dtd every other night if we're not in the mood or too tired. Because of my irregular cycles if I didn't temp I'd have no idea of my af/bfp date each month. Before I started temping I had a 37 day cycle when the previous cycle had been 24 days. I spent 13 days thinking I must be pg as I still wasn't on, so knowing when af is due removes a lot of potential stress for me as my LP is fairly predictable even if my O or cycle length isn't.

DP was asking about how long a friend of mine had been trying before she got pg and I said they weren't trying at the time it was a happy accident (they weren't ready to try after her mc). He said 'you mean some people still have sex for fun?!'

Dear March, please bring me my BFP this month, if I don't get one soon I think I may lose the plot!!!!!

Happy March!

Hello to Tally & Powder!

So so sorry to hear about those of you who have had mcs / mmcs. It's absolutely horrible how hard it is for people to get proper medical support. I also can't believe that 2 mcs are just dismissed as 'normal'. Maybe very veryearly mcs, or chemical pregnancies, but even then.

On a lighter note, I am so very glad it is Friday. Am definitely drinking some wine tonight (don't drink often at all, but have really fancied a glass all week!), and have also bought some blue cheese to enjoy! Perhaps I will share it with all my sofa buddies! It's getting a bit cramped on there so if I can get someone drunk enough to fall unconscious onto the floor that will ease the congestion somewhat!

Happy march indeed and hello holiday !!! (sorry to gloat just so relieved after a hellish couple of wks at work)

Talking of temping, I bought one and just haven't the willpower to grab the thermometer as soon as alarm goes off...so have been sticking it in armpit whilst on loo just before i get in the shower. Problem is the thermometer seems to get bored and beeps at ridiculously low temps like 35.17 (this morn)
Have I got a duff thermometer? Am I being an idiot and doing it wrong? Would last thing at night be an acceptable time to test??

When I read about it before starting it said it needed to be the basal body temperature, ie as soon as you've woken up before you move around, and that under your tongue is the best way. I have my thermometer by my phone and as soon as the alarm goes off I reach out and put it in my mouth and stay lying down until it beeps. Then I enter the temp in the app on my phone. It's like my snooze button! Only took a few days for it to become routine and now I don't even have to think about it.

Thanks barking. Will try and be more organised... What's typical for one's basal body temp?

hello :waves: room for a little one?
I've come to find some moral support for this TTC malarky please! Hands out cake...

I'm 33, came off BCP in August 2012 TTC #1 and so far still on cycle 1...? I never thought I'd be so desperate to see AF in my life, lol but I am!

I started charting in January to give me some sanity in the empty wastelands of nothing and try and work out what the heck is going on. So far not a lot it appears. I've also been having acupuncture since mid January to see if that will kick start things. My acupuncture lady is lovely and a godsend. I look forward to going so much.

In contrast my GP is frustrating and appears not to really give a toss. So far I've had basic blood tests like glucose, thyroid, white cell etc. which have all come back normal. She then prodded my stomach, asked if anyone has ever told me I'd got cystic kidney's, liver or ovaries, shrugged when I said no, told me to keep taking folic acid about 3 times and told me to come back in 6 months if I still haven't have had a period. So helpful, rollseyes!

Will you have me please?!

aqua they say 37 is average but personally mine are never that high and hover around 36.1 - except last week when I had flu and impressed myself with 39.4!

Tally and powder - HELLO!!!

Bunny I bought some guaifenesin cough medicine last cycle but then stopped as felt like I was substance abusing or something. I've also been drinking raspberry leaf even though I don't believe it will work for a second

Aqua mine have been in their 35s this week.

Hello cherry I'm sorry things have been taking a while. I tried acupuncture the other day but didn't feel I got a lot from it, maybe I should try someone else?

Thanks for the lovely welcome everyone.

You ladies have given me the kick up the bum to start temping next cycle if I don't produce a BFP this time, I have only heard good things about it - and it'd be nice to have some evidence - of anything really!

Ooh Soph what does raspberry leaf tea do?

cherry I've nothing constructive to offer in my ignorance but I'm sorry to hear you're having such a frustrating time!

yeah, what is raspberry leaf tea supposed to do???

Raspberry leaf tea? Yep, that's another one that I can add to the list of 'things that I have tried that made absolutely no difference whatsoever'! I think my body is just completely resistant to anything that might remotely boost my chances of getting a BFP.

Hello Cherry! Hope AF turns up for you soon; what a strange thing to have to say on a TTC thread, but totally understand why you want to see one!

Aqua, my temperatures tend to hang around in the low 36 region, occasionally dipping to 35.9 something. After ovulation, I tend to go up to 36.4 something on the first day, and the highest it climbs is usually around 36.7. You'll never have any joy doing it in the evening. Before bed, I'm often sticking the thermometer in my mouth for shits and giggles out of curiosity and the temps are completely unpredictable! It's got to be absolutely as soon as you wake up (and, to be honest, I wouldn't even say I'm awake when I do it...I usually fall back asleep before the beeps go off, and then wake up 45 mins later with the the thermometer still in my mouth... !)

mavis and powder something to do with strengthening your uterus although did read that some people avoid it in the 2 week wait due to potential uterus contractions. Its probaly just a load of bollocks like everything I seem to do. I've only not given up on it as I kinda like it..

boodle I'm imagining you choking on your thermometer lol