The ongoing search for BFPs now leads the BESH to the barren polar wastes, in the footsteps of Scott, Shackleton and Franklin.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Pack those reindeer sleeping bags, huskies and skis - we're off to the Antarctic to look for our BFPs. Unlike Scott, we'll eat the poniez if necessary (topical joke). Let's huddle together through the Antarctic night and we'll try not to kidnap one of the emperor penguin toddlers for our very own. Bring on blizzards, pack ice, shipwreck, attacking leopard seals, voyages across the Southern Ocean in rowing boats and hazardous traverses of South Georgia in search of rescue - just like the Shackleton expedition, NO BESH WILL BE LEFT BEHIND.

(do I win the prize for most random fred ever?)

[Northey]

You won't do it wrong, aries. You are intelligent and courageous and will not do it wrong. I really share your pain on the travel thing. Going back and forth from Wales to Oxford by public transport has been hellish, and probably adds up to half the cost of a private cycle, FFS. But you will make it work, even if it means you dropping MrA at work then having the car, or him dropping you off at 7am and you drinking decaf coffee and reading historical fiction for 9 hours until he can pick you up again (with a brief and thrilling interlude of pant removal in the middle). And I honestly don't think it will hurt that much. If you can cope with a smear, you can cope with the fanjo-fiddling that goes with this. And the stabbing, well, that really reminded me of pulling off a plaster - same level of ouchiness, and same sort of moment of resolve-stiffening beforehand. Tell them no students. They won't argue. The students will probably adore you for the gift of 5 mins to have a wee and a flapjack. The success and failure fears, well, yes. I am still struggling with those myself. Along with terror and fury at the idea that my sister might conceive (I was glad that she had an irregular smear and got told to abstain till after colposcopy - how mentally evil is that?).

How is your father doing at the moment? Is he still in hospital or had he come home?

[Northey]

Sorry - bit of a stream of consciousness there.

Hi mavis. Nice boozing. Well done.

frankellyfrank, it sounds like home is the best place for you at the moment. All just horrid :( Will the clinic talk things through with you?

[maamalady]

nav, there's a reason the BESHtionnaire involves gin! I refuse to give it up - I've got enough TTC shit to deal with, I'm not doing it without my gin. Though I have decided to cut back and only have a drink on a Friday night, just so that it looks better when we have to fill out the IVF paperwork.

Has everyone seen the new NICE guidelines for IVF thread? It's quite upsetting.

Frank, still thinking of you

[navis176]

ah good, I am in sensible company

drizz - the row is sorted, I think, I still feel a bit uneasy...we've just been spending far too much time together and I'm sure if we give each other a bit of space it'll be ok

rie - I'm glad lots of people here have lots of fab, first-hand advice for you, all I can do is chuck you penguins and huskies...

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

I think that thread might go tits up. It was going so well, too. Don't be upset, lovely draf.

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Norf. Father is home now, but is completely changed. We are having to accept that this is him now: this is his life. The old dad we knew is gone.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

:( aries that is just horrible. Life can be a bit much sometimes. I would send some XXXXs but that might get me chucked out.

I looked at the IVF fred earlier and everyone was playing nicely. No longer, in that case I won't look. Sorry it upset you draf.

Alcohol and running got me diffed (with a bit of SO and IUI) last summer, so that is what I am aiming for this month too. The running group is so nice, that it doesn't feel all that virtuous any longer. And euro you are totally entitled a snooze on lovely padded equipment :)

[Northey]

It is upsetting, draf - the mixture some people's stories and other people's opposition is quite potent. I don't mind reasoned opposition, it's the belming fuckwits that really wind me up. I just have to hope that they are too stupid ever to get around to voting.

It happened to my grandfather, rie, and my father said it was like a bereavement, but with the added burden of it being kept fresh every time he saw him or spoke to his mother :(

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

Having read the last page of that fred, I get why you're upset draf. The entitlement and rights chat, whereas it is about desperation and frustration. Oh well. I am not wading in...

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The thing I find most disturbing on that thread, is not the wankers - sadly they are to be expected - but the number of failures people have had.

[lovesLemonDrizzleCake]

LALALALALA I can't hear you aries.

[Northey]

I know! Really pickles your positivity, doesn't it? :(

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

I think it definitely is droid now. But why are the boobs still agony? I don't get it.

Trying to summon the strength to ring the FC. I have to speak to the secretary to get the nurse to ring me back.

[maamalady]

At least the BESH are coming across as calm and reasoned, I think (unless I've skewed it with my emotional wailing) - we look a damn sight more sensible than the few frothers on there!

[EuroShagmore]

I've never seen a childless person come onto a thread like that and bang on about rights and entitlements. It's always the instadiffers who simply cannot imagine what it must be like.

rie I agree you won't do it wrong. And I didn't find it painful - the injections hurt no more than a scratch, the blood tests are blood tests, I was out for the count for egg collection and IUI/embryo trasfer are both like an extended smear. It physically isn't that bad. The only bit I struggled with physically was the side effects of the downregging drugs and I found an alternative path that suited me. Being on them was horrible but it was about 2 weeks and then I stopped them and moved on. The menkul side of things is another matter of course, but you have Team BESH and proper counsellors to help with that.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

The other thing I am stressed and glum about is the state of the house. I clean it all the time, and it is still filthy. The dust RAINS down and it's black. I have never lived in a house this dirty. We haven't even had a fire for yonks.

Perhaps I should get the chimney swept....maybe it's blowing down there. Though why that would appear in the bedrooms I don't know.

Why is my life so crap?

[EuroShagmore]

Rie I have some cycles that are out of synch. Usually my boob stop hurtng and my temp drops a day or so before Droid. Sometimes it would start out of the blue with my temps still high and boobs hurting. Given that I thought Droid was brought on by progesterone levels dropping and hurty boobs and high temps are signs of progeterone being up, I don't understand it, but it happened to me.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Thanks Euro.

Upon reflection, I think I should step away from MN and man up.

Thanks BESH and sorry for the glums.

[captainmoll]

argh just wrote a lengthy, erudite and incisive post in response to the IVF thread and then the bloody app crashed and lost it.

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Two ladies I work with just popped round for a cuppa and a hug. Bless them. It caused more sobbing, but I feel grateful I have people watching out for me.

In other news, I think I'm spotting.

[Northey]

Oh frank :( I'm sorry.

That thread...

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

I know. I'll probably hide it shortly, today is not a good day to be arguing on this subject.

[Northey]

I can't seem to leave it alone.

[Northey]

There is definitely a bit of a BESH Expeditionary Force thing going on there.

[maamalady]

Me neither, norf, I've been posting on it all day. I did report and get a post deleted when a poster was being shouty though, I've never done that before

[Northey]

What did you say?!

I am having to restrain myself from tackling dimwits who just post "I don't know what it's like to want a child so badly you'd go through ivf but I don't agree with the changes", which wins my Eye-Rolly Award For Most Pointless Contribution Ever.