Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne ) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

Hold it in :) It'll be gone once you've had a good poo.

Well, I've eaten so much that that might actually be on my evening schedule too.

Crikey! I go off to do exciting adventurous things erm going to work and nearly crashing the car for a few hours, can't ruddy keep up!

wink that's awful. When did she go in? I presume they've done an ECG and bloods and plan to do CTPA (scan to look for blood clot on her lungs)? I hope they get to the bottom of it and get her sorted soon. Not having an easy time of it your inlaws :(

drizz you make me :)

I agree, I like your wit cappy, I'm not too witty. Totally get the Emilia Fox thing. So sweet in the proper BBC P&P!

Anyhoo, I'm Faith (or variants of). 31, TTC'd for two years 8 months before finally winning a baybee in August. We had reversible fertility problems of a male variety. DH is MSB - Mr Squidgy Baybee - because he is very, erm, cuddly and when I picked it he was singing the Haribo supermix advert all the time Baybee is due 23rd April and probably legs crossed at scan a girl baybee :)

Bless his heart :(.

My Pa has been moved wards this evening. He is proper confused by it all.

Seriously, they are now encased in a 38E bra, there's room for everyone!

Yes CTPA will generally be done on office hours (not sure why) but they'll know from bloods within 12 hours if it is a heart attack. I hope you have an ok night with your FIL.

How's your Dad doing generally rierie?

Hello chaps. I am struggling to keep up it would seem and I look away for one minute and a newbie arrives. Spiffing.

For the newbie... I am one of the BESH who made miracle after a HSG and a round of Clomid after TTC for 20 months. Said miracle is 5 weeks old and feeding like he is permanently starving.

I like to pop in every now and then because so many people supported me through the process - I missed the company!

Hello all. *crawls out of secret cave carrying haul of fake shillings and several miracle babies

Super smashing congrats to you, Friendofdorothy! Well done!
And also to you, Faith. A1 prime. Top hole. I wish much health and happiness for the duration of your pregnancy and beyond. It's so good to know there's a light at the end of the (smugglers) tunnel.

Sorry about all the ills of the ILs. I've been there myself and its tough.

Faith - I challenge you to match my non-preggers 34FF's! There's something to work towards.. Everyone's welcome for a snuggle on my matronly bazoom anytime, esp once Faiths are otherwise occupied..

I should say that ttc news-wise I may be a tad dull for a bit - until the uterine mass of adventure has been properly explored, I'm not allowed to get pregs. Boring.

Does anyone here know much about make factor infertility? I sense it on the horizon, as I'm told my right ovary and uterus are tickety-boo and, as far as the consultant can tell, pose no obstacle to conceiving, so chances are dh has crap swimmers. (Fx testing next week).

After much consideration, I have chosen the code name Bald Eagle for him.

Now, what's happened to my puffins? And who's hogged all the delicious fresh cream from that little farm down the lane run by quaint, ruddy faced friendly rural types?

Clarifying confusing medical info - mysterious lump is around left side of outside of uterus. They can't decide if its a fibroid on the uterus wall (harmless, no surgery) or a dermoid cyst on the left ovary (freaky, look em up, they gave hair and sometimes TEETH, needs a laparoscopy to remove).

Either way, inside of uterus is fine, as is r ovary, therefore should be good to conceive. However, I have a short LP (9 days). Consultant isn't going to look into that until lump is sorted and SA is in for BE.

Damn. Make = male.
I'm done now.

• swigs gallon of ginger beer, throws up all over aunt fanny.

twinkle, I hope your night went ok, and your FIL coped ok. What a stressful thing for you all to have to go through.

I know abit about male factor cappy as that was our ishoo. MSB has a growth on his pituitary that screwed up his hormones leaving him low on testosterone - resulting in swimmers that went in circles (no rapids). Saw an endocrinologist, scanned his brain, found the problem. Now on meds - et voila, 8 months later, swimmers included rapids and I got diffed. Simples ok quite complex but you get the idea Have they done blood tests on him?

Moll, dermoid cysts, despite freakiness, are commoner than you might imagine. Sister had one, mother if a messy, snotty, violent adorable two year old with another on the way. Hers had hair! Maybe you can ask to keep it! Keep it as a little pet, perhaps?

Rie - I quite enjoy the freakiness of it, TBH. I'd even named it Humperdinck, but then they said it might be a boring old fibroid, and I've gone off it now. I did quite a bit of googling and realised they are not uncommon. Thanks for the news re successful diffage though. It's v reassuring.
Faith That is v interesting, thanks. BE hasn't had any tests yet; his job is super stressful and he finds it incredibly hard to put his health first and take care of himself. He has promised me he's getting the SA and bloods done this week though, so really hoping he does it. I shall probably stamp on his toes if he cops out again. It's been over a month since he got the test referrals from the docs..

Twinkle hope things are getting better with the IL's.

Hi hags/chaps!

Sorry about the possibly freaky mass moll. But a lap is okay. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Hope all the ILs had okay nights. I am sorry for the shit.

I am mightily pissed off as started spotting 10dpiui, which normally does not happen til 12dpiui and now I am thinking a) mc messed up my cycle in new mysterious ways and b) maybe squeeze in another cycle before the evaluation appointment and c) might this be the elusive implantation bleed (not that I had one when I did get diffed). GRRR. So I baked chocolate cake. And I ran in the snow and feel virtuous about that. Not feeling PMT-y and SB reported no snappy spells in the household either. So maybe I just get a few bonus days of spotting before failing this cycle...

I randomly had a massively spotty cycle just before last droid, lemonista. And I think I ectopicised a month before you miscarried. So it wouldn't be unprecedented for a BESHly womble to misbehave 5-6 months after a pregnancy loss. Obviously my optimistic thought was of implantation spotting. And that is what I hope for for you now as well :)

I want chocolate cake. My bag of jelly babies suddenly seems a bit lacking.

I'm back from my big adventure in that there London

New blood? Welcome Captain

So, we had a jolly good time - saw the Hollywood Costume exhibition, had dinner at Hawksmoor (tried to get into Rules but they didn't have any tables left), visited the Cabinet War Rooms and got last minute tickets to see Wicked I've been humming Defying Gravity ever since

Still no sign of droid so I'll be calling the clinic tomorrow.

I'm famished! Has cook left out any cold meats/cheese/bread/cake?

Have a hunk of plum cake, old thing.

When did you last POAS, out of interest?

Friday morning. Forgot to take my temp this morning and feeling a teeny bit crampy but whatever happens I'll be calling the clinic - CD blardy 74

Forgot my manners and didn't say hullo to the New Girl - hullo MollyMalone - Aunt Fanny will be most disappointed in me.

MIL had a ct scan today - again - she did indeed have a heart attack and has blood clots on both lungs. No sleep for any of us last night, though Spurs equalised at the last minute so FIL is fairly happy.

I am boiling, freezing, feel sick and in pain down the right side of my back. I think I have a UTI on top of everything else.

You know I said I was day 30 friday? Not true. I miscounted. Only day 29 today :( Deffo not diffed.

Unless you've bled, operation ironidiff is still a goer.

Hullo BESH. Have you all pumped up your tires and checked your breaks are working for today's adventure?

I am crossly heading into work. If only I had picked up my train tickets on Friday, I could have stayed at home today. But I won't have time to get them tomorrow morning, so into work I go.

Brakes! Brakes, damn it. Not breaks.