TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Oh joy I am so sorry and pissed off for you. You so deserved it to be your turn.

I totally can relate to how you are feeling right now but remember that even with quite high success stats some people will be in the minority. Unfortunately this time it was you [not fair]. However statistically, next time you have another go at IVF, the odds have to be in your favour. Remember also that you produced blastos. Not many women have such good eggs that the embies get to that stage. Take heart that you are in better fertility shape than you are feeling right now.

I have very clumsily written what is going round my head. I just want you to realise that you and Roy will get there, not least because you are such a determined and tenacious lady

I echo what rabbits has said. If you need to speak to anyone, anytime, PM me and my telephone number and an ear is there.

XXX

Also art I wanted to say congrats on your scan. It is lovely when you pop back on. I miss you!

Good point pout, about getting to blasto. Everything I read says that bodes well for future attempts.

I echo rabbits, nelly, pout if you want a rl chat or shoulder to cry on. I might be physically far away but I'm skypable.

joy I am so, so sorry that this cycle didn't work out for you. You will get your baby one day. We all will.

As others have said, you produced eggs, they fertilised, they got to blasto. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but there were a lot of positives in this process (just not the one key positive, obviously). I've read a lot that IVF needs to be seen as a three cycle process. This was a battle, not the war. You will win that.

You can do natural cycles one after the other (if your head can withstand it). I was planning to do alternate cycles, but I've just realised that would probably mean only taking eggs from one ovary, the one that ovulates a bit later. So it might be best to mix it up. The plan is to do three cycles and possibly the IUI we paid for last year over the next 6 months. I will be away for work in April, probably around the time that would be EC, so we will probably take a break then (I'll be back in Critter's neck of the woods ). I'll see how I feel at the end of this cycle as to whether we jump straight into another one. I had expected (and you have confirmed) that the IVF 2ww can be really, really tough. BTW, the BESH call the 2ww 2woofling - two weeks of obsessive f88king lunacy - which I think sums it up nicely.

I didn't have internet today, joy I just read, I'm so sorry. It has all been said but I feel terrible for you. Keep strong.

art congrats on your scan. I miss you here.

I love what euro says about winning the war, not the battle. We have all been in this for the long haul, it's true, but we will all get there. By hook or by crook. joy, everyone else has spoken much more eloquently than I could in my early morning phone post. One other thing you said about coming down off the injections and bloods - I do think that makes it all even worse. Your body is exhausted and on a rollercoaster of hormones, on the downswing. After my cancelled injectables cycle, the closest I have got to IVF, I felt awful, awful. It was a really low point. The chemicals in your body are making you feel even worse. You are in the eye of the storm right now and it will get better.

mrsd, you have been incredibly brave with your lap. I really am just blown away by how you've handled the situation. I really hope you have some good luck and good news soon.

euro yay that you're coming back to my hood! PM me when you have details. The red carpet will be rolled out - would be amazing to see you again. I love the BESH 2ww terminology. Very apt.

art how lovely to have you back and yippee for a 12 week scan. I know that must be an enormous relief for you and I am so glad. It sounds amazing. And hurrah for finding another Billy Collins fan! He taught me for four days in a morning workshop with ten other people - it was heaven, he's just as charming and self-deprecatingly funny as you'd expect.

pout, rabbit and other crafty ladies - I went to a needlepoint shop in Florida and thought of you all. It was really fun - felt like being a kid again!

Sorry to have been so sporadic in my posts recently. My job has got really busy again and there's been nothing doing in my TTC adventures. But I am reading and thinking of everyone and really hoping that this hard road ends for us all soon.

I don't think I have said thanks to everyone for the welcome backs and the nice words about our photos etc. and for those who said it felt like we were away for ages ... We were

Art my goodness what amazing news about the scan. I literally cannot imagine what that would feel like.

Mrsden hooray for a clean and shiny womb. Hope you feel better soon. Onwards and upwards to your BFP.

Buzzy I will be watching your DE journey with interest. Well done for making such a non- dramatic decision.

More later. More hand holds to joy

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry Joy.

I feel heart broken for you and hope you are taking it easy. This is such a gut wrenchingly difficult time but you will get through it. As others said, you will get there, we will all get there. Hugs to you.

Thank you Pout and doll, what a lovely thing to say, it's nice to be missed

FWIW I haven't been AWOL because I'm not interested, I've still been reading and keeping up with everyone, just been struggling with work stuff mainly. I have basically taken too much work on in an attempt to earn as much as I can before I am forced to stop by agonising pain and a head emerging from my fanjo . I definitely haven't buggered off to some floaty technicolour pregnant world, and I know the other grads haven't either - I am as anxious as ever, knowing how far there still is to go and hyper-conscious of how much could still go wrong. I guess I just feel like I'm butting in on this thread when I'm not sharing the experiences any more, even though I know how it feels, and tbh I feel a weird and illogical sense of guilt that IVF worked for me when it really shouldn't have, and it didn't work for other people when it definitely should have been their turn. I mean, I know there isn't a finite number of babies to go round, but that's just not fair, is it? Of all the cycles to succeed, my long protocol bargain-basement NHS-style effort shouldn't logically have been the one. I do feel incredibly lucky but luck is really all it is. You will all get there. Euro and Pout I definitely always thought I would be the last one on here as tumbleweed floated through the corners of the thread and into my vacant womb. If it can happen for me it can happen for any one of you, and it will. You are all amazing

Critter this is my favourite Billy Collins poem. I just love it

just popping in quickly to say joy I truly am so so sorry it didn't work this time for you, big hugs we are all here for you

nelly we had very little options so had to go with the best one we had, we are meeting with a friend to discuss adoption as she has just done so. I feel I'll nee to know that something is in place if my IVF doesn't work in May

Oh joy I'm so so sorry. It's so fucking unfair. I nearly cried when I read your post, partly cos I have pmt and partly as I was so sad for you. You are not a failure and to me it sounded like you responded really well to this cycle. In fact I read that if embies fail after day 3, it's more likely to be something to do with sperm quality, as the sperm takes over then. Hopefully the follow up appt will be able to give you some answers. And remember it is a numbers game. It's just shitty that it's such an expensive lottery. Look after yourself and you will start to feel better, I promise. I hope Roy is ok. If it's any comfort I found my 2nd cycle and the bfn easier. I think I was kind of prepared for it. I echo what everyone has said about lending an ear in rl if you need to chat. Distractions may well help- they did for me the 2nd cycle but after the 1st I just felt bloody miserable despite the nice things I was doing, although the devils disease cystitis didn't help. I know what you mean about lack of leave and money. Do you feel up to a meet up in a few weeks? Would that give you something to look forward to cos meeting me is such a treat... ?!

And artemis please please don't feel you are butting in and no feeling guilty! You are our shining example that ivf can work and it's so lovely to hear how things are progressing for you. It's all just a bloody numbers game and this Fred reflects that really ivf is more likely to be unsuccessful than to work sadly. Personally I love having you about and your posts always make me smile. On many other Freds the pregnant ladies hang about, so please keep butting in!

Such great news about the scan and ickle baby shaped baby. I hope it feels real now and that some of the anxiety disappears. Enjoy it lady!

Waves to everyone else. I'm off to drink some booze in the hope it 'll bring af on. 2woofling is a bloody amazing euro. Am I allowed to steal other Fred's words?!

Oh bloody hell joy I was so hoping for first time success for you. There really is nothing I can say any better than all that's been said before but try to let yourself off the hook and recognise that this is an absolutely massive anti climax and it is completely natural to feel as you do. A bit of time and some perspective and you'll know that the fat lady hasn't even started warming up, let alone started to sing xxxx

Oh, and on a more lighthearted note I offer some haggis neeps and tatties to the thread - honestly tis lovely. Happy Rabbie Burns day [bsmile].

gin hope your plan works. At least you are not on LP. Waiting for (of course, late) period while downregging was a massive drag. I have a scan tomorrow, Dr says he is expecting around the same results with this round as with the last. Stimming feels different to me though. Will see what's up tomorrow. Currently using the ipad to block the face of injecting Ken.

Joy - aw sweetheart, I am very sorry. Its all so upsetting and infuriating. Its great that you are in the crying phase now as you will move on faster than if you just went numb which us what tends to happen to me,. But all this talk of feeling you have very poor fertility potential is factually not true. You had a good cycle, it just didnt work out this time. If you want to keep going your chances are good. You are the same as me, 2 blastos not worked, that is all. I dont think the karotyping thing would apply as you havegot to 7 weeks before but I'm not 100% sure, but one small comfort from miscarriage is some problems can be ruled out. It is uosetting to think si much money has been spent but there is so much to learn from your first cycle. For example try earlier transfer maybe next time. Its all a gamble, I also think the furst cycle is statistically likely to fail, regardless of clinic. If you can, switch off from research, allow yourself time to read, bake, exercise and plan a cheap break. C

Aaaa went too soon. Joy, it will feel better very soon, I promise. Well done for having a go, this is not the end, xxx

Art - wow, the scan must have felt out of this world. Fingers crossed for the next 2ww. Please dont feel guilty, your cycle was as good as any and you fully deserve your baby. I like you being here, you are an inspiration,

Hello to everyone especially the soon to be ivf and fet girls.

Hi there
I'm afraid I'm a definite lurker as opposed to poster but joycep, we've 'spoken' before so I just wanted to add my own words of sympathy/ empathy. I've now had two failed FETs with two 'top quality' blastos transferred each time so I can understand that feeling of staring into a black hole, wondering what the buggery fuck is going on when 'Nowt sticks (as an aside, my autocorrect just tried to change 'Nowt to Moët- wonder if that's a sign).
I know it's hard to believe right now but you will come back from this. It's a total shit fest of epic proportions. Xxx

That should read moet, as in champagne. Wanker iPhone.

hi, I am not sure if anyone is interested but I thought I would report back on my alternative doctor appointment. The woo doctor (who was funnily enough called Dr Wu) asked me if I

• always have cold hands and feet
• if I have wind and bloatedness in the tummy
• if I have headaches or backache
• if my poo is sometimes a bit hard at the start (sorry, TMI)
• what my cycles are like, pain, not so much pain, does it feel like it's pulling downward in my body
• if I sometimes need to take deep breaths because I feel like I am not getting enough air

The answer to all these is Yes.

He said, basically, you are way too cold. Even if you get preggers, your body, specifically the connective tissue is not warm and strong enough to hold the baby well. He gave me some chinese herbs to drink in warm water for a week twice a day. He also recommended

• keeping warm
• not eating anything colder than room temperature
• drinking ginger in hot water (100gr raw ginger to 1 litre water)
• eating lots of warm soups, chucking in some ginger for good measure
• Yogi tea from a shop selling Indian goods with raw natural sugar, not refined sugar
• soaking my feet and legs in warm water with salt (not above the knee) and gradually adding more hot water

These measures should help keep me warm. I asked if I can do any exercises to strengthen the same part of the body, he said, yes, cycling, if I can get to a stationary exercise bike, cycle backwards on it to move the hips and warm the lower body area.

So, I am sceptical, but there doesn't seem to be anything harmful in his advice so I am going to do it.

Interesting freedom
I've looked many times at Chinese views, unlike u never feel like I'm a type they describe.
euro what's up scanage wise? EC buddies? I'm Wednesday.

Freedom, I constantly have to take deep breaths, as if there is not enough air in my lungs. What did he say this means? Why do we have to be warm to conceive? What about women in permanently cold climates? Did he also concentrate on your husband or just you?

Gin/Joy I think you were two who said yes to the proposed London meet. Shall we give it a couple of weeks for the dust to settle and then try to fix something up. I will try to message everyone who said they might be interested later.

freedom I am loving the fact that your woo dr is called Dr Wu....

My acu lady tells me I am too cold as well. She tells me off if I turn up and I am not wearing a vest. It's like being back at primary school! She's always trying to warm up with the incense stick thingies they use.

doll I had another scan this morning. My dominant follie is now at 17mm (longest edge). They've given me Indometecin - an anti inflammatory that should stop it popping before they are ready (it won't, I know my cycles, but as we have paid £3k I am prepared to go along with this so as not to miss the opportunity to have it collected). I have another scan on Monday, and EC most likely Wednesday, so we really are cycle buddies! How are you doing?

Gin as long as you do not use any BESHisms in any context involving bby dst I am quite confident they are unlikely to want to hunt you down for it.

10+ IVFers, how far in advance of EC do you take the trigger shot? Can you remember? Is it 36 hrs or something. I'm just wondering if I should take mine to work on Monday!

hey euro my follies are in the same shape as my Dr predicted 4 on the left 2 15 mm and 16mm and a 12mm on the right. Back to the Beirut4 (and a little one) exactly the same at last time. But indeed on the short protocol the same level and type of stimms puts the growth much faster. In the usual cavalier style no more scans needed straight to EC booked for Wednesday morning. In answer to your question just as last time I trigger at 10.30pm Monday for a 9am booking on Wednesday.

viv he just said the breathlessness is a symptom for me, along with the other symptoms of being too cold in the lower body where the womb is situated. He's concentrating on me because he said the IUIs will get DH's sperm where it needs to be. He is focused on getting me warm enough to hold onto an embryo if conception occurs - because I lost one before. Well it is very cold in winter where I am - central europe - hence all the hot peppery teas and ginger and soups and herbs. Also if anyone is thinking of dropping a couple of pounds to help with conception - I am doing myfitnesspal, counting calories and I have lost 8 lbs already. But perhaps it is just me who is a bit chubby