TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone.

Almond and James - great news from you both, hope you are feeling a little reassured that things are progressing as they should.

Hi shellshock sorry to hear about your loss.

Literary sounds like your friends have been great. I think it's very hard for people to get it right. I seem to have ended up with a few people who ask me every time they see me if I'm alright (which loosely translated means 'are you pregnant again yet?') but don't actually want to hear anything except 'I'm fine thanks'. I'm largely ok months on, but I still have times when it'd be nice to talk about it. I'm finding Christmas hard, I think it was one of the times I'd allowed myself to imagine - I would be six months pregnant and hopefully in the glowing phase by now. Feeling pretty cheated and can't think of anything I want for Christmas - I want to be safely pregnant, a box of chocolates is not going to cut it!
(sorry - turned into a mini-rant )

Bakingtins, have a tight hug and . It's hard not to think of what we have lost. I should have been 8 months pregnant now! But I'm not.

Woohoo james sooooooo pleased you got that result! I'm fine thanks.. Plodding along with the nausea and bit of concern about the bleeding but we'll get there. When do you see the midwife?

Bakingtin rant away - this is the place to do it. I guess some people don't know what to say...when they ask how you are sometimes the obligatory answer to not make them feel awkward is to say I'm fine when inside you're screaming I'm not fine! Hugs to you. Hope you manage to chat to one of your friends that gives you the response you need but we're here as well!

literary I know exactly what you mean about comments like I think you're so brave, I never would have coped. I lost my brother years ago and I remember my best friend saying to me that she didn't know how I was coping so well and she would never be able to carry on if it happened to her. I remember being really annoyed thinking yes I am get getting on because I have to, what other choice do I have. Some people really need to engage their brains a bit before they speak!

The best one was a comment recently which I had to laugh because its so insensitive. We were supposed to go to Germany to visit some friends (and their children one of which is my other halves god son) day after my op and my other half had to ring his mate up to cancel and explained that I'd had a mc. There was no I'm sorry his mate just said that he couldn't be on the phone for long as it was his mobile and it was costing a fortune! That weekend his mate sent a pic of the godson to my other half with the words 'this is what your missing out on' - he obviously meant the fact we weren't in Germany but it also read otherwise! Come on mate Engage your brain!!!!!

Yorkie that is awful! I'm sure he just wanted to send you an update on the godson until you get another chance to visit but what a poor choice of words....

oh god Yorkie what a stupid thing to have written!

Personally I think I have to give some of my friends the benefit of the doubt. One friend has been a little stand offish (just asked how I was in the way that just wanted an "I'm fine" answer) but then I remembered she had to go through 3 rounds of IVF to get her DS (who is same age as mine) and I don't know if she can even try again. So maybe me being pg then not has stirred up stuff for her.
Then there are the people who will annoy you whatever they say - but then just have to bite my tongue and remember that it's not worth getting any more upset.

Hi Shell - sorry that you are on here too but here's to un careful christmas frolics.
James - I read some of your posts last week and really helped me to get through thinking that people do get pg straight afterwards. I know that I am setting myself up for potential disappointment straight away, but I like to have a plan to follow

I forgot to say yesterday - after my scan the midwife/sonographer (she is both) mentioned a TABLET research study - has anyone else been asked about it? I think she only mentioned it as I was being "positive and happy CTB". It's a study on thyroxine levels and whether they impact MC's. Would have to have a blood test to see if I'm eligible and then if I was would be a double blind study (ie wouldn't know if I was taking a placebo or the drug)

Think I'm going to at least have the blood test to see if I'm eligible (it checks your thyroid function so would also check that out too). But maybe that is just so I can have more contact with the Hospital - is that weird?

Oh dear, yorkie, that's dreadful! He was probably just not thinking at all when he wrote that message. It's strange how some of these things are funny in retrospect but also hurtful even long after they've been said.

I've usually made myself feel better about stupid comments by just trying to understand that people actually don't understand what I'm going through, most of the time, but feel the need to say something because they are trying to make sense of things for themselves. Often, what they say is stupid because our losses are hard to rationalize in that way.

Googled the trial - there's some info on the miscarriage association site and a link to the research site if you scroll down.

I know he just wasn't thinking and it was a poor choice of words - I had to laugh cos it is so bad. i'm more annoyed that he couldn't say I'm sorry to my other half when he told him but I guess people can be weird in there reactions. what you said literary was spot on.

Chocolate If you can get any tests done that have been offered to you, I say go for it! Will have a look at the link later as I'm sneakily typing this whilst at work!

Hello all, and hi to new folks. How's everyone doing?

CD 9 here- feels strange to say that again but hopefully am getting back to normal. No opks or anything here either but going to stick to as regular as possible dtd over the next couple of weeks and we'll see.

Very interesting about that trial. I had a blood test a couple of weeks ago due to feeling naff and they found low thyroid function so I've got to go back again to have it checked in a few months. Guess they think there might be a link there- hope that doesn't mean I'm doomed

What are my chances???? Dtd on cd 11 and unlikely to have another chance as DP has fearful toothache?hoping against hope but think I ovulate later than that as had lots of ewcm around then and a few days afterwards.

Well lpf the sperm can hang around for up to 5 days so all is not lost. Perhaps you could suggest brandy for the toothache then seduce him?!

hello blunders - i had a blood test today to see if my anaemia has improved - I suspected I had thyroid issues but apparently not. You wouldn't be doomed they can medicate you and get you back on track for getting upduffed or if you do get pg before having another test they can medicate you whilst pg.

yey for +3 James

sorry you've been feeling down Btins heres to a NY BFP for you x

Hi choc and almond and brie and yorkie and literary and all those not on this page! :)

It was DD's second birthday yesterday - we had a lovely time and shed loads of presents, she went off to bed happy then woke up at 10.30pm puking her guts up :( she is never sick. Hopefully just a random bug as she hasn't been sick today, just quite sleepy poor little beggar.

Laughing at brandy kitty ! Unfortunately the antibiotic he's taking means he can't drink and is in so much pain that he is really cross. Seduction out!

Poor dd Hope she is feeling lots better,the little angel x

What about cross angry dtd then pinkfizz?!

Thanks bump, you're right- I have decided its not worth worrying about as I can't do anything about it at the mo. levels were only on the low side of normal anyway, so it might even be ok.

Bad news about DD being poorly though poor thing, hope she feels better soon x

blundercats, I've been hypothyroid for years and years (16 to be exact) and have been taking the thyroid supplement for 15 years, so it's been under control. I had no problem getting pregnant (well, the first time round -- remains to be seen how everything goes now when we try again) so suggest you don't worry too much about it. Important thing is to get the levels to a normal range so that any potential bub develops properly. Which isn't overly difficult if you're just borderline, from whatever I gather.

Flipping heck. This thread moves fast sometimes! I've been away with work for a couple of days, so no DtD, but came back last night with lovely EWCM, sorry, way TMI and early instructions to DH to not get drunk (last day of term). 7 pints and 3 rum and cokes later he was completely not up to the job. I was absolutely furious, and hated myself for it, because I promised myself TTC would never rule us.

However, he's had a reprieve - smiley face on the OPK this morning

Get to it, jinglebell ! I don't think men get it, even if it is explained in words of one syllable. This is the fifth time we are trying to get pregnant so you would think DH, a man of some intelligence, would have got the concept by now. If you are pissed, tired, grumpy or otherwise unavailable on the days I'm fertile then yet another month will go by with no BFP. The day after tomorrow is not good enough!
He's been a good boy this month though - Father Christmas might bring him a gift

Hi literary, thanks for your wisdom- I know if you're being treated then it's not a problem at all. I was worrying because they only started picking this up so if we conceive in the next few months, I'll still be low and untreated. But- you are right I will not worry and if I do get a bfp, I'll get down the docs to talk about it and maybe they'll monitor me more closely or something. Do they monitor your levels more closely in pregnancy?

booze I would be furious too! This is the first time I've explained to OH about having some idea of when fertile o'clock is (just from dates) and I'm really hopeful he is going to have listened to that and get to it!

blundercats, my doctors monitored the thyroid very closely during the pregnancy. I am guessing this would be routinely done if thyroid levels are too low because the levels can go even lower in a pregnancy -- the baby is using some of your thyroid hormone, from what I gather, so it often needs to be supplemented. I wouldn't worry, just make sure the doctors know about it if you get a BFP.

Booze - I had the same issue the other day. Seriously, several pints later we almost missed a day. Now, while I know it doesnt have to be every day, I am so keen to get it right this month, especially as I was having a few cramps, which may or may not have been ovulation related definitely not implantation cramps at 2dpo according to my app

Managed to keep most of the irrational anger in though so the situation was rectified in the morning.

Wish I had done opks. I have no idea where my cycle is. Argh.

Ha Ibelieveinpink that's exactly what happened this morning. I definitely lost the moral high ground when I had to ask nicely this morning after realising I had a smiley face as there would have been no asking for anything otherwise

I so want to be pregnant in January. And I don't want to have any shoulda woulda couldas!

Ha Ibelieveinpink that's exactly what happened this morning. I definitely lost the moral high ground when I had to ask nicely this morning after realising I had a smiley face as there would have been no asking for anything otherwise

I so want to be pregnant in January. And I don't want to have any shoulda woulda couldas!

Unfortunately I seem to have convinced myself that it will happen this month. WILL happen. Don't know if this is good due to positive thinking, or am heading for a massive fall.
symptom spotting still, more cramping. Obviously miracle early implantation and am already upduffed

Ohhhh, me too. Which unfortunately is likely to mean I'm heading for a massive fall in about 2 weeks time!