Trying to conceive after mc? Pregnant after MC and seeking somewhere safe to hide? Recently graduated from the mosh pit? Come on down to the mosh pit for some serious metalling and cake part 4

[Jollyb]

I've started the new thread - how exciting!!

I hope this thread will bring lots of BFPs, good scan results and healthy new arrivals.

Welcome textbook I'm so sorry you've gone through this as well and hope you're feeling a little bit better - I felt that once the 'physical' side of the mmc was over, I could just be sad and work on feeling better. As for when to start, I'd go with whenever you feel ready. They say to wait so a quick pregnancy can be dated but to be honest, that can be sorted out within a few weeks anyway.

We had a lovely weekend away, were staying near Portmeirion. jolly I got my smiley face on the CB digi ovulation kit this morning! It's crap timing because DP's sperm test is Wednesday so we definately can't dtd, but I'm made up that the test has worked so I'll know for next month. And, you never know, sperm's meant to hang around for up to 5 days so could be okay, fingers crossed.

I just want to say I'm thinking of all the metallers worrying over symptoms or lack of, as pebs says, metal is a normal state of mind right from the off so I just hope you manage to relax a bit and get reassurance from other ladies on here who have proven that babies do happen for us xx

Know one should never wade in on either side of a domestic riff, but ive read of studies which show frequent check-ups and 'tender loving care' by medical professionals does actually seem to improve pregnancy outcomes among women with recurrent miscarriage, so I'd say you're well supported by science when it comes to wanting a reassurance scan, brave.

I read about this study in a book, called Coming to Term, on recurrent m/c by a science journalist whose wife had three or four (before going on to have two healthy kids). It's a fantastic book, I think, because it goes rigorously through the evidence about what we do and don't know about m/c and m/c treatments while still being very human and engaged with the non-scientific aspects.

Made me feel loads better after my second just to have a clear understanding of the facts - and one of them was that, perhaps strangely, lots of reassurance is at least as effective as medical treatments for m/c. Another was that the odds are very much in our favour for having successful pregnancies this time, and if not now then in future pregnancies.

Welcome text and sorry to hear of your loss. I didn't wait specifically after my first m/c and i got pg again on the second cycle. Did take a break after the second so that we could see a consultant. Honestly, I don't think I'd have wanted the anxiety and bodily looniness of being pregnant so soon that time. Best of luck whatever you decide.

Meant to say thanks, pebs and dorita for the reassuring words.

Thanks pebs dorita and HJ for the welcome

I do feel much better knowing that its all over, if you know what I mean. The wait was awful between the 1st scan and the mc, but I feel much less crazy and more pragmatic now.

I'm definitely hoping to have an early scan if/when I'm pg again - asked at EPAU today and they said I couldn't have one on the NHS, so I'm probably going to go private as I know I'll be worrying which surely can't be healthy. As if pregnancy wasn't stressful enough already...

Thanks HJ that sounds like a really interesting read. Although I may have overblown the tiff somewhat is it too soon to blame pg hormones?

Hi textbook sorry you find yourself here, but pull up a pew. I had an early mc/chemical at 5+2 so was encouraged by GP to get back int eh swing of trying straightaway. Amazingly, I've caught again first time - word is that you're more fertile after a mc for a couple of months so if you wanted to wait for a real period for dating purposes, you should still be able to benefit from that boost...

Arrrgh have had to put the metal jacket on ladies! I have just had to announce that i'm pregnant in an email to the parish council that i'm a councillor on! They want to change the date of a key meeting that i'm hugely involved in (both the preparation and on the day) from Jan until late Apr and i needed to say why without being too weird and mysterious or just coming across as throwing a tantrum and being unhelpful just cos they were going to change the date. Argh so scary actually writing it down, and to people who I generally only consider myself to sort of work with, especially as we've not even told in person many of our closest friends yet!

Just have to keep reminding myself that i had my 16 wk mw appointment this morning and she listened to the HB and all was well - even said she heard the baby kick the doppler away.

Welcome to the newbies. I waited before ttc again after my first mc which was a mmc at 12 weeks as i had to have the ERPC op and just didn't feel physically or mentally up to again for a few months and it took a while for my cycles to settle but after my second mc at 5-6 weeks we tried again straight away and here i got pregnant again straight away and here i am at 16 wks (argh!). I had two early scans during this pregnancy privately for reassurance and to help get my dates sorted out so that i could be more confident of having the 12 week scan in the necessary window to enable them to do the combined test.

Hello all.

A big welcome to textbook. I'm sure you'll find this thread very helpful. Don't feel surprised if you feel completely drained for the next few weeks and please allow yourself to wallow and be upset. MCs are crap.

As for when to get going again. I think DP and I started as soon as the bleeding stopped. Couldn't bring myself to use contraception.

I've had a metalling weekend too. After the delight of getting a 2-3 on sat I had lots of stomach cramps yesterday evening. I then had a bout of nasty diarrhoea which I'm sure was the cause but I couldn't help bracing for the worst.

I'm 5 weeks today and so I plucked up the courage to phone my consultant's secretary so that I can be booked for an early scan. Bit worried as o've just heard that it will be next Monday when I'll only be 6 weeks exactly. I phoned back to question this as I really don't want to go through the stress of having a scan and not seeing much and being left in limbo. Was told that the consultant wanted it then and so be it! Ho hum.

dorita must be encouraging to know that your sticks work but what frustrating timing!

Thanks everyone for making me feel so welcome. It is crap Jollyb, you are totally right, and I've been working from home watching DVD's on the sofa for the last week which seems to be helping. I just couldn't face going into the office, and tbh am dreading going back, even though most people won't know why I've been off.

Also, tis very heartening to hear that so many of you have been able to conceive so quickly after, and are doing so well! Hopefully the good luck will rub off - I also don't think I can face contraception, so I think we will just see what happens when I'm feeling better .

Hi all, and a big hi and hug for textbook, I had a mmc discovered at the 12 wk scan a year ago, I really sympathise. It's a horrible experience. Hope you can take hope that I'm pg now and it all seems to be ok at 17 wks.

Hi to everyone else

Brave can you ask your Epau for a reassurance scan? I had one at 10 wks. Though I personally think peace of mind is worth paying for, my DH is very understanding that I'm the one with the majority of the stress hanging over me and is happy for us to pay for private scan wheni start metalling. Anyway, hope you're feeling better.

Evening ladies, had my first day back at work, some of my colleagues know about my mc last week and have been really kind, feel ok just about wobbly headed

Welcome text I too suffered a mmc at 12weeks in jan, its certainly a roller coaster but off you feel up to it I'd jump back on the wagon! I found reflexology and acupuncture really helped me with the hormonal craziness after it

Not 'about' wobbly headed but a bit!! Bloody phone!

Welcome to the thread, textbook. I had a mmc in May at 7 weeks, discovered at 9 weeks, and I felt exactly the same as you. Just wanted to get pregnant again as soon as possible. We started trying straight away - midwives at the hospital said to wait until after I'd had my first period, but my own midwife said that wasn't necessary and that they only say that for dating purposes. As it turned out, my period did arrive, but we conceived that second month and I'm now 25+3 today. It's been a tough road and I can't say I've enjoyed this pregnancy (and I'm really not enjoying it at the moment, whinge, moan etc) but I'm starting to believe that I will have my wee baby in 3 months' time. It's only just over 2 weeks until my due date would have been, and I'm feeling a bit wobbly about it, but I just have to focus on my wriggly tum. I hope things work out for you as well as they have for me. x

Another welcome to textbook from me! Miscarriages are shite, but a MMC is especially cruel; I had one at 11.5 weeks & would never have known had it not been for a scan. Take care of yourself & take as much time as you need to recover.

Brave my DP & I had a similar argument when I was around 8 weeks - he said I was unnecessarily negative about the pregnancy - I think for me it was just a self-defence mechanism.

Jolly I'm sorry you're not entitled to an early scan - it's such a shame EPAU's vary so much in policy. I was entitled to one at 8 weeks, due to a previous molar pregnancy - but got another (against the rules!) because of the mmc (it was one of their criteria). I would happily have paid for these. Just for the peace of mind - although I was a wreck again within 2-3 days!!

I'm getting more movements today - bubba must have shifted, so that's reassuring. I also had to confess to my boss as I need time off work next week for an amnio & consultant appointment. Still feel weird about telling people - just don't feel ready - maybe I'll feel a bit better after the amnio & 20 week scan....

Someone asked up thread about a scan at 6 weeks - I know that in the clinic where I work, they are given at this stage & called viability scan, so I think it might reassure you, hopefully.

Sorry if I've not name-checked everyone. Hope the metalling/rollercoaster ladies are holding together ok! Xxx

cheese - I am allowed an early scan - it was me wondering whether 6+0 was too early. I have emailed my consultant to check but reassuring to hear that they do them at 6 weeks where you work.

Sorry jolly got confused! Trying to catch up on thread & got muddled up. Yes, these scans are given routinely in the obstetric clinic for certain groups of patients. Hopefully they will offer further ones too, so you can get your confidence.

jolly I had a 6 week scan. Couldn't see much - just a blob - but there was a definite flicker which was the heartbeat.

textbook, welcome to the thread. We're sorry your experience led you to find us, but glad that you did find us, if you see what I mean...this thread has been a real lifeline for me. I had a mmc too and also found out at the dating scan, in May. It is such a shitty thing to go through and so cruel as you have no warning nothing is wrong. I was told to wait for one normal cycle following the erpc just to make sure that any traces of tissue would be passed with my next period, but I have read it's not harmful to get pg straight away. As it happened, we were going on holiday a couple of weeks after the mc and I decided as I wasn't pregnant I was going to enjoy some wine without worrying I might be in the early stages of another pregnancy, so I was OK with waiting that one cycle. The cycle after that was weirdly long, but I conceived in it (ovulated on something ridiculous like day 26!) and I'm now 19+5 in what is, touch wood, a healthy pregnancy. So there is every chance that this was just one, horrible experience in your life and that your next pregnancy will be successful.

Hand-holding for me please ladies - anomaly scan tomorrow and feeling very nervous about it...

Best of luck with your scan lurcher.

Thanks Lurcher for your kind words and reassurance - and sorry that you've been through this too

However... big congrats on your pregnancy, and hand-holding offered for your scan today. Good luck!

Good luck for today lurcher. That will be a big hurdle to get over.

Fx for you today lurcher... sending positive thoughts.

Just a quickie for me to say that the scan was fine! Low-lying placenta so I've got to go back for another one at 34 weeks to see if it's moved up or not, and if not it will be an automatic CS - but I am probably going to have a CS anyway after having had a shoulder dystocia with ds' birth (am at increased risk of that happening again) so it's immaterial really.

It's a girl! I am so shocked - I really thought it was going to be ds2! Have been feeling really excited all afternoon - first time in this pregnancy I've let myself get a bit giddy.

Yay great news Lurcher and a girl too! Full set on its way

So pleased it went well - and that you're now letting yourself get excited

Fantastic news Lurcher.

Great news lurcher

That's brilliant news Lurcher! So happy for you!! Xxx