Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1

[Bunnygirlie]

Hi y'all, Welcome to our new meeting place :-) Let's refresh as usual -

Bunnygirlie - 32, married, TTC since June, due to OV this week according to app

Agreed Hazle. Not insensitive at all quod. Having said that I hope I'll relax after I've passed 12 weeks. But am trying as hard as I can not to worry. Someone told me (was it one of you?) that pregnancy is the training ground for parenthood, in that the worrying starts... and then once the baby is born never goes away!!

Crikey janey if that's the case then I'll be completely grey before they're out of nappies - ooh check me out for positive thinking

I really admire your optimism Hazle too. This TTC lark is a total rollercoaster - there does come point where you have to suspend disbelief as best you can. Mind you I say that now - I'm already terrified/excited of next BFP having had such a short run last time.

It'll all be worth it one day, though, right??

Looking for more contributions to the "good things about not being up the duff" list! For that rainy BFN day.

I can give you some.

DRINKING. WHITE WINE. LOTS OF.

Also - some to last the next couple of months, should anyone need them:
*it's the run up to Christmas; much more fun to be out celebrating than falling asleep on the sofa at 9pm
*academically, children born at the start of the school year (particularly boys) tend to do better in the first few years than those born at the end. Ideally a BFP around December would be perfect to give them the best possible educational start
*new year's eve is always much more fun when you're drunk, than when you're sober (notice a lot of these refer to booze: can you tell I'm missing it?!)
*if you'd like to lose a few pounds, do it now, because you're not allowed to diet once knocked up (wish I didn't weigh more now than I have done in a decade!)
*you aren't, urm, 'gassier' than you recalling having ever been
*looking lovely in slinky Christmas party dresses, rather than feeling and looking like a bloated heffalump
*still being up for DTD rather than prefering an early night and snoring by 9pm
*no break outs - why have I suddenly got a few spots again - at nearly 38 years old?!

How's that?

Right, so just when I was starting to relax into this up the duff malarkey I start bleeding!!!
Ok, so that may be a slight hysterical exaggeration. By bleeding I mean the smallest minuscule amount of pinkish CM when I wipe but it's still taken my worry levels back into orbit. It was only a tiny amount for an hour or so and has stopped now but do you think it's worth bothering the Midwife about it? I haven't got any pain and feel fine otherwise apart from my brain convincing me it is the beginning of the end.

Oh rache - the stress is unbelievable...

Oh I don't know what the midwife would say to you... In experience they won't bother investigating it unless it gets worse - a kind of let nature take its course type attitude. If it starts again and is heavier you could ring your out of hours GP, which I did, and they just told me to go to A&E. A&E then helpfully said I had to wait a week for a scan, and sent me home. I then called the early pregnancy unit the next morning at a different hospital (not my nearest, but the one I asked to be referred to) and they were lovely and said to come in and scanned me. But the point being there was no sense of urgency with anyone at all really - I had to push for the scan. In my local hospital the EPU isn't open in evenings or at weekends.

What I would say is this: they told me that bleeding is VERY common. Not sure if you've been DTD at all, but apparently the cervix has more blood vessels (or something) when you're pg so it's relatively common to bleed after sex as you might have knocked it. Some people bleed quite a lot, usually at the time their period would have been due, and are fine. They told me that the vast majority of the time it means nothing.

I'm so sorry you've got this stress, it's an absolute nightmare. Chances are it's nothing, but know you'll be massively worried anyway.

Sorry I can't be of more useful advice. Absolutely everything crossed that this is nothing to be concerned about...x

But then again... (sorry can't make up my mind) if you do get hold of them they just might give you a scan tonight or tomorrow, which will hopefully put your mind at rest.

Sorry, don't know what to advise. From my past experience of my local hospitals, I would wait - but you know what, they might be better in other parts of the country, and I know you're oop north not in crappy east london so maybe it might be worth calling them to stop yourself worrying...

Rach, I have had that today too after a poo after going on about how relaxed and optimistic I was it made me go loopy for about an hour.

The thing is it has now stopped, and was very, very light to start with - just as you describe really, a little bit of lightly tinged mucus. Like Janey said it's meant to be incredibly normal. I spot quite a lot normally and my doctor said I have a cervical ectropian so I am trying to see it as quite possibly that. As you said, no pain and no significant bleeding.

My cousin gave me a pre-emtive lecture the other day about not worrying about bleeding, and how very normal it is, and I'm trying to keep that in mind.

This may sound ridiculous but I downloaded and listened to a meditation podcast which calmed me right back down - I am figuring that the only thing I can control at all is my anxiety levels.

Fingers crossed there's no more of it to come for either of us - and that we can stop worrying...

PS Bunny, add to your list

• (unlimited) tea, coffee
• beer (ridiculous but I started thinking about autumn pub lunches around a fire and got all sad that I can't have beer)
• new clothes (I went into a shop today and thought, what's the point? Who knows how long it'll fit)
• being able to concentrate on work. This one is a shitter. If you thought the internet distraction on a 2WW was bad, JUST WAIT.

Sorry, Zombies that list was for you!

Thanks janey I really hope so. I am such a doom monger!

My Sister had severe abdominal pain at 7 weeks so she called NHS Direct who told her to go straight to A&E. I went with her as her DH was working away and I have to say they were absolutely brilliant. Within a few hours she'd had a load of blood tests and an internal scan showing everything was fine.

Bleeuuuurgh. AF.
That is all.

Captain, sorry the evil witch got you!

Sorry to hear those with PG having a few stresses too, sounds like whether you are TTC or have had the BFP, it's worry worry worry stress stress stress until you have that healthy baby in your arms!

Thanks for the list Janey but I fully intend on having to stop drinking by Christmas and new year and my January birthday ;-) check out the pessimist being positive!

Oh, not quite all..
Janey, re dieting whilst preggers, there is a diet, I think it's a plan with Slimming World (sorry can't find a link just now), that is specially designed for pregnant folk, and also this article from the BMJ has stuff to say too.

www.bmj.com/press-releases/2012/05/16/weight-management-pregnancy-diet-beneficial-and-safe-and-can-reduce-compli

Personally, and as a life-long fatty, I in no way think people should be worrying about weight whilst growing a baby. But just in case anyone is interested, it is an option. (and lowers risk of diabetes developing during pregnancy etc..)

Quod and janey I have just done some panic Googling and it appears that it is really really common so I will crank my anxiety levels down from overdrive to just a dull roar

Also Quod might I recommend the Bavaria 0.0% Alcohol Beer (currently £1.99 for 6 at Morrisons). I tried the Becks and Cobra alcohol-free beers and they were both minging but the Bavaria is surprisingly convincing (well you can tell the good bit is missing but it's definitely the best of a bad bunch.)
There is also these people www.alcoholfree.co.uk who I believe may enable me to have some wine with my Christmas dinner

Sorry she got you captain :(

And sorry those with BFPs are having problems. Fingers crossed everythings ok.

Sorry Zombie I have nothing to add to the good reasons for not being pregnant list. I'd give all that up and more for a baby.

I think that's it rache - anything unusual like severe pain and they're fab, but with spitting they don't do anything precisely because it is so common..,

I have just worked out it's six days down, 52 days to go until the 12 week mark for me. My problem is that I'm at home on my own writing up my thesis for the whole of that time, and it is so so so hard to concentrate with all this pregnancy stuff raging around my head - there's nothing and noone to 'absorb' me in something other than my own willpower and my own work.

Rache, glad you have cranked it down! And thanks for the Bavaria tip.

Rach I understand the panic, but really it's very common and normal.

Bunny I have this nagging doubt that the worrying won't stop with giving birth either. It will probably get only worse and we'll keep worrying about them for the next ..well, I wanted to say 18 years, but my parents still worry about me. So apparently forever.

Sorry to hear about the pg panicking going on here ladies.
I'm sure the constant distraction must be dreadful, and doctor Google is a blessing and a curse.
I'm sure you'll all be fine ladies.
Let us all know what happens.

I haven't been able to concentrate on work this week, gawd knows what it's like whilst on the 12 week wait :-s
Have a good weekend ladies

More spotting for me today.... combined with what I can only guess is PG related nausea! I wait 17 days for a reassuring symptom to appear and it appears at the same chuffin' time as a possible MC symptom! Pregnancy giveth with one hand and taketh away with the other! I am keeping positive though, I haven't got any pain and it's not like anybody can actually do anything to prevent it even if it is so there is no point stressing. Instead I will eat cake. Lots of cake.

One thing I read on here is a mantra to say to yourself:
Today I am pregnant.

I'll be thinking of you Rache. Please keep us updated.

And I shall eat cake too, as a show of support. Namely a quarter of a massive waitrose carrot cake.

The nausea HAS to be a good sign, I'm sure of it. Absolutely everything crossed for you.

I woke up feeling sick, maybe it's sympathy nausea:-s

I have no cake but will be stuffing myself with Chinese tonight after the fireworks!

Hope all ok Rach.