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Conception

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Original poster

will start ttc 1213 but DP wants me to go on the pill till then. advice needed please

29 replies

Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 10:36

Hi,

I'm not 100% sure this is the right place to post so I'm sorry if not.

I just wanted some advice on the pill and conception. I am 28 and have never been on the pill, my ex husband was always happy to use condoms. I have been with my DP for 18 months and he hates using condoms. We have decided to start ttc at the start of next year when his DD is settled after starting school.

He has asked me if I would go on the pill until then. I personally don't want to but maybe I am wrong, I hate the idea of putting fake hormones into my body, I'm scared of putting on weight and that the pill could lower my sex drive. I'm also so desprate for a baby I do not want to do anything that could hinder getting pregnant.

How have other people found ttc after coming off of the pill? If it is not going add to the amount of time it could take to get pregnant then I would concider it.

Thank you so much for your advice in advance

OP posts:
FluffyJawsOfDoom · 26/04/2012 11:00

There's no reason it should make ttc take longer - plenty of women get pregnant straight after coming off the pill and there's even a bit of research which indicates you might be more fertile post pill.

That said, I'm never going back on it because it destroyed my sex drive! So it's all personal preference; many women get no side-effects whatsoever.

bugoven · 26/04/2012 11:03

I don't know if going on the pill for 2 months was the cause or stress of TTC but I have had pretty erratic cycles and spotting for the six months I've been off it and TTC.

It can take a few tries to find a pill that suits you and if you're TTC 2013 that's not a lot of time to adjust and settle to the right one or for him to be using condoms.

Ultimately you should do what you feel comfortable with. Maybe if you use condoms your "love making" will be all the better once you are trying to make a baby. Just a thought Smile

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 11:09

Thank you for your replys. I have wanted a family my entire life and I am just so scared if I go one the pill it will take longer.

FluffyJawsOfDoom I'm an afraid of that, sex is hugely important to my DP and I.

Ha ha bugoven I like your idea, maybe I could convince him with that!

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EmpireBiscuit · 26/04/2012 11:18

Being on the pill made me gain weight (which was impossible to lose), become quite emotionally unstable, gave me terrible skin and destroyed my sex drive. When I came off it last year I felt like a different person (only down side being the return of horrific periods). If the only reason you are considering it is to please your DP I would think really hard about the possible side effects.

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 11:25

I have also just read lalexander post. It is something I am very uncomfortable with hence having never been on the pill.

It would only be for a short period of time and I feel like I am being selfish saying no to my DP but all of the side effects sound awful.

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FoofFighter · 26/04/2012 11:29

No problems with the pill here (aside from getting pregnant on it!! not a problem but you know what I mean)

Please do not ever be talked into having the contraceptive jab though Angry should be banned imo. Suffered unexplained secondary infertility for over 5 yrs after just two shots of it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/04/2012 11:32

I think he is being very selfish to ask you to fill your body with hormones purely for his benefit.

If you are unhappy about taking the Pill then don't take it, using condoms for another year won't kill him.

lalexander · 26/04/2012 11:33

pleased you saw my post, i was on the pill for over about 10years,

i guess we are all different, and take different times to return to a normal cycle,

most people apparently return to a normal cycle within 6 months

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 11:49

Alibabaandthe40nappies I think he thinks I am the one being selfish by not going on it. But I totally agree with you.

lalexander I really don't want to add another 6 months to ttc if I can help it.

I am hugely greatful for all of your thoughts it has really helped me see another side

OP posts:
FoofFighter · 26/04/2012 12:18

But it shouldn't delay conception at all, once you stop taking them the hormones shortly leave your body and things go back to normal.

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 12:35

FoofFighter I know and all of the research that I have done backs up what you have said, it appears to only be a small percentage of women that have problems after taking the pill.

I think my main thing is I just don't want to do it, the side effects to me out weigh the good points and it would only be for 8 months. DP has agreed that if we have an 'accident' that its not that far off of our target of ttc next year so I have decided I am not going to start taking the pill but if we manage to get pregnant then I will concider it after we have a baby.

I wanted to see if I was being silly and selfish saying no.

Thank you for all of your advice

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Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 12:37

Also lalexander I really hope everything gets sorted for you. Best of luck

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IAmBooyhoo · 26/04/2012 12:45

i dont think you are being silly or selfish at all. i think it is quite a big thing to ask someone you love to alter their body, their emotions, their sex drive and possibly their fertility and to have the responsibility of remembering at the same tome everyday to take a pill whether having sex or not that day when he isn't prepared to consider a method that doesn't affect his body, emotions, sex drive or fertility (apart from at the point of use) at all. i think if your DP does want to delay conception then he needs to think about why he feels it is up to you to sacrifice so much when he isn't prepared to do something so small for the same purpose.

GenericDietCola · 26/04/2012 12:50

I would say why take the risk of going on the pill when you have reservations and there are other options. If you don't like condoms, you could try the cap.

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 12:57

I have sent my DP an email (he is currently at work) explaining why I don't want to go on the pill and this was his reply'

Hi I thought about it a bit after our chat last night and I realised that I really didn't want you to possibly ruin aspects of your and our life by just giving me the convenience of not breaking to put a condom on. It really isn't a valid trade off so I wouldn't and don't expect you to go on the pill.

I think it will be ok and we can carry on with condoms. I'm not sure he really realised how strongly I felt about it

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 26/04/2012 12:58

Lots of women seem to experience a fertility surge once they come off of the Pill. And there are several posters on MN who have conceived whilst actually on it (myself included - although to be fair that was user error on my part).

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 13:01

Two ladys pregnant while on the pill on one thread, maybe the odds are good!

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 26/04/2012 13:08

that's a good response from him. i do think that men dont sometimes realise what it means to ask someone to go on the pill because they dont experience the changes that happen themselves IYKWIM. but what is most important is that YOU aren't happy doing it right now and that he supports that.

eurochick · 26/04/2012 13:21

I'm glad it's sorted. I've tried the Pill twice (for 9 months each time) and suffered horrible side effects, including depression. I would never take it again. I also hated the idea of filling my body with fake hormones.

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 13:41

I agree IAmBooyhoo I don't think men really understand everything that comes with taking the pill. I explained (thanks to the posts here) that it could change how I am and is a pill that can do that really a great thing for us when it would only be for such a short period of time.

I had a good agrument thanks to everyones quick and honest replys

OP posts:
maddywest · 26/04/2012 14:53

I'm glad you're sorted for now Ticktock, but have you thought about what will happen after you have had your babies and want to use contraception again for the rest of your fertile years? Would he be happy to have a vasectomy then? he does sound like he's taking your feelings into account now, so might be worth having the discussion!

maddywest · 26/04/2012 14:55

Oh sorry I see you said you would consider the pill later, so you are discussing, ignore me!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/04/2012 15:01

That is a good response from him.

I think that the Pill has become so 'normal', that loads of people don't even stop and question using it, and men through their late teens and twenties get very used to not having to take responsibility for contraception because so many women are on the Pill. Obviously that leaves aside the issue of STDs.

Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 15:23

Its interesting and your right Alibabaandthe40nappies, I guess such a vast majority are on the pill and unless you have ever been with someone who isn't and maybe explains why they are not, men are not going to know. I had been with my ex husband since I was 17 and we just fell into never needing it but my DP has not had a partner who was not on the pill at some point so didn't really see where I was coming from.

Yes maddywest I would consider it in the future but if I can avoid it I will! My DP is 40 so I think once we have had our babie(s) he may well be ok with a vasectomy, he has a DD from his previous marriage as well.

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Original poster
Ticktock1 · 26/04/2012 16:15

Ha ha only just seen that I said 1213 instead of 2013!! Maybe having children isn't such a good idea :o

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