The minute they stopped trying, they got pregnant...

[KylieP]

Hi, I have always had a feeling I'd struggle conceiving, maybe because my AF was never regular, and whilst I'm not feeling massively negative or anything, people keep telling me I'm worrying too much/stressing etc. I keep hearing about couples who struggled and then either the minute they looked into IVF/gave.up/booked an exotic holiday etc, it happened. Is there any truth in this positive thinking business and does you body ovulate and conceive more or less depending on your state of mind?! Is anyone willing to try relaxing and positive thinking with me? Or is that just a baby myth?!

Well, i think so, i know its only one example, and albeit a speedy one but for me its true.

In december i had an mmc, jan and feb ttc like a loony, march i colapsed said no more cba, i need a break, had swi twice and got a BFP friday.

Which i find very strange. But not complaining.

Ah congrats! Maybe less is more! Actually someone did say to me you can SWI too often, which would mean it doesn't have time to build up in between (if you see what I mean!). Anyway hope all goes really well :)

Oh and also if anyone has tried anything herbal or natural like reflexology or acupuncture with good results (either to kick start ovulation or conceive), would be great to hear your stories. Just in case this whole positive thinking thing doesn't work, I'd like a back up plan

good luck kylieP its nerve wracking, shortest we took to ttc was 6mnths and that was with dc.2 when ds was 6mnths old

but i was of the school of thought that swi every day or every other was best and this just proved me wrong!

Ive not heard of anything herbal but theres some amazing advice here x

I got pregnant with my first on the last possible cycle before our long-awaited appointment at the infertility clinic. Numbers two and three came with no effort at all.

we tried for 18months to get pg with ds2, thought it was not going to happen....rewrote our life plan accordingly, took some career risks...

of course it did happen shortly afterwards, at the worst time possible career wise for both of us, while DH was on an overseas secondment (he came home for Easter - I blame the chocolate!).

I do think sometimes having the pressure off to have spontaneous joyous unplanned and unpressured sex might be what is needed.

Thanks natasha it's just my third cycle so am going to give it until July then panic see the doctor. I saw her the other day and she told me to relax. I do have suspected PCOS so I may well struggle and need chlomid etc down the line. I'm just wondering if there is anything I can do for now, and I did hear acupuncture kickstarts hormones so would prob give that a shot first. Did you try anything at all other than considering IVF? Do you have PCOS?

2 separate friend fell pregnant accidentally after previously trying for many many years, and having successful IVF babies.

One only found out when she was 5 months pregnant.

The other had just given up persuading her husband to try another IVF cycle for another child. She fell pregnant naturally that month.

Oh, acupunture worked for me.

Thanks stateofconfusion :) Pringles and hattifattner right am going to focus on other things and try my best to relax. Have a couple of holidays coming up soon so that should help. Yay for spontaneous joyous unplanned and unpressured sex! I know what you mean about the work thing though, have put my career on hold a bit for this, but at the same time I don't think the pressure of starting a new job would help right now so will hang on in there for a while.

sitting in the sun see more examples! Were they quite stressed/anxious when trying to do you think? Fair enough it could be just down to luck and timing, BUT there is a guy in my office whose dad is a fertility expert/gyno doctor and he said he sees it again and again, couples having a first appointment for IVF after years of trying, then suddenly getting naturally pregnant. He thinks it's when they think they have a solution coming up they relax a bit. Re the acupuncture, what did you have it for and how did you find someone good, where did you go? Thanks

I think it's crap although on paper it looks like that's what happened to us. I suppose it's more noticeable if it does happen and gives idiots people ammo to poke us with- "my best friend's cleaner's dog gave up trying and had triplets 3 months later" stylee. I just think that eventually we got extraordinarily lucky and it happened. I don't think it's anything to do with "giving up trying" because objectively if you're still having sex without contraception you haven't given up trying.

Forgot to say was 6.3 years between dumping contraception and take-home DD3.

"because objectively if you're still having sex without contraception you haven't given up trying"

We actually did give up. We spent 2 years trying, decided we needed a break from the stress, I went back on the pill.. and got a BFP.

Impressive! Were you already pregnant when you went back on the pill or did you get pregnant while you were on it?

I gave away all my baby stuff and made the decision not to try any more, but we were clearly hedging our bets since we didn't go back on contraception- there didn't seem much point after nearly 6 years.

This happened to a good friend of mine. Her and her husband had been trying for 2+ years and were resigning themselves to assistance with conceiving.

They went mountain biking and she took a tumble and broke her back. For a few days we didn't know if she would walk again (she is fine now, luckily) - but she needed pins in her back & the doctor told her that she should not get pregnant for 6 months to ensure she had strengthened it sufficiently. She wasn't too concerned as she assumed there were problems - lo and behold, 3 months later she realised she was pregnant.

She said the accident also put things in perspective - rather than stressing about getting pregnant, she thought "who cares if I can't have kids, at least I can walk." Rather an extreme example but there you go!

Lovely story Gennz thank god she's ok too. You too empusa glad it happened for you eventually. I do suspect a lot of these stories you hear are coincidence, but I do wonder - our bodies are complex after all and the other day I was worrying about the fact I might not be ovulating/might be infertile etc, and my mum pointed out that my voice and posture had changed, and I seemed really tense, and she thinks that feeling stress regularly about it could be having a negative effect on body processes and hormones. Even if she's wrong and it's a load of crap not medically accurate, at the very least if I try and not stress about it, the time between now and my first BFP will be a happier time, for my DH and me! If anyone has any other stories or any other natural tips about ttc, please share! :)

I got pregnant while on the pill, rather than before going on it

Oh it used to drive me up the blinking wall when people said just relax and it will happen, like HOW are you meant to do that. Sadly its not something you can just decide to do is it?

Having said that I am one of those annoying people. We had a terrible time of it for 12 months, chemical pregnancies, lots of stress, I became obsessed and was rattling with supplements, had OPKs and monitors everywhere and DH and I ended up having this massive row when he refused to DTD on demand. It was awful and he said he had hated TTC and did not want to try any more. I was devastated and so distressed. That month I ditched everything - the vits, the acupuncture, the checking ovulation etc. Did not mention ovulation or cycles to DH. We had lovely sex over the course of a weekend (i thoguht it was way too early for ovulation) and boom, that month is happened. The first month I had slightly given up and relinquished control of it all. I was getting worried I was going to ruin my relationship.

I would still go and have investigations done if you have been trying for a while, no amount of relaxing will help if there is a problem. Best of luck with it, TTC for a long time is shite, I feel your pain.

I know - and then you get stressed about trying so hard not to stress! What's helping is I have a few holidays coming up in the next few months so I'm thinking my strategy should be to keep busy, I haven't felt as anxious the past couple of weeks (mainly as the holidays wouldn't be as fun if I was pregnant!) I will get it investigated if nothing by my sixth cycle.

Sounds like you had a rough 12 months farfallarocks. I am a bit impatient and can worry a lot, but am trying to be an optimist like DH, and one thing that's helping is to keep a sense of humour (although DH did a hen impression round the room when I said I was worried about my body not releasing an egg - perhaps that's taking the humour thing a bit to far!) I'm going to try what you did relinquish control a bit and just enjoy lovely sex! And stop self-diagnosing problems by googling!

Similar happened to us - we were on the list for IVF, so stopped bothering to 'try' naturally, then got pg just before i was supposed to start the first lot of meds..

Oh, and both of my pregnancies were not as a result of deliberately "trying". DS2 in particular, was a rather rushed affair, the day we got back from a holiday with my parents. DH was gobsmacked when I told him I was pregnant, as he couldn't actually remember the "event"!

We had been going for it for 14 ish months, tried and failed to have a couple of holiday babies, I started having tests and then we moved house, and kind of put ttc to the back burner whilst we sorted out houses. We had a holiday in the midst of it all and decided we'd properly get tested and start ivf route if nec once in the new place.... Am due in November with a baby conceived on that lovely holiday!

We were trying for 7 years, with no BFP
Had surgery and was told if no BFP within 12 months no chance due to endometriosis
12
Months came and went with no BFP
Gave up
Brought a brand new Suzuki motorbike GSXR 600
BFP and
Morning sickness within 2 months