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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC 10 plus months, part 6

998 replies

mrsden · 14/03/2012 17:05

A friendly, supportive thread for those of us who are taking a bloody long little longer time than average to conceive.

OP posts:
gameoverat35 · 19/04/2012 16:55

I think I just posted in a way out of date thread. I've been busy TTC the past 9 months since my last post.

Anyway, its now been around 20 months ttc.

Bloods & ultrasound looks good. His sperm all normal.

I'm now 36 and he's 42. Fit, healthy etc etc. I gave up alcohol & coffee completely. My family have a history of conceiving at will. So do his.

the cbfm shows me ov like clockwork each month but still nothing. Shows that I have a cycle of 21 to 24 days. Ov on day 9 to 12. So a shortish LP of ~12 days most months.

the GP simply tells us to have more sex.

I am pretty fed up to put it mildly.

eurochick · 19/04/2012 17:06

Hi gameover. We're on cycle 18, so I feel your pain. I'm also 36 and off the alcohol and coffee (boo). Our tests have been mostly fine (although as I have mentioned on here, Mr euro's IUI sample was rather on the low side). I also have a LP of around 12 days but no one seems bothered about that.

Have you moved on to assisted conception yet? We have tried three rounds of superovulation (Letrozole plus HCG trigger shot) and are currently on our first round of unmedicated IUI. I was supposed to be having IVF this month but had a bit of a freak out about and have put it back to try IUI first. We also have immune tests privately that showed I have high NK cells. However, I have been on immune drugs for the past 5 cycles and am not pregnant yet, so something else must be going on too.

princesschick · 19/04/2012 17:22

Well back from scan...fannycam rather than tummycam and the blessed stirrups, still at least I got to have a wee before the appointment. Am rather :( as it would appear that I have lots of cysts on the right ovary and a couple on the left. The good news being that my ovaries are the correct size and I have a 'lovely' uterus and womble. TBH I feel gutted but I had already resigned myself to this outcome. Its just always hard to hear and Im still feeling a little bit numb. I know its not the end but it feels like another thing to deal with / come to terms with. We've just had princess tears over Marilyn Glenville's seven step diet, which bans dairy for 3 months. Alcohol and caffeine I have just about learnt to deal but dairy? Come on! No lattes, no gelato, no cheese, no cream cakes, no butter, no milkshakes, heavy sob building, no panna cotta, no eton mess :'(. I told my mum whose immediate reaction was "ooh that's that thing that David Beckham's wife has (like its a fucking designer illness) didn't stop her having loads of kids (cost of her fertility treatment?!?!?!?!?!?!?)" and when she asked what caused it and I said "usually genetic" I got a v.defensive "well I don't have it. So it can't be from me" Thanks for that mum. Should have responded, "well maybe I got it from the fucking milkman then" Angry. Back to the new bible and seeing what other favourite foods Marilyn is going to be banning me from. :( :( :( :( :( :(

beckslovestimmy · 19/04/2012 17:46

Hi, me and my husband have been TTC for 19 long months now. We have had our first appointment at the fertility clinic. I've had bloods taken and swabs just waiting for results. Have to book a mid cycle scan and PCT for next month. Its all a bit daunting and really didn't think it would come to this. Hoping for a bit of support and any advice, guidance and tips you guys can give me????

whereismywine · 19/04/2012 18:25

Welcome becks and gameover sorry you've found yourself on here. it really is a bummer BUT this is a good place to hang out til the bfp finally shows up it's late and lazy arse. Finding a way to switch off, if even for a little bit has been good for me. I try to plan nice stuff, listen to meditations, yoga, baths and lots of reading of non ttc things. And baking.

princess oh im sorry about your ovaries (my friend calls hers bobbly ovaries) it's another kick when you get news that isn't what you want to hear. But, if this is the problem, there are solutions that they will plan for you. It's horrible thinking your equipment is a bit different but remember it's common and the equipment is bloody complicated. I'm glad you have found solace on here. I joined last summer and it was a godsend to talk with people who understand and who I have virtually become very very fond of. TTC in the real world can be very lonely but 18 months in and many conversations with others later, fertility troubles are common. They just tend to remain hidden. Unless you're me and tell any old bob a job who'll listen! Hope you feel better very soon.

pout the lap for me was a bit compounded by the fact that it was three days before Xmas and I had to go to a big family do on Xmas eve. This was fine but it has made me remember feeling woozy and full of trapped wind more than I might have done if I could have just stayed in bed! The wound hurts for a couple of days but more it is inside that is bruised and tender. And the trapped air (which you sadly can't fart out) was uncomfy. But I think uncomfy is the better word, rather than pain. They will give you painkillers. It was a few days before I could roll over in bed but mostly it was the anaesthetic that knocked me about and like euro I had a rashy reaction after. You will be ok on your own but dog walking would have been too much for me, the whole thing made me shattered.

joycep sorry about af, it's mean when you have hope. Hope you're ok.

lemon and euro I have a similar scale of if it's ok to be pregnant. smoking/big drinking/weed/instant conception/accidents/junk food make feel a bit hard done by.

mrsden thank you for the description of the clinic I found it really interesting and helpful! When do you start?

Limp tail feathers artemis I know the feeling! I'm worried mine are also looking a bit sparse. A tail feather spruce would be nice. In fact wouldn't a ttc make over be good? Tidy ovaries and womb, plump up the lining, polish the egg and spruce up the sperm. Throw in a nice load of ewcm and bobs your uncle, bfp guarantee or your money back. Now that would make the stirrups feel worthwhile.

gin how's it going?

Good luck with the tests beryl

Lisa im sorry about your crappy crappy day and your gp changing her tune a bit. You are not too old and there will be a way for you. Hugs.

ladygee I worry about nk cells as I'm so bloody allergic to everything. It's a minefield isn't it?

Hope I got everyone in there and waves to everyone else. Special wave to any graduates reading, do come and tell us how you're doing, you are missed!

I am scared of my operation. And that is mostly how I'm feeling. And I finally got to meet my siblings little one this week even though they were born last summer (long long long way away) and it was lovely lovely but the cold wind did blow thru my poor wonky womble.

GinSoaked · 19/04/2012 18:26

Hi all! Now I'm back at work, am struggling to keep up with the thread! How dare work get in the way of my mumsnetting...

Just wanted to send princess some massive hugs. I'm so sorry you're feeling so shite. All this ttc stuff is shite. I don't know much about pcos, but thought it could be managed and overcome fairly easily?! Sorry, I really don't know much about it. Hugs. Take care of yourself xxx

wine like everyone else has said, 'broid has to be a baby blocker. The lady at work had something v similar and having had it removed, she's now 6 months pregnant! Hope you are ok and well done for surviving the stirrup exams. I'm soooo pleased I was knocked out for the really invasive stuff, although removal of the vaginal pack tea towel still haunts my nightmares...

Enjoying the fash chat Grin I decided to update my grey, shrunken primani joggers with an m&s pair for post EC/ET wear. Was in a gown and sexy hair net for the procedures.

I found mrsd's account of the clinic really interesting. If anyone wants the detail of what happened during my ivf procedure, do let me know. I'm more than happy to share, esp if it'd help put people at ease.

2ww is driving me nuts. Have no idea if it's worked. Have official blood test at clinic on mon and they say I can do hpt next weds. However, fell into super drug on way home and accidentally bought 2 tests...

Waves to everyone I've missed, which is loads of you I know!

Purpledragon · 19/04/2012 18:33

hi becks, there are lots of people with experience with fertility clinics here, you will have seen. I'm not one of them still waiting for an act of god but wanted to wish you luck. game over your cycle and mine are super similar, I don't know want our issue(s)is/are. I'm vainly trying one last shot at the more sex at the right time approach. Boo. princess, don't you just love it when people do celebrity parallels? So helpful.

CritterPants · 19/04/2012 18:46

Hello all!

princess great that you have a tickety-boo uterus, but very sorry to hear about your PCOS diagnosis after today?s scan. I have it too and it is a bugger. In fact, my sister and my mum probably have it as well, my mum wasn?t diagnosed but her periods were very similar to how mine were before I went on the pill, so she thinks she had it too. What is this Marilyn Glenville no-cheese diet you speak of? Is there a book I should be reading? [sceptical] at Victoria Beckham designer illness remark.

gameoverand becks, hello!

euro love the egg collection fashion dilemma Grin. My friend at university told me once, when I complimented her on a dress she was wearing at a party, that it was her mum?s and was ?the dress she was conceived in?. I was both [shocked] and impressed in equal measure.

pout your poor dog, Grin at the big boy pants! What kind of dog is he? I can relate, hayfever is miserable!

artemis - let me fluff your tail feathers . It sounds promising if you did ovulate and you managed to dtd every other day! I really hope this is your lucky month. Bloody irritating about the NHS ? that?s ridiculous that they ?don?t plan for treatment failure? Angry.

lady good luck with your appointment, and I hope you have a relaxing and distracting holiday in the meantime.

joyce - big, big hugs to you. Sorry that AF turned up, how disheartening. I really hope you feel better in a few days, when you start swi in your new cycle.

Beryl great that you got your bloods done ? progress! Onwards and upwards. It helps to feel that something is happening, at least. To me, one of the hardest things about ttc is the lack of control over the situation. And the endless waiting.

Big waves and abundant shakes of rear plumage to everyone else that I have missed. It looks like I haven?t ovulated after all as I?m on CD 18 and my temperature has not gone up. I guess my positive OPK on CD14 was just a surge, without any actual egg. Sad

Don?t know what the next stage is after Clomid tablets but my doctor said if this round on 150mg doesn?t work he?s referring me to a reproductive endocrinologist. I am wondering whether to call him and ask for a progesterone test just to make sure it hasn?t worked. Gah, I hate the thought of waiting and then still having to take another 10 days of horrible progesterone to induce my period. Oh well. We truck on!

beckslovestimmy · 19/04/2012 18:57

Hi sorry to be a bit dim, trying to get my head round all the abbreviations. DH? AF? EWCM? SWI? please enlighten me?

For those of you who have tried clomid how long did it take from seeing the consultant to you first cycle? My consultant said I had to have the bloods and smear and swabs, then a mid cycle scan and PCT and if they didn't think my tubes were blocked then they would try clomid. Just wondering how long it will take as it will already be another 2 months once the scan is done.

eurochick · 19/04/2012 19:04

There's an acronyms link up there somewhere

DH = dear husband (can't bring myself to use that one)
AF = aunt flo= period
EWCM = Egg white cervical mucus, i.e. the fertile stuff
SWI = sechs with intent, much less twee than the "baby dancing" that seem to be preferred elsewhere

eurochick · 19/04/2012 19:14

My timescale so far has been:

April 11, see GP, sent for blood tests and Mr euro sent for SA
June 11, get results, GP makes referral to fertility clinic.
[referral gets lost twice-argh!]
August 11, fertility clinic appointment, sent for scan and HSG, plus another SA
Sept 11 - scan and HSG
Oct 11 - second SA
Nov 11, get results at fertility clinic with diagnosis of "unexplained infertility", referred for IVF
Nov 11, self-refer to immunolgy specialist, have private immunology tests
Dec 11 - diagnosed with high NK cells, prescribed steroids for the immune issues plus a programme of superovulation (letrozole and HCG shot) to try to speed things up
Jan 12 - scan and swabs with IVF clinic
Feb 12 - third SA for IVF clinic, HIV and Hep B bloods for both of us
Mar 12 - supposed to start IVF, freak out and opt for IUI instead
Apr 12 - first IUI cycle underway!

I've taken a slightly unconventional path but hopefully this helps. We have been lucky both to be able to afford to see someone privately and that my IVF clinic does not have a long wait.

beckslovestimmy · 19/04/2012 19:31

Thanks eurochick, all is now clear! I'm hoping to get things going quickly I feel like we've been waiting forever. I'm not a patient person! Where I work it seems everyone is pregnant or just given birth. I made the big mistake way back at the beginning and told people we were going to start trying for a baby. Now it feels like not a day goes by that i'm not asked whats happening, or if I feel under the weather i get lots of winks and nudges. I'm fed up! My husband did his SA and all was fine. He sometimes makes me feel it's all my fault. He doesn't seem to realise that I need support through this.

Well, rant over! I feel better for that. www.mumsnet.com/te/2.gif/bmi_orig_img/2.gif

lisacn · 19/04/2012 19:40

welcome gameover and becks

princessthank you for your support and big hugs, we have limited options, DH and I had a chat about adoption and that is definitely not an option for us.

lady there is no help available for me on the NHS re fertility, that is it!! It now comes down to what we can afford. If I get pregnant again the RMC will offer me scans but that is it.

artemis I know what you mean about them not having a back up plan. That is why I went to see Shetata privately.

pout there is nothing to discuss, I don't get anything from the NHS. I was expecting my mother to play up before my wedding but she certainly out did herself.

lemon thanks but I don't actually see my age as a problem (i don't think it helps) but I have managed to get pregnant twice in 5 months, I just don't understand why its not happening now, I wish I was 5 years younger but this is where I am.

wine thank you, like I said to lemon I don't think my age is a problem and certainly up until yesterday no one has said it was. I think I'm still in shock about it really

lisacn · 19/04/2012 19:47

becks people at my work know we are trying due to my 2 miscarriages, most of them don't ask how its going and will just wait for me to tell them. I feel like its all my fault that I lost my two babies, although my DH is totally amazing especially at the moment, he came home with a little GU treat for me :) Sometimes they just don't realise that we do need alot of support through all of this, big hugs x

whereismywine · 19/04/2012 20:23

Lisa you can conceive. I know that this hasn't had a happy ending yet, but (sorry to regale with second hand stories) a friend at work had 3 mc then her fourth preg is now a three year old cheeky boy. I really see this happening for you but it's hard isn't it thinking about ourselves the way others do.

gin sending you every positive vibe I possibly can.

euro the timeline is quite helpful. For any lurkers or interested mine is as follows.

April 2011 6 months of serious ttc I get day 21 prog tests. They are 32 but I knew cd21 was too early.
May 2011 day 21 (but actually cd23) prog 47. SA revealed 3%morphology but good count, average motility. Referred to fertility cons, because of SA and age.
August 2011 first fertility apt with nurse. 2nd SA 7% morphology, count good, motility now excellent. Mr Wine discounted as not a problem. u/s revealed an excellent womb. Little did we know.
Oct 2011 hycosy, failed due to closed cervix. FSH 9.5, told to do it again on day 3 not 5/6 (still haven't would rather not know til have to)
Dec 2011 Lap and dye, failed due to difficult cervix. Some dye passed tube but not enough to deem patency, but they look healthy. Large fibroid found, told by registrar it would come out feb/march as it was a concern and also probably responsible for making me ill and unable to conceive.
Jan 2012 repeat u/s no fibroid found, told all healthy.
Feb 2012 MRI
March 2012 MRI deemed healthy pelvis consultant at a loss and books to meet with radiology team. Warned that it may be inoperable and blocking any route to ivf/IUI
April 2012 review of u/s and MRI shows fibroid there all along.not blocking cervix but causing womb to retrovert. On waiting list for myomectomy to get the beast out.

I like seeing the timeline. Even though I've travelled nowhere since May!

cakes82 · 19/04/2012 20:28

Hi Everyone.
Hope you don't mind me lurking. I graduated from this thread in Feb 2012.
Quick history ttc since Oct 2010 GP and fertility referal about Sept 2011. Tests all ok mine and DH. Showed signs of PCO but bloods not really backing it up. Had HSG in Jan 2012 and BFP in Feb!
I'm now 16wks pg and everything is progressing well.

Hope some more of you graduate soon!!

whereismywine · 19/04/2012 20:36

Woo hoo cakes lovely to hear from you. So glad things are going well and that you're 16 weeks already. Enjoy every minute and do keep us updated.

joycep · 19/04/2012 21:23

lady - I do temp but i don't really at the beginning of my cycle. I use to and my temps also took a good 7 days to come down. I have often wondered whether my progesterone is also out of sync but I think we could possibly go mad thinking of all these things as how can we prove it?! It's so difficult deciding what to do isn't it. The NK thing does sound a good test to do if you have immune issues - just to rule it out. I hope you are able to completely switch off on holiday though.

pout - your poor dog. He sounds sooo cute. I want one!

Princess - i am sorry about your horrible scan today. I would agree with mrsd though and that they can do a lot for you. I know having an extra hurdle just makes everything so difficult though. Why does Marily Glenville ban dairy out of interest? Also totally concur with you about this thread. For me it has been a bit of life saver really. It's very hard when you don't have anyone you can confide in in real life and it is so nice having people to go through everything with you...albeit virtually.

game - welcome back but sorry nothing has happened for you. Great advice from your lovely GP - NOT. What is your next plan?

welcome becks - sorry you have found yourself here too. It is such a daunting journey but you have come to the right place for lots of support.

wine - big hug for you. I just want this all over for you.

gin - are you going to test now??

critter - oh i'm sorry you haven't ovulated yet...how long are your cycles usually...? you could still ovulate later couldn't you?

cakes - 16wks!! where does the time go?! that's fab news.

waves to everyone else i've missed.

MuddyWellyNelly · 19/04/2012 21:37

Hello ladies. Wow I just cannot keep up. I will try to go back a bit and see what I want to say!

Secret hobbling was fun last night and I was a bit wired as expected, so therefore didn?t have the concentration to sit down and read and reply properly last night. Then mega busy today even though working from home so no chance to catch up.

lemon I am glad you are enjoying shagging again properly! We are relatively ok about the enforced sex here, but then again we maybe concentrate far too much on shag week, so perhaps aren?t doing enough of it to get bored. There are times though when I really have to force myself to seem enthusiastic. I am glad your PiL are respecting your wishes. I am thankful again that I don?t live too near any of my parents, and also that we never told anyone about our issues. I do have to remember to hide my conception vits when people come to visit though.

mrsden I am impressed at the clinic tour and the fact they showed you the embies. It is amazing when you think about it, isn?t it. When it works, at least! That would be amazing if your insurance would pay at least in part. I?m sorry about the undeserved pregnancy. Gawd it really pees me off.

princess your parents sound, um, challenging. You can choose your friends, eh! Good luck with the flat viewing. Spoiling children by giving them a garden ? now I?ve heard it all! I?m glad you got a good doctor at last!

wine hooray for progress towards the removal of the broid. No wonder you have had so many weird pains. 4 months of not getting answers though ? streuth.

Hooray for holidays ladygee I think that?s a great plan.

Blimey lisa I missed the bit about your mum disowning you. And sorry about the crap doctor, though why am I not surprised. So much for bedside manner.

joyce boo on AF arriving in such an odd fashion. How very strange!

OK I?m only up to last night, I?m going to post this and try to catch up with today ? so apologies if anyone has posted anything dramatically different from the above :)

kittysaysmiaow · 19/04/2012 21:50

Hi everyone, our Internet is down so just doing a quick phone post to say hi. gin and euro I have my fingers crossed very firmly that you get the right outcomes from your treatment cycles.

Sorry to hear about af arrivals, crap doctors, unsympathetic family and friends, impending ops and general uncertainty. Ttc is so so tough but I truly believe that everyone on the thread will be successful, it's a matter of time.

AFM I'm just trying to manage all my pregnancy anxieties at the moment. Hope you don't mind if I join you in a bit of slightly wobbly tail feather shaking. Smile

MuddyWellyNelly · 19/04/2012 22:03

OK and now for today.

artemis I am equally Shock and Grin about your neighbours. You made me laugh about their ?names? but on the other hand I know that in reality it?s horribly sad to see kids shouted at all the time. I used to live in a bit of a rough area and we saw it all the time, it broke my heart. I too am about to run out of NHS time. I turn 38 later this year and that would appear to be it, which is ironic as I?ve had no more than 2 blood tests so far. Hooray for my 40% tax contributions, eh? Hope your tail feathers have perked up.

pout glad you have something to give all that motherly love to ? I?m the same with the cats! Ours kept chewing the hair at the top of her tail. We ended up taking her to the vet for a steroid jab. Made her really zonked for about 3 days which is a worrying side effect, but then she perked up again and the hair has grown back. I think it just broke the cycle that may have been started when a rogue cat came in and gave them fleas Hmm LOL at you having to use your sportswear for exercise - heaven forbid!! unfortunately my sportswear is even tighter than my normal clothes, so I really might have to buy jogging shite.

3 month booze ban princess. Wow. I feel ashamed of the fact I think I?ve managed 2 weeks tops. I have massively cut down though. Grin at masterbatorium. But also Envy

princesschick · 19/04/2012 22:24

Hi to the newbies and thanks again for hugs, kind words and general support. Marilyn Glenville's the queen of natural solutions to various womenly conditions. She's not a hippy lady but has a phd from Cambridge and writes in a v.accesible way. My reflexologist (also has a diploma in nutrition) recommended her and she has all sorts of recommendations from people like the PCOS charity. I'm not any sort of promoter or anything, I just like to attack things in a natural way and I found her book in Waterstones post scan today. I'm a bit obsessive about buying and reading books on stuff as it helps me deal with things in a more rational and structured way. Anyway, she recommends cutting out dairy for 3 months as "milk, cheese, butter contain a substance called insulin-like growth factor, which is similar in structure to insulin. Its insulin-like properties mean it can stimulate the storage of glucose in fat cells, and can trigger increased production of testosterone" I'm seeing a nutritional therapist next week so I'll see what she has to say on the matter. But it can't hurt in the meantime. The book I've got is called Natural solutions to PCOS. I'm not using my reflexologist for nutrition stuff but going to a more qualified lady who specialises in fertility. Right, I'm going to watch QT with a glass of iced lemon water and organic chamomile tea (no milk, no decaf tea. I don't fancy trying the non dairy milks I have in the fridge tonight) Tail feather is drooped and will hopefully perk up after a good nights sleep xxx

beckslovestimmy · 19/04/2012 22:32

Hi to everyone who's said hi. You all seem like amazing ladies and I look forward to continuing on my TTC journey with you all. AF is looming for me Sad but atleast once it's here I can get on and book my scan and PCT and feel like I'm actually doing something positive. Good luck to everyone! X

Frannieannie · 19/04/2012 23:08

Hi, just a v v quick in bed post to say hello and so that you don't think I have gone AWOL (can't get rid of me that easily!). Can't catch up now but intend to when I have lots of time at the weekend. Welcome to the newbies! Nice to meet you!

As my 2ww obsessing is now over I have moved on- a couple of nights ago I dreamt about euro and gin's 2ww! FFS!! 12 days of my own was clearly not enough torture!
Night! X

joycep · 19/04/2012 23:42

Princess - is the giving up dairy particularly for pcos? I have always been confused about dairy and its role in fertility. Some people say give it up whereas in ivf you are suppose to drink loads of milk. I can never work out whether it is good or bad for you. Oh dear thinking too much again and I'm sure all my dairy habits aren't the culprit.

I've got the jubilee week off and am going to surprise hubby with a trip away as he will have finished work by theN . It has to be cheap - any ideas, any great places you have been and would recommend (not a city though)?!