Angels and Rainbows - The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. But it can provide colour and hope.

[Whatevertheweather]

“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counter balance of color, energy and hope.

Thinking of you and Zoe blizy xx

Thinking of you today Blizy and of Zoe xx

Another here lighting a candle for Zoe and blizy.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and well wishes today.

Well after my initial melt down this morning i focused on celebrating Zoe. Dh and I took her balloons to the crematorium and let the wind take them to Zoe. It was so very peaceful and calming. I baked a fab birthday cake. Our wonderful friends delivered a huge bouquet of pink flowers and a little inscribed plaque.
However, unsurprisingly I have not heard a peep from my family today.

Zoe has made me the person I am today, she has made me stronger in a way that I didn't think possible. She has inspired dh and I to get married, we really are so very happy with each other and I would not be here today without him. I am no longer the little wallflower who is afraid to speak up for herself. She has taught me so much in her very short life and I am eternally grateful and very proud to call Zoe my daughter.

ciwi I am thinking of you tonight and tomorrow. I hope you manage to sleep well tonight. Can't wait to hear your birth announcement! x

Blizy, that's beautiful! Bless you, little Zoe.

Ciwi, hope you sleep tonight - will be waiting with baited breath tomorrow for a birth announcement!

Oh Blizy what beautiful words, bought a tear to my eye - Zoe will be so proud of you and dh today. Her wonderful, inspirational and brave parents. I'm sorry your family have overlooked the day. It sounds like you and your friends have honoured her perfectly today.

Ciwi eeek! You must be so excited/anxious this evening Good luck tomorrow - can't wait to hear your BA

Fan yay for the baby rats They are very sweet. I hope the distraction they provide from swi has positive results.

Good to hear from you Trickle but sorry to hear of your house worries. I work in financial services so if you want to PM me with any questions please feel free. When is your 12 week scan?

2 sleeps until my scan - eeek! Very busy at work so that is helping take my mind of it. Hope everyone else is doing okay xx

blizy that's really lovely. It's sad when family don't bother, dh's family have been the same on and off and it's so hard not to care. I'm trying to just let things wash over me now and not let things bother me but it's difficult. Sounds like a really beautiful day and ways to remember Zoe xx

ciwi so looking forward to reading about baby being born! Really excited for you :o xx

whatever good luck for your scan, hope all goes well xx

blizy I often say that about Ciaran, he has made me the person I am today. Sorry your family haven't been supportive today, lovely gesture from your friends though x
wtw good luck with your scan, bet it can't come quick enough x
I am a mix of excited and nervous, just want him here now. I am not sure if I can get on the Internet in the hospital but I will update you all when I can. I go in first thing but have been told I won't probably deliver till Thursday. Will be thinking of you all x

Ciwi can t wait to hear your news. Good luck xxxx
Blizy sounds a lovely way to celebrate your Zoe & you re exactly how I feel I wouldn y be or have what I have now without my Georgie ... These rainbow babies are a tough act to follow.
Fan glad you got your " babies" & hope you re enjoying them.
Hi everyone else hope you re all well? We re all good all fine here plodding on. Many changes on the jobs front for both me & ant long stories I ll fill in the gaps later.
Just to say hi xxxx

Whatever good luck for your scan xx

Thanks Too
blizy brave words and a beautiful way to mark your daughter's birthday. X
ciwi can't wait to hear the news, good luck x
fan hope nutmeg and biscuit are settling in well! And glad to gear you sounding happier and chilled out about things. I'm trying to avoid DH at the moment, he's very critical of anything I say or do these days so it's best to just keep quiet for now at least. Not sure where we're heading tbh. I'm just concentrating on staying calm for the baby's sake.
Hi Angel, wtw, cheesse and trickle hi again.
Right, must get some sleep x

August think a lot of us have been there ... Relationship problems, well, I certainly have . It's probably documented on here somewhere!!! I was 99% towards divorcing Ant earlier this year but luckily we re working at our relationship. It never fails to amaze me after all thus time together how he can still be so selfish until I came to realise men, in general , I m sure they ll be exceptions to the rule somewhere !!! Are selfish, self centred & generally the opposite of women!!! There lays the problem : they re not us!!!
Hope you can sort thongs out 1 way or the other. It's wearing.... Take care xxxx

Thongs??? If it helps!!! Stupid phone!!! That meant to say things. Xxx
Whatever works though!!

angel that is so true men are selfish, mine can be. But I make sure I tell him when he is, it has worked and he seams to be less so latley. But I know very soon it will raise its head again. I think it doesn't help that he was brought up in a male household with an extremely selfish mother aswell.

ciwi good luck, can't wait to hear your news!

Lovely thoughts and words blizy, Zoe will be smiling down so happy that she had you as a mummy. Take care.
Welcome baby fan rats
Good luck ciwi, we await the blue announcement excitedly
wtw thinking of you, enjoy your scan.
august so sorry you are still low and so lost about dh, you sound so alone, I really hope you have some support in RL.

Hello to everyone else, hope things are good. Do you have a new job angel?

blizy was thinking of you and Zoe yesterday but didn't get a chance to post. Your words about her are very moving. Such a loved and special little girl xx

ciwi very excited for you today. Can't wait to hear. Love to you xx

august so sorry you're having such a rough time just now, really hope you can sort things.

Hi guys got consultant 2mo find out date 4 c sec xx blizy sounds lovely wat u done for ur lil angel all our angels were probably havin a tea party with her as my nieces say to me all the angels r havin fun on the clouds as they r giant bouncy castles xx

Razz job situation for both of us complicated at the moment!! I applied for a band 6 at Bham clinic got an interview rung up about the hours & they are crap 3 long days + 1 normal day. However, with the commute I would be out of the house for 12+ hours a day , not what I want.Also when I spoke to the manage the role is specialist sister/healt advisior & it appeared there would be a lot if HIV work which bores me. Where I am now we have a HIV nurse & just occasionally we fill in , taking bloods etc... But it just doesn t interest me so I spoke to the manager & withdrew my application. She was lovely & understood my reasons why. So, that was that I have resigned myself to stay at my clinic for now ; it's easy , I have good colleagues & brill hours but there are a few issues that remain unresolved & have dine for quite some time that annoy me , that I feel I will have to " whistleblow" on & you that are nurses know how that is frowned upon & we re our own worst enemies.
Then yesterday a band 7 has come up at a clinic about 5 miles from my parents , 30 hours which is what I want so I need to mentally pschye myself up to applying, interviewing etc....
Ant got a temp post at a government charity as HR officer was told Otho ally was for 10 months , started then found out would , in fact, have to apply for the 10 month post!!! Loved it there: the people,hours & work . Then attended our local council last week for an interview for temp post ; got that but is only for 4 weeks so declined it. The manager from HR sept rung him , bypassing the agency , to confirm although this post is tempary in April they will ve advertising for a permanent HR officer & would stand him in better stead to be working there already. So , long story short; agonised all week then left the charity in good terms started at council on Monday & hates it!!!
All he's doing for next 4 weeks is auditing , is really boring & no one talks... However, it's 10 minutes up the road & can do flex time.
If he's still there when I return to work it's 5 mins from my work &5 mins from Pheb's nursery. Plus only £10 a week in petrol whereas the other job is £100 a month commuting.
Phewee!!!! Our heads are spinning!!! Every time we settle down something happens!!!!
At least I m in the nice position of taking my time to look for another job , I m not being made redudent so don t have to panic!!!
Bet you wish you had never asked!!!! Just as your mat leave starts or will start soon. xxx
Hi all xxx

Popping in to check for news from Ciwi. Hope all is going really well, you've had a really short labour and are now snuggled up with your new little man!

Angel, sounds v complicated and like Ant's still not entirely happy, but at least it's a job. I work for a council too and the short hours and flexi time are a godsend - make up for a lot! FX you get this job near your parents - good luck!

Vicky, hope you get the date you want. Has the consultant said yet when they will be looking to do the CS? Mine is happening at 37 weeks exactly.

Razz, how are you feeling? Is it today you see the consultant to discuss delivery options? Hope everything is ok.

Only 1 sleep til your scan now, Wtw! Good luck!

Fan, your rat babies would be scared of me - last night I killed a mouse with the frying pan! I picked the pan up and the mouse was hiding behind it and I smacked it. V dead mouse, ick! Am strangely impressed with myself.

Right, I'd better go and clean up a bit. Mum's coming down tonight to take me to the hospital tomorrow for my consultant appt, and the house is a tip.

He said 36 , 37 weeks so it b in the nxt two or three weeks exciting stuff but still bit nervous as im 35 weeks sat gta get through that im sure the baby will b fine his very active xx

Hello ladies
Isnt it exciting waiting for news from ciwi!!!
angel that does sound complex!! What a shame Ant is not keen on his new job, at least as you say it is more secure. The job near your parents, would that mean relocating?? Im sure I remember you saying that was you eventual goal?!?!
too today was my consultant appointment, he is so good that I could just kiss him!! I am being admitted tonight to have steroid injections and he has brought my section date forward to the 16th when I will be 35 weeks. I have been told (sternly) by him that I am to take things easy and NOT go into labour or rupture my waters before then. It may be hard for things not to happen as I am fit to burst!!!

That's great, Razz! Getting the steroid injections so soon will be a great relief. He's quite right - you must not exert yourself in any way whatsoever! Have you got plenty of help at home?

Vicky, exciting stuff indeed! Lots of new babies in the next few weeks - mine included (FX, touching wood and so on).

Come on Ciwi, you can do it!

Razz that's excellant news xxx rest up then xxx
Too hope your appt is ok tomorrow.
Vicky great everything's going your way. X
Razz yes , working for the council with flexi time seems to be great , particularly for nursery runs!!!
Hope Ciwi is ok?
For whoever asked??? ( my baby brain is kicking in!!) yes, my parents live in the West Midlands & that's where we are wanting to re-locate to.
Love to all xxxx

Razz the 16th!! So exciting, a real countdown now Please keep on resting lots!

Too good luck for your appt tomorrow

Hope all going well Ciwi xx

Had a report today from the oncology pathologists about Erin's tumours. Sounds like we will never know exactly what type of cancer it was or where it started. Their best guess is a heptoblastoma which may have began in her liver. It was hard reading the report and to be honest came at a bad time the night before the scan. Brings all. The bad things back in to sharp focus. 'D'p being a bit of twat as well. I got upset and said I was feeling really anxious about tomorrow and he basically said 'oh great complete lack of optimism then. I really don't want to talk about any of this'. Lovely, nice to know we can share our concerns. I never mention the pregnancy at all I just thought tonight maybe we could have a cuddle and reassure each other a bit. Gah! Maybe we should send them off together August