mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

Sorry, didn't mean to freak you out. Don't expect you'll believe it until about 28 weeks!

Ooooh that all sounds v positive (no pun intended!) Fingers crossed for you :-)

I think my line was even fainter this morning, and that was a first response test. They've booked me in for a scan in 2 weeks but I'm not holding my breath and the nurse sounded more cautious that optimistic on the phone

Damn and bugger

Oh what a rollercoaster. Stay positive Caiphirinas. Sending you a virtual hug !!

xxx

caipirinhas I'm sorry, but don't give up hope yet. Sending you a hug also. Xx

I'm fed up. Tested yet again this morning and could just about make out a line. I was half expecting a negative which would have at least been an answer but suspect I'll get one tomorrow.
Those if you who have had IVF before, how soon did AF arrive? My EC was 19 days ago

I'm having lunch with girlfriends today. We assumed people would realise a girls lunch meant leave kids at home but one of our friends was asking about high chairs so we tried to pick somewhere that sounded child unfriendly. Last thing I want today is having her 2 there being passed round

How is everyone else? Anyone got anything chirpy to report?

On a positive note we might finally be back in our lounge next weekend after almost a year of diy and decorating

Xxxx

Caiphirinas I really don't want to encourage false hope but the fact that you are getting any sort of line does suggest that there is some HSG. Will your clinic not do a blood test which will be more accurate ? I really do feel for you. This is all bloody hard enough without having 'inconclusive' results too. Take good care of yourself (go and lounge around in your new lounge !)

After my IVF AF arrived almost immediately after I stopped the progesterone (which will delay it). On round one I carried on with the progesterone for about three days after our BFN just in case the result changed. On round two I didn't even bother to call the clinic and just stopped immediately ...

I do have something chirpy to report. It's my Dad's 60th this weekend so we went out to a magic night last night. I'd been before - but still enjoyed it. If anyone is looking for an 'unusual' night out then google 'Simon Drake House of Magic' (it's in London). He used to be on television when I was at school so over 20 years ago (programme was called the Secret Cabaret - used to be on after The Word). Tickets are quite expensive (£75) so save it for a special treat !!!

Anyhow, must get on. Sorry for lack of personals but Lesley how are things going with you ?

Have a good weekend all xx

God, I really feel for you, Caipirinhas - have been checking the thread on tenterhooks so you must be so strung out. Just don't go to lunch if you don't feel like it; you have the world's best excuse. Enjoy your new lounge.

I spike to the clinic on Friday and they didn't offer a blood test. I'm starting to feel a bit cranky but haven't had any spotting yet which I would normally get before the cramping
lunch yesterday was ok, although the ones without kids all dropped out and then the one I thought would did turn up with her 2. They completely took over and just wanted to leave but luckily they stayed an hour max and so me and friend who knows about the ivf went round the shops and I found a very expensive dress to buy
me and DH went for dinner and a film last night. Saw this is 40 which is some of the same characters from knocked up. It was funny but of course the woman got pregnant in it!

Hello all!

Sorry I've not logged on for a while and it's been so busy!!

caiprinhas how are you doing? On my two rounds of ivf I got my period within a couple of days of getting negative tests & stopping progesterone support - about 17 days post collection. How frustrating your clinic doesn't do blood tests. Knowing your HCG level & what it does over 48-72 hours is really your only way to guess what's going on. There is always hope though. Keep us posted. Sending u positive sticky vibes x

I've had a crappy weekend - been googling 'how do you know if you should leave your husband! He's been all grunts & hangovers this weekend, which after a crappy wedding anniversary (he went out to a gig) and valentines (we went for a bite & a drink but he mainly played with his sodding phone). We never seem to have fun together anymore & i just miss my friends in the uk so much, i've been here nearly 3 years but just not settled. I'm starting to think we should postpone ivf round 3. I know it's partly cos I'm depressed & lonely but it's also partly down to him. In other less gloomy news, I went to see some kittens this morning & may adopt one! Am I going loopy or what?

Right- weekly rant over. Hope you're all doing well & had more fun/exciting weekends! capirinhas I'm typing with crossed fingers & toes that u had a darker line today xx

Oh Lesley I feel for you. Is your husband British or Australian?

I've re-read my post and it was meant to say spoke and crampy not cranky.
I did another test today and a sane person would say it was negative, I say I can just about see the faintest of lines but even if I can they're def going backwards.

Xx

Did u test again this morning? Hope you're ok.

Sorry we must have posted at same time!
Bugger, bugger, bugger - was praying you'd get strong line today. Seems fitting for you to be first to get off the shit boat (and hopefully start an avalanche of change of luck for us all!). I still think it will happen this way, caps leading the charge, even if it's not this month. The day by day testing was a killer I found. Going to the loo became a nerve wrecker. But f**k, we are so strong to survive & keep going. Hope you're doing ok.
My husband is aussie. He's making a bit of effort tonight, but all this ttc bollox has made me a pretty antisocial killjoy. Meanwhile he does a good impression of an emu - head in sand. Or am I mixing that up with another dumb bird?!?
Xx
Ps month 2 on DHEA and I have acne & greasy hair. Noice!

Thanks lesley. What's DHEA? Period and killer pain have now arrived. Am fine about it, was upset yesterday but resigned to it today.

So now we plan a holiday somewhere hot and far away and then figure out when we want to start a frozen cycle. I think I need at least 3 or 4 months off from messing with my body and mind before we do anything else

Xx

So sorry, Caipirinhas. That is rubbish.

Really sorry Caipirinhas :( xx

Caiphirinas I'm so sorry. What cycle of IVF was this? Hang in there bud xxxx

I'm sorry too Caiphirinas. Have some . I think you more than deserve a nice holiday xx

Have some too Lesley. I don't think the emotional aspects of any of this can be underestimated. The pressures of IVF have got to us too. It's impossible for it not to. At one point towards the end of last year I also almost thought we were on the brink of splitting up (what started out as a trivial exchange of snapped words over a broken zip in DP's jacket (!) ended up in a HUGE argument over whether or not to embark on a third round of IVF). Ironically, we are now embarking on our third round DP is really positive about it .... (in fact, probably more positive than I am ....)

(And just in case you are wondering the broken zip which started our argument was taken out and replaced by a 'seamstress'. She has done an AWFUL job but charged £20 for the pleasure).

Like you Lesley I've managed to isolate myself from all bar a handful of friends (and it's no coincidence that those friends are childless or male). It's very lonely. I think - or certainly for me - the longer this goes on the more it becomes about not just having a baby but also the change in lifestyle that will come with it. And the pressure of that is immense.

Oh god, this is turning into a really dreary post. And I'm actually in quite a good mood. In fact, I've just had a glass of champagne (good job I stopped at a glass. If I'd had a bottle you would be getting pages and pages of my inner thoughts !)

Hope everyone else is well. In fact, all have some . Am feeling generous ...

Enjoy what's left of the weekend xx

That's really shit capirinhas. I'm really sorry. Sounds like a good plan to give your mind & body a rest, and plot a truly fabulous holiday. I know the world is full of miracle stories & you're probably sick to the back teeth of them but a friend of a friend back home was told she had no chance due to poor quality eggs, she even did a donor egg round & nothing. Then fell pregnant naturally & went on to have 2 girls! You were whisper close & responded so well to the treatment. It's got to be your turn v v soon.

Thanks so much for zip story missbrightside! It made me chuckle & feel like less of a freak for not having the most romantic/passionate of relationships of late. You're spot on about the whole lifestyle consequences of it all. In London I at least had lots of single girlfriends & gay male friends. Here in Oz it's bloody families & pregnant people everywhere!!! But I guess my perspective on London would be different if I was actually living there again. Blurgh. When do you start round 3? We might be cycle buddies? I go for my day 21 appt on wednesday. V apprehensive about it all as our last two rounds were so bad, scared this could be worse...

Had another insensitive announcement over the weekend, so tonight I'm off to see some live music & drink some wine or is there an [fuck it] emoticon?!?

Ps DHEA is a steroid type drug - my new clinic told me to take it for at least 6 weeks before IVF to try & improve my egg quality (I didn't get anything to freeze in either round & only 1 to transfer). They also suggested a growth hormone but it was crazy expensive so sticking with DHEA for now (despite acne & greasy hair!). Might contemplate growth hormone if we decide are crazy enough to attempt a fourth round...

Not Now (or anyone else who might know) Can I ask you how long you have been told to take off after your hysterescopy & laparoscapy ?

I'm now having both procedures done on a Thursday in early March. Asked the doctor who will be doing it if I'd need time off afterwards and she more or less said 'not really'. Had in the back of my mind that I could ring in sick on the Friday if need be.

I've just asked Dr Google and there are tons of women saying that they were signed off sick for 2 weeks after theirs. Really ? I definitely can't take that sort of time off as unbeknown to my boss I intend to get signed off sick for my next IVF round

(PLUS I've got theatre tickets on the Saturday (booked months ago) and am seeing Harry Hill the following week. And I'm not missing Harry Hill for any bugger )

Am I being naive about this ????

xx

I think it depends what 'work' they have to do. I went into it thinking it would be like egg collection, quick early morning procedure then bit groggy and basically ok to chill & watch bad tv all afternoon. But my lap & hysto in Oct turned out to be way more involved but I had been told before I had a septum in my uterus that needed correcting but I didn't really understand what that would mean. My op was the Wednesday, I had to take Tuesday off to do 'bowel prep' (and yes, that was as delightful as it sounds), my op turned out to be nearly 3 hours & then I couldn't stop being sick after so they kept me in overnight, Thursday I was on full bed rest & was in quite a lot of pain and couldn't move around much, Friday I stayed in bed but felt a bit better then weekend I was just taking it easy. Back to work Monday. I then had some probs with heavy bleeding & had to try various drug combos to stop it & help healing. I don't want to scare you but I wished I'd known a bit more what I was in for. That said I think if everything checks out fine (no major 'work' required), you may well be happily watching tv & eating cake by lunchtime same day! Good luck & keep us posted on how it goes.

I really don't know - I'm expecting to be a bit 'uncomfortable' for a couple of days but my mum has been making dark mutterings about recovery time etc. I'm lucky because I've been able to link mine to the beginning of the school holidays. Sadly this means that the IVF bit may fall bang in the middle of GCSE season, which won't be good for the 'just relax' approach then. I'm still in limbo, though, just waiting for it all to get started.

Yours sounds pretty harrowing, Lesley. Going to try not to think about that! You've done well to get yours sorted so quickly, Brightside. Let us know how you get on.

Oh god, it sounds horrendous !!!!! I'm a bit worried about it now !!!! I will blank it out my mind ....

I'm having it done in London. I was planning on just going on my own - but was told they won't discharge you unless someone 'collects' you. So DP is going to come up after work. We planned to go to China Town for a chinese after ...........

Have a good day everyone xxx

Shit sorry! Mine was voice of doom wasn't it? I had been told I had a problem (despite 3 other Drs missing it!) and once they were in it turned out to be a really bad septum so it was really to be expected. If yours are just quick 'check & tidy', I'm sure it will be really straightforward & like egg collection, you'll be right as rain within a couple of hours.

capirinhas how are you doing? Are you back at work?