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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after miscarriage - A New Start to a New Year x x x

842 replies

diddle · 06/01/2006 15:43

Ok ladies, here we go a nice new thread for us to share our fears and smiles on.

Lets keep smiling and positive, and make sure that this is a Happy year for everyone.

Life is far too short to waste, and after such a rough year for most of us last year, lets make 2006 an extra special one x x x

OP posts:
FirstNikki · 09/01/2006 17:05

Hi G4P glad everyone was lovely for you and it does get easier as time goes on at work, be prepared to give it time. x

petunia · 09/01/2006 17:05

Just popped on to see how you're all doing and WOW! Congratulations Hellkat! So for you.

peepee · 09/01/2006 18:32

Who's around tonight?

Carameli · 09/01/2006 18:49

I am around on and off for a little bit, in the process of making my yummy shepheards pie, its in the over now.
dh and dd also want brussels with it(or baby cabbages as we have got her calling them) she likes the name and eats them amazingly so leaving it like that for now

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 19:42

I'm here too - finally!

Well I had my meeting with mt tutor (BTW Carameli, I'm doing an Access course to then go on to do a midwifery degree ) And it went really well. My Personal Statement was perfest and didn't need changing at all!! What a clever girl I am!! So my UCAS form has gone off and hopefully I will get an interview! Please all cross your fingers for me!

Charlee · 09/01/2006 19:45

Hi, i only joined you a few days ago so heres my first post.

Its 8.41 in the morning here and ds is sitting next to me stuffing his face so i got a little time to post! Im due on thursday no signs of anything yet although i did have a very watery light bleed this morning probably means af's on its way although you never know.

Hope everyones doing ok tonight

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 19:49

Charlee - I presume you are in the states. Where abouts ?

Charlee · 09/01/2006 19:50

No imin Nez Zealand just outside Auckland but im coming home to the UK on the 25th Jan.

jane313 · 09/01/2006 19:52

hello everyone. Can I join up? Am currently having a miscarriage. Will go to Drs to confirm but as I have had many friends whoh ave had multiple miscarriages I have heard a lot about them. Am only 6 weeks pregnant but have been trying for 7 months so feel pretty devestated at the moment and have been crying all pm. I have on ds who is 2.5 and was conceived first go so am luckier than many. As I am 39 I had started to have fertility tests and they thought I may not be ovulating. Saw a private consultant which is costing a fortune but couldn't stand waiting for 4 months to see NHS one. Will have to go back there and have all those tests (ultrasound hsg etc)

Charlee · 09/01/2006 19:54

Oh jane im sorry, weall know what your going through im sure your more than welcomeon here, it is devistating but were all here if you need to talk.

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 19:57

Charlee - sorry me and my over active brain! Just coz I got on well at college today I think I'm brain of Britain! And if you are coming home can I have your house in NZ!!

Jane - I am so sorry to hear whats going on at the mo. But you have come to the right place. All of us on here have suffered MCs at various stages -some early others later. We have all suffered the heartache and the grief but we like to think we are able to support each other with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend. We also like to have a laugh, and, although that might not be what you wnat right now, we found it to be the best medicine. We keep each other sane, well some more sane than others (Peepee will tell you that!!) I really hope you are okay and thigs aren't too nasty. But if you need to talk, however detailed (we don't mind TMI) we are here. I hope you can find some comfort from us.
I'm glad you are not alone in this though, having had friends who have been unfortunate. I hope they can help you too. What time are you seeing the doctor tomorrow?

jane313 · 09/01/2006 20:02

Thanks everyone. I will ring tomorrow am as they have an open surgery system. My Dh is being completely crap though. He didn't even come home early from work even though I rang him crying. He can't seem to deal with any emotions I have about it and it doesn't seem to affect him.

Carameli · 09/01/2006 20:11

jane: I am so sorry. I too had a mc at the same time as you in Sept, so still remember the feelings all too well. Like you as well I have a dd who is 2 1/4, conceived 1st go as well.
I have started to try again and just waiting.

Like the others have said, this is a gerat place to talk about how you are feeling.
(((((hugs)))))

Coathanger: good for you, well certainly need more midwives in this country.

Carameli · 09/01/2006 20:16

jane: just to add seeing your last post, my dh also found it really hard to connect emotionally with how I was feeling. We talked about it for ages, but he said he felt really sad about it all, but aminly because it was happening to me and what I was going through. He could not actually see it as a lost baby.
Don't let it get to you, we are so emotionally and phsically involved with this sort of thing, ts bound to really affect us much more.

I cried for at least a week, so much. But it was a great way of really getting it out of my system and not bottling feelings up.

jane313 · 09/01/2006 20:19

thanks, yes that sounds like mine. But just feel angry at the moment cos he admitted he was staying at work just to avoid it all. Whereas my first impulse in his position would be to rush home. Still my ds was lovely had kept kissing me and telling me not to be frightened. Then we had ice cream and chocolate sauce together.

peepee · 09/01/2006 20:45

Jane I am so sorry . Like CH said, you have come to the right place. We have all been there. Don't get wound up at DH's reaction. Our men are all strange beings. They never no what to do in these situations. My DH has explained to me that it is so hard for them as they feel as though it is something they have done to us and that we would not be experiencing the loss if they had never got us pregnant. In other words they feel that because of them we go through all the pain. They do not expereince anything. I am sure that he is too shocked and saddened by this and just doesn't want you to see it. They are supposed to be the strong ones and there to support us! That's how they see themselves.

))))))))))))))))))))))HUGS((((((((((((((((((((((

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 20:49

Aww bless ds xxx Your husband probably just doesn't know how to handle the situation and, although it isn't the best thing to do, thought it better to stay away instead of doing or saying the wrong thing around you, if that makes sense. Like Carameli says, men take these things in a different way. They don't have a bond with the baby like we do, their fears and worrys are for us. Bless him, he is probably so scared of doing something wrong.

I know how you feel though. My DH didn't acknowledge the fact I had lost our baby, but he was so good to me and cared for me because, as he said at the time, he hated seeing me go through this.
MAke sure you make that appointment tomorrow. We will be here til you do and we will try to help you out.
xxxxxxxxxxx

Carameli - I have a long time til I qualify, if I qualify but I would like to think I would be a good MW (sorry, does that sound conceited? )

peepee · 09/01/2006 20:53

Hello CH what u doing?

I have just finished sorting out some special packages. Gonna go and ruin someones New Year [wink

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 20:58

oo-er!! What packages might they be Peepee!!?? Is it work related??

I'm sat here bored out my brain - DH has to work tonigh after all - should have been on a course today which meant he was at home tonight but he couldn't do the course - cock up on his employers part. So he ended up going to London and them coming straight back Poor bloke. So he's off to work - boring! And no BDing either!

peepee · 09/01/2006 20:58

I have given up on the ovulating kits. they are far to expensive. My test date this month is the 25th. I hate not being able to test when I want. I used to wait for at least 5 to six days after AF and test. This makes it so clinical. No real excitement there anymore. Never mind.
I have been really good for a while now. Skirts feel a bit looser. I have not weighed myself so don't know how much I have lost (if anything). I would just get depressed if I weighed myself. Even when the doc has been weighing me I look away. They never say anything.

peepee · 09/01/2006 21:00

Yes they are work related.

Can't say too much.

Did your Dh get caught up in the tube strike. I didn't have any problems at all

peepee · 09/01/2006 21:01

Where have u gone?

peepee · 09/01/2006 21:02

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 21:04

awww, mate I know what you mean about testing every month! I was doing that when I was trying for number 1. It was so nice with 2 and 3 to test once I was late and it was a nice surprise. I have never bothered with OV kits TBH. They are so expensive and half the time don't work. Save yer money, I say!! Besides, nappies cost money

I would say,as well that you have probably lost shed loads of weight seeing as you have been dieting for a while yet - and you have been doing really well.

Coathanger · 09/01/2006 21:05

Sorry typing with 1 hand - got DS3 asleep in my arms so slow to type