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Conception

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I thought it took a while?

65 replies

ImJustABloke · 16/11/2011 10:00

ImJustABloke but ... I thought getting pregnant took a while? We've only just started trying and she's pregnant after a week. This might sound ridiculous, because I should be glad that we're able to conceive, but I was really looking forward to being woken up at 4am because she was ovulating, or slipping home for a quicky in our lunch breaks. Not just because I wanted more sex (although, yeah to be fair, I did) but also because I don't feel like we've earnt it if that makes any sense?
Do I need help for feeling like this?

OP posts:
KatAndKit · 16/11/2011 16:01

The result from the cb digis fades from the display after 48 hours as the battery runs out. However, if she took a pic of it you will never know when she did the test. Why not get her to do another one, buy one and say you want to see that the conception indicator has gone up for "reassurance"?

popcornmouse might be onto something there!

nickelbabe · 16/11/2011 16:03

ah, but if she took a pic of it, he'll know exactly when she did the test!
all he has to do is find the file of the photo, and it will record the date that the photo was taken.
then he knows he's got a 48 hour window on that.

ImJustABloke · 16/11/2011 16:05

KatandKit, and extremely helpful post thank you.
We used a condom on the morning before the day I left, which was the 20th.
She's not on the pill, so it could be that 3% chance or the user error thing. Not sure.
I am a little worried, given the amount of information Kit gave me just then, that paternity is something to at least consider.
I've no reason to suspect anything, other than I was gone for almost 2 weeks. I think everything is fine between us.
So again... kinda confused, and kinda concerned if it wasn't the 3rd then (from everything everyone has said) and you know how the mind works, trying to piece together previously insignificant things, like my not actually having seen the positive test, kinda just make me feel... welll... crappy.
I'll take a time-out to think and get back to this :-/

OP posts:
KatAndKit · 16/11/2011 16:09

Well good luck. I'd say don't doubt that you are the father if you don't have good reason to. Just say you'd like to do another test while you are there as you missed out on being part of that. Report back with the results.
I would say perhaps the idea that you have had an unplanned pregnancy and she was scared to tell you is quite possible, so she said lets try to see how you would feel about having a baby.

nickelbabe · 16/11/2011 16:10

well, there you go.
condoms are not fully effective.
even if you use them properly, there's still a chance it didn't work.

Pozzled · 16/11/2011 16:11

I don't think you could possibly use this as a reason to suspect your DP- not if you have no other reason to think anything's wrong. I'm still betting that she got pregnant before you went away.

FWIW with my DD1 If I counted back 38 weeks from my due date (i.e. the supposed conception time) my DH was away for about three days. However, there was absolutely NO doubt about paternity, I think we just enjoyed seeing each other very much when he returned. Grin

LoveInAColdClimate · 16/11/2011 16:14

Do try not to stress too much, OP. FWIW, my 12 week scan moved my due date to a date which would have meant I had conceived at a time where (a) I certainly hadn't ovulated and (b) we hadn't had sex. The whole thing is riddled with margins of error. Good luck.

farfallarocks · 16/11/2011 16:19

So did you have the conversation about trying for a baby whilst you were away then?
You used a condom before you left but not when you got back?
So you had this coversation on the phone? Confused

ImJustABloke · 17/11/2011 14:51

yes...
...devious little so and so...

can't remember who posted it, but you were right, she was trying to pull the wool over my eyes a bit there. she found out i was pregnant while i was away and then had the chat with me to see how i felt and was relieved when I was excited about trying. I told her I wished she was just honest, and she ended up crying and saying she was sorry and was just so worried what I'd say etc.
We've been together for years and married for half a year so I don't know what she was so worried about it - oh, and that's why she jumped me so many times recently, not sure whether to tell me she knew/suspected, or to just make me think that we'd done it swiftly after the conversation....... sigh

I don't know how far along she is, she seems to think it's a week or so past her period now. I've asked her to get another test with a time indicator on it, and do it >with me around< this time, as opposed to calling and texting me pictures etc. I suppose a drs trip is imminent also?

I still feel like I've been cheated out of a bucket-load of sex though, but feel better about the dates not tying up, even if it was a faulty condom or whatever that's happened here. I'll take it as it comes.

Either way, happy news.

OP posts:
KatAndKit · 17/11/2011 15:05

You can still have sex even when you are not trying to conceive you know! Even pregnant women can still have sex if they want to! you haven't been cheated out of anything, if you are happy about the baby, then count yourself lucky it has been an easy ride to getting pregnant not a long and hard one.

I'm glad you have managed to sort everything out. Remember the time indicator ones are not an accurate science, and the doctors will only be interested in when her last period was really. But if you do a conception indicator thingy, it will probably say 3+, which equals five weeks pregnant. (that means the baby was conceived about three weeks ago, possibly resulting from sex between 3 and 4 weeks ago) of course, she could be further along than that, but these tests don't go past 3+. The scan will tell you in good time.

As for the doctors. There is no real need to see a GP. Generally, what happens is the woman goes to the doctors, and asks the receptionist to make a booking in appointment with the midwife. This is usually done at around 8 weeks or so since the last period. But there is no harm in seeing the GP if she, or you for that matter, have any questions.

And since all's well that ends well, don't be too cross with her. She might have been rather devious but it is frightening for a woman to be confronted with an unplanned pregnancy, no matter how good your relationship is. I guess she was worried you would not have wanted to continue with the pregnancy, especially if you hadn't talked about kids before. She should have been honest definitely, but I think you should probably let this one pass.

good luck to you both with the pregnancy, I hope it goes smoothly.

nickelbabe · 17/11/2011 15:24

aha!
well, that's a relief! (the paternity ting)
risky move, though.

so she's about 6 weeks, then.

congratulations Grin

nickelbabe · 17/11/2011 15:30

(and everything that Kit said)

PopcornMouse · 17/11/2011 15:35

Ah-ha! :o

A shame she felt the need to tell porkies, but on the bright side you can put any paternity questions out of your mind, now :)

Congratulations and good luck!

LoveInAColdClimate · 17/11/2011 16:52

Aw, congratulations

Stasi · 17/11/2011 18:32

Just wanted to say, my sister found she had a massively increased sex drive for the whole 9 months of pregnancy, so don't worry too much about the sex. :)

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