Everybody else is pregnant except me <glum> If you tried for a while what do you think finally helped you to get your BFP?

[RightUpMyRue]

It'll be a year in December and I've got the 'ump with it.

What worked for you?

Hi Right - if only we had the magical answer, how v v rich we would be. Everyone's story is different. Worth getting yourself to the docs next month and ask for tests?

The 'ump is understandable - I feel desolate about it some days... more able to make a joke on others.

With my only DC (arrived when I was 38) we conceived in second month of living together! Lots of sex and a v healthy lifestyle... Now trying for DC2 (still lots of sex and a v healthy lifestyle) and have been TTC about as long as you, no joy.

There are some ongoing threads to cheer up those TTC - see the ones with big numbers of posts and take your pick! Holding hands with others here can really help.

TTFN.

There are no magic answers?!

Wel fourth ivf worked and is now a lovely 8 year old! Fourth time round I did do acupuncture with a lovely lady that specialised in pre natal care. I also read Zita Wests book - Good luck it is horrible when you have to do that 'Wow I am so glad for you' when you want the same thing. I hope it happens soon (lots of babydust sprinkled your way :))

Yes - lots of good luck. I have acupuncture too. Supposed to work wonders. Your man can take chinese herbs, if you'll ever persuade him. Or you could get blind drunk and break all the rules and that might do the trick.

Sorry there's no Paul Daniels in the wing, but here's hoping for that BFP very soon. x

A friend of mine bought some chinese herbs, not for conceiving, and they smelled so much when she boiled them that she came round to my house to do it so hers wouldn't stink! Cheeky Mare.

I'm not ready to admit there is a problem yet. Going for tests indicates I think there could be a problem and I really, really don't want to think about that. Head in the sand, I know, and I could wasting valuable time on denying a possible problem but still I can't.

Accupuncture. And giving up booze totally.

After a year of trying I finally got pregnant when having sex a week earlier than when I was 'due' to ovulate.

We had just embarked on the tests and had to cancel the second appointment. Happens all the time apparently.

It depends on why you cannot conceive. We were ttc for 6 years, had 2 ivf (private) one of which was miscarriage. Whilst waiting for another treatment I bought "taking charge of your fertility" and learned that the way we were ttc (advised by gyno) was wrong. My dh has poor motility and the best was trying to time as close to ovulation as possible with a good 5-8 day "rest" beforehand. I started chartering and bang, the first month we conceived naturally for the first time ever. It did not work well, I gave birth this year in June at 24 weeks to dd (due to strepB), who died from pre-maturity. I waited for a period after this and went back to the clinic, was waiting for the next round of ivf again (we thought dd being naturally conceived was a miracle and again got natural bfp after careful chartering and timing.
Also had vitamins, reasonable diet, no smoking, "conceive Plus", but I do put our luck down to watching my cycle and timing appropriate for us as a couple.

Wow bemybebe that's a pretty good thumbs up for 'taking charge...' though very sorry to hear about your long, tough journey. Hope this is the one, now. Fx as well as toes for you.

And Rightup I totally get the feeling that tests are giving in to something/admitting a problem. But I think you (one) reach (reaches) a limit and only you know what that is. For me - at 40 - I haven't got time to hang around, it feels.

Chinese herbs for my bloke are in tabs. He's not v happy about it but I hope it helps us. He's not prepared to give up his nightly as I have (GnT in my case), so I'm counting on the herbs counteracting some of the damage.

If you are a spring chicken then no need for tests yet - but the book bemybebe mentioned sounds worth the investment!

Took me 42cycles. DD is 11weeks old :)
Acupuncture, I believe, did it for us. Just even the downtime I had for that hour a week really helped when I could lie there and just not think about anything.
We had had 4 failed rounds of IUI. 7 weeks after I started the acupuncture, I got my BFP. :D

Wow. I'm impressed at the successes connected with acupuncture. Did you all have specific problems you went to the acupuncturist, or was it just general unknown/unexplained fertility problems?

Really what worked for me in the end was following the advice to have sex at least 3 times a week. I was still doing the ov tests but decided to have as much sex as possible anyway. The week I conceived I had sex four times in the week leading up to ovulation. I downloaded an app on my phone and recorded on it when we had sex so I could see if we were doing enough.

However it may be that you need to see a doctor and get referred for testing. Some things like sperm count can be improved over a period of time with diet and lifestyle adaptations and vitamins.

If acupuncture or whatever other complementary therapy is relaxing and pleasant for you then it certainly can't do any harm.

A few words to add re' acupuncture - they might well take a look at your test results (if you had any) but are generally more interested in your pulse, history etc. So you can go with a specific problem (with stats to explain) or you can go and simply explain your cycles and how long you've been TTC. I know a lot of people who endorse acupuncture for conception/fertility/hormonal balancing/menopause. The relaxation (and I don't find it that relaxing myself) is just a bonus.

My DS was breech at 38 weeks but I'd had a lot of acupuncture up to this point and then asked for specific help to shift him from breech and it worked - I had a very straight forward birth, which I [ut it down to acu... Ask Zita too!

Thank you all for sharing.

bemybebe so sorry to hear about your DD, I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to have got so far and then not have her anymore. What was her name?

beangrower Not exactly a spring chicken but a good while away from my pension! I'm 32, will be 33 in March. I do that offsetting thing all the time; if I have a satsuma I can have 2 squares of chocolate the perfect balance.

I think (I hope) it just boils down to not enough sex or not enough sex at the right time.

DP has just given smoking so maybe that was affecting things and they will improve

I've looked at buying that Taking Charge book but haven't taken the plunge yet. I think I will.

I tried charting but the results I was getting were very irregular and I'm sure I was doing it right, i.e at the same time(more or less) every day and with a digital thermometer. It looked liked I was spiking and falling all the way through, it made no sense.

If you weren't getting a clear biphasic pattern (i.e. lowish temps for the first part of the cycle and then higher temps for the 10-16 days before your period) you might not be ovulating (the higher temps are caused by the hormones released after ov). If your chart looked like the Rocky Mountains, with random ups and down and no overall pattern, it is worth getting some investigations carried out. Some ups and downs are normal from day to day but over the cycle you should be able to distinguish the times before and after ov. Have a look at the gallery on fertility friend to see what I mean (if you haven't already). G'luck.

Thank you euro, it did look a bit like a mountain range. I have already looked at FF and have had the course on charting emailed to me but I found it so bloody dull I didn't absorb any of it. This was probably over 6 months ago now though and I should go back and look again.

I do get ovulation symptoms, ie. a headache, EWCM and ovulation pains. Would I still get those if I weren't ovulating?

You can still get EWCM if you're not ovulating, apparently, yes

Not sure. They are certainly good signs. To confirm you would need to get a dr to check your progesterone levels 7 days after ov.

Charting is easy. Ignore most of the course. Note your CM. Take your temp at the same time each morning before you do anything (even sit up) - no talking, drinking, etc. Note your temps. That's all I do. You can do the other stuff like cervical position if you want but it's not necessary.

dd's name is Alexandra

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. We tried for about 2 years before conceiving and I understand how heartbreaking it can be to get your period every month. I can't say for certain why we actually succeeded in the end but here are some of the things we did.

DH
-loose underpants
-no hot baths
-cut down on alcohol

• took Marilyn Glenville fertility vitamins for men

Me
-cut out alcohol
-took Marilyn Glenville fertility vitamins for women
-acupuncture

I also used Ovulation Predictor kits and did charting for a while. The OPK is good for giving you a good indication that you are ovulating but I found charting quite exhausting and stress inducing!

I am fairly convinced that what made this difference was having a lot of sex and using a sperm friendly lubricant called preseed.

Good luck - I hope you get the result you want soon.

I lost weight and got fit and,(I hate to say this because it is such a stupid thing to say to someone ttc), came to terms with the fact that it might never happen. This was after 7 years of trying. I got pregnant the next month.
I wish I'd used ovulation kits etc. 7 years is a bloody long time and after a bit I would have rather pee'd on a stick than have sex!

we stopped trying! we decided that I was obsessed and DH was demoralised so we decided to leave it and try again after a few months. Decided we didn't want a summer born baby anyway.

got pregnant the first time we did it without 'trying'! And we have a July born!

but you should go to the doctors to check things out

I got temp spikes and EWCM and I wasn't ovulating. I (among other things) have a hormone deficiency which means I grow the eggs (on the side not affected by PCOS) but don't give off enough LSH to actually kick the eggs out of my ovaries. It is possible.
If you've been trying for a year, I would go to your GP and ask for a referral. If you're lucky enough to be in the North of England, you'll probably be referred to the RMU in Leeds. They are amazing, I can vouch for that (altho if you can try and get referred to Mr Rutherford and not Mrs Sharma)

You're all very kind to share your stories with me, thank you. I think we'll probably take your advice and go to the doc, get checked out, after Christmas though, in the new year.