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Conception

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Is it a good idea to tell people you are ttc?

71 replies

wifey6 · 09/11/2011 14:32

I'm thinking of the support factor. Any thoughts please?

OP posts:
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 13/11/2011 09:50

I find the problem with telling people 'We do but not yet' is I get a 'chip chop, times ticking away' attitude, especially since I'm now 30 really am cynical about it all aren't I?!

eurochick · 13/11/2011 10:29

Yes, the "we do but not yet" answer doesn't really fly when you are 35+!

CareBear1 · 13/11/2011 12:23

Wouldn't it be great to be able to turn round and go 'why don't you f off and mind your own fing business' !!!

wifey6 · 13/11/2011 12:42

Grin carebear1.....

OP posts:
HaveALittleFaithBaby · 13/11/2011 12:54

Grin CareBear
sometimes I want to turn round and ask "Oh what form of contraception are you using?". Just as initimate!

VeniVidiVino · 13/11/2011 19:42

carebear Grin I would love to try that just to see the look on people's faces! Could also simply ask 'how's your sex life?'.

I really want to tell my best friend but sort of also want it to just be between DH and me until (fingers crossed) BFP.

ttc3 · 20/11/2011 15:37

I find it easier to let my closest friends know that we are trying as it helps them understand our situation much better!

iloveberries · 21/11/2011 20:19

[big grin] carebear what about we would love to have a baby but i prefer to take it up the arse which makes it hard to conceive, what position do you like best?

(berries wonders if she went too far and hopes someone shares her sense of humour??)

Thanks for starting this thread wifey. I have been wondering the same thing actually. Only been TTC 5 months (though of course it feels like forever) but as we have a DS (20months) people are ALWAYS asking when we'll be having another. My 4 best mum friends (who we hang out with at least twice a week) are all pg with number 2 and don't ask me about our plans but often talk about their pregnancies. Obviously this is fine and i would hate them to feel they couldn't but it is literally the only thing they talk about and sometimes i wish there was something else....

I have told my mum and 3 close childless (because they aren't ready - or so they say!!) friends and TBH it has been really nice to have people to talk to. They are really understanding and just get it right in what and when they say stuff. Guess that's the wonderful thing about best friends :) Plus they are great drinking buddies every month when AF arrives!

I had wondered whether to tell my mum friends but after reading this thread i don't think i will.

Interesting to hear all the views. and LOVED the facebook comments.

sparkle it's ok to feel pangs of envy when others announce their pgnancies on MN. Doesn't mean you're not delighted for them. I find it hard to swallow when people who haven't been on TTC threads suddenly appear from nowhere with a pst along the lines of "hi, just found out i am pg, 3 weeks gone!!". Of course i am happy for them but i feel a bit cheated that they haven't contributed apart from to share the news we all wish we had. God does that make me awful... probably. But i guess you can't help how you feel!!

LibrarianAli · 21/11/2011 20:35

iloveberries, I think that's why I've tentatively started posting on here after lurking for quite some time, because one day I'd really like to able to say 'whoop! we've done it' to a threadful of people who know what it's been like to try and get to that point... only problem is I can't work out what sort of TTC-er I am or which train/plane/bus I should be on so until I do that, I just pop onto threads that don't seem like they have a clique!

iloveberries · 21/11/2011 21:51

hi librarianali - i'm finding the july 2012 flight thread massively supportive - everyone welcome and there are lots of people with lots of advice.... have a read and join in if it's your cup of tea.

TBH i was probably the sort of person who would have found this "communicating your deepest secrets with people you don't know* thing very weird up until recently. But it's VERY VERY helpful and the ladies are VERY VERY understanding. Good Luck with wherever you perch yourself :)

CareBear1 · 22/11/2011 20:02

iloveberries Grin !!

how about

'why, do you want to watch?'

iloveberries · 23/11/2011 10:19

hahaha!! carebear!

Carly123 · 18/12/2011 19:34

Hello, this is my first time on MN. We're going to start ttc straight after Xmas, am so so excited, it seems like I've been waiting forever to ttc! We got married in June and i've recently changed job so have had to wait a few months so I can qualify for maternity leave. I've told my brother (older than me and has children of his own) and he and his wife have been really supportive. I'm nervous tho, must admit, worried nothing will happen!! I took my first folic acid yesterday, and am finding all the info on MN amazing. Have ovulating kit at the ready... fingers crossed!

lovechoc · 18/12/2011 19:43

I personally didn't let anyone know, it's no one else's business but your own, tbh...It also means when things don't go to plan then you don't have to explain this to everyone. It was a surprise for everyone when I announced I was pregnant. It made me glad actually because I did NOT fancy having the 'are you pregnant yet? are you pregnant yet?' line over and over again from family or well meaning friends.

lovechoc · 18/12/2011 19:49

My first pregnancy went went, and I told family when I was around 7 or 8 weeks pregnant. My second pregnancy was a MMC so had to tell everyone that I was no longer pregnant. My third pregnancy I did not announce until I had the 20 week scan and found out everything was going well. Many were shocked that I'd kept it quiet all this time. Not a huge surprise when you worry every day that you may miscarry again...

freckly12 · 19/12/2011 06:54

i havent told any of my friends or family we are going to TTC in 2012 except 1 friend who is my morning walking buddy, who also hopes to TTC in 2012. So we are in the same boat. Its too much pressure, as it is the inlaws are putting massive pressure on us, so i keep saying, oh we arent ready financially etc. Plus, none of my close friends are even married so how can they comprehend the emotions of TTC... but i have to say MN has been my saving grace, even my hubbie cant help me with all the crap going through my head but i come on here and see that other woman are feeling the same and im so grateful im not alone. Plus i dont live in the UK, im abroad, which makes me feel more isolated, so MN is even more of a support for me. SO for that ladies, i say a big thank you.Thanks

PhDUK · 05/03/2012 22:11

I personally would try to minimise the number of people that you are TTC as I am fed up people asking if there is any baby news whenever I see them and that can psychologically drain your system

hhhhhhh · 10/03/2012 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsBliss · 01/04/2012 19:35

What about telling work? I'm scared that if I ask about maternity allowances and let them know I'm planning a pregnancy, they could find a reason to get rid of me. It's happened to a friend and she was left in a difficult position financially.

ScarlettInSpace · 01/04/2012 19:49

I wouldn't discuss TTC in work tbh, my boss is usually good with developmental projects and I don't want that to stop because subconsciously he thinks I won't be there to finish them. Even though it would be unintentional or at worst under the radar, the thought may be at the back of his head.

I'm not sure where I stand with IVF though, and whether I'm obliged to tell the occupational nurse that I'm entering treatment?

ScarlettInSpace · 01/04/2012 19:52

msbliss if you want to see the maternity policy without raising suspicions, why not drop hr an email saying you're up dating your files and you're missing 2 or 3 policies, maybe throw in sick and Internet usage or something like that?

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