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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Mums who conceived first child aged 35 years plus...

50 replies

lovecloud · 20/12/2005 22:27

How long did it take you?

Did you experience any difficulty?

Did you need help such as fertility drugs to conceive?

Did you just "go withe flow" / work out ovulation dates / takes tempertures / ovulation kits etc.?

Was your periods regular?

How long was your cycle before trying?

Sorry for all the questions but my sil started trying for her first last month and even though she prepared herself for it it not happening she was disappointed and i just wanted to be able to give her some info from other mums.

thank you

x

OP posts:
Twiglett · 20/12/2005 22:31

I conceived first at 33 but second at 36

It took almost 2 years for second (had secondary infertility which was identified as short post-luteal phase)

Needed clomid to lengthen latter half of cycle but it worked first cycle luckily

Once you go down the path of it taking longer (took 2 months with first) you have to do the whole OPK thing (or charting)

yes regular

28 -30 day cycle

remember each cycle you have a 25% chance of conceiving naturally and the average is a year and a half for conception

good luck to SIL .. if she still hasn't conceived within 6 months I'd go to GP and say she's been trying a year just to get tests out the way

HTH

thecattleareALOHing · 20/12/2005 22:32

Other people's experiences aren't really relevant as fertility is very personal. I had my kids at 38 and 41 and had no problems at all conceiving - in fact conceived dd (no2) at the age of 40 after one try. The midwife said, 'how long did you try for her?' and I said, 'about 20 minutes) - and I was exaggerating for dh's sake . I never worried about cycles, ovulation kits or anything.
But I have friends in their 20s who have struggled with infertility.
At 35 I'd say age wouldn't be a factor, but even at 20 the chances of getting pregnant at each cycle is about 1 in 3/4 so it's actually not usual to get pregnant first time. If in a year's time she's not pregnant (and I bet you anything she is) she should see her gp. Wait only 6months if she's older.
At 35

Twiglett · 20/12/2005 22:33

at exaggerating for DH's sake .. you are very witty aloha

thecattleareALOHing · 20/12/2005 22:34

The midwife blushed!

Original poster
lovecloud · 20/12/2005 22:35

Thanks!

I am sure she will have no problems, she is fit, healthy and looks after herself and very very very broody! I just want it to happen for her NOW!!!

She just decided earlier this year and it took a long time for her to actually pluck up the courage to start. She has always said she wanted to wait until it felt right and now it does.

Its so annoying to have to wait at least 6 months - that is a long time.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 20/12/2005 22:37

the biggest piece of advice I can give you is don't ever ever EVER ask

'any news?' with that lopsided grin

it will not be appreciated

Original poster
lovecloud · 20/12/2005 22:42

Oh yes!

I know to not ask - so many people dont think about that. One of our other friends said last spring she wanted to start trying for another baby early summer. Every week leading up to summer one of our friends would make a comment about "its nearly that time before you will start" etc. As summer went on she was even asked if she had had her period that month infront of a group of mums - I did feel sorry for her and I bet she wished she never mentioned.
She then said recently that she has decided to wait until next year as they are running into financial difficulty or something like that.
I have since said to the mums who made the comments that they should not say anything else to her just in case she has been finding it hard.

My sil is very open and talks about it everytime i see her so i never need to bring it up.

OP posts:
jamiesam · 20/12/2005 22:42

Sorry if slightly irrelevant - I conceived first two times really quickly (at 33 and 35), but this one (just pregnant, at 38) took 4/5 months which was a real shock and I was disappointed every month that I wasn't pregnant.

No fertility drugs; serious temp taking/fertility friend website addiction until the cycle I conceived!; periods were 'all over the place' I though, but with hindsight, I was only having mid-cycle bleeding which need not cause any problems for conception at all; cycles always been short at around 24 days, but happily, nice long post-luteal phase!

Good luck to SIL - wish her patience too (whisper it though!)

Original poster
lovecloud · 20/12/2005 22:44

thank you

my sil cycles seem to have become irregular after her wedding early this year.

they are about 36 days? always a few days either side - does this make it harder for her?

OP posts:
Original poster
lovecloud · 20/12/2005 23:10

Anyone else or know of anyone?

OP posts:
jamiesam · 20/12/2005 23:15

sorry, no advice here - maybe try bumping this tomorrow morning.

handlemecarefully · 20/12/2005 23:21

I conceived first at 34 (first time of trying) and second at 35 (first time of trying). Perhaps I am living in a fools paradise but I based on my previous experiences I expect the same to happen when I ttc in April next year (a month prior to my 38th birthday).

We shall see....I hope I don't get rudely reawakened

handlemecarefully · 20/12/2005 23:23

My friend however has been ttc for around 2.5 years now with only 1 pregnancy in that time which ended in m/c . She has one dd currently and she is 42 years old now.

funnygirl · 20/12/2005 23:36

I conceived just before my 35th birthday. I got pregnant just about the time we got married and I put the tiredness etc down to wedding stress. Once one of the girls at work told me to get my heating checked then I did a test and to my shock and delight it was positive. Wasnt really trying just if it happened it happened.

thecattleareALOHing · 20/12/2005 23:37

I think not using contraception religiously is 'trying'.

jane313 · 21/12/2005 04:29

I got pregnant first time trying at 36. 3 years later am having huge problems ttc. I have very regular periods, 26-27 days.

Being generally fit and healthy does not really come into the equation unfortunately.

Wordsmith · 21/12/2005 08:19

I concveived my first at 37 and my second at 41. I had been half heartedly trying for no 1 for several years until I thought, hmmm, nothing's happening here, and went to the docs. She put me on clomid and I conceived within 2 months. My periods had been very irregular and the doc worked out that a lot of the time I simply wasn't ovulating. After DS1's birth my periods became very regular and for the first time in my life I experienced pmt! . I conceived DS2 naturally, don't quite know how it happened, DH and I can't remember the act at all but I know we were only 'doing it' about once a month at the time!

Your fertility does drop after 35 although not having had a child before 35 i can't compare the two experiences! All I would say to your SIL is, if she seriously wants a child and nothing happens after about 6 months then she should go to the docs - she probably doesn't have the luxury of years of 'trying time' as younger mums do.

A firend of mine conceived her two children on the first time of trying (under 35) and was most disappointed when trying for no 3 that it didn't happen straight away! I think she gave up after about 3 months and stuck to 2 children instead!

laney69 · 21/12/2005 09:03

hi I am a regular on here but have changed my name as I wanted to keep my privacy on this one
I had my first at 34 and second at 36

I have also had three miscarriages, and the two successful pregnancies were both twin pregnancies where I lost a twin in the first trimester

Did you experience any difficulty? not in conceiving. I have become pregnanct within one or two months of stopping contraception each time.

Did you need help such as fertility drugs to conceive? no

Did you just "go withe flow" / work out ovulation dates / takes tempertures / ovulation kits etc.?

just went with the flow, though I did (on the advice of my doctor) have sex more often than usual - every two days in fact through the month. (I liked that bit )

Was your periods regular? yes, more or less

How long was your cycle before trying? 32 days

Mercy · 21/12/2005 09:21

When I conceived dd I was 36.10 and it took 3/4 months of trying. Before that my cycle was fairly irregular, roughly 26 - 32 days.

2nd pregnancy ended in miscarriage but took one month to conceive. My cycle had become regular by then.

When I conceived ds I was 39.8 and after just one attempt. Cycle very regular now.

With all 3 pregnancies I just worked out ovulation dates.

TuttiFrutti · 21/12/2005 09:42

I conceived my first at 37.1 at first attempt. I was using an ovulation test to work out best time to have sex, but nothing more than that. I think this varies massively from woman to woman though, as I have friends much younger than me who have been unable to conceive.

Handlemecarefully - I am intending trying for a second next April as well, so we'll have to keep each other posted!

handlemecarefully · 21/12/2005 09:49

Oh yes Tuttifrutti - we might end up in same antenatal club if all goes well!

Blandmum · 21/12/2005 09:52

I was 34 with my first took us 3 months of trying. Was 36 with second, took sixth months. And dh had had testicular cancer!

speedymama · 21/12/2005 11:12

I was 39 when I conceived my twins after trying for 3 weeks! I have regular periods (cycle every 26 days) and I know exactly when my eggs are released. I could even work out the day when the sperm fertilised the ovum and this was confirmed by the due date. DH and I are quite healthy and we thought that it would take at least 6 months for me to conceive so it was quite a shock that it happened so quickly, especially because of my age. My DH and I did take a zinc supplement because this helps the mobility of the sperm and ova. I also stopped using tampons as they dry out the vaginal area and the lack of vaginal fluid can hamper fertilisation.

DH would like another child but we don't want to try again until DT are out of nappies. I will probably be 42 when we start trying again so hopefully we won't have any problems. What I do think about is the increase risk in abnormalities so if anybody has any advice in that area, it would be most welcome.

Lovecloud, from my personal experience the advice I would offer to your friend is to relax, take zinc supplements and stop using tampons (if she does). Good luck!

IOTAnnenbaum · 21/12/2005 11:19

It took over a year for me to conceive 1st time at 39, but we were't actively trying by using charts or anything - that ended in m/c - then I was pregnant again after 1st AF post m/c.

at 42, tried for 7 mths to conceive ds2, but dh was working away all week which didn't really help matters!

Roobietherednosedreindeer · 21/12/2005 11:27

I was 33 and 36 ..... again no problems at all - both conceived in the first month of 'trying' (basically counted 14 days from start of period and did the deed).

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