With angel babies in the sky, some of us expecting rainbow babies, others still ttc and definitely swi!!

[Bluetinkerbell]

started new thread! we do talk a lot, don't we?

ciwi doesnt sound daft at all, I think it sounds very sweet and agree that it does acknowledge Ciaran.

ciwi I always have a quick glance when out shopping at the baby aisle, not stopped or bought anything yet but I need to make this feel real and maybe that would help.

green your bracelet does does sound really lovely, I'm quite drawn to rainbows now.

On that note, has anyone got any ideas on how I could make this pregnancy seem more real and like it's really happening? I'll be 16 weeks on Saturday and am struggling to accept it still.

ciwi completely missed your last sentence somehow! I don't think that's silly at all, I really want to keep Scarlett as a part of the family too and a visible one at that.

cheese I agree. People are selfish about their bodies when pg, I dont think they think of the person inside them. I think the media doesnt help with what seams to be promoting bad decisions by doc's which make the public think that doc's are not to be trusted. And googling a few research papers on the subject isnt the best to weigh up your alternatives.
My consultant said to me at the post mortem appointment that I will be induced at 37 weeks for peace of mind but if I wanted to go over depending on the babies health and mine than that would be fine, but if I was told that they thought it would be best for my health and the babies health to be induced early then I would agree.

cheese does your bump have a name? That might help. I know it must be hard to bond when you are scared of the outcome, but maybe you should start to try.
I had trouble bonding with Ophelia while I was pg, so we started calling the bump bubble (we didnt know what we were having) Also I started singing to her and talking to her in the car. I have several songs now that are mine and hers, sometimes they make me feel sad but sometimes they make me smile that I have that connection with her forever. I shall do the same with the next one.

cheese I don't have any amazing advice except maybe don't over think it, iykwim. I felt the exact same way (and still do but not as much) I spoke to my acupuncturist about it and she just said don't be too hard on yourself, it will come. Since then I have just kind of accepted that I felt detached and it was because I have been through a really traumatic time, not because I didnt want to bond with this baby and I have just kind of left it there. since then I have started feeling movement which I think has helped and I even get a few bursts of exitement so I think I am starting to accept things and I think it's mainly because I am not trying to force it, if that makes sense. Hopefully someone else will have better advice, if so I will be taking it on board too!

green I was also told I'd be induced early but that was at the previous hospital and now we've changed to a much better one but I think my consultant will think the same. I'm going to bring up c-sections too as I'm really not sure about labour, I don't know if I can go through it again after Scarlett. I'm worried it will just take me back to when I gave birth to her. It was really difficult as she was breach too and her leg was stuck up, they tried a few times to bring it down and nearly gave up with would have meant a c-section. It wasn't until afterwards, when dh told me what they were saying, that I realised how close I was to a section. They tried an ECV first which didn't work and was really painful but I don't think that would be good if the baby was alive though as it can distress them.

Given that I've got gestational diabetes I don't think they like letting you go over 38 weeks anyway so I guess either way this one will come early. The way you spoke and sang to Ophelia sounds really lovely, it must be nice to have those songs that are just yours and hers :) I've never really named any bumps though, I did talk to Scarlett a lot in the bath, she used to love the water and would always kick and move about when I had a bath.

ciwi that does make sense, maybe I should try and not think about it too much either. I do have a tendency to over think and and analyse everything at the best of times! I've felt the odd little wave of excitement at the thought of maybe bringing this baby home and being born alive but it doesn't last long. I think I'm scared to feel too much. Maybe I should let myself look at and think about the baby things when I feel like it rather than actively avoiding.

Thanks both for the advice though, it's nice to talk about these things with people that understand :)

cheese I think this forum is a godsend, the main reason I didn't worry too much about feeling detached was because a few of you girls had said it too so I thought it must be normal after what we have been through. I do tend to stop myself when I get excited but I am trying not to now. It is much more likely that we will biring our babies home than not, it just seems hard for us to see it that way after what we have been through. A girl I work with has just had her 12 week scan and is asking me things like have you bought anything yet and have you put your name down for the nursery etc. In some ways its nice to see how 'normal' people are in pregnancy and it does make you realise that things will most probably be fine x

this forum is a godsend, I know that I would not be here in this sane state of mind with out your girls. My DH says the same, hes knows you all from what I tell him and he thinks we are all wonderful, I sometimes think he is jealous that we all have each other. (hes not one for forums though so no chance of getting him on Dadsnet if such a thing exsists)

Hello!

Am going to do v quick selfish post as back to work now.

Booking scan great - am now 13+5! EDD 30 March, which means delivery date around 16 March. Thea's birthday is 13 March, so it's all getting very close together! Nuchal scan took ages - Bean would not cooperate and kept rolling over when the technician was trying to measure the back of its neck. I got sent for a walk for 20 mins but it didn't help that much. So it's a very wriggly baby, anyway!

Will post more later, xx.

ciwi I know what you mean about seeing what "normal" people are like in pregnancy. I wish I could be like that again! I saw my gp today and he said that it was like a coping mechanism but that I shouldn't worry about bonding with the baby as he doesn't think that would affect it at all once it is born.

green There is a dadsnet section of MN but I don't think it's hugely busy. I often mention you all to DH as well and he thinks the same and always keeps his fingers crossed too!

Too so that put you further than you thought? Same happened with me. I'm due on 17th March but would be delivering 2-3 weeks before that, hoping for 3 rather than 2! They had me jumping up and down when I went for my nuchal to get baby to move into a better position! Glad it all went well for you. Did you get bloods taken too?

Yeh Too wonderful news xxx
Hi all xxx
Saw my Midwive this AM all fine: heartbeat, blood pressure, urine all good. I m still measuring ahead now measuring 37 weeks but all incidental really as date of section won t change.Also, having Braxton hicks occasionally but GILS is going nowhere I ve told her I want a stress free experience this time!!! Bought a bag for GILS stuff so getting there slowly!!!
Haven t looked at any of thd threads you re discussing from the sounds of it, the topic/ contents are far too trival for us lot to occupy ourselves with. Having lost a baby it puts everything in to perspective and you realise how many people stress over trivia and shite. Not for me anymore.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sun, so glad I m not at work in this heat. It would be far to hot!!! Xxx

I was annoyed by that thread too. It doesn't matter how small the risk is because there is still a risk and it is such a serious one! Like someone said, it's not only stillbirth, it is risking brain damage if the placenta stops working properly. I know someone whose sister has a severely brain-damaged daughter, caused by hypoxia, and the little girl is blind, deaf, dumb and wheelchair-bound. Even if the damage is not as severe as that, any level of brain damage is too much! Grr.

Cheese, how often are you being scanned? Do scans help with the feeling of detachment? What about listening to the heartbeat? I find that between scans my detachment rises, but seeing the picture on screen helps once I've got past the first few scary minutes and established that there is definitely a heartbeat. It grounds me a bit - yes, there really is a baby, it's not my imagination! I hope as the baby grows you start to feel more connected to it and a bit better about yourself.

I am still flying from the scan - yay! A little wriggling badly behaved beastie is actually in there! I was at the hospital for nearly an hour and a half because bean just wouldn't lie still and kept rolling over. I got sent for a pee, which didn't help, then a walk, and then the technician called in someone to help because she just wasn't getting anywhere and it took two of them to get the measurements in the end. They didn't make me jump up and down, though, just cough. For the record, baby bean does not like it one little bit when I cough and dances about madly. I had the blood test done too, so that's fine.

Angel, we will all will GILS to stay put until your ELCS date! Good for you being off on the best week of the summer - you deserve it!

Ciwi, I love having other people here to tell me what's normal. I feel much less freaked out by everything having sympathetic friends to talk to.

hi ladies just a quick pop in had no time to read back what i have missed!
feeling down(AF appeared) and so have just decided to focus a bit on my RL and also been mad busy at work!!!! so not good for my stress level!!!!

hope all is well with you all and that we remember to do one day at a time!!!!

will be back real soon to catch up with you all xx

My goodness there has been so much talk since I was last here!!
angel so glad you had a great spa break, I would so love to go on one.
too fantastic news about your scan and your spirited bean . I like you cant bear the initial moment of when they switch on the screen, I actually shut my eyes until they tell me it is ok.
cheese I think it is so normal (for us) to be detatched from the pregnancy, I certainly am, I cant even begin to think of a baby until the awful condition that Thomas had is ruled out. I have a scan booked in oxford in just less than two weeks and time is going so slowly. Can I ask you, since you lost Scarlett have you worried more about your other children?? I am in constant fear, feels like before I was living in a bubble where bad things happened to other people only now I am too aware that other people was me. I even had a few panic attacks driving on the motorway. Im a different person.
mama sorry that AF arrived......we are all here whenever you want to check in.

Hope everyone else is well.

Sorry, can I just ask those of you with dopplers, what brand do you have and how good they are???
Cheers

Hi mama x
Hi Razz I think what you re experiencing is totally normal. I m always worried now when we travel on motorways or when Ant does a lot of driving for work. I realise we can all be gone in a blink of an eye. It's so scary. I ve got an Angel sounds Doppler from Georgie and this time around I bought a more expensive ? Sonic dep Doppler I think. It was about £60 from Amazon. Xx
Hi all hope everyone is well? Just had lovely manicure and pedicure , chilling now. Xx

Oh didn t answer your question!!! Thus Doppler is very good has a screen that displays a heart sign and the number if beats per minute. I ve used it from about 13 weeks sometimes finding thd heartbeat is a bit hit & miss bur the display reassures me. I ve found this one easy to use .

Hi everyone,
I have been mooching on the internet looking for things to buy for Ciaran's birthday. I have found a lovely spinner for the cemetery from alexandra's angel gifts and I am also going to buy a 1st and 2nd scan photo frame. We are decorating our spare room (not as a nursery yet) but as this was supposed to be Ciaran's room I thought it would be nice to put the scan pictures in there and if all goes well with this one I will get one for him/her and put that up too, kind of like they are sharing rooms.
razz I have the angel sounds one, I really like it, from about 12 weeks I could hear the babies heartbeat through the placenta (sounds like pulsating but faster than your hr) and then from around 14 - 15 weeks I have heard the actual heartbeat (sounds more like a train or galloping horse). I did hear it on and off from about 9 weeks but I wouldn't reccomend using it that early because I couldn't always find it.
too yay for the scan, did they put you forward by much?
angel Glad all things are good with your mw check, I had one too yesterday, blood pressure behaving so far and no protien so hope it stays that way
Hi mama sorry about af, I really hope it happens soon for you x

morning, i keep meaning to post more but this thread moves sooo fast.

Sorry for all the witches that have arrived, hope you send them packing this month.

too woohoo for a wiggly baby

cheese i felt really detatched from this pg at first, i did get some good advice from the sonographer on the 12 wk scan to take each day at a time and if i didnt start relaxing and enjoying the pg then after 9 months and baby is here i cojld regret not enjoying it. However i still struggle with trying to keep positive that this baba will be ok.

I am 18+1 now and have started feeling baby :-) however have been in agony over last few days with pain around top of my bump and intomy back. Went to dr's and its indigestion so am glugging the gaviscon. But at least i got to hear the heartbeat again :-) and baby was being naughty and kept wiggling away from the doppler.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weather. Sorry for the typing as i am on my phone.

Shakey hope your indigestion is better soon.like you I ve taken pregnancy as 1 day at a time as far as I m concerned it's s means to an end. I can t say I ve ever enjoyed pregnancy I just want the baby here. 18 weeks wow??? Nearly half way there. X
Ciwi scan frames sound lovely. I think for Georgie's birthday we ll just place some flowers at her " special" place . Not going to buy anything as such. It's odd Isn t it? What to buy for your 1 year old that's not physically here. ??? Xx
Love to all xx

Hi all!

Shakey, hi and wow, 18 weeks! Sorry to hear about the heartburn - hope it calms down a bit. I found Rennies better than Gaviscon last time, personally.

Razz, I hope the scan in Oxford goes well and you can relax a bit. How far along will you be by then?

Ciwi, decorating the room as if Ciaran and the new baby are sharing it is such a sweet idea! I might do something similar.

I had a consultant appt this morning and my delivery date has moved again and this baby will now be born at 37 weeks, before Thea's birthday! The consultant said oh yes, due 29 March (which is not what the sonographer said yesterday, but hey), that means we'll be delivering it on about the 13 or 14 of March. I said um, is that flexible, because 13 March is my other baby's birthday, and she said oh, in that case we will deliver it earlier! I was a bit stunned, but she said it would be better to do that just in case I went into labour on the 13th. I'm pretty much decided on an ELCS because the consultant said it might take 24-48 hours after induction to even start contracting and I can't be monitored for all that time because it's just not practical. I don't want it to take ages, I want it to be over quickly and to know that bean is ok. So if I go with the ELCS I'm to get steroid injections at 35/36 weeks. No more scans until the 20 week one, but they'll be every 4 weeks after that. Whew! Big shock, but nice.

Yeh Too that's brill news. Glad you have confidence in your consultant I think it makes all the difference. I m having steroid injections too 1 4 days before date of section and the 2 nd 3 days before ELSC. I have also had 4 weekly scans and it has made it all go very quickly. Good news

Duh meant ELCS !!! This stupid phone!!

Feeling so rubbish today, think I have the flu. Could barely sleep last night with the pain and ended up laying in bed most of the morning. Not been able to do anything much really or eat. Hate being ill :(

angel glad the midwife appt went well

Too scans do seem to help but I don't have another until 20 weeks now and not sure when after that. She mentioned fortnightly in light of the GD but not sure when from. I'm in next Friday so will ask about it then. Glad your appt went well and that you have a plan in place. I need to talk about our birth options too. It's really good that you can have this baby before Thea's birthday, hopefully that will help you a little bit.

razz I'm definitely more worried about the dcs now. Everytime they have something up I think the worst, not keen on motorway journeys either as I keep thinking how easy it would be for an accident to happen. I got a doppler from ebay www.ebay.co.uk/itm/PROFESSIONAL-FETAL-DOPPLER-LCD-SCREEN-SPEAKER-/250890966856?pt=UK_Baby_Maternity_Pregnancy_MJ&hash=item3a6a445748#ht_3395wt_1396 that one and it works really well. I hope your scan goes well, it's the waiting that's hard a lot of the time.

ciwi that sounds like a really lovely idea. I thought of some roses for Scarlett on her birthday as we put some on her casket at the funeral, maybe some balloons too and a card. I'm not sure what date to go with though as she died on Dec 2nd but was born on Dec 6th.

mama sorry AF arrived.

shakey that is good advice, I just need to try and do it all now! Glad you got to hear hearbeat again, it's lovely isn't it.