TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

So sorry to hear of everyone's difficult mornings.

joycep your doctor sounds like a patronising cow. I understand the reasoning of wanting you to try for longer but coming out with useless platitudes and telling you to start saving is pathetic. They have no idea of the way we turn every aspect of this over in our minds every day. I hope you are ok x also so sorry about the pregnant colleague. It sometimes feels like a cruel joke the way everyone else seems to fall pg instantly doesn't it.

Not sure if this is encouraging or depressing but I found out this morning that a friend knows someone who conceived after 13 cycles of ivf-she was in the daily mail about it. She now has gorgeous twins.

Sympathies on the anxiety front, I struggle with this a lot too, it's crap isn't it. I had a panic attack having my blood test in hospital last week. It comes and goes but caffeine, lack of sleep and too much booze make it worse for me; meditating helps.

madness and purple uurrrrgh for christenings and weddings, as if we need any more reminders of our lack of children. I have always had a bit of a heart of stone and never cried at weddings, including my own. This all changed a couple of weeks ago when I cried throughout my friends wedding ceremony as a result of ttc mentalling, DH was looking at me like I'd grown another head.

pout I too have thought that a random night of passion would inevitably result in a bfp followed by the birth of a baby which had a distinguishing feature which would make it impossible for DH to be the father! Has anyone read "eat, pray, love"? Reminds me of those women in Bali who get fixed up with some random young hottie so that their wizened old husbands don't think they are infertile!

My mum, much as I love her dearly, constantly tells me that she got pregnant as soon as she came off the pill :( I have no idea why but she seems to think this will cheer me up?

Im on 11 dpo and I think I'm out for another cycle. Obvious period pain has just started and I've got the feeling of utter exhaustion I always get a couple of days before af. Goody.

Hello everyone,

I'm sorry to read that so many of us are having a bad day, I am too so not sure I can say much to cheer you up. But I am sending you the biggest hugs I can.

biscuits it's great to hear you are doing well. Thank you for setting up the grads thread. I hope you won't be lonely over there for long.

joycep I am mad on your behalf at your stupid GP. Why do you have to wait another 6 months when you have already waited 15? Or does she not think that is a long time? And why do you have to save for ivf? Are you not eligible for nhs funding? Is it possible for you to see another doctor? I'm so sorry she wasn't more helpful and understanding.

thatway sorry about the bleeding. I wish I could think of something to make you feel better.

Thank you everyone for asking after my eggs and for all your cheerleading efforts. I'm sorry to say it didn't work and the scan showed they have turned into two big fat cysts . I knew I hadn't ovulated over the weekend because my temp stayed low so I wasn't surprised. When I took my temp this morning I burst into tears and DH who was already showered and dressed got back into bed and held me and stroked my hair. I felt like I was a small child. Gah, what has ttc done to me? But DH is in my good books now because he was so sweet. Anyway, the scan showed the cysts and the gynae was so lovely and told me not to worry because it is perfectly normal for this to happen and it is just a bad cycle. She also said that ovulation problems are so easily overcome that she doesn't worry about them. Although of course it makes ttc naturally so much more difficult if you don't ovulate some cycles. Out of 7 cycles I think I've had 2 where I haven't ovulated. She said that AF might be heavier and longer than normal.

Although she is costing me a fortune, I am starting to think it is good value at least after hearing how you were treated today joycep. I'm building up a good relationship with her and I feel like she really does care. If I ever do get pregnant she will see me all the way through the pregnancy and can even deliver the baby if I want. I have to go back on Thurs for the prolactin blood test and she is going to test progesterone then too although we know it won't show I've ovulated. She asked if we'd decided about ivf and I told her we couldn't afford to do anything before the spring, she was so understanding and agreed to try IUI in the meantime so we feel like we're doing something.

whoops not sure what happened there but posted too soon.

Anyway, we will try IUI. She wants me to decide if I want a hsg before. She is happy to do IUI without checking my tubes are ok because she said I have no history to suggest there will be a problem. But of course it is a risk to do IUI if it turns out my tubes are blocked as it would be a complete waste of time. The downsides of having it are because I would have to have it done at the hospital and there will be a waiting list and also it will be very expensive. She also said that when we do get referred to the fertility clinic they are likely to do one and she said it's better to limit the amount of x rays your pelvis is exposed to. So, I'm not sure what to do but I have a week to think about it. She was so positive and I know that IUI probably won't work considering how few sperm DH has. But it will be a medicated cycle so at least I'll ovulate and surely if the sperm are placed so close to the egg they must have a better chance. She is going to write to my insurance company to check that they will pay it so fingers crossed. DH is away quite a bit in Sept so it will probably be Oct before we try it. And then if that doesn't work we will ask to be referred to the clinic in April if we have saved enough for ivf. She did say that because I have polycystic ovaries IVF is a bit more tricky because there is more of a risk of over stimulation.

Madness - it is frustrating isn't it. I am sorry you are having a miserable time as well. I mean what can we do apart from wait...and wait? This feeling of just getting nowhere is agonising. There just doesn't seem to be help although sometimes I think I need emotional help more! My GP said she wasn't an expert in fertility. But she must be in her 60s and I just thought, surely you must know a little bit more than you do if you've been a GP for 40 odd years. She also told me anxiety prevents people getting pregnant. I did point out to her that I've been fairly calm for the past few months but when everyone you know, including 70 year old grannies are falling pregnant quicker than you - how can you not let that effect you? Anyway, I?m sorry about your friend?s christening. I've become rather averse to seeing happy families. It doesn't make for enjoyable watching. God I sound bitter today.

Pout - your posts always put a smile on my face. I think she just fobbed me off for another 6 months because it gets to a point where there is no where to go apart from IVF and 10% of people i guess do conceive in the 2nd year of trying. At which point my voice started to crack and i thought i can't cry in front of her and Nearly cried down the phone to DH just now. Oh and now this dad in the office can't stop asking the pregnant girl all sorts of things about her pregnancy. We work in a tiny space, it's miserable listening to them. Although, weirdly I had a sneaky suspicion that she may have been doing ivf a while ago because she kept disappearing for ages and we were told she was having doctors appointments but actually thinking about it I don't think she could ahve done it. I'm not close enough to ask her and of course if she has had ivf I may just stop giving her the evil. I never knew I was such a Jekyll & Hyde. Dont you have a doctor's appt today? I hope you get further with yours. Sorry that another house has fallen through as well. I hope you find something soon.

Nervous - I think I'm about CD9 and have had loads of EWCM which is very odd for me as it is far too early. I'm so bored of trying to guess what the hell is going on with my body. But HAppy Birthday anyway, I hope it was a good day for you.

Popcorn - I never know whether it's helpful or not to point out that early pregnancy symptoms can be the same as AF. We have probably all been trying long enough not to want to hear things like this. But my point is, it's not over until it's over and I really am crossing fingers that AF doesn't show for you.

Oh crumbs just had an email invite for a baby shower. I always vowed I would never go to one but she is one of my best friends and she has spent the weekend texting me about her kicking baby and how big he is. urrgggh

so sorry i'm full of vile bile today.

Nelly Happy birthday! I missed that message before - the hamsters aren't running fast enough in the PC today. SWI twice in one day? I don't reckon I've managed that in the last decade!

Popcorn I haven't read that book but it sounds interesting. Trying to pass off some "feature" as some recessive gene would be interesting. Makes me think of some story my family tell from years ago of a couple who had a baby that was quite clearly mixed race & the "father" kept saying how the baby had a skin condition.

13 cycles of IVF? You have to wonder what that would do to a woman's body. Hats off to them for keeping plugging away. I would not have the mental or emotional strength to carry on.

I sympathise with the anxiety thing. Since TTC I occasionally feel that I can't breathe and my heart races. It's a horrible feeling.

Mrsd I can't believe that our cheer leading efforts didn't sort out your eggs. That's really depressing. I'm glad that your DH was so lovely to you.

I know your temps didn't rise but can I ask whether you had any EWCM or ovulation twinges? I wonder because my gynae said that if you have EWCM then a chain of events are set in motion that can't be reversed which sounded like rubbish to me.

It's interesting that you have been told to expect a possibly heavier and longer period this month. You would have thought the reverse would be true. Something else for me to obsess about methinks!

I've got a GP appointment this evening to talk about IVF waiting lists and possible Endo. I'm dreading it because I am afraid of being told to stop bothering her with this seeing as she already referred me and I have been discharged. I always feel like I am wasting the doctors time - even if my arm was hanging off I would feel like that

joycepI know how crap it is to find out about people's pregnancies. My mum told me about 3 other people I went to school with who are now pregnant. One of them is pregnant with her third and my mum made me feel so much better by saying " and you know even though she is having a third, she still looks younger than you". Thanks mum. Actually my mum annoyed me so much when I spoke to her. In the course of a 30 min phone conversation she must have used the phrase "when you have children" at least 10 times. She'd been to a car boots but had decided not to sell my old books because I might want them "when you have children". And she bought a high chair because it was cheap and would be useful "when you have children". And she thinks that I should try and visit her at least 6 times a year "when you have children" or my children won't know their grandparent. And so it went on. The thing is I could understand it if she didn't already have grandchildren but all my siblings have kids so it's not as though she's worried about not having any. I think she thinks it's odd that I am 30 and have been married over 5 years, I suspect she is fishing for information by bringing the subject up so much. But if I told her my whole family would know within the hour and I know they'd all be full of totally unhelpful advice. They have all had their first child in their twenties and none of them have had any trouble. In fact I come from a long line of very fertile family.

Hugs all round!

Sorry your eggs didn't come good,mrsd.

joycep sorry you doctor sounds rubbish. Is it worth going back to her with a copy of the NICE guidelines that say you should be referred after a year and ask her to justify why she thinks in your case it is appropriate not to follow the guidelines?

I'm on CD12. No EWCM yet but if my pattern of the last few months of ovulating alternately on days 15 and 17 carried on, this will be a day 17 month so it is probably still a bit early. Mr euro turned down swi yesterday on the grounds that he had eaten too much ice cream. When faced with a decision between making love to his wife and possibly making a baby or eating lots of ice cream, he chose ice cream. Twat.

Mrsd - cross post and God I'm sorry. How cruel of those eggs to have done that. I don't understand how they can turn in to cysts? How sweet of DH to hold you though when you're at your lowest. He sounds lovely. And it's great that you have a good relationship with your gynae and comforting to hear that you needn't worry about ovulation issues as it is perfectly normal not to ovulate on some cycles. Well it sounds like you have a plan of action developing as well. If you can get IUI done on insurance that would be great. And it's definietely best trying that before you go down the ivf route. Is an hsg an xray? I had this done but didn't realise they were doing an xray.
Anway, I hope you are feeling a little better since this morning....

Joycep Why do we feel like we can't cry or express how awful we are feeling about TTC in front of doctors? I wonder whether more would be done if they saw how much it affected us.
Have you seen that GP before? All the "bad" experiences I have had with GPs have been with older ones. They are a bit to quick to put everything down to depression and get their prescription pad out.
I don't think that anxiety stops you getting pregnant at all - that seems like a very old fashioned, ill informed thing for a doctor to say. As far as I can tell anxiety and stress only possibly affects ovulation, ie can delay it. If stress did stop people getting upduffed then there would have been very few war babies.
Can you see another GP at your practice? I know that some GP surgery websites show what specialism/interest each GP has and some GPs are more well versed on gynae/reproduction than others.

I reckon today was one of those days you ought to have stayed in bed. A baby shower invite ON TOP of everything else just takes the mickey.

I am secretly laughing disgusted at you throwing the evil eye

Mrsd I was quite relieved to have had the HSG. I don't think I had anything in my history to indicate a tubal problem but when they put the dye round mine the left side took longer for the dye to spill out. The nurse said at the end that sometimes we can have a blockage but because the dye pushed that through we will never know IYSWIM.

Euro's idea is a good one joycep. That would be interesting hearing her trying to justify why she told you to wait. I bet she's never read the nice guidelines. Do you think some of these doctors secretly think that we are all doing something wrong, like we don't realise we're supposed to be having sex or something?

I know it's not funny but to your DH choosing ice cream euro. It made me laugh only because I know I would certainly choose it over SWI these days but I know how frustrating it is when you know you have to do it on certain days and your partner isn't playing along.

Happy birthday nelly Here is a to celebrate.

pout TBH I never really know how to tell ewcm from the byproducts of SWI but I probably have been drier this month. And I certainly never felt in the mood to SWI like you're supposed to in the run up to ovulation but I put that down to being ordered to do it but maybe it wasn't that. The strange thing is the two follicles did prepare to ovulate, they grew in size and the uterus lining got prepared so something was happening but then for some reason they never got released. I don't know why she said AF might be heavier, she told me to not be worried if it was. The last time I had a cycle where I didn't ovulate though it was much lighter than normal so will be interesting to see.

Good luck with your appointment. I hope you get what you want. I've found that it's best to ask direct questions and to not leave the room until I'm sure I have asked everything I wanted to, even if that means remaining sitting while the gynae is heading to the door .

oh bloody hell...these people won't shut up about pregnancies, maternity leave and nurseries.

I'm not sure why we can't express oursleves pout in front of docs. In fact I have always felt ashamed if I burst in to tears. I am actually quite an emotional person deep down but I absolutly hate crying in front of people. I can't do it at funerals either. Dh only saw me cry for the first time last year and now I have racked up 3 balling fits in front of him. Do you cry a lot? My friend switches on the waterworks at the drop of a hat and she always gets her way. I need to take a leaf out of her book.
I have seen that GP before and I have a terrible history with GPs where many of them have been utterly horrible. I actually very nearly died once when a GP told me to go home and stop fussing. Stupid man as I was very ill and ended up in hospital for 4 days on a drip! Anyway, this GP is actually very very nice and I have stuck with her for years because she is so nice. I just worry that if I change i will get another horror. Although, she really doesn't seem to know very much. There is another GP at the practice who does specialise a bit more in fertility but I have been told that he is horrible.
Euro - I really should go back and just say refer me to a clinic or sth . And that's hilarious about your DH eating too much ice cream!!

Giggle mrsd at you sitting in the gynae's asking questions when they heading out the door and down the corridor!

Mrsd I will practice my staying rooted in the chair. I already have a lot of practice at talking to somebody as they walk out of the door into another room. In fact I usually talk to the back of DP's head rather than his face!

Euro The ice cream over SWI did make me chuckle but I can see how that would've gone done like a lead balloon. My DP is food obsessed and nothing will stop him eating. We have hum dinger rows and he still manages to stop and eat his dinner.

Joycep I hate crying in front of strangers too. Having said that since all this TTC business I am definitely more fragile. At my Grandad's funeral I was doing that choking sobbing thing which was so embarrassing and very unlike me. It really shocked my mum.
I can't stand people who turn on the tears to manipulate people. My sister does that. If we argue & I point out that she is being unreasonable she will cry as if to say "look how mean you are". Gah!
It's difficult with the GP thing. Sometimes it is a case of better the devil you know. At my surgery we can see whatever doctor we like each time. I only see the same one because I like her and she has been knowledgeable about the PCOS. Is it worth perhaps seeing the other doctor just the once to talk to him about the NICE guidelines and to say that you aren't comfortable with the advice to wait another 6 months. Did you discuss your LP today? Maybe that could be your excuse to see the other doctor or maybe you could think of something else that you can say you forgot to mention before but it's bothering you, hence another appointment??????

I'm waffling and being bossy - sorry!

I cry much more easily than I used to and generally feel much more emotional and fragile. In fact I cry over something at least every other day .

joycep I sympathise with you having to hear your colleagues go on and on about babies, pregnancy etc. I've found that all my pregnant friends fall into one of two groups. The first moans about everything. How sick/tired/uncomfortable they feel, how they can't eat what they want or drink, how they have stretchmarks, can't fit into skinny jeans anymore etc etc. The second type goes on about how brilliant they feel, how special they feel blah blah blah, life is so perfect, I love my unborn child so much already etc etc. I can't decide what is more annoying. Either way pregnancy seems to make people totally self obsessed. I was thinking today that I can't remember the last time one of my pregnant friends actually asked how I am, as soon as I meet them or phone them it's all about them and their bumps. I swear I won't be like this if I ever do get pregnant.

I know what you mean about being more fragile now. I feel like that. I think this biz has made me unhinged. Last night there was no bread in the bread bin and I nearly started balling and so I asked the kitchen wall whether the whole world was against me. How pathetic, overly dramatic and shameful. I can't even blame hormones at this time of the month.
I think it's a good idea to speak with the other GP Pout. I am cross with myself for not pushing further. Stupidly I didn't have in my mind what I wanted to say. Normally I have to revise a script as I'm inept at putting my thoughts and wants across. I asked the GP whether I could get this progesterone I am taking on the NHS because I said the gynae says my LP is too short and I don't produce enough progesterone. Anyway she said No because there is no proof progesterone works and said the LP is not a problem.

Mrsd - i dread the day i hear any one of my friends say how wonderful they feel and how great life is. I know that goes on FB but luckily I'm not exposed to it. I know I will be highly sensitive to other people if we ever end up pregnant. And i know I wouldn't send texts or emails about me and my bump to someone i know is trying. But I know my friend who does this means well but it's very difficult to feel excited for her.

I just think people cannot grasp how awful it is unless they have been here. I was speaking to my bestest friend today and she doesn't understand the effect it has...the lonliness, the worry, the balling .

Oh and just spoken to the pregnant girl in my office. I asked her whether she has wanted kids for a while and she said yes but it has taken them a while. I think it must have taken them a year because she said she gave up smoking a year ago. She is nearly 38 and her DP is nearly 50.

Just to say that I am crying loads too, and getting really irritated over stupid things that are really inconsequential. It's a bit like having bad PMT for weeks on end. DH is trying really hard but I must be incredibly difficult to live with. Add to that having his mother in law in the house for a month and I bet he was thrilled to return to work today

joycep I don't know what to say about the GP. I used to bounce around depending on who was available. Now I've found someone who seems friendly and supportive so I'm going to try and stick with her. We'll have to see how that plan works out depending on what happens with the fertility clinic.

Happy Birthday Nelly!!!!! I'm lucky to get dh to swi every other day, he would run a mile if I suggested that we do it twice in one day, or every day for a week like mrsden

Euro my dh would opt for ice cream too. Personally, I would go for crisps

Wow, lots to catch up on this evening.

Happy Birthday Nelly - twice in a day on your birthday would be a good conception moment!

Joycep sorry for your utterly pants pants day. It's funny isn't it, before we were trying, I probably got bombarded by baby things just as much, in fact I know I did. I didn't even bat an eyelid. But now I'm hyper sensitive to even a sniff of a pregnancy, it is so annoying. I too am crying at least weekly when previous to trying I was also a heart of stone lady (can't remember who said this) that never cried at anything at all. I'm also anxious and unable to cope well with stupid petty things. My computer had a big crash last week which needed DH to do updates etc and I thought I'd lost a load of our wedding photos - I behaved as if there had been a total catastrophe. I'd hate to live with me right now.

Also - totally with pout that your gp is a tool. How dare she! I'm with the advice to go back, even if you see someone else. I tend to go from gp to gp at my practice but when I found a nice lady I stuck with her. Pity she went on maternity leave . But latest gp gets my vote cos of taking 18 months himself to get his partner pregnant. He was very understanding about the stress of the situation. (I imagined his crying wife when he told me that). And yes, we all know the natural way is best, silly moo! As for get saving, well, I was about to burst a blood vessel in my head when I read that.

Also sorry madness about the spotting. As a spotter, I know just how shitty it is. It's like OK, so I'm out this month, so just get the f**k on with it now, don't dawdle around for days. Also, the implantation bleeding really messes with my head. As does my conviction that it means there is something wrong with me, even though I know people who spotted and got pregnant easily. I hate spotting. What a good car bumper sticker.

MrsDen sorry about the lazy eggs. If it is any consolation, I also had severe crying episode yesterday because my temp didn't go up on bloody CD20. It was a tiny bit higher today but not really, so I'm pretty sure this cycle is a bust. I don't think we even timed it right because I had no idea what was happening and the every other day thing went wrong yesterday because we were both just knackered. I've no idea why things haven't gone to plan this month, I normally am pretty regular give or take a day or two. I was poorly when I had my period and quite fevery, maybe this messes things up. Or maybe some months we just don't ovulate. Although, pout I have had ewcm his month only for about 7 days and I got three days of positive opks - all most unusual. I fell like my body really tried to rev itself up but didn't manage it in the end. Also, yes sperm does get in the way of trying to tell! I've read in countless places that this is quite common, but I don't think it should be allowed in ttc world where every month feels precious. Also, boo to mums for careless words! Mine does it too. I'm sure they mean well, but the things they say do feel a bit perverse sometimes.

popcorn I did Bikram today and survived! I liked it - I think, but it was very hard and I feel shot to pieces now. It does sound as if we are in very similar positions, in lots of ways. Can I be cheeky and ask how long you've been trying? I really hope you get through the next few evil days as calmly as you can and will be keeping my fingers crossed for you. We can't leave biscuits on her own there forever. Nice one by the way biscuits, I hope I get to visit some point soon. Preferably before I'm forty.

Morning lovely ladies!

I had a weekend off mumsnet, after I had a massive "it is not fair and why can't it be me" when I received yet another pregnancy announcement. I think I did ovulate and we may have done SWI at roughly the right moment. On doctor's orders I am no longer obsessing about when exactly, which I like. Although come AF-time I'll be gutted not to know when it is due!

Big hugs to mrsd for the twin cysts, that is really crap. Good that you have a reassuring gyn, though. And saving for IVF is what we'll do as well :( Much sympathy to madness and joycep for the cryathon (as we call it here, it is a very familiar feeling). Agree with pout and popcorn about going back to see someone else. The fobbing off is just not on! Well done to popcorn on the yoga adventures. It is on my to-do-again list, but I have been slack since coming back from hols. And drinking loads

Who went to the wedding and balled their eyes out? I did too. But then only 12 people turned up for the party, so I just felt sorry for the couple and made the most of it. It's our annivarsary coming up, and I have some mixed feelings about that (14 months of TTC) and my MIL declared their intention to celebrate it with us. Thankfully DH and I agreed that would not be such a great idea and we're escping for a weekend away

Happy birthday to Nelly and I hope the SWI will do the trick. Who as it that had a weekend in SWI? That made me smile.

Wave to all you lovely ladies and especially for those I failed to mention, I am terrible at remembering everything I want to say!

Joycep How are you feeling today? Surely today has to be better than yesterday, you had a really, really bum day. BTW I totally get the asking the wall if the world is against you - I feel sometimes like there is some conspiracy going on to test me & I find it is the little things like running out of bread that sets me off!

Peace I'm sorry that you think that this cycle has been a dud. You never know though. Think about all those cycles where we have all done everything right and it's come to nothing. Sods law says that the month we think is a write off will be the one.

LovesLemon Your poor friends - why did so few people turn up? Nosey emotion
Is the world full of pregnant people - another announcement!? Sometimes I am glad that my few friends aren't close by and we only communicate via e-mail & FB - at least I don't get blindsided by too many preggo announcements!

I had my GP appointment yesterday. She didn't eject me from the surgery for time wasting which was a relief! The bad news is because we are moving out of West Sussex I won't be eligible for IVF the positive is that she agrees that it is worth investigating endo and recommended a lap. She said that it is a difficult one to call because you can't TTC while endo is being investigated and treated which is why fertility consultants don't routinely test for it - they would rather push you straight through to IVF apparently. But she said that in my case she thinks it would be beneficial to put TTC on hold & investigate because it may well be the reason why I'm having trouble conceiving. However because we are moving in theory , I will need to get referred by my new GP, she can't make the referral.
I thought that I would feel devastated by the thought of not being able to TTC for a while but actually I am a tiny bit relieved that I may have stumbled on a reason why I'm not getting upduffed. That said knowing my luck no endo will be found and we will just have wasted a few cycles trying!

My new plan is now to get upduffed before the referral but also try to have a bit more of a positive outlook that there is the possibility of a lap that might help on the horizon. I also intend to sort my life out and try and get out of this rut of inaction where I just spend all my time waiting to get pregnant. I AM going to start with clearing out some junk priceless treasures in preparation for our move. It struck me that I am a terrible hoarder and I don't need the scraps of tissue paper or offcuts of wrapping paper that I've saved from presents people gave me, I NEVER reuse them. I also don't need to be "saving" stuff for best and using crappy stuff instead that could be binned. Nobody in the event of my death is going to appreciate unused Matalan mugs, they are not Wedgewood FGS! Nobody will be taking them to the Antiques Roadshow where the expert will swoon over the pristine quality of them and marvel at the fact that the stickers are still on the bottom adding an extra 2 pence to the value. Finds waders, bin bags, hard hat and breathing apparatus and heads off towards the cupboard under the stairs

How are you both feeling today madness and joycep? I hope today is a bit better for you.

That sounds positive pout about getting the endo investigated. My cousin had a lap done to look for endo last week. She isn't ttc (she's single and only 22) but had suffered really badly with period cramps for years. She didn't have to wait long for the appointment because she got a cancellation. Anyway, they didn't find anything so she still doesn't know what causes her such bad period pain but she said the lap was fine. Although she said she was full of gas for a few days and she was a bit shaky after she woke up from the GA.

I know it will be annoying to put ttc on hold but it would be better to have it investigated. I like your plan of having a clear out. It's something I should really do but it's hard to find the motivation.

joycep I totally understand the world is against me feeling. I feel like that too. Why do I have to have pcos and poor ovulation as well as DH having bad sperm? Why can everyone else in my life get pregnant straight away?

I feel a bit brighter today though, I wish AF would show up so I can get on with another cycle now I know this one is a duff one.

Has anyone else decided on the names of their yet to be conceived children? I've just discovered the UK's 2010 names list so I am going to waste my morning off going through it for inspiration. Please tell me I'm not the only one?

mrsden you are way behind, we have our girl's name ready (since about 3 months before TTC). But I find boy's names more difficult so maybe... No I won't waste time on that today!

Goodluck/Well done on the clearing out pout, I should do that too. But I really hate it, so claim I don't have the time. And we are not moving anywhere. Perhaps making the living room livable is a good plan, in any case . Getting your endo checked out sounds like a good plan! Even if it means a few months off TTC. What will they do if they find some?

Re: the wedding, I am still not sure what happened... I reckon they don't have that many friends, many must be on holidays and the elder guests disappeared home very early. It was one of those moments that you realise in some things you are very lucky. We had a lovely time when we got married last year and were (as it should be) the first to leave at 1am. I have been having a few more grateful moments, so am feeling ok. Which meant that my appraisal (in which I cried last time we tried ) went really well. The upshot is that I'll be taking an intensive course for the next two years. So for now I am assuming no BFP let alone a baby will be along soon!

How are joycep and madness today? Has the crying abated? Fingers crossed for better days!

And finally, yes pout my world is full of pregnant people and newborns :(
I did spent a lovely day with a friend who has struggled herself (2 years, 4 MCs) to finally have this healthy pregnancy. And she is sensitive and positive and I am actually delighted for her. (I suppose I would really be mean and bitter, if I weren't...)

Meh, no temp rise today. Still wondering what has happened. I asked dh if maybe I was going through the menopause, you can imagine his face. Even I had to laugh at my incessant worrying. I wonder if I've exercised a bit too much. Have been doing 90 minutes of yoga nearly every day and running too. Mm. Which makes me feel better and less anxious, but isn't a fat lot of good if it is messing with my hormones. MrsDen does pcos get picked up with a scan? And pout are you being investigated for endo because of period pain? Or are there other things that suggest it. I worry about that because my period pains can be really awful, and I spot a lot. But no doctor has mentioned pcos or endo.

Worry worry. But at least I'm not in the two week wait! Or at least I don't think I am. This limboness could go on a while. Not sure what I'll say when I go to the consultant next week if he asks if I ovulate regularly, probably will bore him/her senseless with this months story (will stay firmly rooted in my seat until I've finished!). Speaking of which, i'm sure there were other people who were due to go around the same time as me? Reveal yourselves so we can swap notes!

Mrsd I have had a girls name picked out for the last 3 years & every time I hear it on TV or see it on the names threads here I wince. I also panic that some Sleb will use the name and all of a sudden it will be an in vogue name & I'll have to abandon it.

I keep changing my mind about the boys names and DP hates all my choices anyway. He hates anything biblical or in his words "pretentious". I think though that it's important for a child to have a unique name and not be one of many children with the same name in the class. That said I'm not a fan of totally weird names just for the sake of being different - Harper Seven anybody

Lemon Clearing out is just so awful to contemplate because you seem to end up with a bigger mess than when you started. When we were showing our house to prospective buyers I kept panicking that they would open a cupboard and all our junk would just spew out. I like a tidy house on the surface but just end up stuffing everything away!

I'm glad that your appraisal went well. Embarking on a 2 year course is surely bound to lead to a BFP

Madness / Peace - I'm sorry you're all crying weekly as well. Surely one day we will look on these years as character building...uuum!

Peace - is Bikram yoga more beneficial than yoga? And do you think yoga is good fo do for fertility?

Pout - i am really pleased to hear that your GP didn't shuffle you out the door and was actually responsive. that's positive. How long would you have to give up ttc for? I thought you could start ttc once you have recoved from the lap? Also, i think I have said this before but Doctor Winston (oddly who i find very sexy) recommends people are given a lap if they have unexplained infertility so I think it is definitely a really good idea to get it done especially as you have symptoms of endo. Are you definitely moving out of Sussex then? Anyway, you're sounding really positive this morning which is good. And i totally understand the rut of inaction where you just wait around to get pregnant. I vowed at the beginning of the year I would find myself a hobby but I haven't got round to it. Instead I mope around the place! Very impressed with the de-cluttering.

MrsD - I'm feeling much better today thank you. I think if you're really tired, things also get on top of you and actually I was exhausted yesterday. I'm so sorry about my negative ranting yesterday...I had jus heard aboutt oo many pregnancies over a 3 day period and my GP didn't help.
Also, I decided on names years ago but I try not to think about it anymore because little Sophie or Jack should have been born by now!!
I hope everyone else is ok.

lemons - sorry you have hada crap week as well. I hope you're feeling slightly better.

Peace what cycle day are you on? Yikes I'm beginning to think that that there is some lunar phenomenon this month where there is mass annovulation. Weirdly I had what was definitely like EWCM yesterday on CD7???????? Cue very reluctant SWI at stupid o'clock culminating in me uttering the words that every man must love to hear "oh God that was abysmal" Oops.

I did a Google search on Endo and there are lots of symptoms. I found that along with the painful periods I have clots, tiredness, frequent urination, hip pain, adbo pain & bowel problems amongst others. It was like a light bulb moment when I read about it because I had always thought that these were weird, unexplained things that I always thought were me just being flaky!

I have worried myself into a stupor over early menopause too and Premature Ovarian Failure