TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

Euro I actually feel angry for you!! It is all stressful enough without lost appointments and food poisoning to boot. I really empathise there, because last week when I was puking and other unmentionables and having AF, I felt totally f*ing miserable. Indeed, its taken til now to start to feel cheered up. My stomach is still dodgy, so hope yours goes away quickly.

This month I really have lost my ttc mojo. Can't be arsed to temp, went wine tasting last night and have eaten all things white not wholemeal (how ridiculous that sounds, but I'm sure you know what I mean!). No grapefruit juice in sight or pillows under bums or lubey applicators. It all seems a little pointless, but I'm sure I'll get more positive again, I remember having a f**k it month in March. I think I should be in my run up to ovulation, but not a peep of it being on it's way.

Today, someone told me that a woman I vaguely know is pregnant with twins. I know that in March 2010 she was having IVF. Hurray for her I thought - then about two minutes later I felt massively jealous. This is not nice or rational thinking - what have I become?

Oh and glad that you are having thorough appointments Mrsden - it sounds like an overwhelming amount of things to get your head round, sending you soothing vibes.

That sounds like good service, mrsd, if not wholly encouraging because of mrd's circumstances.

Still, ICSI is a great way to deal with male factor issues (if you end up down that road).

Euro - I'm absolutely riled for you. What the hell is wrong with things here. Sorry but as much as I love the NHS , things really are going down the pan. And apparently all non urgent stuff like tonsils being taken out won't be allowed any more. It doesn't bode well for ivf does it.

Mrsd - how are you feeling with all this stuff going on? You sound quite calm about it all. So the cysts she mentioned last time are actually pcos? Can you get any of this treatment free out where you are? Also what does prolactin mean? I don't think i have had that test - perhaps one to add to the list!

Well I know AF is just wanting to show her ugly face but my progesterone supps are keeping her away. Not a spot or a cramp in sight so AF is inevitable. That feeling of hopelessness and despair will be on its way. urrrghhhhhhh

I do feel sort of calm joycep, I'm not angry or stressed or anything but I feel sad. I had booked the day off work so when I got home I went to bed for a couple of hours because I was feeling low and I've not had the energy to do much today. I hope this feeling will pass.

I'm not going to google prolactin because I don't want to worry. I don't think it's likely to be anything, she did say my levels were not high just a bit above normal and that this can be caused by stress. She said the act of piercing the skin for the blood test can cause the body to release prolactin so that might be what happened. I was feeling pretty stressed when I had that blood test done anyway because it was straight after I'd been told about DH's SA and also I hate having blood taken. So hopefully if they do this other one where they pierce the skin and then wait before drawing the blood it will come back ok.

I'm a bit confused about the pcos. Last time she said I had a cyst on one ovary but the other looked ok. But today she said my LH was higher and that can be a sign of pcos and then she said and one of your ovaries did look polycystic when I looked last time. So she did the scan again and then said they both looked polycystic and showed us them on the screen. So not sure why she said otherwise last time. I think she must have wanted to wait until she had the blood test results before saying anything. The strange thing is I'm slim, no excess hair and although my cycles vary they only vary between 29-35 days so not massively. She did say it is not a big problem if I still ovulate and I think I do but the progesterone test will confirm if I do. It did look like the follicle was gearing up for ovulation too on the scan so fingers crossed.

I do feel like everything is being thrown at us, like it is not enough just for DH to have a problem but I have to have crappy ovaries too. She made me feel a bit better by saying at least I was young and nowhere near the menopause! I had been thinking that 30 feels old, I realised yesterday that all my female family have had their first child in their twenties so that was making me feel like an old hag. But she said 30 is young still and gives us a much better chance of ivf working. So there's one positive to hold on to.

Just a quick one because DP is working from home today and hogging the desk but I just wanted to say that I can understand how pissed off you are Euro. I remember being incandescent with rage when I got a phone call the day before one of my appointments to tell me they couldn't find any of my tests results. I got very angry and cried - lots. I just felt like they didn't understand the stress associated with fertility issues and didn't treat it with the degree of seriousness it required. I remember their first response was to blame me for not having had the tests done. God only knows how angry you must be about losing your referral. Do they not understand that waiting for 2 months is a LONG time in the world of TTC when you've already spent months waiting to get pregnant?? I hope this gets sorted for you and they fit you in pronto. It's also typical that this would happen when you're unwell and expecting AF. Give those tourists hell - I used to work behind Fleet Street and used to walk around with my elbows out, it was that or get my eyes gouged out with umbrellas!

Mrsd PCOS? Just to reassure you I have that but also seem to ovulate. Did your gynae mention taking Metformin tablets? They are apparently good for helping ovulation and also good for taking in the early stages of pregnancy to protect against miscarriage in PCOS sufferers.

Sorry I haven't been very eloquent but I am banging out the message before DP comes back upstairs.

Thanks pout. I usually walk to work from London Bridge along the South Bank and over the Millenium Bridge and most mornings want to throw the school groups that congregate outside the Globe/block the bridge taking photos into the Thames. One day i will flip and do it. Watch this space .

The "benefit" of calling from work was that I couldn't have a TTC meltdown at them on the phone (i.e. "Don't you know how long 2 months is when you're 35 and want a baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???"). So at least I preserved some dignity.

AF is here but I actually feel happier now (mostly because my stomach seems to have stopped doing washing machine impressions). Although my LP just seems to have got a day shorter. I thought agnus castus was supposed to make it longer. I'm confused. I'm seeing needles woman next week so manybe she can figure out what is going on.

mrsd, I am not sure but I think raised proactin levels can be a PCOS indicator too. I vaguely remember reading it somewhere but I am not sure. LH above FSH is a typical indicator (they should be around 1:1 ideally). BTW, I have periods of similar regularity to you, and I am slim. I do have some hair though (not a huge amount and it has all be lasered off now!). But yes, PCOS is a fertility problem when it stops you ovulating. Otherwise it really shouldn't be.

I am obviously feeling better. A good friend just texted to say his girlfriend is pregnant.... And look, no meltdown.

I'm glad that you are feeling better. Have you sorted anything out yet about your appointment? Have you worked out who exactly messed up - GP or hospital?

I think I am about to join you in the AF stakes. Have started with the tinged CM so it will be here in a day or two. Like you it is also early - am only 11DPO.

No pregnant friend meltdown, that's impressive.

Evening all, I've just been looking at symptoms of women who've got bfps. I've convinced myself I'm upduffed haha!!!

In reality cm has changed colour so af must be on it's way, but annoyed as tmr is only Dpo11

Euro well done

Well done for no meltdown euro. I now expect the whole world to get pregnant before me so I think that helps prevent the meltdowns. It does hurt though.

I've just seen this Soooo glad I left facebook.

Sorry to hear of your appointment tribulations Euro, that is really shit. I think this type of admin chaos happens all over unfortunately, my neighbour started to lose his memory 18 months ago, there is a window of time when symptoms start with some types of dementia when it can be slowed down by drug treatment, he still hasnt got a formal dementia diagnosis despite endless appointments, delays, missing files, ect ect, and now the window where drugs could have helped has been missed and he's lost so much of himself . It seems to be that the ideal time frames for treatment for things that wont actually kill you but cause so much stress and heartbreak, like fertility, memory loss, mental health problems ect, and what you actually get appointment/treatment wise is so far removed

Sounds like you got a lot of info at your appointment mrsden hope you are ok. what do you think you will do now? is moving forward to ICSI and IVF somthing you want to/are able to do?

Thanks for all the kind words.

pout I am pretty sure it was the hospital. The GP admin staff seem as exasperated as I am. They called yesterday after sending the referral for the third time to confirm it had been received (it had).

That's terrible about your neighbour skelly. Really sad. I didn't know about the window. My gran is also showing early signs of dementia. I should pobably be encouraging her to seek help then. The hurdle will be my dad who is in complete denial that all is not well with his mother. Thank you for alerting me to this.

I would definately encourage her to go and have a chat with the GP if she is experiencing some of the symptoms Euro from what I know of dementia, although it is unfortunealy incureable, some types of dememtia can be slowed down by drug treatment so that the person retains their memory and function for longer, I think drug treatment can slow or halt the symptoms for a a year or two.

Glad to hear that the hospital has your referal now, maybe phoning them whenever you get chance to ask if they have processed it will speed things up, sometimes being a pain in the arse is the only way to get stuff done

Hi everyone, have been very busy at work this week so not keeping up. On phone so just wanted to check in and say hello. Still spotting so not yet onCD1. but feeling very as OH went to do his SA sample last Friday and hasnt called the GP yet. Just phoned him to ask him if he was going to do it, he said he was too busy. Great, except he is away all next week and I'd bloody like to know what is going on after 14 pointless fucking cycles

Still at least he is away when ERTD is here . Plus I'm looking forward to having the house to myself all week . Hope everyone else is ok. With about 20 less hours in the office next week, plus no OH, I should be on MN all the time a bit more.

oh and also testing strikeout

Oh good, after a year I've just realised you can strikeout whole sentences I'm an idiot!

Ho everyone, just checking in. I'm on cd 55 now with no sign of AF. I've called the drs and my thyroid is normal but hormone levels aren't unsurprisingly! So I've got an appt for 10th Aug to discuss, that was first appt they had!

Should have said hi everyone not Ho!

Mrsd - it's just too unfair that you have been thrown pcos into the mix. But as people have said, it doesn't sound like it will be a problem so try not to worry.

izzy - i'm so sorry you are having awful issues with AF. Can they do anything to kick start it?

Just seen that Daily Mail article about Facebook users being able to update their status to being pregnant! Grrrr. IQuite pleased to see the most popular comment is:
"I'm sick of everybody changing their profile pictures to ultrasound scans as it is!! Now they've just got another way to seek attention. Whatever happened to family privacy?"

Karbea - hope your predictions are right!! cross fingers for you.

I really feel the dreaded low of AF coming. Does anyone else just find themselves randomly crying when they are alone? I was walking in to work this morning and just felt so miserable, knowing that the next AF after this one will be practically September and then it's the rundown to Xmas. I've read so many stories about people getting pregnant straight after acupuncture, clomid, hsgs, hcg injections and I've done all of these but to no avail. It's difficult to know what to do next....IUI I guess and then next year IVF. Sorry I should be more cheerful for a Friday afternoon!!

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Karbea I hope that your BFP symptom research is accurate too!

Joycep It sounds like we are in the same boat. I am just waiting for the inevitable too. Have already started last evening with very slight spotting, boobs are less painful today and I have bitten DP's head off tonight. I just wish AF would hurry up and get going properly. Like you I just feel totally miserable and have spent today either boob prodding just to be sure that my boobs are deflating, knicker checking or moping about the fact that I can't seem to get pregnant. I had started to feel hopeful this cycle too because I had two feeling faint episodes mid week. What a crock - again. Cycle 16 next up - I can't believe it.

joy I actually tend to feel less hormonal when I'm due to come on, much worse a week before.

pout I had slight (more dark yellow than brownish red) last night, but dry today, I guess af will come soon, I want it to hold off Till tmr as that'll be dpo12...

Pout - I am sorry you are here too. Well I walked into the ladies today and felt up my boobs and for some reason said out loud "oh boobies you are still sore". To my horror I realised someone was in the loo. I ran out pretty quick. I'm surprised there hasn't been a formal complaint to the building management "beware inappropriate behaviour in ladies". Anyway AF came last month when boobs were sore. I also had a dizzy spell during the week pout - I didn't dare believe .... Well not really !

Karbea I'm so glad (in a strange way!) that you mentioned the more dark yellow than brown/red thing. Mine too, more rust coloured in fact. I couldn't find anything on the internet and thought I must be some kind of freak! I'm glad that you are too
I am a bit fed up that I'm spotting so early in my cycle too - 11DPO it started. I just hope that my LP length isn't about to go tits up. Hope you make it until tomorrow!

Joycep Are you feeling better? I've had a good vent to DP tonight and now don't feel quite so much like I want to hack my own head off. I just feel really flat and deflated now.

I must admit I did get a bit excited about the faint thing because it was such a strong, weird feeling.

Do you ever wonder whether things are happening in a cycle but it isn't sticking? I ask because I can't believe that I am so obsessed that I am imagining all these weird things every cycle & it's all been just PMT.

at talking to your boobs.

pout the very first month we tried I'm convinced well fell pregnant but lost it. I guess you have to think that there was something wrong with the embryo :(