TTC 6+ months plus, part 2

[skeletonbones]

New thread as the old one was getting to 1000. So, 4 BFP's in the last thread, lets see if we can up the total considerably on this one :)

hi NervousNell yes i am new, That was my theory, if they tell me theres nothing wrong then i can relax a little maybe book a week off ;) but i just wanted to get the ball rolling as , not only is it a pain not being able to get pg during the month i miss a period - i also do about 5 tests thinking 'maybe'!!!

speak soon x

Morning everyone. Hope you are all ok today.

Purple sorry your doctor is being hopeless. Mine was a lot bit in the dark too and I really just needed him to tick the boxes to give us a referral so we could speak to someone who knew what was what.

Sweetpb hope you get your referral soon xx

I think I need someone to give me a jolly good talking to. Am getting loads of preggo symptoms this month which are different to the ridiculous ones I have 'spotted' every other month we've been ttc. Different stomach aches, lower back pain and my boobs are more sore (not usually an AF thing for me). Ov'd late this month so AF due sometime between today (by cycle length) and Monday (by LP). the wait is driving me crazy . After 19 mths of ttc I so want it to be this time but don't want to have my hopes dashed again. And obviously at least 6 days of toilet wipe-checking (sorry tmi ) might just drive me insane waiting for AF.

When I was pg with DS I don't think I really had any symptoms before BFP but then I had had a mc before so was busily talking myself out of any symptoms.

Feel a mess today and no idea how i'll get to Monday. And dreading that AF will turn up anyway and crush me in the meantime.

I promised myself I wasn't even going to write this as it made it worse for the symptom spotting but am going mad. It is so unlikely that after 19 mths we would just suddenly get a BFP

Help! Xxx

And then just to top it off, just plugged in temp monitor and it shows temp dropping right back down today and yesterday [where's the emoticon for sobbing like an idiot].

How can this be another practice month with all those stupid symptoms?

Morning,

So sorry you're struggling Biscuits. In the last 13 months I've had so many symptoms..... The really frustrating thing is that I can never truly talk myself out of getting my hopes up, because even if I'm creating the symptoms, that doesn't mean that I'm not still pregnant but just having no early symptoms, if that makes any sense? Do you have things planned for this weekend? I always find that it helps to keep myself busy. Being off work for the summer is giving me way too much time to think about TTC. You'll never stop thinking about it completely, but having people over for dinner or being out and about means that I don't give in to my full-blown hysteria :)

My mum arrives this afternoon so my posts may soon become slightly more akin to those of a 15 year old girl. I have a habit of reverting to my teenage years whenever we're staying in the same house. It is not normally pretty! Perhaps this visit will be the one where I can remain a calm and collected grown-up who isn't irrationally irritated by everything she says.....

Thanks Madness - bit of a dull weekend planned actually as DH will most likely be working so will be trying to entertain DS. Might be a time to call in some grandparents I think! I know what you mean about the 'imaginary' symptoms thing too and the fact it could mean you just have no early symptoms. I don't think I really had any early symptoms with DS so wouldn't find a lack of symptoms to mean that I wasn't pg (good luck if you made sense of that sentence....)

I know what you mean about parents visiting though. My mum doesn't often have to stay as they live quite close but I find myself reverting to my teenage self on the phone etc.

Am pretty sure I've got period pains coming on now anyway so perhaps I won't have to wait until Monday to find out :(

Oh well onwards and upwards to Clomid-land. Not holding out great hopes as there isn't anything obviously wrong for the Clomid to fix but at least I know that after that we can try IUI or IVF and then we'll be calling it a day if none of that works.

I am really worried that I am not giving DS 100% through worrying about all this and think I should just be grateful for what I have (and I AM grateful for him - I appreciate even more now how lucky we are to have him) but I just feel that if someone could tell me whether we would ever get pg or if it was never going to work then I would be happier with all the waiting!

Morning everyone,

Sorry you are feeling down biscuits, perhaps they are good symptoms but I know it's better to try and ignore them and see if AF arrives. The waiting is so hard, I think you need to organise a really busy weekend to try and take your mind off it a bit. Easier said than done I know.

purple I'm pretty certain that the doctor has to let people see their results if they ask for them. Could your husband go down to the surgery and ask for them in person? I would ask to speak to the practice manager and ask for an explanation as to why they are refusing to disclose them if they still say no. The records belong to your husband after all.

popcorn we were told above 3% was normal for morphology if the Kruger scale was used. Your DH's count is excellent though so even at 2% that still means there are loads of good sperm. Do you know what the motility was like? Is he taking a conception vitamin supplement for men? Because these can help morphology and motility. Also, they change loads from sample to sample so the clinic will probably ask him to do a second one and you may find it gives totally different results and there is nothing to worry about.

thatway good luck with your mum. I am the same, I regress 15 years when I am with my parents or my siblings. I honestly don't feel like an adult when I'm around them which is one of the reasons why I'd be mortified to tell them if I ever get pregnant! So pathetic!

popcorn agree re the SA results. Don't know what scale was used for ours but first sample showed really low motility and then another sample 2-3 mths later was fine. Can vary from sample to sample and also in between he had cut down on pepsi and started taking pregnacare his n hers conception thingy (obv DH was only taking the 'his' bit). He has never drunk tea / coffee or much alcohol but both those could improve too. Of course we're still not pg though....

hello everyone,
I am back from my hols and had a lovely time, and thought I would come and say hello to you all hello to all the newbies. Sounds like many of us are at the doctors tests and investigations stage now. mrs den Good to hear that your husbands test results were better this time, but sorry to hear that they have not improved enough to make IUI the better option compared to IVF, fingers crossed they will continue to improve as your husband keeps taking the suppliments and supercharge some successfull swimmers.

hope your mums visit goes ok thatway and as you are my cycle twin on this thread dare I ask how things are going?, I bombed out again this month as AF arrived yesterday, but I feel that I should get some TTC drama points for how it arrived, haha. I was in the middle of my graduation ceremony for my degree and had to rush out to the loo as i felt the bloody thing starting, and I had just noticed that two of the ladies on my course were sporting big bumps, they had oviously had the same idea to try in the last year and have a baby after exams ect and been been successfull and another lady had just had her little baby boy last week. I didnt even get to enjoy my graduation champagne either as i had horrbible cramps all day too which made me feel sick. Apart from that though I did really enjoy the day and it was lovely to see all my course mates, many of them for the last time if they are moving away ect ect. and the people who are preg or just had the baby are all such nice people I didnt feel jealous (much! ) and did feel genuinely plesed for them so it was all good.
I have finally plucked up the courage to go to the docs too and ask for day 21 bloods, going on friday to see the very brusque female doctor at the practice, her people skills arn't great, but she specialises in gynae and has been good in the past when I have been to her about thrush ect ect.

finally I would like to throw in an alternative to the crazy cat lady option for those who are allergic to fur, I have decided that crazy snake lady is my option of choice. People stopping me to look in the pram and expecting a baby or a least a cute little doggy or kitten dressed as a baby will get much better shock value for money when they see my pram choc full of writhing snakes, of all varieties. Its a shame they dont have feet for little booties, but adorable tiny bonnets that attach just under the fangs will be just as nice....

Popcorn - it's infruriating when you go in to see a GP and they just look at you blankly. And I'm really not big headed but I have spoken to several GPs and one socially, and I swear I know more about fertility than they do. I agree with what others say - your DH's count is good and don't forget that will just be ml, so you times it by the vol and it gives you the amount he produces in a sample. This is what my acupuncturist told me anyway. Also I was on another thread witha girl whose DH had 2% morph and she got pregnant twice. Just make sure he wears boxers, avoids hot baths etc etc. Also, apparently there are some great vitamins that you can order from Australia and actually Mrsd have you heard about these? Sorry I will try and find out what they are called but I have heard big success rates with these.

Biscuits - it's just punishment isn't it. Whenever I allow myself to get my hopes up , I just try and tell myself to stop it. Although apparently being positive is a must when you are ttc.

Skeleton - welcome back, I was wondering where you had gone but obviously not in a stalkerish way Congrats on graduating!

Welcome back skeleton, congratulations on graduating How rude of AF to come along, so typical isn't it?

joycep oh what are these Australian vits then? Will have to google, poor DH has a panic every night to remember his tablet. I'm pretty good at reminding him though!

Do any of you get hormone related spots? I only get a couple of spots a month on my chin but they are always at the same time, in the first bit of the cycle before ovulation e.g from CD5 - 12ish. But I always thought that spots were supposed to come before AF because they're always listed as a pms symptom? I've now convinced myself it's because my hormones are all mucked up. When in your cycle do you get spots?

Purple I don't see how they can refuse to give your husband the results. He has a right to access his own medical records. Persist and write to the practice manager if the gp/receptionist is being difficult.

Why do people have to make this process more difficult than it needs to be? Don't they realise it is stressful enough?

From the NHS's own website:

www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/1309.aspx?categoryid=68&subcategoryid=160

Purple I think that for some surgeries (mine is like this) the receptionist will only say whether all is normal or that the tests showed a problem and you have to make an appointment with the doc. I think that to get the full breakdown you have to see the doctor. Not sure why the receptionist can't give the details but I guess they are pushed for time and are worried that the receptionist might be asked too specific questions. Annoying I know but I s'pose you wouldn't want some admin person who thinks they know about medical things because they work at the doctors adding their tuppence worth and "interpreting" your results!

Mrsd I find that I get spots from about age 15 and counting

Welcome back Skeleton and congratulations on your graduation. Sorry about AF, her arrival truly was something, maybe she wanted a certificate too.

Biscuits Oh God the dreaded 2ww and symptoms - poor you, it's so difficult to know what is what. I was giving myself a little pep talk this morning whilst walking the dogs that I was not going to pay any heed to "symptoms" this month unless something truly spectacular happened that is irrefutably pregnant like. So of course I now fully expect my stupid body to top any of it's previous efforts and no doubt my nipples will go luminous pink & ten times the size or something.

Madness Good luck with your mum staying. When mine comes I have to be "Mum" because she is so inept at everything - or claims to be!!!!! The last time she stayed, amongst other things, I used to have to turn the shower on for her every time because she couldn't apparently work out how to turn a knob clockwise despite being shown. I'm trying to wind down her visits for the sake of my sanity!

Joycep The positivity thing is weird. I think this is the first cycle where I truly don't believe that it could happen. Maybe I have just reached the point where I am just too fed up to care now! Mind you I've got a whole 2 weeks before AF to go yet.

Hello Sweetpea

Pout and Joyce* - so true about the positivity thing. I know I'm supposed to stay positive, but it just makes it even more of a roller coaster than it already is. I would be in pieces if I had been confident of being pregnant 19 times already only to have my hopes dashed. So I find I have to try and keep a bit of realism in there for my own sanity. But then don't want to do myself out of a pg by being realistic

And I know what you mean about the pep talk too Pout - funnily enough I had a similar chat with myself at the start of this month and lo and behold my body has gone and pulled some previously unseen symptoms out of the bag (although I should clarify, my nipples are not luminous pink...)

Congratulations on your graduation Skeleton although not so pleased about AF turning up - she REALLY doesn't get it does she!

skelly Af does have a habit of turning up at awkward times.

My "best" one was the summit of Mount Sinai, after a 5 hr night time trek with only one composting toilet available that had a door that only came up to waist height, a queue of people outside able to see in and knowing that I had a trek down in the searing Egyptian summer heat to look forward to.

On my honeymoon, it turned up just after we had booked and paid for an open water snorkelling trip for that afternoon. We went anyway and my new husband spent most of the time on the lookout for sharks rather than looking at the pretty fishies! We had just decided we were being silly when we got back to the beach and saw a baby shark in 18 inches of water....

Biscuits Do you find that there is a weird conflict of emotions going on. On the one hand every month I know deep in my heart that I haven't got pregnant but there is this other voice that says after trying all this time, surely I must be which leads to the horrible disbelief when AF starts. It's so weird. This month though that second voice thankfully seems to have shut up.

I am quite curious as to what symptom will be pulled out of the bag this month. It seems that each month the ante is upped. Last month was period type pain long before AF that I hoped was implantation.

I was reading on the pregnancy board about early pregnancy symptoms just now and depressingly lots of people "just knew" at 3dpo or something. I am about 3dpo and feel nothing other than my usual sore boobs which makes me think nothing has happened and my egg has popped out to great fanfares only to find DP's two headed swimmers laying knackered and incapable so she's bogged off with the hump & is waiting for AF. I think that maybe I invest a little too much time thinking about this!

Euro I have a fascination with sharks and when I was reading your post I was thinking oh no I hope she didn't go snorkelling - think sharks smelling one drop of blood in an Olympic sized swimming pool!

I know what you mean about the conflict pout. My sensible head tells me that it is highly unlikely given DH's swimmers that I can get pregnant without help. But, I still sometimes feel positive and think oh maybe it has happened. This doesn't last long though, and I feel more negative about our chances every day. I can't believe that people know as early as 3dpo, surely no changes in the body have really happened by then. I do however think that no symptoms by day 12 is not a good sign though. My friend told me she knew from 7dpo because she was feeling dizzy and sick and very tired. I am so sensitive to the slightest thing now that I think I would know.

i just wrote a big message and then for some reason I was logged out and my message was lost boo. So, I have been missing in two week torture action and have just been trying to catch up with this busy thread. I send out love and hope to everyone and, as I am off work, will try and catch up properly later.

As I have already written a lengthy, feeling sorry for myself post and lost it (and I had sent a few messages to mrsden about my pre ovulation spots and biscuits hang on in there and also about sperms and morphology but I can't remember who to but please ask away) Anyway, I will provide an abridged list version that is probably less boring!

Af was officially one day late.
had spotting for 4 days, then it totally stopped for a day (unusual)
cue me thinking implantation bleeding
temps stayed high
threw up on 13dpo
in spite of feeling rough as a dog, me and dh kept smiling to each other
dh does evening trip to tesco for a test the next morning
14 dpo AF arrived in full glory in the middle of the night, everywhere (sorry if too graphic, but it was a real shock to dh - poor thing)
I'm no, make that we're, the saddest than we've been in ages
turns out I have a stomach bug (high temps and sickness = bug! note to oneself, the most probable explanation is usually correct)
Ive cried til im dehydrated.

Think that just about does it. I feel like my body can't do this and am scared by the spotting meaning something awful. And I hate the state I get myself into, i even have wondered if I've got myself into such a frenzy that it has actually made me sick.

I need some plan of action to ban symptom spotting. Because frankly, I have no idea how being a few days pregnant might feel at all. This has been a bitch of a period with horrible pains, so hopefully when it goes, I will feel beeter and pull hope out of the bag again. Do feel free to tell me to pull myself together!

pout we are cycle buddies. I am 4dpo.

I am having no symptoms other than terrible constipation. I think this may be the longest I have ever gone without going. And I am getting on a plane tomorrow.

I'm sorry to hear that peaceport. It's such an emotional rollercoaster, isn't it?

Thanks eurochick, it really is. I wish I could just get on with things and let it all pass me by, just having a job figuring how to do it!

Oh no Peaceport what a cruel trick for nature to play. That is just the worst. I know it's not much compensation but I'm sending you some hugs anyway xxx

And then to top it off Mumsnet loses your posts - grrrrr.

I agree about the conflict of emotions. The bit that thinks it probably hasn't happened this month and then the tiny flicker of hope that never goes away. Because we have DS I can't get it out of my head that it could work.

I feel it might be time to thank you ladies again for being around to offer support - don't know where I'd be without you all xxxxx

peaceport That is horrible. No wonder you are so upset. I'm sure that you will feel better and more optimistic again when AF goes. It's funny how AF is such a massive thing (the run up to and when it starts) and it is all you can think about but the last cycle is quickly forgotten as soon as ovulation starts up again - if that makes sense?

Oh God Euro I feel for you. It's probably not advisable to take any kind of laxative with the plan journey so imminent. Bugger. Have you tried drinking really hot strong coffee?

Peaceport I know what you mean about wishing you could just let it all pass you by - and I also have no idea to do that. I feel like I am turning into a loon unable to think about anything else . I actually couldn't sleep the other night because I was (in equal measures) excited that this could be it and cross at myself for getting carried away and caught up in it.

What are we going to do with ourselves?