Sixth Form Common Room part III - post mc ttc & pregnancy

[ZamMummyInGabs]

Hoping to continue the trend of the lucky thread....

ladybee lets drink lots of together then! (although the time difference might be an issue! )

Sounds just lovely dachs

mummya I just took the plunge and signed up for fertility friend...don't know what dh will think of it! Best put the thermometer out ready by the bed because I know I'll forget!

I keep my thermometer under my pillow, MissTina, along with my iphone to enter the temp straight into fertilityfriend through my phone.

Dachs one of things I said in my lost post, was some advice to give yourself (and mrdachs) permission to Not Enjoy all the wonderful holiday moments. Yes, it's a beautiful holiday and wonderful food and wine etc - and that's fantastic distraction but having the reason for the holiday lurking in the background is guaranteed to put a sour taste on some things and I think putting pressure on yourself to enjoy it all can be too much. I've wept into a few glasses of champagne on various holidays and those moments of wishing it was still off-limits can be very bitter. Hope this hasn't put a downer on it all, for you, just wanted to let you know we understood if it isn't all moonshine and serenades for you both, all the time.

I had a Bad Bad day the day before AF showed up. I was feeling lonely and taking DS to a local park where every single woman seemed to either be

1. Pregnant
2. Looking after a baby in a buggy while toddler flung themself about, or
3. There with a close girlfriend having a good old gossip.

I miss my UK friends and don't have anyone like that here, and I was feeling very sorry for myself so welled up in the middle of the playground. Which made me feel even more like a sad basket-case. Came home again, sobbed hanging out the washing and then sobbed again when the washing machine flooded.

It was a bad day. Fortunately my lovely DH picked up on the vibe when I called him and he brought home bath stuff, candles, chocolate, stuff to make dinner and a box set of Bourne films...so incredibly sweet.
I don't normally get so emotional pre-AF so managed to psyche myself into thinking maybe it was a sign of updiffedness, but no, just pre-period madness.
Now that AF is here, I feel relatively calm and optimistic again. And am promising myself to be a good girl with regard to pre-natals and metformin etc, as I've not exactly been taking those with much regularity.

DS starts his daycare this week - he's not thrilled at the prospect but I've been reminding him about the bunny that is there and reading him lots of 'going to nursery' stories and I think he's getting into the idea of it now. We'll go and buy him a backpack tomorrow - I wonder what chance I can steer him away from the Wiggles or Dora/Diego and towards nice bright non-branded colours?

Sorry you're missing your friends and that AF showed up.

(and there has been a certain amount of crying into champagne glasses so far)

Today we are going to Murano to try to find some nice pink and blue glass. I suspect there will be more crying.

Just updated myself on the stats thread and have bumped you down too MissTina hope that's ok.

What's that ZamMummy up to at the moment? She started the thread - I wonder if there's been any luck flying her way yet? I'm thinking of baggsying starting the next one when the time comes. I obviously need all the help I can get

Thanks lady but I'm not day 1 yet - still at the annoying brown gunk stage today, I'm expecting things to start properly tomorrow (perfect timing for gp on tues). I know what you mean about babies and preg ladies everywhere . Just on our way back from a country park, prams everywhere. And people with loads of kids. I only want 2 and it seems like I'm asking too much

Waves to dachs x

Tina you can start charting at any time, you dont have to wait for day1, in fact its better if you get practising straight away, it takes a little while to get into the habit at first, so the first few stats are always a bit off until you get into it. Also its handy to know what your AF temps are too for reference

LadyB big hug from one expat to another. I do understand that lonely feeling that gets you sometimes, particularly when you are going through something so major. Have you ever read anything about "Culture shock"? its a well documented phenomenum affecting ex-pats, worth reading up on so you know what you are in for. In the meantime, have another solidarity hug from me and see if you can write yourself a list of special treats/fun things you want to do over the next month and start working your way through them. You deserve lots and lots of treats, and hopefully that way will get to enjoy your big adventure abroad too. xxx

I started this morning mummya, although I had to use our normal tympanic thermometer because my basal one hasn't arrived yet. I meant I'm not day 1 for the list

hello all,

Am enjoying catching up with all your news.

ladybee sorry you are feeling lonely :( do you watch sex and the city? I remember one episode when carrie is in Paris, and is feeling lonely, and sees some girls in a cafe all chatting and laughing. It is a horrible feeling, but you will make new frineds, and settle down into NZ life. You sound like a person that is easy to make friends with :) x thank god you have a lovely DH.
tina how are you? I am a charter too, but having a break sine I am in WTF cycle.Any questions, ask away, there are a few of us charters on here.
tomboy I am only 2 weeks down the line from my 3rd MMc and we have decided not to wait to try either. We will just see what happens and if I get pg then good :)
mummy you sound brighter, are things looking up for you? x
dachs hooray for nice holiday and wine, but also very mindful that you would rather not be drinking wine at all, and still be very much pg :( DP has been here for 2 weeks after my mmc, and although it has been lovely having him here, I would rather he wasn't and I was still pg if you see what I mean. Roll on august for you xx
digi It sounds like full steam ahead for you and testing. I think I will see mr S too - I have emailed the midwife etc, but i think I will wait until my tests from the baby come back first to see if there is anything else I can tell him too.

hello to izzy yrotb jolls freezing collie wiggle and AandR. I am sure I have forgotten people, so if I have big wave to you too xx

thank you to everyone who replied RE getting a bfn following erpc. I am still showing positive but they are getting fainter and fainter.

Our new plan of action is that we have decided to move house. I think we need to - so much has gone on in this house, and I bought it myself 8 years ago so it is about time we bought together. I am quite excited, and if I happen to get pregnant in the mean time than so be it :)

back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks sick leave. I will see how I get on and if it is too much, i will just sack it for the rest of the week. I think I will be ok though. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend xxx

Hello ladies, feels like ages since I've been one here. I haven't had a proper read through yet but hope you're all well.

xx

ps) think I'm 10dpo so AF due thursday then am back on the ttc wagon. Woop!

OK, so it goes a little like this...

to venice and costa rica from the sunny north east

for BFN and AFs but fingers crossed for next time

(((hugs))) for feeling blue in a whole new country but here's to exciting new adventures

to digi and battery and here's to better luck for all of us next time round.

Sorry if I've missed anyone...has velvet, jolls or bbb been around lately? Hope you're ok if you're lurking xx

Can't believe I left the mousemeister off my long and epic post xx :(

Hello all! I've had a lovely weekend, all sunshine, swimming, park visiting, Sunday dinner in Carluccio's in Manchester, which was lush, I had 3 courses, each one scrummier than the last. the party was good, and we left by 10pm with the kids, a really nice weekend.

izzy you're right, it is a bit like riding a bike. Helped by the fact he was a very chilled and happy baby. And no, there are no bad omens anymore. It's all superstition and we don't buy into it, ok? .

mouse oh, wow, back on the rollercoaster soon! how are you feeling about it? looking forward to being proactive?

ma how are you? Sounding well and happy.

ladybee sorry you're feeling a bit overwhelmed. Making new friends can be a challenge, sometimes children are a help, and sometimes a hinderance to that! Don't forget you haven't been there that long, you will find lovely new friends soon, I guarantee it.

tina I think FF has advice on charting bbt and nightshift work, if I remember correctly.

digi enjoy acupuncture. Glad to hear the ovaries are going in the right direction, at least.

battery how lovely, a new house to think about. That sounds like a brilliant idea. I do love a bit of property porn myself . A guilty pleasure.

Waves to everyone else, taking the Rainbows off to the farm later,looking forward to it! Enjoy the sunshine.

Hope work's going ok battery. a new house, how exciting!

What a busy weekend yrmotb! you must be exhausted!

Not too long to go now then mouse

I'm confused...still no proper af, there were a few drops of actual blood as opposed to brown gunge this morning but now that's stopped...I just wish it'd hurry up and get going! Do any of you have the weird old stuff before any fresh bleeding? Its been like that for at least as long as we've been ttc, I'm not sure about before that because I didn't really pay attention . I still intend to go to the gp in the morning and think I'll mention it then.

Hello all - digi I found the acupuncture really relaxing and it did improve my cycle - fx you find it helpful too.

mouse glad things seem to be returning to normal, hope af arrives when she should so you can feel like things are moving on and get back to ttc-ing if you're ready.

Big to mummya - how's the birth plan coming along?

battery I hope your first day back to work is going ok. Take it easy if you can x

yrmotb glad you had a good weekend and the babysitting wasn't too scary! .

Big (((hug))) for ladybee I hope you're doing ok. I've never lived outside uk so can only imagine that it would take some settling in; I remember very clearly how lonely I was when I first moved to the south west and I was only ever a couple of hours away from friends/family. It is hard but it does get better (I love it here now), just don't put any pressure on yourself to feel at home straight away - these things take time!

Thanks for feedback re ds's arm, it seems a bit better, just a whopping bruise I think (phew!). It's fab weather here, went to see dd's gymnastics show yesterday which was sooooo sweet, and have spent the morning cheering both on at school sports day. Now heading over to see Take That so would be perfect if it wasn't for boss continually sending me arsey emails despite knowing full well I've got today and tomorrow off . Cannot wait to be able to go on maternity leave!

Hi All,

Yes, thanks for asking I am feeling better about things, I think because I have been concentrating on keeping really busy and have organised lots of stuff that I had been putting off for ages. Feels good to tick things off the list.

Also baby Max is kicking and wriggling all the time and it has taken so much worry away, its really different now that there is constant proof that he is alive. I no longer qualify thoughts and sentences with "if this baby arrives" and am not anxiously checking the date of when the next doctors appointment is or scan needed.

After lots of agonising, I have made a big decision about the birth too. I am going to have a cesarian. Reasons are:

• not allowed a home birth, and everything very doctor led so natural birth is likely to be very intervention heavy anyway. (no midwives only obstetricians)

-not enough support network to manage VB if I go into labour unexpectedly in the night or there are complications. -more chance that doctor will manage pph (I'm high risk) if birth is organised ahead of time.

Its debatable whether cesarian will help or aggravate future Ashermans, but without an AS specialist in the country, I would just have to take my chances, whether VB or CS.

I am quite scared about CS recovery, but MN is a godsend info wise, so I am getting used to what to expect. Now i just need to find a doctor, should be easy because the CS rate in private hospitals here is 80%!

sorry for no personals, big hug for everyone xxx

mummya I had a good recovery post section. I was up and about the next day as soon as the anaesthetic had worn off, I was home 48 hours later. I found pushing the pram a bit difficult for a few weeks but I was going on short walks within a week and looking after dd on my own 3 days after it (dh had only just started a new job so no paternity leave ). The worst part for me was not being allowed to drive for 6 weeks but next time (if I get there) I'll go to the gp after a few weeks and get certified well to please my car insurance. I will definitely go for an elective section next time.

Tina thanks, wow, that makes it all sound very do-able. I hope mine goes as smoothly. I am planning on sending DS to H's for two days (he has two days paternity leave) and will have the cleaner in the house from 8am to 5pm, (she can cook and shop) and I have a couple of friends who will stop by for visits too. I am going to find out how much it would cost to have an extra night in the hospital too - if its affordable I might do that. (bizarrely, a CS only costs a tiny bit more than a VB here!)

We've got no family nearby so had to do it all ourselves really and it was fine, it's great you've got a cleaner because you aren't allowed to Hoover for 6 weeks, which for me was a definate plus . I was sent home on volterol and co codamol but I've still got half the volterol left and the co codamol made me constipated (tmi ) so I barely used that either. Having my wisdom teeth out and labouring was much much worse than my post section pain. The morphine I had in theatre made me itch horrifically but I honestly didn't feel a thing until the next day.

Hello all,
Sorry been AWOL again but been thinking of you all a lot. Updating on my phone so sorry if it's a bit out of touch as I can't back to check I've got it all right

battery. How was today? Moving house sounds exciting, good project and all that. Sounds like you made a decision re: TTC - well done

mummyA I also had an ELCS & it was as straightforward as tina's so I'm sure you'll be fine. Getting up the next day was the hardest but once you've done that you realise it really isn't bad at all.

dachs thinking of you on holiday. Tears help a lot. ((squeeze for you))

AandR yippee on the all clear test

izzy sorry to hear about DS arm, but glad it's not a fracture.

Bee loneliness is horrible but your DH sounds lovely. Thinking of you

Tina sorry this is not your month

Waves to everyone else, I know I've missed lots of people but DH giving me evils as I should be sleeping - got our dating/nuchal scan tomorrow

Will update again & catch up with everyone else

Hello all, just popping in to say hello, hope you're all doing ok. Sorry I've been AWOL, not been on here for ages and have been very slack in keeping up with news. Work's been busy so I've not had a huge amount of time.

Glad to see the old faces still about, will try and have a catch up now. Have a good day all x

Just saw your news freezing, good luck for today lovely xxx

Good luck freezing. You will be fine. Let us know how you get on.

Good luck freezing x

I'm back from the gp. She was lovely, said the pre af gunk is normal and she's given me a form for day 21 bloods (that I can't do till day 22 as it's a Sunday ) and they'll also check my Hb and thyroid function. She gave me a pot for dh to get busy with too . She said that that's all we can get on the NHS though because we've already got dd and that because I've had a pregnancy this year we haven't actually been trying for over a year . I was a bit to see clinical information as 'sub fertility' on the form. And I'm dosed up on prescription painkillers for period pain . Not a great day really! Hope you are all doing better than me today.

Well, it's a start MissTina and hopefully it will give you some reassurance that all is well on the conceiving front or if it shows up anything then you can work out some next steps to deal with it.
Try not to worry about the 'subfertility' label - she has to write something, it's just filling a box, not a prediction/diagnosis.

mummyA I had a c-section with DS and my recovery was equally straightforward. I did find my stomach muscles were weaker for a while which made my back a bit vulnerable, so I definitely recommend a cot-top changer or something similar so you're not needing to get up and down off the floor too much - quite tricky with injured abdominal wall!

DS had his first session at his new daycare today - it's practically ALL boys - only one girl there today! very odd. But he enjoyed himself and is fine about going back tomorrow, which is a good sign. My cold is turning into a terrible sore throat - I think I'm going to have to get to the doctor if it doesn't clear as it's waking me at night it's so sore.

Sorry it's a short one - freezing I hope it all goes well.

Hello again

All good on the scan , twas a bit emotional to see a heartbeat and a little one who wouldn't keep still. No wonder I've been so tired

Tina sorry that it's not been such a good day, but as Ladybee says, it is a start and very good that your GP is taking as much action as she can at this stage, it makes all the difference to have a sympathetic GP who actually cares. And of course, we're here for you too. And LadyBee and MummyA are particularly brilliant at providing lots of useful, reassuring, and sound advice (not meant to discount anyone else's valuable advice too) I can provide a hand to hold and some tasty offerings

Izzy how was Take That? I've heard it's a brilliant show.
You've probably got a sore throat from all the sports day/karaoke style shouting all day and night!

LadyBee taking of sore throats, hope you get better soon. Very glad to hear DS enjoyed his first day of daycare, you must be relieved it's started well. Boo hoo to AF starting.

YRMOTB Your weekend sounds lovely. Where do you get the energy from? Hope I've got this right, but do you go the gym? I keep getting confused about who does what these days. Do you think it makes a big difference? I keep wanting to start some regular, gentle exercise for lots of reasons but I keep finding excuses not to mostly because really I'm rather lazy

Mouse good luck with TTC, have fun

Same to you too Tomboy, totally agree with you, don't tell the drs unless you need to.

BBB waves to you, how is it all going?

And waves to Battery, Digi, Collie, Blackkat, AandR, Loup, falcon, Jolls, MummyA, Dachs, Knitter, Stitch, Wiggle, Velcut and any other lurkers