Freak out room for those newly updiffed after mc - Part VI

[CollieandPup]

Just found out you are pregnant after a previous miscarriage and too nervous to move over the to pregnancy boards? Freaking out about spotting, cramping, symptoms (or lack there of) and nervously awaiting your first scan? Here is a lovely place for lot's of support, hand holding and problem sharing.

Courtesy of owlbooty here are the Ten Commandments of the Freak Out Room.

1. Thou shalt check thy knickers to the point of insanity until the baby actually arrives.
2. Thou shalt also check the loo roll post-wipeage (sorry, gross, I know)
3. Thou shalt bore thy physician and midwife to tears with the mentalling.
4. And thy husband/boyfriend/family/neighbour's cat.
5. Thou shalt obsess over the absence of symptoms.
6. And the presence of symptoms.
7. And the fluctuation of symptoms.
8. Thou shalt pee on a vast number of sticks and keep ClearBlue and First Response in business.
9. The day before any scan extreme mentalling is permitted without recourse to the Haddock.

10. Self-diagnosis with Dr Google is Forbidden.

The Haddock will be applied liberally to all transgressors.

See here for the old thread.

Hello All.. A quick check-in cos I missed you (and DH is driving me mad by watching Home Alone on TV - how old are we??)

Great scan news all and hope any bleeding / spotting has subsided for others. Big hugs to all of you.

Collie - you're five days ahead of me, but I am also HUGE. I have too suddenly popped out and I look properly pregnant. Had a bit of a shop with DH yesterday buying new clothes as little fits. Maxi dresses for summer, maternity leggings, jeggings and some maternity vests (cheap jobs from H&M - maternity wear everywhere else seems to be virtually non existent, shockingly awful or unnecessarily expensive - can't justify paying out for clothes that I will only wear for a few months, especially as a) I am still worried sick something will happen and b) we are pg over two distinct seasons). I look so pg that my friend told me that it's just as well that I told work when I did as there's no way I could hide it now. This might sound odd but I love looking pg. I think I will love my bump and I like wearing feminine things that show it off (ignore the leggings and jeggings obviously there - am referring more to maxi dresses!) I am slightly concerned as to how big I will become... I am eating exactly the same quantities as previously although I have to admit I have been ultra lazy on the exercise front and need to start something pronto.. I am still so knackered all the time (I know fatigue breeds fatigue). Can't wait for kicks.

Sunday 29th May

Tiggersreturn (TTT) 22+5 EDD 26/09/11
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 22+1 EDD 01/10/11
Lovemysleep 20+5 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 19+0 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 18+5 EDD 23/10/11 next scan 3/6/11
CEP 17+1 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 16+4 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 16+3 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 16+1 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 15+5 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 15+3 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 15+3 EDD 17/11/11
Collie 15+0 EDD 20/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 14+3 EDD 24/11/11 next scan 8/6/11
Banana87: 14+3 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 14+2 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 13+6 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 12+6 EDD 5/12/11
Jigglebum 12+3 EDD 8/12/11
Lucky 10+6
Dooscooby 10+3 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 9/6/11
Harassed 9+6 EDD 26/12/11
Hadrian 9+3 Next scan - 13/06/11
Updiffed 8+1 Next scan - 8/06/11
Hairylights 6+6
Lily06 6+2 Next scan - 02/06/11
Pigletmania 6+0
Laylasmummy09 6+0

On the grads thread too:
Nickster 30+1 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 26+1 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 25+1 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 24+3 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 23+0 EDD 25/09/11
mamapower 22+4 EDD 28/9/11
Emoo 21+3 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 18+6 EDD 24/10/11 Next Scan 07/06/11
Velvetcu 18+5 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 17+2 EDD 4/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

Lara I have one of the badges and they're great. Not only does it signal to people that you're pg and not fat but they also know that if they offer you a seat you will smile at them and thank them instead of going all huffy and saying you don't need one. Also the best part is that often other people ask for a seat on my behalf if no one offers which does make it easier. Saying which I refused to wear it in my local area and only put it on when I got to the station as I didn't want people knowing and it still feels a bit like I'm putting private info on public display but now the bump is getting much bigger I'm a bit less concerned.

My clothes come from next, h&m, jojomamanbebe and friends. It is only a short time but you still need clothes. Also consider buying things one size bigger than your old size if you fit those as you may not be returning to that size immediately....

Does someone want to move me to the grads part of the list now? I think I'm finally ready.

Looks like the cremation will be on Thursday morning. Have spent the weekend working out what we want in terms of readings and music. Choosing music for the funeral of your babies is hard :(

Dachs I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I think Amazing Grace sums you all up. x

p.s. I don't mean the words especially - I mean the title.. x

Oh Dachs I can't possibly imagine how that feels :( I'm Not trying to make you go anywhere else, and But Have you gone onto the Sands website? I have a very good friend who very sadly recommends the forum on there for support, I know it really really helped her with lots of things, the funeral planning being the first of many difficult things get through. Still thinking of you and your babies lots here..

The bleeding has stopped here, thankfully. I am now exhusted and sick as dog. But thats good right?! bleugh...

Will be thinking of you on Thursday dachs and I'll do as some of the other ladies did last weekend and light two candles for your beautiful babies x

Dachs whatever you choose I'm sure it will be a lovely tribute to your beautiful little ones. I'll be thinking of you.

Updiffed glad the bleeding has stopped. Exhausted and sick is par for the course and therefore perhaps a good sign.

I saw the midwife today. I'm measuring ok, bean is growing and we heard a few kicks and a heartbeat so things are on target. DS was with me and he was so sweet, he thought it was funny hearing the doppler noises, he seems to be happy about the baby now. Anomaly scan on Friday, will find out the sex if the baby is in the right place.

Hello all - fab news for all the good scans

dachs it is unbelievably hard to think about arranging your babirs' funeral, it's one of those things you should just never have to do . I found the hospital chaplains were absolutely brilliant in terms of helping with readings etc, if you're struggling to find something appropriate (although realistically I don't think there's anything that can really convey how you're feeling). Ours was only a very short service, obviously different circumstances and we weren't as far along as you, I do remember they played a choral version of Tears in Heaven which was lovely, if very sad. Anyway I hope you manage to find something that's right for you and I'll be thinking of you all on Thursday xx

oh dachs I cannot find any words to say, big hugs to your and your dh (((((((())))))

Big hugs too to oliesmum and anyone on here that I have missed out who is not having a good time at the moment, thinking of you all

Been busy this past few days, horrible sickness and very tired and off a lot of food including my fav Chineese food and MacDs, but its all good as I had none of that w* ith the last two MC. A lot of knicker checking has been taking place but no bad news which is good.

hairy how are things going, hope little bean is sticking there for the full 9 months till birth

just to say morning to everyone - hope everyone had a good weekend and no mentalling today.. x

Tuesday 31st May

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 22+3 EDD 01/10/11
Lovemysleep 21+0 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 19+2 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 19+0 EDD 23/10/11 next scan 3/6/11
CEP 17+3 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 16+6 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 16+5 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 16+3 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 16+0 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 15+5 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 15+5 EDD 17/11/11
Collie 15+2 EDD 20/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 14+5 EDD 24/11/11 next scan 8/6/11
Banana87: 14+5 EDD 24/11/11
LaraMi 14+4 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 14+1 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 13+1 EDD 5/12/11
Jigglebum 12+5 EDD 8/12/11
Lucky 11+1
Dooscooby 10+5 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 9/6/11
Harassed 10+1 EDD 26/12/11
Hadrian 9+5 Next scan - 13/06/11
Updiffed 8+3 Next scan - 8/06/11
Hairylights 7+1
Lily06 6+4 Next scan - 02/06/11
Pigletmania 6+2
Laylasmummy09 6+2

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 30+3 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 26+3 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 25+3 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 24+5 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 23+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 23+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 22+6 EDD 28/9/11
Emoo 21+5 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 19+1 EDD 24/10/11 Next Scan 07/06/11
Velvetcu 19+0 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 17+4 EDD 4/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

Morning everyone - hope you're all well.

Not too much mentalling from me this weekend, more just thoughts about lots of unimportant things that some of you might be able to help me with?!

Once I reached 10+2 late last week, my sickness seemed to miracolously disappear, I could actually stomach a meal and cup of tea and I seemed to 'get my personality back'. I know that symptoms can go at this stage - but I always feel better hearing it from you lot rather than the average pg woman! Anyone else feel like this around 10 weeks? I'm not complaining, it's a whole lot nicer than feeling grotty, but there's always that nagging doubt in your mind...

Have any of you flown long haul whilst pg? I've got a 13 hr flight to get through at 12.5 weeks and I'm nervous that something will happen on the plane. The Consultant told me to go and just make sure I'm taking my aspiring, moving a lot, drinking water and wearing dvt socks, but still...what if I flippin start bleeding on the plane???

How much did some of you show by 15 weeks? I'm a bridesmaid in a month and although the dress fits now I'm nervous it won't in another month. This weekend I finally ordered a bigger size, although it's been hard finding it and getting it shipped internationally without bothering the bride! I haven't been ready to do it up to now as I was afraid that I'd jinx things and have 2 dresses too big for me. I am possibly the worst bridesmaid there ever was- I've been pregnant at least 3 times since I was asked to be a bm less than a year ago!!

Anyway, feel free to ignore all of this brain dump!

Hi Doo

We are fretting about the same things this AM.

I am flying to Dubai at the end of the month for a one week holiday. Not exactly long-haul but it's an indirect flight so about 9 hours in total. I am quite nervous. a) because of the length of the flights, b) because of the heat at the other end and c) in case something happens while I am away. I'd say to relax, listen to your consultant and try and enjoy wherever you're going. (I am going to try and listen to my own words of advice). It will probs be the last proper holiday before Bean arrives (hopes and prays Bean WILL arrive) and so I need to force myself to enjoy it.

Doo - I am almost 15 weeks and already showing bigtime. To anyone I don't know, I absolutely look pregnant (which makes me more scared in case something happens). You did the right thing in ordering a larger side. As much as we're scared, we can't sit and wait for bad things to happen...

On the topic of bump size, are cep, irene or mummya around this morning. I have really weird muscle stretching pains at the top left and right of my bump and haven't been able to eat dinner for about a week! I think bump must be having a growth spurt but I'm mainlining Gaviscon already - I'm sure I wasn't drinking it out of the bottle til much later on in my first pregnancy!

I'm off on holiday too on thursday - just to Italy, but instead of worrying about the flight length (obviously) I am worry about cucumbers (obviously!) and what the blinking heck I can and can't eat. I read somewhere that I should probably avoid salad.. so with salad, cheese, parma ham, pate and shellfish out I'm going to have to eat pasta all holiday by the sounds of it. Sounds perfect for indigestion!!!

doo re your symptoms - as you know, symptoms are going to start easing off, although weirdly about twice a week I feel really sick for about 20 minutes for no particular reason!

any scanners this week? x

Oh gosh, that cucumber story really freaked me out too katherine - I mean cucumbers, who would have thought they could be so dodgy?! Some of the cheese should be ok? Veggie pizzas (or meat if you're not veggie and it looks like a clean place?! It's such a minefield isn't it - and one of the best parts of being away is normally the food...arrggh!

Hi larami - thanks for your thoughts and you're right about not sitting back and waiting for bad things to happen. I think that's why I feel like I need to travel to this family wedding - if I just stay at home alone then I'll really miss DH and 2 weeks will pass really slowly. I think if something happened then I'd rather be with him abroad than here without him. I have wondered about looking up the local clinics etc. though, just in case - is that well prepared or morbid overkill?!

katherine I think mummya was around on one of the other forums yesterday. Haven't seen a post from the others in a while I don't think.

I'm freaked out by the cucumbers story, I've been bad this pregnancy, not always washing packet salad and strawberries etc. Have eaten lots of cucumber. All ok so far though. Will be more careful in future.

Katherine2008 I'm sure you can eat cheese, if it isn't soft unpasteurised cheese. Where in Italy are you going? . We usually go every year but have been super skint lately due to moving house so no holidays for us.

I've not had much stretchy bump pain yet although it is getting quite big. I find the skin itches when it stretches, must get some cream or oil. I am also on the Gaviscon though.

Doo - try to view the holiday as two weeks of your pg that will fly! By the time you come back, you'll be one whole twentieth further into your pg!!!!

Food in Italy wih be YUM, Katherine - I think we all need to take a deep breath and remember that women all over the world (including Italy, Dubai and Doo's hol destination!) give birth to healthy babies every day.

I too have random pg symptom appearances - yesterday was horrendous indigestion all day (hadn't eaten anything untoward) and I was so ravenous all day that my stomach was hurting! Today I have a stretchy feeling in my tum. I guess 24 hours is a long time in the life of a bean!

Just updating again. My consultant changed my EDD to my LMP because there is less than 5 days difference between scan measurements and LMP and apparently if there is less than 5 then they go with LMP. Hmmmm.

Tuesday 31st May

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts 22+3 EDD 01/10/11
Lovemysleep 21+0 EDD 11/10/11
Tunnocksteacake 19+2 EDD 24/10/11
IreneHeron 19+0 EDD 23/10/11 next scan 3/6/11
CEP 17+3 EDD 5/11/11 - 20 wk scan 22/6/11
Hils74 16+6 EDD 8/11/11
Katherine2008 16+5 EDD 10/11/11 next scan 23/6/11
Haffertee 16+3 EDD 14/11/11
Ninunina: 16+0 EDD 15/11/11
delilahbelle 15+5 EDD 22/11/11
Mattsmama 15+5 EDD 17/11/11
Collie 15+2 EDD 20/11/11
Banana87 15+0 EDD 22/11/11
wombatinwaiting: 14+5 EDD 24/11/11 next scan 8/6/11
LaraMi 14+4 EDD 25/11/11 Next scan 20/07/11
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy 14+1 EDD 26/11/11
Blackkat 13+1 EDD 5/12/11
Jigglebum 12+5 EDD 8/12/11
Lucky 11+1
Dooscooby 10+5 EDD 22/12/11 next scan 9/6/11
Harassed 10+1 EDD 26/12/11
Hadrian 9+5 Next scan - 13/06/11
Updiffed 8+3 Next scan - 8/06/11
Hairylights 7+1
Lily06 6+4 Next scan - 02/06/11
Pigletmania 6+2
Laylasmummy09 6+2

On the grads thread too:

Nickster 30+3 EDD 7/8/11
Orange 26+3 EDD 4/9/11
Wombat33 25+3 EDD 10/09/11
Daisybell 24+5 EDD 14/09/11
Pinkfondantfancy 23+2 EDD 25/09/11
Tiggersreturn (TTT) 23+0 EDD 26/09/11
mamapower 22+6 EDD 28/9/11
Emoo 21+5 EDD 7/10/11
Onions 19+1 EDD 24/10/11 Next Scan 07/06/11
Velvetcu 19+0 EDD 25/10/11 next scan 22/06/11
MummyAbroad 17+4 EDD 4/11/11

In our thoughts and prayers
Dachs whose beautiful little babies Alexander & Felicia left this world sleeping

Thinking of.... ladybee; digi; A&R; barbie; MumTum; Knitter, Kat2504

Sorry I'm being me, me today but I feel all over the place to be honest. I haven't dont any work at all today...I NEED HADDOCKING RIGHT NOW!!!

Yesterday I went to see one of my best friends new baby. She got pg the week after my first m/c and although I struggled with her pg in the early days I really enjoyed meeting the baby and seeing her and her husb so happy. I sat with the baby for a good hour and she was so warm and adorable and I couldn't help but wonder if we'd be there in just over 6 months time. Anyway, then another mutual friend turned up who is also heavily pg and I found it really hard. They were all talking about breast feeding videos and everything baby related. They all know about my m/cs but not that I am pg again. Another mutual friend also had their baby a month ago. I've managed to keep in touch with them all but can only really cope with seeing them individually and I just wasn't prepared for the new baby and expectant parents all together.

For some reason, when I see them all I feel like I'm not pregnant, that I've imagined it and it won't work out.

Anyway, then I saw the m/c counsellor today and although the session went well I came away worrying about one thing, the fact that she always makes a point of saying we don't know which way my pregancy is going to go yet and that it's very early days. I know it's true and I know that she's not saying anything wrong, but it kind of makes me think she knows something I don't. I'm used to being the one saying 'it might not work out' and it's weird hearing it from someone else.

Then I stupidly spent the last 30 mins on the miscarriage forums reading how horrible life can be, sobbing at peoples stories and wondering why the hell there seems to be so many losses after 12 weeks, as well as the earlier ones.

Sorry for being a complete nightmare, I promise I will go and try to do some work now....

Morning ladies

Awh Doos I can totally understand how you can have too much baby/advanced pregnancy around you in one go. I have to say I think its a little inconsiderate of them all to be talking about so much baby stuff when they know about your MC. I def don't think you need to worry about your counsellor knowing something funny though. I think its probably her job to try and manage every patient's expectations when they have been through a MC and she is trying to protect you as much as possible should, god forbid, anything go wrong. BUT, there is no reason why it should for you and I bet she adopts the same policy with all of her patients. Don't apologies for expressing how you feel. I am sure it makes lots of other mummy's to be who are going through the same thing feel better to know they are not alone.

I, however, am a total hypocrite as I am completely freaking out. I have a scan tomorrow morning to see if there is really a baby there. Last one was 5 weeks and there was just an empty sac which I was told is normal. I am so scared it will still be empty tomorrow. Or, I will see a baby and then something will go wrong. FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!!!

Hi to everyone else. Hope you all had good weekends. Haven't had a chance to read all of the posts so will have a proper catchup later

xxxxx

Stop it - get out of the MC forums now! The reason why there seem to be "so many losses after 12 weeks" is because you're reading the MC forum. What do you expect to find there? People talking about how smoothly their PGs have gone?! Sorry - don't mean to sound patronising, but I want you to stop! We have all been there (I too take a sneaky peek there sometimes) but it is not going to do anything at all for your sense of wellbeing!

As for the counsellor, she is just erring on the side of caution - she absolutely knows nothing that you don't know (did I get my negatives the right way round?! If not, you know what I mean!) We had a mantra on this thread - something about the odds being massively stacked in your favour... If you can look back then you will find it - it really reassured me during my earlier freakouts. Now my freakouts still happen very often, moreover because everyone knows I'm pg now and so it feels like it would be horrendously awful if it all didn't work out....

As you can tell, my work levels are also minimal today. I just can't concentrate either.

larami thanks so much for the slap - I seriously need it and it made me laugh. I've no idea what I expected to gain in the m/c forum - I think spending time with people in RL who don't understand how vulnerable and painful ttc and pregancy can be for others always seems to send me spiralling into negativity.

bump I agree my friends were insensitive and that's why I generally try to avoid group get togethers in a polite way, I've tried everything else and it doesn't work for me. Right, over to your scan which you're of course allowed to freak out about as it's in the forum rules of 24 hrs beforehand! How far are you now? I'll go and look up that mantra for both of us....in the meantime sending you a big empathic hug and hoping that by this time tomorrow you'll feel on cloud nine after seeing bub just fine x