isn't it annoying?

[Bexamundo]

There's only one question on my mind: Am I pregnant? Did it happen this time? But no-one can tell me! Am only 5dpo so def no way of telling. Sitting symptom spotting and troughing down mini eggs thinking, could be pg/likely to be pms. Not even like I expect anyone to be able to give any advice or look into crystal balls...just wanted to say on here, I find it quite annoying. Roll on next week...

Home now :( got half my new kitchen in.
Hoping for a bit of swi tonight, think the time is almost at hand!!
I def get ewcm but that doesn't always coincide with temp spikes. One blood test did indicate ovulation so holding firm to idea it happened at least once in 3 months.
Your dp going away must be so.frustrating! Shag him senseless in.the meantime!
dizzy how are you doing?

Hi girls, sorry I've been away. Since AH arrived and it was confirmed I was definitely not pregnant the reality of things that have happened in my life crept back in, I guess focusing on the possibility of pregnancy was a good distraction and a way of avoiding things. I've been a bit depressed lately, and re-evaluating a lot of things, still no answers though. But enough of the depressing stuff..

DH is away on holiday at the mo, he'll be back Sunday. Don't think I've ovulated yet, maybe he'll be back at just the right time? Need to temp, but keep forgetting to when I wake up

A bit off topic but saw a 3d film for the first time at a cinema last night, quite enjoyed it. Have you seen a 3d film before?

I saw a 3D screening of Toy Story 3. Quite interesting, but not so much of a fantastic experience that now I only want to watch thing in 3D, iykwim.

Dizzy, I'm really sorry that things aren't going well for you in some areas at the moment. Have you been talking to anyone about the depression? I know what you mean about ttc and possible bfps being a distraction from every day. Once your period starts, it's like everything else flows back in to your head.

I've not been to cinema in yonks! Never seen a 3d film. Planning to see new Pirates with Dh when it comes out though.
I actually got a referral to counselling I'm January. No bfp after a year along with Dh struggling meant I was losing it esp during pms. Counselling had helped ne deal with anxiety. Am able to.discuss issues with Dh more calmly now rather than getting quiet then shouting at him!
I've had a course of antidepressants 3 times in the past but this time only really felt I needed the counselling. However my mate is a Gp she said if you do want happy pills sertraline is meant to be sage when.ttc/pregnant. Might be worth seeking some help before you get too low dizzy. Hope you feel better soon.
I had a cold brewing all week, it's now out in force. No voice at all! Good job we had swi last night, prob go for alternative method tonight ;)

DP just left. Sigh. Roll on next Friday, and in the meantime I will just have to think non-ovulatory thoughts.

You both sound in the wars (physically and emotionally). And I agree with Bex, Dizzy, that it's definitely worth talking to the doctor before you get too low. Otherwise it's so much harder to see that you need to go and to get yourself there.

Urgh I'm in a horrid mood!! I went do tesco to do my weekly shop and Exposure therapy. As part of my counselling I realised I get panicked in big, crowded places so I have to build up exposure to the things that get me scared (namely supermarkets) building up in size and business. So this was busy time in familiar Tesco. It was AWFUL. I felt quite panicky but it was so busy and noisy it was so hard to concentrate. Struggled for 10 minutes to decide what bathroom cleaner to buy! I survived it though and stayed my counsellor recomended 45 minutes :)
In the meantime, I talked to my Dad. He's having a birthday party on a train tomorrow. It's about 150 miles away :s and I talked to him today, he hasn't thought to tell them I don't eat wheat even though it's been the case for 2 1/2 years! So I'm going to have to take my own sarnies to his buffet! Great! He's such an idiot somewtimes. After a week on holiday with him my tolerance of him is low!!
On a happier note, DH has lived up to his promise again today ;) so that's bd on cd 5,7,10,11 so far!! expecting ov on cd13 so feeling optimistic we'll have done pretty much all we can!!
I am thinking ovulatory thoughts in the opposite way to your none Griselda!!

Well done with the Tesco, and even more so with the sex. I really envy you your meaningful cycle days! I just have to keep doing it till my period inevitably comes! Do you feel better for having got through Tesco??

Well the cycle days aren't guaranteed, my cycle varies from 26-28 days and since I started charting only seen one definite peak. Will be gutted if we've had all this swi to find I didn't ovulate at all!
I do feel proud of myself for doing Tesco in the same week as doing Striding edge! Facing.my fears head on!
Feel better generally now we've eaten and I've had a cider :)
What you up to while dp is away?

Not much. Trying to declutter before going back to work. It's hard to make myself stick to that when it's sunny though! Still, I've taken a bag of clothes to the charity shop, and sorted out a ton of papers, so that's something. Am moping about DP's absence as well, and quietly obsessing over potential CM changes in his absence. What if he misses re crucial moment and ruins our chance for an ironic BFP!

What have you been up to today?

Very randomly totally unusual Sunday, were celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday. He hired the posh carriage at the end of a train on the Severn valley railway with a buffet lunch for our close family. It was nice and Dnephew was adorable saying "toot toot" on a regular basis!
Lots of travelling 2.5 hours each way so we're all shattered especially since we only got back from.the Lakes on Friday. Chilling out at home now. Dh vvv happy (he is man u fan).

Hahaha. DP is a Chelsea fan, and have just had a v grumpy text from him about it!

Shocking really. Used to hate man u (I'm a villa fan) but it's so much nicer at home when they win I know find myself cheering them.on!
Realise I have become obsessed with baby making this cycle. Hoping I'm due to ovulate resulted in me saying:"I want your sperm!". Poor sod. He's clearly not in the mood. Will give him the night off and lure him into bed tomorrow instead!!

Hmm now FF reckons I ovulated cd10 based on.temp today. Which means we had swi cd7, 10, 11 so I'm worried we didn't crack it!!! Thinking I should have pushed him on Thursday too !
Told him we must continue regardless just in case it changes it's mind!
Just gearing up to get myself out of bed and go to work!

Eek! But I'm sure it will change its mind again tomorrow!

Chatted to DP by phone last night and really had to struggle to have a normal conversation and not spend the whole time howling "I want a baby! I want one! Come back from your work trip and have sex with me right now, just in case!".

Yes tis already confused cos now I've started with ewcm! Gone from definite to spotted line. Will lure Dh to bed tonight anyway!
Is dp far any from home?

Yes, in Scotland till Friday (we live in London). So fed up about it. But I haven't seen any actual ewcm myself yet, so hopefully we're not missing anything!

Hmm not like you can surprise him.with a saucy visit then, is it?
Lured Dh to bed but he is stressed so we ended up just talking.

Oh no! Hope he is feeling less stressed now, at any rate (even if you didn't get your shag).

I've gone mad and bought some robitussin, to see what effect it might have on my cm! Am going to start taking it tomorrow, three days before DP gets back.

Ah booo! I spoke to him before he left work, complaining about aching all over.
His depression is so linked to his work, I think whenever he's at work he won't want to have sex. So unless I ovulate on a weekend, no babies!!

Sorry rant over. He tried v hard when he got home to be positive and proactive. No swi though! Think my fertile phase is over anyway. Trying not to carried away this time...

Feeling very cynical tonight. Only dtd 4 times between af and ??ovulation. Didn't do it before, did it on the day and the day after. Suspect that's too late. If I did even ovulate. Consequently am mardy with Dh for only performing 4 times not every other day as promised. Know I am being unreasonable- not easy for him, best he could manage and we were on holiday but still. Words of encouragement please?!

Well that sounds to me exactly like the sort of cycle for an unexpected bfp! You know, the "oh we only did it once that month as I had flu so didn't expect it at all" sort of thing.

Much like your 'just before meeting specialist' ironic bfp. Excellent, I like it! Dizzy what about you?

DP home tomorrow! Am trying robitussin this cycle, starting this morning. Tastes rank, but never mind. I shall see if it has any noticeable effect on my cm at all! How is your DH, Bex? Is he still really stressed?

Dh not too bad tonight. We talked about the elephant in room (his performance issues) so it doesn't linger on for ages. No dtd since though!
Gained 8lb on holiday :s thinking about going to fat club tonight. Feel rubbish. Went back to gym tonight cos cold is on it's way out.