TTC after a Miscarriage - Wishing you all more baby dust than is physically possible to type!!

[Coathanger]

Thats better!!!!

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And thats only a small sample of what I am wishing you!

I wish you all every happiness and great TTC success.

Much love to all of you, you'll always be my friends!

XXXXXX

im with you on the new year and fresh start, i think for me personally this has been one of the worst years ever. things can only get better so they say

yep i agree carly, so true, we've all had such awful years, its about time it all gets better. gonna be really annoyed if next year goes tits up too.

I understand it, I just worry that all this worrying and checking makes us even more stressed and increases it.

I had a mc 2 but that doesnt mean I will be more careful than I was last time cos I believe (finally) that it wasnt my fault and I did do everything carefully I dont drink (normally) I gave up smoking, I ate heathily, even gave up tuna (my fave butty food) just to make sure but still didnt happen so I'm trying to keep a little calmer and a little more relaxed around all things babies including drinking.

Everyone has their own opinions and I wanted tryin to force mine on anyone just wondered why everyone got so het up about it. (even women who havent mc'd before)

Mumxmaswish - I think women worry about it because it can be so damaging to a baby and when you're trying to conceive, you want your baby to be as healthy and well as possible.

I ahve found an article that outlines some info about it, and I know we all have different opinions and of course we're all here to express them, and mine is that its not worth the risk, if you're actively trying then its not worth drinking anything, but obviously for the people who fall pregnant without consciously trying it is unavoidable.

drinking in pregnancy

you're right, you're miscarriage isn't your fault, and is good that you realise that, it was totally out fo any of our hands and we'll never know what caused them. We need to look to the future.

anyway enough!! Drink or don't drink everyone's choice. I actually fancy a nice glass of white sparkly wine now! You fault SH for saying about your bottles of wine

Diddle: Mine was last year. About this time (I think) I try not to remember too much.

hope you're holding up ok mums. keep smiling and think of all the snow we'll be having soon

I didnt actually think about it til you mentioned it to be honest Didds not that I'm saying I wouldnt have. I'm ok tho. I just keep saying... house, baby.... family. Then I'm ok. We just weren't prepared for it then(living in flat, crappy paid job), maybe nature realised that and fixed it. (horrible way to put it I know but it kinda, gently makes it the tinyest bit better)

On the snow front. They reckon it will snow this weekend. How cool"?"?"?

Sorry Mums. I didn't mean to come across all balshy (sp?) but I feel quite strongly about this. You are right though, it is up to the individual. If anyone choses to drink during pregnancy, then fine, as long as that person is aware that by doing so it can increasse the risk of MC, cause defects of all sorts and cause premature birth, which in itself carries risks.

The next time I fall PG, I want to be safe in the knowledge that I have done all I can to stop that happening.

I'm glad you took all the measures when you found out you were PG, and you are absolutely right in saying you were not to blame for losing your baby. But surely, after going through such a horrid experience, you would do everything in yourpower to try and stop it happening again.

Right! no more on the subject! It is closed

No hard feelings Mumswish? Just differing opinions, eh?

Never hard feeling SH. Although just to clear it up. I would never drink as soon as I knew in the first 12 wks at least and then I'd prob just have a glass of wine, once in the whole thing. I'm not a drinker normally anyway. I just don't want to cause myself more worry by checking everything I do/eat/drink. But I definatly won't set out to harm the baby I'm carrying. - Thought I should mention that, as after reading what I wrote orginally it looked as tho I said I was gonna drink, smoke and take drugs in my pg which I would never do. Hence giving up smoking 6 months ago instead of trying to do when I know I'm pg. That was hard

But like you've said SH. Theres no hard feeling, just different opinions. So I agree with the change of subject.

Whats everyone buying their DF/P/H's for xmas? Anything expensive?

Sorry... i know change of subject and that....but I didn;t mean it to sound like I thought you delibarately tried to harm your baby ( Of course you wouldn't !!

And 1 more thing, you do have to watch what you eat, hun. The midwives will be the first to tell you that. No pate, no mould rippen/unpasturised cheeses etc, etc...

SH - I know you didnt imply it but my first msg did, hence correcting it for those who don't know me and come on and read that.

oh I'm ok there, the only thing I liked that I had to give up was tuna. Which was ok. Everyhing else that they said I could deal with. Although quite like my pate now. I knew I shouldnt have started eating that! LOL

What you bought everyone for xmas?

Well, that got us all talking didn't it! Nothing like a good debate (not a mass debate you understand )

Not getting DH anything. We don't buy for each other. We would rather spend it on the kids. We haven't exchanged xmas pressies for years

awwww nothing at all? Not even something from the pound shop? I was out of work last year so everything df got was from pound shop. I think I oly spent about £20 on him. Felt soooo guilty unwrapping all those presents from him and him only having crappy poundshop things.

I'm going abit mad on him this year to make up for it tho.

No nothing! Can't afford to spend om each other. And we have to say nothing at all, coz if we decide to buy a little something, garenteed one of us will go overboard (me!) and spend too much

he he, I remeber my mum & dad making a deal once that they would only spend £50 on each other as they were going on holiday the next month. Dad bought mum a fish tank (complete set-up) cost him £500 and mum bought him season ticket for football on skysports (I dunno) cost her £70 (I think) It was really funny watching them opening their presents

Hmmm, thats why we say no pressies at all!

Kids cost enough anyway

DS1 & 2 are having bikes and DS3 (and I know you'll think he's spoilt but there is good reason fo rthis) is having a dvd/telly combo thing.

The reason for this is that DS3 still won't go to sleep in his bed by himself. He either falls asleep in my arms downstairs or I have to sit with him in his room til he drops off. I have tries all the ways going of getting him to fall asleep but with no joy. So , I figure if he has a nice gentle DVD to watch he might drift off whilst watching it. Besides, I don't know what else to get him

Me and Df are like that. We watch friends videos and fall asleep from that. Cant sleep unless something we've watched loads of times is on, otherwise minds don't stop working overtime.

I'm getting DF - (big long list)

Basketball themed chess set
Film cell Pictures
2 Books
1 CD (Kill Bill Vol 2 Soundtrack)
Mp3 Player (If I can find a cheap enough 1)
Sharpe Boxset (DVD)

And anything I see and decide he has to have

mums they have an mp3 player in asda for under £15!!!
SH good thinking about bikes that what my 2ds are having also my sds (well although we are not married i see him as this) we had planned on just getting the oldest one a bike but decided to get all of them one as it would just cause arguements

Oh there you go then, He can have his Mp3 player now then. Thats all his shopping done then. The best bit is the fact that I've already ordered everything (except Mp3 Player) and am having it all sent to parents house so he cant see it!! HE HE HE

MUMS Thats a great idea i am having to keep all dps pressies in the boot of my car cos i know he would be too tempted to peep lol

why do men do that. my DH is just the same, he used to find his pressies from his mom and dad when he was little and i'm sure he looks for what i've got him every year. have to get them wrapped quick.

Can't say what he's having because he is so nosy he loves reading mumsnet.

SH - don't blame you spending the money on the kids, sounds liek they're gonna have a fab xmas.

I think the reason they do it is cos they have little bets with themselves and they don't want to lose so they check before they bet! lol

I'm going mad on him this year cos I won't be able to next year, if we havent got kids yet then it'll be because the house wasnt ready so we'll still be spending all our money on that. Nexy year he'll be getting poundshop stuff again

cos i dont think men ever grow up especially not mine
its when you put them under the tree xmas eve is the worse cos they cant keep there eyes off them!
Anyway girls im off to do some cleaning b4\he gets home as we still havent spoken since our row last night and if we going to have another row at least do it in a clean house lol

Good luck with DP carly I'm sure it will be fine xxxxxx

thanks SH i think i might need it! right am def off now ill try and get back on later as not in college tonight tutor is off sick speak later if anyones around xx