37 and starting to my myself freak out

[Karbea]

Ok I need someone to tell me straight!

I'm 37, i'll be 38 in Dec, I've never had a baby or fallen pregnant. OH has never made anyone pregnant.

OH and I have been trying alot (we pretty much have s every day for the last three months (i know this isn't a long time). I feel it in my bones that we will have trouble falling pregnant (my mum had me in her 20's and then tried for 8 years before falling for my little brother in her 30s).

I've just been looking at IVF on the NHS website and it says it works for 16% of people over 38 (which I will be if we try that route) - 16%!!!!

Also I always wanted a big family 3 or 4, I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen, but I'd love at least 2...

I sort of feel like i'm living in a dream world and i'm never going to be a mummy. I feel really really emotional tonight, I'm only DPO3 so not hormonal

Here is my chart for the last month and this cycle in case that's helpful

first of all, stop panicking! But I would suggest a couple of things:
first, go to your GP and get some basic bloods done (LH, FSH, day 21 progesterone etc) then you'll know a bit more where you stand.

Second, look into taking some supplements - your luteal phase (the bit between ovulation and your period) is a little on the short side - ideally it would be 12-14 days - B vitamins in particular are very good for regulating this.

Third, clean up your lifestyle (and that includes OH!): Marilyn Glenville's Getting Pregnant Faster is good - and gives information about supplements. You need to stop drinking, cut out sugar and processed foods, cut down on red meat etc etc. It's really tedious, but it does help (and you will lose weight!)

HTH. I hope you get what you want - but at 37 you might have to help things along in a way that you wouldn't at 25 (I know, I've been there!)

Hello,

Will the GP just do those if I ask?

We are both on Vitabiotics Pregnacare his and hers conception, hers has Vit B1, B2, B3, B6 & B12.

I have a pretty clean lifestyle, but OH drinks quite a bit (due to his job - lots of socialising).
Is "Marilyn Glenville's Getting Pregnant Faster" a book? I think I need to get something like that to drum the alcohol issue into OH!

Thank you driving

yes, it's a book. It's very good at putting the information on the line - and you could get him to read the male fertility chapter.

I'm not in the UK, but I think you could stretch a point about how long you've been trying and say it's 6 months, and then they should do them for you. But perhaps others with better info on how GPs handle this will come along in a mo.

Good luck!

Hi - my gp would test me for bloods etc after 12 months (I was 33), she said we needed to have been trying for 3 years before she could refer us any further, so I told her we had been trying for nearly 3 years! She was cool about the referral after that.

Oh and Marilyn Glenville's book is spot on, she has a website too, google her.

Good luck x

Hi,

I'm 40 and ttc no. 4. I've been seeing a kinesiologist and been taking a form of vitamin b6 which is really important for your hormones. I got a bfp 5 weeks after starting to take it, but had a mmc.

Back on it again now!

I'd recommend giving it a go. You don't want normal B6, you want activated B6 so you get the P5P.

I can't tell you the difference it's made to my af's.

Good luck!!

This book?

Will go and have a look at her site.

OH and I are getting married in May at this point we would have been actively trying for 6 months, I will make an appointment then and tell the GP we've been hard at it for 3years.

Thanks girlies - still feel poo, but at least once i've ordered the book I can form a plan.

that's the one! she is known in our house as the Fascist Lady (cos every time you think you'd like something to eat or drink you realise that Marilyn has banned it!), but her plan did (we think) result in our lovely DD (2), born when my DP was 39.

harassedinherpants what is a kinesiologist? If I google activated B6 will I find the right thing? Will it be ok to take that plus the Pregnacare?

What do you think of Toni Weschler's Take Control of Your Fertility? Amazon seem to recommed it?

Driving Really? What sort of stuff is banned? I thought men could father babies into their 80s? I'm feeling like all the problems will end up being mine as i'm old

Not too fascist - not as bossy or patronising as Zita's advice IMO

Nothing is banned, just suggested as a treat, so no different from any other eating plan. Lots of fresh, organic food, fish, dairy all ok. Suggestion that you stay clear of red meat, alcohol and caffeine.

I have to admit that after following it for a bit, we both looked and felt better (skin, hair and lost weight). And we did not follow the plan to the letter e.g. occasionally drinking etc.

So is that the book to get rather than the Weschler one?

Not read Weschler so can't comment, but would expect the advice across the board is fairly similar. Glenville came highly recommended to me from a friend who had followed it and got BFP. HTH

Great will order Glenville now then, thanks Blackkat xx

Can't log in to bl**dy Amazon, have reset my p/w 4 times and it's still failing! obaviously destined not to buy the book or the clearblue ov kit tonight grrr!

'twas a joke

Apparently acupuncture is good. Never tried it but heard a lot of people recommending it.

Ok, i doubt this will be a popular post, but I can't bite my tongue any longer.

I'm really bothered by the number of people who casually suggest lying to your GP, not just on this thread, but several others previously.

Doctors don't take histories and follow guidelines just for the sake of it or to be obstructive, they do it in order to offer the most suitable care for you. If you say you've been trying for three years when it's only been three months, you may get entirely the wrong advice.
Also, what about the people who don't lie? Resources in the NHS (assuming you're in the UK) are finite.
Is it fair if couple don't get the funding, appointment or treatment they've waited for, potentially loosing their chance altogether, just because someone else has lied to jump the queue and get tests and treatment they might not even have needed if they'd waited a bit longer?

Karbea, I know it's frustrating and heart-breaking and every month feels like a lifetime, but three months really really isn't long and doesn't suggest there's a problem. Sperm meets egg is a lot more complicated than it sounds. Of normal, fertile couples having regular sex only about a quarter will get pregnant each cycle.

My advice would be to keep going with lots of sex throughout your cycle and try not too worry too much. See your GP around the six month mark, if you're not pregnant by then, and be truthful. As you're over 35 the GP should have no problem investigating you after six months.

As for all the supplements and alternative therpaies, well, that's your choice, but there's not really and strong scientific evidence for any of them. And most of them aren't cheap; there's a whole industry built around selling hope to women desperate to conceive. My advice would be save your money and spend it on lovely treats for you and your partner, enjoying your time together and doing all the things you won't be able to once you've got a baby.

Karbea, I think you're panicking and you don't need to.

Ignore all this 'if you're over 35 you won't conceive' rubbish. The chances are you will but not if you're not having sex at the right time in your cycle.

I bought the Toni Weschler book and have recommended it to countless friends (all mostly over 35 and all who now have babies). I read it pretty much cover to cover, worked out the signs of ovulation and was pregnant pretty quickly (at 36 and with PCOS!)

Don't panic and I agree with PhoebeC, enjoy your baby-free time, go on lots of weekends away and nights out!

I'm not sure about taking the Pregnacare and the activated B6, but seeing my lady on Monday so will try to remember to ask!

There's some info on kinesiology here . It's something I've used for many years, and it's been great.

If you're looking to buy some yourself, then I'd probably google Vitamin b6 p5p and see what that brings up. I use the Metabolics one, but the dosage on the site says 1 drop per day, whereas my practitioner has prescribed 30 a day for me! I know she takes 1 drop, but her levels are obviously good.

PhoebeC: point taken . This doesn't apply where I live, as you pay for everything, so if you ask your GP to do these tests, they will (I did them, and then DP did them to see if there was any point in engaging what for us is a complex and tricky TTC process - GP had no problem with this).

Thanks PhoebeC. As someone who has been trying for nearly three years, I heartily agree with you. What is the point of getting all those tests done when the high likelihood is that nothing is wrong? Starting down the invasive assisted conception route is no picnic. That funding could go towards helping people who genuinely need it. If you really want to get the tests done before then, why not go privately to put your mind at rest? I really hope you get your much wanted BFP soon.

phoebe I agree with what you've said re queue jumping and having re-read my post can see how it sounds.

So to set the record straight bcs I'm a bit embarrassed now It took me 12 months to get a GP to see me about not having AF for 8 months (they told me over the phone I was pregnant even tho I most definitely wasn't and to stop worrying about it, and at first I was too nervous to push and finally change surgery).
Then another 12 months post monthly blood tests to see a consultant and a further 6 months + investigative surgery to be diagnosed with PCOS, so by the time it came to be referred for fertility treatment we were at the required 3 year mark.

So karbea while I do agree re jumping the queue, I also think it's worth knowing as much about ability to conceive, which some very simple bloods/sample tests would help determine, tests which the GP can sanction easily, and would do as phoebe suggests. This means you can then take control of what decisions you make next.

Also agree with robbiesmum and phoebe about enjoying yourself as much as poss.

But don't think there is any harm and only positive benefits of looking after yourselves e.g by following diet advice in any of the books out there.

Hope this makes sense after my seemingly contradictory post yest.

the only tests I meant were the ones that check that you are ovulating, aren't in peri-menopause and don't have PCOS. I wasn't talking about assisted conception.

As well as getting yourself checked out by your doctor, your DP should also provide a 'sample' as if he has a problem, you can target the supplements he can take.

Personally I would go to the GP and lie a bit and get three simple tests (LH, FSH, day 21 progesterone). They can quickly tell you at a basic level whether you have a problem.

One of my friends had her first baby at 39 after 8 months of trying and is now pregnant with her second. I had my first just short of 42 without IVF despite partner having poor sperm morphology (wrong shape!)! We both cleaned up our lifestyles, he cut down on the number of hot baths and we took supplements. I have no idea whether this helped but it can't have hindered. Keep trying and good luck.