Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

[Curlylox]

woohoo over here

Ah BB sorry to hear your news was quietly getting excited that as we hadn't heard from you....... that old saying "no news is good news". It's disheartening when af arrives and you're back at cd1, but onwards we all go.
Am concerned about horrendous vaccination, please share if you will?

So sorry Beattie that af has arrived especially after a delay. It's such a depressing time and then in a few days time I start to get hopeful again, i don't know of you're the same.

It would help for me if I was speaking to dh civilly. Ah well olive branch out I think!

Shandybass please add your details to the list.

BeattieBow - 40: 5 children - 2 sons (12 and 2) 3 daughters (10,8,6,). Wanted one more to make it up to 6, mmc Feb 10. 3 cps since then, but nothing since Sept.

Curlylox - 43 (44 in May): 1 DS 21, 1 DD 6, ttc since Dec 2009 got a BFP Jan 2010 then mc 10 weeks 6 Feb 2010.

Diege - 40: 3 daughters (9,8,5) 1 son (20 months). Have been trying this time for 10 months (mc at 7 weeks October 2010).

Hippychick - 44: 2 sons aged 7 & 10. Decided to try for a cheeky last baby about aug 09. One MMC in Feb 2010 and 1 MC in June 2010. (8 months since last MC - longest trying time for me).

Hopefulgum - 44 (45 in Nov): 5 DC: ranging 19yrs to 2 years, ttc since May 2010, mmc 10 weeks Dec 2010.

Isaboo - 42 (43 in July): 2 sons 7 & 10 trying to squeeze a last one in from July 2010 one MC at 10 weeks Oct 2010

Italiangreyhound ? 46, waiting for donor eggs. TTC number 2 for 5 and a half years. 1 DD (aged 6) 1 MMC (5 years ago)
Jollster - 43 (a few days ago so still in mourning grin): one DS 2y9m. TTC#2 since June 09, 3 MMC all around 11-13 weeks. Recurrent MC tests all clear, now TTC again, on month 5 (longest I've tried without a BFP).

Lolfactor - 44 (45 in march :-/): 3 teenagers, ttc since Jan 2010 - 3 cps so far.

louisesh - 40: no living children, Georgie stillborn at 41 weeks 10th October 2010. Ttc since January 2008. MMC October 2008, MC September 2009, CP December 2009 and CP December 2011.

OooohShiny - 39 (40 in Oct ) no children (1 MC almost 4 years ago). Decided to start TTC in April 10 when my last DEPO was due and didn't go ahead with it but then had no AF until Jan this year

panashe - 41 2ds 19,12 2dd 15,13 tcc (with new dp) since sept 2010. mc 8 weeks 2011.

TinaO99 - 42: 1 daughter (19) TTC since December 2010, one MC/CP in Sept 10

Sorry about the bfnBeattie. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with your body. We have to ait for that special egg, I suppose. I know it is disheartening to have to keep trying. How long did it take to conceive your other children?

We had no trouble conceiving our first 4.In fact our first and fourth, although wanted weren't exactly planned. If I had O pain, I pretty well knew I could conceive. I got pregnant first try each time.

With Charlie, I was 41 and it took 7 months. It felt like such a long time, but now I realize how lucky I was to have conceived and carried to term. With this last pregnancy it was 6 months trying, but obviously not the golden egg.

I hope you get yours soon.

We had a wonderful time at the wedding. I felt much better and managed to drink about 5 champagnes over the course of the night. I probably shouldn't have.I know it's not good when ttc, but I decided I was just going to enjoy myself. Feeling a bit seedy this morning, but that's mainly due to a late night and early morning.

I'm on another over forties thread on an american site - mothering- and there's also plenty of ups and downs there too. The good news is there are many over 40's getting pregnant and having babies, but it seems at our age there are a few more obstacles - cp's and mc's.

In the end, when we are holding our new borns, it will be worth the struggle, don't you think?

There's a lot of advice on that thread about alternative therapies, and it seems red clover and nettle tea comes up a fair bit. Some herbalists insist red clover is the answer to fertility over 40. However Rowing said she took it last cycle and it screwed things up.Not sure if she drank tea or took sups. Must ask her.

Has anyone else tried it?

I think we might all make it in the end, but it's a matter of time, and whether or not we can hold out for that long, IYKWIM. I think if I just forgot about it, didn't use contraception, then I'd be up-duffed eventually. Just not sure if I want to continue persuing it without an end date...

How do others feel about this? Have you given yourself an "end date" for ttc?

hi all. gum glad you had a good time. I must admit that I haven't stopped drinking really. not that I do it much - so I don't drink at home at all, but when I go out I don't really hold back!

I have cut down on caffeine though, and generally have 1 cup of caffeine coffee. I saw someone on another thread recommend a fertility diet (can't remember the book) has anyone tried that?

Anyway my turn to get up today! (strange how I got up yesterday too because on dh's turn he brought ds2 and dd1 and 2 into our bed )

we have a birthday party for dd3 today at a local soft play place. not my favourite way to spend the w/e.
gum I haven't actually given myself an end date, but i was thinking today that I didn't want to carry on like this for much longer. I didn't really want a big gap between ds2 and the next one, and if things had gone to plan, it would have been 2.4y. As it is now, it will be nearly 4y.

bad luck with the BFN Beattie it is particularly cruel when it hangs on like that and you start to think about all the stories you read about "not getting my BFP till I was six weeks pregnant" even though deep down inside you know its not going to happen to you .. still its a brand new shiny cycle and you are wretched symptom spotting free for two weeks.

The age gap worried us too ( ours would be at least 8 years if things work out ) and that there will be stuff that will be more difficult to do with the older ones that we really enjoy at the moment ...not to mention giving up the Sunday morning lie in together that we feel like we have only just got back but that all aside it the kids are always asking about another brother and it would be fantastic for us all if I could just get my body to play the game

gum in theory this is my last month I promised DH I wouldn't let this rule my/our lives ....yep I know now that was pretty unrealistic as ttc is getting me more down every month which affects us all.....saying that I think I might have one more go but have promised myself I will make a real effort to relax more ...in fact I liberated myself from the thermometer yesterday and threw the thing in the bin .... and it was great not fiddling around with the bloody thing in the dark this morning! .....

Isaboo hope you find the answers that are right for you. If we are successful this spring with our fertility treatment the age gap will be just over 7 years. It is not at all what I wanted but as DD is our only one we do still really want her to have a sis or a brother if possible. I guess only you know what you feel will work for your family. Sorry Isaboo I know that is not much help but I guess we all need to decode for ourselves what will work. I am coming to the realisation that I may not get another baby and rather than feeling very down about it I am actually feeling quite liberated. I have not stopped trying naturally, although the reality is that it is almost impossible for me to conceive naturally (I think) and we do have one more IVF go with donor eggs to ?look forward to?! Blessings to you.
BB sorry about your BFP. How are things on the schools front?

Muchlove thinking of you.

Louise my dear I am losing the plot, how are you?
Hippy greetings and hugs. How are all your plans going?

Jolls been quiet for a while, how are you?

Alba any news?

Diege all well, I hope?

Gum Hi, how are you? You sound very well at the moment and very posoitive.

Tina, any news?

Panshe how are the plans, picked out your flowers yet?
Lia what are the developments?
Waves and hugs to Tank, Nicole, OooohShiny, Curley, Shandybass and Lol* - Love and baby dust to all.
I am fine. I have not given up hope for a new baby in the next few months (I mean a BFP in the next few months) but if it does not happen by the summer I think we will just have to lay that particular dream down and look into adoption or not as we feel right,

I have edited my local NCT newsletter for the last three years (plus) and I have finally decided to given the committee notice. It is huge step for me. It is a chance to move on. If we get a new baby we will not need to volunteer left right and centre as we have and if no baby then I can move on relatively painlessly. Not sure if that makes sense but it foes to me.

I'm now reading Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You Eat, It's What's Eating You! by Lisa Morrone.

It is really brilliant.

SORRY that should be

...decide for ourselves ... not ...decode for ourselves...

and

Not sure if that makes sense but it does to me.

rather than

Not sure if that makes sense but it foes to me.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gum I know how you feel. Not sure what to do either. Donor eggs is a possibility, but I always said if I got to wanting that, I ought to have a decent plan B in case it didn't work out. And I can't think of a bloody plan B.

And I'm ovulating NOW and haven't been able to dtd cos dp running a bloody half marathon to make sure 'life' doesn't get put on hold. havent had sex since Saturday morning, so assuming that's another egg gone. He's way too tired after running today and I'm working till 10 tomorrow. Would it still be possible?

Like the 'liberated' line, Italian. Sounds like you've got a plan b that appeals. I must admit, the chance to lie in on Sunday should never be undervalued.

Bad luck bb hope the other plans come together. Diege and Lou hope you're feeling really sick (grins). May your boobs be perpetually on fire, D.

Hoping Hippy is happy. Love to all. typing on crumby iPhone as laptop broken, so will go and make tea to help me forget. Anyone else want a cup?

Hi curlylox and all

My details are:
Shandybass - 40, dd4, two mc and then Dd almost 2, ttc since March 10.

Hope that covers it.

Ive sort of got my next birthday Aug as my end date, it feels a bit close now. I'm wondering about going to the doc as I haven't got anywhere i'n almost 12 months ttc, but I'm afraid they won't bother as I'm older and already have dc. What's been others' experiences?

I've not heard of a fertility diet, red clover or anything other than a healthy diet and a salty diet for a boy and sweet for a girl. They all sound a bit unlikely.

Lovely cup of tea and chocolate cake.

Ok shandy have added you to the list. From the list you'll see my stats, I've recently been to the Dr's and in fact she asked me if I wanted to do fertility tests, although didn't mention that following my mc things between DH and I were strained so we weren't ttc. I've had a blood test most results were normal but need to do another one on cd21 as progesterone wasn't tested. Also Dh will be doing a semen analysis too. So I would say go for it.
Lol a mug of hot steaming tea with a slice of lemon drizzle cake please, yum.
Gum haven't tried a fertility diet or any special tea but just recently started taking extra supplements. Good to hear you let your hair down at the wedding.
Italian I too love to read but have to be in the right frame of mind to read the books you have tackled of late. However if you don't mind you could give me a quick summary/review of the latest book you're reading?
Waves and hugs to lou hippy diege bb jolls much alba lia nicole Oooohshiny Isa panashe and anyone else I may have missed.

BeattieBow - 40: 5 children - 2 sons (12 and 2) 3 daughters (10,8,6,). Wanted one more to make it up to 6, mmc Feb 10. 3 cps since then, but nothing since Sept.

Curlylox - 43 (44 in May): 1 DS 21, 1 DD 6, ttc since Dec 2009 got a BFP Jan 2010 then mc 10 weeks 6 Feb 2010.

Diege - 40: 3 daughters (9,8,5) 1 son (20 months). Have been trying this time for 10 months (mc at 7 weeks October 2010).

Hippychick - 44: 2 sons aged 7 & 10. Decided to try for a cheeky last baby about aug 09. One MMC in Feb 2010 and 1 MC in June 2010. (8 months since last MC - longest trying time for me).

Hopefulgum - 44 (45 in Nov): 5 DC: ranging 19yrs to 2 years, ttc since May 2010, mmc 10 weeks Dec 2010.

Isaboo - 42 (43 in July): 2 sons 7 & 10 trying to squeeze a last one in from July 2010 one MC at 10 weeks Oct 2010

Italiangreyhound ? 46, waiting for donor eggs. TTC number 2 for 5 and a half years. 1 DD (aged 6) 1 MMC (5 years ago)
Jollster - 43 (a few days ago so still in mourning grin): one DS 2y9m. TTC#2 since June 09, 3 MMC all around 11-13 weeks. Recurrent MC tests all clear, now TTC again, on month 5 (longest I've tried without a BFP).

Lolfactor - 44 (45 in march :-/): 3 teenagers, ttc since Jan 2010 - 3 cps so far.

louisesh - 40: no living children, Georgie stillborn at 41 weeks 10th October 2010. Ttc since January 2008. MMC October 2008, MC September 2009, CP December 2009 and CP December 2011.

OooohShiny - 39 (40 in Oct ) no children (1 MC almost 4 years ago). Decided to start TTC in April 10 when my last DEPO was due and didn't go ahead with it but then had no AF until Jan this year

panashe - 41 2ds 19,12 2dd 15,13 tcc (with new dp) since sept 2010. mc 8 weeks 2011.

Shandybass - 40, dd4, two mc and then Dd almost 2, ttc since March 10.

TinaO99 - 42: 1 daughter (19) TTC since December 2010, one MC/CP in Sept 10

Hi lolfactor Yes, I would love a cuppa! But no cake, thanks, I am healthy eating and have just had a plate of nuts, seeds and dates! Yum. You said you had not had sex since Saturday, did you mean yesterday or last week! My hubby runs marathons too, if yours is too tired you could say it was a victory celebration for him! Ha ha. Lol I checked the details of you on your page and it says you have three kids and then it says
A child of -1 months old
A child of -1 months old
A child of -1 months old

So I am not sure what child/children you have. From your post I was not sure if you were trying for number 1 or not. Sorry if I am being dense. You mentioned donor eggs and a plan B. I have to say I was very much concerned with my plan B, and what it might be! If donor eggs did not work, would we attempt adoption etc? I now feel that actually the plan is one more go at donor eggs and then if that does not work, we will review the whole thing and whether we adopt or not will be reviewed in the light of the circumstances as they are not after our final attempt. This is TOTALLY new thinking for me as I always like to have it all planned out but I must say that I feel better now with this open approach. If money were no object and DH were totally as keen as me to have another child then I might be willing to go to Spain for another donor egg or donor embryo if this did not work but I do know this is the last attempt really. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that I normally want a plan B but at the moment I am winging it a bit!

Shandy worth going to the doc, if you want to find out more. Don?t be put off if you are older. I3was 39 when DD was born and my doc has even checked my hormones now (at 46!!!) so you should be fine.

Curley the book I am currently reading is Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You Eat, It's What's Eating You! By Lisa Morrone. I ordered it off the Internet just knowing a tiny bit about it. It?s written by a lady who is a Christian (in the USA) and it is quite a spiritual approach, which is working for me. It is really interesting and even since starting reading it yesterday I have started eating a lot more healthily and thinking about what I eat a whole lot more, in a really positive sense. I would say it is only really relevant if you have problems with food. If you are the kind of person who is carrying a pound or two extra or put on a tiny bit of weight after a baby etc it would probably not resonate as much as it does with me who has a real problem stopping eating at times! Anyway, have got another book as well so will critique them both when finished, if you remind me. Thanks for asking.

Love to all.

Hi all

All well here.Clearblue digital says "pregnant 3+" so hcg increasing.Whoop Whoop

Hi Italian hope you re ok?

Curly hi u ok?

Lol sounds like there could be hope .At least you managed 1 swi .I m fine , thanks i don t normally suffer very much from sickness.With Georgie I had about 2 weeks intermittently through out the whole of my pg where i was sickly or being sick ,that was it.My boobs also don t normally feel any different.

Shandymmmm...... Licking my lips at the thought of a shandy!!!! Mind you much better on a hot summers day.Know what you mean about setting an end date....Its soo hard isn t it? Orginally we said at Georgie's birthday [10th October] we would assess the situation if we hadn t got anywhere .Wheter we would or not is a different matter1!!!

Hi Gum hope you re not too down X

Hi Hippy hope you re ok?

BB hope af is over and done with quickly then back to it.

Hi Panashe,Tina,Nicole and Diege hope all are well.

Well, it seems to be the weekend for it!!! Rowing with dh's that is!!!! Mine being really picky looking for a fight all the time.I think its all getting too much for him now.I m trying to persuade him to try counselling.Don t know if its coming to a head as coming up to 6 months since Georgie was born.He s really doing my head in at the moment!!!!

Hello! Just on my way to bed but wanted to pop in and say hello . All fine here, no massive increase of symptoms though felt a bit nauseous this morning. Boobs still sore but that very much comes and goes. Only 4 + 4 - seems like it's been weeks!
Lou excellent news in the digi, you naughty think
Big love to all - so tired I have only skimmed through so will read back and comment properly tomorrow. Night all x

morning all

hope everyone is ok this fine sunny morning (well it's suuny here anyway lol)

Italian no news really to report, I hit a high on the monitor this morning so it's all systems go over the next few days I have a good positive feeling about this month however!

hubby is making his appointment this week to have his little soldiers tested, he's got to make use of their 'sample collection room' hahaha so I think he'll be taking his laptop with him (poor man I don't envy him having to go and do it) hopefully the test won't show up anything bad although I may start worrying about my tubes again then I guess :-(

tina your poor old DH. I know we have to go through all number of test, pregnancies, MC's etc etc but I do think that I would hate to have to go into a room and have a fiddle - still it's all in a good cause

italian the book sounds good. I agree that there is a huge difference between needing to lose a bit of weight due to over indulgence and having actual issues with food. I hope hope hope this is the key for you, my dear. You sound quite chilled about baby no 2 as well. I am the opposite of you (by the sounds of it), I don't like planning ahead at all. I think you are right to just concentrate on the next doner egg try and then look at the situation - hopefully you wont have to re-assess cos you'll be up the duff

lou and diege all good news - keep being preggers you two

lou I agree that your DH probably needs councelling - my DH had it years ago and it was a big help for him, Ant has been through so much and councelling could be a big help for him.

All is chaos here. I am trying to get this darn house ready for the estate agent to come and take the photo's but whilst my back was turned some gypsies have moved in and made it a mess

jolls you're quiet - I hope it's just cos you're busy lovey.

XXX - kisses for all. XXX

lol @ hippy

I know Hippy you re right about Ant needing counselling but you can t tell him!!!! Bloody men!!!!!

Tina My dh had to provide a sample 2 years ago when we were undergoing all the tests.He actually said it was fine just "manned up" and got on with it!!!! The room provided was bare with just a telephone!!! [only to telephone the medical sec to let them know when the room was empty!!!! U couldn t get an outside line to any 0898 numbers!!!!.Thr room was next to a lift , that made a noise,opposite a ward in a hospital.I waited the other side of the lift and remember thinking at the time "I should have bought "war ans peace" he ll be forever!!!" but lo and behold 5 minutes later he was out , job done!!!!!!!!!!!!

He'd die if he knew i d put this on!!!! Oh well

Good luck with the estate agent Hippy X

hahaha louise I kind of thought they'd provide naughty mags and videos to watch!!!

well done on your hubby though, he must have a good imagination ;-P

That'll be the gipsies that have just left our place then hippy - the state they left the place in!
TINA, I also thought they provided 'materials' for the men...he's surely not going to take his laptop in there and watch a film is he? It reminds me of that Peep Show episode where Jez had to rely on the picture of the Queen on a £20 and his imagination to 'get going'in the sample room
I think this week will be make or break pregnancy-wise for me. I would expect to feel sick by now (I know 4 wks + is nothing, but I know my body and how it reacts to healthy pregnancies). So I'm keeping upbeat but also starting to mentally prepare myself if things don't work out (as much as anyone can anyway!).
LOve to all x

diege try to keep positive honey. I know it's hard not to symptom spot and I know you do suffer with sickness but as you say - it is early days. With my most recent pregnancy I tried to be positive but realistic and I didn't plan ahead at all. Stick with it - 1 day at a time. Oh and don't make any decisions like this will be it for me etc. There that's me done being bossy.

lou your hubbie would defo kill you if he knew you'd told us all that I can't believe they don't provide some stimulation . Having said that most men have fancy i-phones now and can access the internet from there.

House is nowhere near ready yet. jolls how did you make selling your house seem so bloody easy??? And where the heck are you, woman???

nicole what's up with your cycle now?

ps. lou did you take a look at the spider babies photo? - they are cute arn't they - yes I've been stalking again

Thanks Hippy. I'm not much of a planner myself, though have visualised ringing the EPU next week if I'm stil pregnant (they told me to ring when I had a BFP but I know that's just to arange an 8 wk scan as they don't generally scan before that time). That's about as far as I can think at the moment! So HIPPY has the estate agent been yet or is the big day tomorrow?

I really hope all goes well for you diege.

Well I hope the estate agent is gonna be able to come this week some time but at the moment all is chaos and any photos taken today would make me the laughing stock of right move!!!!

DH and I just had a crafty SWOI (day 5 here). It was really just a moral boost as we find we bond more and get on with stuff more when were feeling closer (plus I made the mistake of flashing cleavage way way too early in the cycle - silly Hippy ) Anyway, the punchline to this story is this:- The DS's were watching a film in their room so we thought it would be ok but DS2 has just told me that he thinks we will be getting a baby brother or sister now cos he thinks he heard us doing something . Had to deny all knowledge of what he was talking about and also had to explain that even of we were doing what he thought we were doing it would not guarantee us all a baby. (my boys seem to think that you only have to have sex once to make a baby - which is only true if you're a 16 year old girl in a soap opera!)

Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you.