Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

[Curlylox]

woohoo over here

one week tomorrow since ovulation but i haven't had any symptoms yet - af due in around 8 days, am not going to test until it's actually late this time!

I'm convinced that at some point very soon i will have a bfp! (oops nearly wrote bnp then!!!)

meant to put hippy not "hippy"!

Beattie at random men !! I am just the same, everyone appears more attractive and I feel like a dog on heat, must be bodies natural desire to procreate...

Hi! Gum I would also say your prog levels are fine. Think low level are linked moe to chemical pregnancies/early mcs?
Hippy that is a bad night . The sort that makes you appreciate uneventful nights all the more. At least you got the swi out the way though . How is ds now?
BB I'll make sure my dh is locked away f you're ever round these parts mid-cycle . I know what you mean though
Tina, good on you for holding back on testing. I will carry on temping but am steering clear of the sticks. No testing on cd 8 this month, no siree!

BB when you say that you and your DH shredded I always imagine a sci-fi kind of skin removal (Dr Who style)

yes, gum your body caried on with the pregnancy and that doesn't suggest a prog problem at all. Hang in there, my dear.

diege yes I think you should lock up your DH - i think we all should - that BB is a minx

DS has not thrown up since the spectacular show at 2.30am. He is begging to go to the disco but it wouldn't be fair to all the other kids.

sorry what is shredding?????? Does it involve the use of a certain poular brand of breakfast cereal (ooeeerr kinky)

nothing so exciting - it's a fitness dvd! dh wants to get fit so we do it together, but he is too exhausted afterwards for any other activity

Right is the Bistro open or what??

I actually had a big lunch out with a friend (Ginger F0x, BB have you been?), so would just like a Bouillabaisse with some very crusty bread... and then a slice of blackcurrant cheesecake and a generous pour of runny cream.... tvm.

Hope everyone doing ok xx hippy hope littleHipp doing better, poor thing :(

Pyella (how do you spell that??) and for dessert a slab of Cadburies chocolate, please.

Paella . Ok, ok, it's all coming, Jolls cheescake may take a while. I will have a big crunchy chicken burger, nandos style, with piri piri fries, and a large cappucino creme brulee. Fizzy non-alcohol wine and a large M&S whote mountain bar. Mmmmm....

Oh yes, Pyella is the star from A matter of loaf and death - not a Spanish meal!

Morning, hope you all ok. Am afraid this is a bit of a woe is me post

Have got really bad back ache, and tummy ache and feel like provoking arguement with anyone I feel so irritable.

Three and half weeks since mc so guess I am mentally preparing myself that af could come in next week or so. I don't want it to because then thats like the realisation Yep I'm not pregnant. Feel like I have been in limbo since mc, not pregnant not tcc, as not in sync with cycle, and am hoping (stupid I know) that I might have just got pregnant again.

Have had so many dreams about babies and really vivid dream my 3 year old nephew drowned when in my care.

I know its just a bad day and I actually feel better just writing it down. sorry x

oh panashe it's totally normal and to be expected that you feel so low.

I spent much of the month following my last MMC in tears and getting very uptight and short tempered and thought it was all just TOO MUCH TO COPE WITH! Had just moved house too, but the MMC was definitely the trigger :(. So a big squeeze to you today. AF coming is a good thing, to get your body back to readiness for TTC.

Hope everyone else ok. My BFP buddy from last summer had her baby girl this week; so pleased for her that it all went so well (ten days or so early and nice quick labour), but of course I am left with a "what if" feeling, as I don't have a new-born (or in fact a bean of any stage). This is the first due date I've not been pregnant again for. And I've been thinking how different things would be in Jollsterville if I had a one year old, or six month old, or newborn! BUT I do have my gorgeous DS who's been so good, and so much fun this week. So I know I'm very lucky.

x

Panashe its very hard go with your feelings allow yourself to grieve.Trying to look on the positive side of things all the time is so bloody hard I know but my thoughts always come back to

1 what other choice do i have?

2 I will not be beaten.

3 I will achieve what i want/deserve and then look back at this shite and congratulate myself on getting through.

Not lecturing thats just how i deal with stuff.Obviously some days it all goes tits up and like Thursday i cry all day and wish i wasn t here .

Jolls you re a better person than me to have nice thoughts about your friend.As we all know i ve discontinued friendships because i can t stand the fact they,re pg or had their babies.Quite frankly i don t care i m learning to become more selfish to protect myself and if rl friends don t like it its tough!!!!!

I think you re "what if" feelings are totally and utterly natural

Hope everyones ok?

Pub last night couple of cheeky [wines] nice.As my sis said have them now as soon i won t be able to,hopefully.

Then swoi for fun this am XXXXX

Arh...why didn t my [wines] work????

lou, it's cos you are having plurals and not singles!!!

panashe I agree that all your thoughts are totally normal and to be expected, hang in there kid ((()))

lou & jolls give good advise.

Well i've almost followed the SMEP - I think i missed the odd one out but basically I started as soon as Auntie Flo packed her bags and carried on every other day through the positive on an OPK past the ov pains and did one more for luck (phew) this has gotta work - surely Basically there were troops in place at all times and if they miss that egg then they are defo way too dumb to be embryos

Sorry i missed the bistro last night. I've been eating nothing but toast pretty much all week (due to tummy ache) and am just glad to be moving on to real food again. what the heck is Bouillabaisse ??? God, you lot are so much more cultured than little old me. (said in a hick voice) .

Just been reading the preg after MC thread. Liaghen looks like she is nearly ready to go - lots of braxton hicks etc.

For those of you who don't know her. She has 5 kids already (i think) and has had her fair share of MC's inbetween. She was pregnant when I was in december 2009 but like me she lost it. Then last summer she got a not too good FSH level result (23 i think - it's best to be under 10) and she was very unsure about being able to get preg again. BUT - she then popped on and said she'd got a BFP I think she was warey and did expect it to go wrong again but fortunately she got past the dreaded 12 week scan and has gone from strength to strength. She is my inspiration - being only a little bit younger than me (44 now I think). Anyway, looks like we should get some news there in the next few weeks. Sorry to sound like a stalker lia but we all need to concentrate on the ones who get past that dreaded 12 week stage and hopefully your story will help lolfactor.

Hippy is your ds on the mend now? You'll catch a cold walking around in a vest top you know .
Panashe it's a horrible time for you and whenever you want to self indulge do not hesitate to come on here and do so ok. Talking of vivid dreams I had a terrible one this week....one I hope I never have to encounter ever.
Diege how's the marking? Hope you finish as I recall you had your deadline extended.
Jolls and much big virtual hugs for you both ((((((((())))))))))
Gum your harbour cruise hen night sounds like fun.....come on give us details please?
Tina fingers crossed for you.
BB good on you for being so dedicated to shredding. OMG "One of the main signs I get is that I start fancying random men on the train on the way to work" so glad I'm not the only one that experiences that.
Waves hello to lou italian nicole lol TTT lamb and jenbe.
Well worked late on Wednesday and of all things left my mobile at work, remembered to pick up the banana on my desk but not the phone . Saw Dr on Thursday has has sent me to do full blood works re fertility, so will be doing that on cd21 - Tuesday. Attended my Great Aunts funeral yesterday, very very sad especially seeing my Gran break down in tears. Great turn out saw family hadnt seen in years and coffin was open.......never seen a deceased person before....

What fantastic news about lia, I'm sure it gives us all hope.

aah I might brave that thread and go and have a peak! Her pg seems to have gone so quickly (for me not her I suspect).

curly good news that your doctor is treating you seriously. Hopefully the tests will be ok.

I used one of the smiley face tests for the first time this month. And a bit of a surprise too! I did the cbfm this morning and fine, no peak. Then this evening (because I forgot this afternoon) did the smiley face test and there it was! So had to dig out the vest top and start being seductive . anyway, goes to show, the cbfm isn't 100% afterall (but I suppose you are meant to have the LH surge later on aren't you? so now on the 3 times in a row malarkey! Question for those who have done this before - do you tell your dhs? i would probably dtd anyway with dh tomorrow (it being the weekend and all) but Monday may be a shock for him! Maybe I'll just be open.

Anyway, letting him have a lie in tomorrow in anticipation!

panashe totally normal (ime) to feel up and down and spend days crying. it did take me months to stop doing that actually.

Jolls I saw the woman at work who had her baby just after mine was due this week. it was ok actually, baby around 6 months old, very cute and I felt fine. But I know how you feel. i did think today that I have past all of the milestones now - due date, anniversary of mc etc. But it would be good to be pg before friend no 2 (who had a mc at the same time as me, but then got pg again in the summer) has her baby in March.

gum are you close to testing yet? lou tina any signs?
anyway off to bed. Dh and I were going to do our budget tonight (moneysavingexpert) - things were getting a bit desperate, but lucking for the smep we didnt't!

sorry have had a glass or 2 of cava this evening - am slightly incoherent I think!

Arh...Jolls i see

BB i didn t use to tell Ant about "O" but now he asks me when i m ovulating and when we need to have sexy time.... buts that as he s as desperate as i am to be pg now.Funny you asked about signs???? I thought i felt some leg cramps tonight but i think i m imaginging it all now!!!! I normally get leg cramps as a pre-menstral sympton but i m only cd 17 now.....

Yeh on the smiley face....another candiate for sme plan.

Go Lia Go Lia

Curly good news on your blood tests.

Been to the flicks then had a row with Ant!!!! He keep saying that i ll be better when i return to work.I m like NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I can do my job with my eyes shut its not stimulating!!!! I think he means i ll have something to think off or focus on whereas i know nothing will be any better until i m pg with GBOS.But being a man he doesn t understand any of this.He's stonked off to bed!!!!!!

Wow, Lia is going to have her baby. So exciting.

My pregnant friend had a show this week, and we fully expected her to go into labour by now, but nothing so far. She's dreading an induction - had one last time which just spriraled into a horrible series of events! Poor thing. It is funny - I was absolutely fine when I saw her on Wednesday, but on Friday I felt incredibly sad and had an awful day. I had to make excuses and didn't go on the hen's night. I did try to snap out of it, but I didn't have the energy or strength to go.I heard they had a great time though.

I think things are so much worse when I'm tired. My DH was away Weds - Friday, and my DS had had a rough night on Thursday.

But then yesterday, Saturday, I was still feeling so sad that I've had the miscarriage. It's just shit to think I would be 17 weeks now, nearly half-way through.

Like Lou said, what else is there to do but to keep trying? Like her I feel I don't want to be defeated. I wonder if I'll ever feel peaceful about it if I don't get pregnant again. It feels like I absolutely must be pregnant before my due date to help soften the blow, but honestly - why should it happen? Unfortunately we can't will it to happen, otherwise we would all be happily cuddling our take home babies.

Penashe, sorry to hear you are feeling low too.

Beattie, I'm only 6 dpo, so no testing for about 4 more days. I got a bfp with Charlie at 9 dpo and a bfp with the last pregnancy at 10 dpo. So I'll probably test at 10 dpo.

I'm not feeling very hopeful.I have very few symptoms. I'm sure I had more symptoms by this time in the last 2 pregnancies. I have hardly had a sore bit of boob. So it remains to be seen.

I just don't feel like I have the energy to keep up all the SWI month after month.It's really the emotional energy I'm struggling with.

Hippy Bouillabaisse is fish soup, who is ordering it? Because it sounds lovely. I had to get myself a can (sorry, an Americanism TIN TIN TIN) of Lobster Bisque from the shop this week, as it cost only £1.50 I am expecting there is about a thimble full of lobster in it!

TTT and Gum hugs.

Diege How you doing?

Jolls Hi, thinking of you.

BB and panashe I am so sorry you are feeling so low. It is all completely understandable and normal.

I do agree with Lou what else is there to do. Just carry on. I have almost tried the SME programme but in reality I?ve just kind of needed up doing what I normally do, sex every two days from end of period. Don?t get worried, Hubby and I did have sex during my 6 months without a period but I am sure I have been keener since my period returned! I am now 46, which I think firmly places me as the oldest bird on here!

Feeling positive as I hear the list is moving well and we may get our donor egg soon. Really hope it does work this time and if not we will take stock. We will not have any more treatment after this final one; it really is the end for us. If it does not work we may look at adoption but we will cross that road when, and if, we get to it. For the first time in ages I do feel very calm and in control.

My weight loss is happening very slowly but it is working, I think, and I am also getting and feeling fitter due to being part of the Rosemary Conley classes locally. Although the programme about low fat foods put me off low fat foods!

Love to all ? where?s my full-fat paella!