Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Anyone else sick of hearing...

42 replies

jumpingjackhash · 17/01/2011 17:10

'Don't stress about it and it will happen' or 'Just relax... you'll get there' or any variation thereof?

Been TTC for over a year, seems like everyone else I know is pregnant and the (few) well-meaning friends who know we're having issues keep trying to reassure me, but it's just driving me mad!

It's not reassurance I need, it's a sodding miracle (fertility issues)!

[impatient grrr emoticon]

OP posts:
KnackeredCow · 17/01/2011 18:04

Me Me Me Me Me!

OnEdge · 17/01/2011 18:06

Yes, I remember that one. If you just relax it will happen naturally BOLLOCKS !!

xstitch · 17/01/2011 18:13

I think they mean well. Are you getting support from your GP? When you are trying for a baby it feels as though everyonw else is pregnant, been there.

ToriaPumpkinHead · 17/01/2011 18:24

I hate that. My manager said it to me today. I have said to her that I hate it when people tell me to relax but she must have said it to me ten times in the last month. I even told her when I was upset as my mum told me to relax and be patient. The more platitudes I hear the more I want to remove peoples' tongues... As for my GP, he was about six, and when I said the words "sperm count" I swear he burst into fecking giggles. Not helped by the sheer volume of pregnant people in my life who keep saying things like "Well, we weren't really trying..." BALLS.

(Can we tell I have raging PMT?)

PinkCustard · 17/01/2011 18:24

God yes - my sis keeps saying things like 'I got pregnant (2nd time) the month we stopped thinking about it'. Bear in mind she got preg 1st month of trying with number 1, and 2nd month with number 2 so I don't feel she can truly appreciate how it feels after 13months of TTC!!!

How are you supposed to 'relax' about it - sorry I can't just switch my brain off about it now and magically forget I want to get pregnant!

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 17/01/2011 18:27

So glad it's not just me! I know they mean well, but when the person saying it to you is glowingly pg, it's all I can do not to lose it!

Toria lol about your GP (IYKWIM) Grin

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 17/01/2011 18:31

I hate it. after being told by one consultant to go on holiday I lost my rag a bit. we'd been ttc for 3 years by that point, and I said "its been 3 years, we have been on 5 holidays and had so much sex I can hardly stand. no baby, and no longer relaxed"

seriously, its such utter bollocks. people get pg as a result of rape, during war, in DV circumstances, while moving house, starting a new job, straight after a loved one dies. I wish sometimes that people would just fuck off with their well meaning platitudes and say "thats shit, Im sorry"

fwiw, Ive been ttc for over five years now. I'd love anyone to tell me how to remain unstressed after all we've been through.

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 17/01/2011 18:39

lissielou sorry it's not happened for you.

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 17/01/2011 18:42

thank you, ditto. its just horribly frustrating.

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 17/01/2011 18:49

Yeah, I know. I would tell you to relax, but... Wink

OP posts:
OracleInaCoracle · 17/01/2011 19:07

rofl

TanteAC · 17/01/2011 19:09

yes, the holiday one.
F

Ilovekittyelise · 17/01/2011 19:31

and normally, shortly after being told how it will happen when 'the time is right', yet another pregnancy will be announced.

serendipity16 · 17/01/2011 19:36

I heard that kinda thing when i was ttc my last baby.
Theres over 4 years between my youngest 2 children.

During that time i had 4 early miscarriages & an ectopic pregnancy. I mentioned to my consultant once that during the time i had been ttc & all the losses that my sister had, had 3 babies.

He said 'whats the rush' ........ errr hello i had been ttc for over 3 years (at the time) & had 4 miscarriages. Felt like saying 'three years mate.... three years, i wasn't being impatient after 1 month'.

Some people just haven't got a clue.

InTheSunshine · 17/01/2011 19:37

It's hideous isn't it. Utter shit. I've had my rant today on another thread but wanted to agree!! Pumpkin my manager told me not to talk about TTC at work at all. Meh!

ravenlocks · 17/01/2011 19:42

?At least you know you can egt pregnant? (after a miscarriage).

Usually with a head tilt.

Yeah, great, thanks for that!

Well meaning, yes, but somehow I really hated that one.

xstitch · 17/01/2011 19:54

Me too raven, someone told me just to cross my legs the next time. He was lucky I am not a violent person.

OracleInaCoracle · 17/01/2011 20:26

xstitch, I would not have been so restrained!

batteryhen · 17/01/2011 20:57

I have to agree - my DP lives abroad so we really have to time our visits around when I think I might be ovulating.

So for people to say ' relax - don't obsess about it and will happen' makes me want to kill them, and also shout 'well it won't happen if we are in differnet countries will it you stupid arse' :( - which does nothing for my sress levels!

Bexamundo · 17/01/2011 21:15

Raven that is twisted!
Oh yes I know exactly about the "just relax". Or alternatively my colleague tells me to "cross my legs" cos it wouldn't be convenient for me to have a baby atm. [she has NO idea about the hell we've had for last 13 months TTC]. The next person to tell me how or when I should have a baby may get full force of my frustration!!!Angry

Got2Dance · 18/01/2011 09:29

Oh gosh, this is so frustrating when well meaning people do this.

DH and I have been trying only 13 months and are under the FC. When I told my dad (after dropping heavy hints about where his grandchild was), I explained that we're trying not to stress about it and we're trying not to get overly concerned.

So what does he say?

"You do know that you and DH have to work at it as well, don't you? It doesn't just happen."

Shock

Err...oh, that's where we were going wrong then!!

ToriaPumpkinHead · 18/01/2011 09:35

My manager brings it up herself! I dare not even mention I'm ill anymore as she gets that knowing look in her eyes, looks at my stomach and waits for me to say something. Except when she's bored, then she just comes out with "Not pregnant are you?" Massive mistake telling her in the first place clearly, but again, she asked me outright after a particularly bad bout of gastritis which raised many eyebrows as the symptoms were nausea and heartburn, exhaustion and irritability, and it happened to be during a 2WW, and as we work with harmful chemicals I would have to tell her as soon as I got a BFP anyway.

My other manager has invited me to cut her hair as she has been under FOUR hairdressers who have announced pregnancies in the last year.

Original poster
jumpingjackhash · 18/01/2011 10:04

Got2dance I know what you mean with hopeful GPs, my mum is hinting and not-so-hinting by becoming increasingly blatant. She doesn't know we're ttc as that would really up the pressure on us!

If I'm feeling even slightly tired or under the weather, another friend immediately announces 'you're pregnant!', I tell her I'm not, she argues back that I probably am, just don't know it... I'll point out I know my body and I'm not (telling her I'm on day 14 or whatever) - she'll carry on arguing! Argh!

OP posts:
Got2Dance · 18/01/2011 10:16

Well meaning friends...trying to be excited for us...and can't seem to imagine that we'd actually know our bodies so that when we say "no" we know that to be true!!

Jennyrosity · 18/01/2011 11:24

We've been TTC for over a year now. Came back from a holiday over Christmas (yes, one of those sorts of holidays - it didn't work) to find out that my best friend, who isn't even sure she wants kids, is 6 weeks pregnant. Managed to be supportive friend right up to the point when when she says "Isn't it funny, there's you tracking your ovaries every movement 'cos you're so desperate to get pregnant, while I don't even want a family and only have to so much as leave my coat next to DP's and I get knocked up." Oh yes, that's bloody hilarious.

To make matters worse, I work in HR for an organisation with a huge number of pregnant women, so spend half my day working out maternity leave plans for women who've apparently tripped and found themselves pregnant.

Swipe left for the next trending thread