TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

yank hi

oooo, might be pregnant! Exciting! Keep us posted on your wait.
ahem, what's with the squirrel? But they are so cute!

I am quite confused - I had one day of ovulating signs: ewcm(nearly), huge leap in libido (checking out builders...oh dear), hot body temp...
SWI that day and then BANG, no more ovulating feelings.
Could it have been a non starter? What happened? Usually I would expect at least three days of these feelings...

has anyone had this before?

marthamay sounds like your body was gearing up for ov, but maybe didn't... this happens to me alot (always has!). Are you taking your temperature? Thats the only way you could confirm ovulation for sure. It might be worth doing so you can work out what's happening.

martha, squirrels are evil, they tried to eat my house when I was pregnant. Woke me up every morning scrabbling about in the walls, chewed holes in the eaves. We had to get trees cut down (to stop them getting to the roof), and at one point I was running through the garden, 6 months pregnant in my dressing down, shooting a super-soaker full of chilli water and shouting like Rambo. That was the first time I made the Talk Roundup!

POAS today even though I know I'm about a week too early. Negative of course. That's the problem with those cheap ebay ones, you want to do it all the time!

More cramping today, something weird is definitely going on. I really think it is just gearing up to have a period soon though.

Yank, i have similar cramping, and have had it for a few days now. Otherwise have no symptoms... I am planning to POAS after payday ( 28th) 13 days to go.. but I reckon I will give in and do it before.

Good news is that DD has drunk some milk from a bottle at the childminder and has got into a bit more of a routine of waking so at least i kinda know what I am going to get at night- nice now I am back at work. She is still waking at least twice though...

Now I am actually thinking of kicking DH out of bed one weekend to try her with the bottle in the night; although- this may mean I am only feeding 3 times a day and my milk supply will suffer- so I might not be in the target band for this topic anymore...We'll see on the 28th, I dont want to stop feeding really- but she did bite me so hard on thursday that it bled. ( sorry tmi) I was crying cos of that but mainly as I think it means I am less likely to get to the year that I had wanted to...

Anyway; sorry about the long winded post.

gauntlet I would think you could get away with feeding 3 times a day and your supply would stick around? I know some people even get down to once a day and still have milk, I've been down as low as twice a day and been fine (plus 5 days with nothing while in hospital!).

The biting is truly awful, is she teething? DS was always at his worst when teething, I've been bitten hard enough to draw blood before, it really does make you wonder why you are doing it. Kellymom has some information on teaching breastfeeding manners, and I have found removing DS as soon as he bites and holding him off for about 45sec-1minute seems to get the message through.

Still having weird cramping off and on, but no period yet

yank, thanks.. I will have a look at Kellymom. Bitten again today. Arg.
she has been teething since 21 weeks, we already have 6( !!!) at 32 weeks, and she still wont leave her mouth alone...Im a dentist. dunno whether I should be proud or depressed at the dental advancement.

Thanks for the encouragement re feeding. I am still giving her 5pm, 7 and 1030 with once or twice in the night and a morning. She doesnt usually have more than 5 mins on one side tho- so who knows??

No AF, but backache when doing the shred ( dont ask) lastime I had that was the Great North Run 2009- 6 weeks pregnant ( didn't know at the time) OH bum... Im totally getting overexcited and it probably is nothing....

Well, looks like I'm out this month. More cramping today, negative test (I know, still too early!) and now browish-pink bleeding so am expecting full force of AF to hit tonight.

Poo.

Here's another question for those who've gotten AF back, did you have regular cycle length straight away or was it messed up for a while after? Don't even know why I'm asking, they weren't regular before so no reason they should start now!

gauntlet, they do become more efficient at feeding the older they get, so can take just a few minutes to get what previously would have taken 20! Sounds like you're doing very well. I felt like quitting loads of times but days like today when DS has fallen over and bonked his head more than once, I'm so glad to have 'boobie' still in my arsenal of comforting tactics.

Gauntlet I definitely think your supply will be okay if you're only feeding three or so times a day. We still feed morning, nap and bedtime and it seems fine.
Speaking of 'boobie' I wished I'd thought of a subtle euphemism for bfing months ago as this week DS has mastered calling it 'booo' and it'll only be a matter of time before he finds that last 'b'. I'm guessing it'll be in a busy supermarket :o

I'm on Cd1, Yank, and this cycle has been 56 days

I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate before the previous AF (first pp) but hope I might have done this time. I was away without thermometer, but had two high temps once home, then a lower temp followed by start of spotting on third day home. What do the more experienced charters think? Has anyone had higher (or lower) temps after being away from home?

Gauntlet I have been feeding twice a day for seven months with no real problems. I sometimes think dd isn't getting anything on one side, then I will have a feed where I remember to listen for her increased swallowing and realise she is. There have also been times when someone else has put her to bed and she has only had one feed in 24 hrs, which also doesn't seem to matter.

Poppet, DS just this last week has started to say 'boobies!' very clearly, no mistaking what he's saying. Talked to my mom on skype tonight, she was slightly horrified.

I always thought I'd be really embarrassed by that, but I think it's actually quite charming when DS says it.

silkenladder, the temp difference at other house shouldn't affect temps once you get home. Are you doing it at exactly the same time every morning? I found even being out by 15 minutes changed mine when I was charting temps (plus I was a bit all over the place with the PCOS). High temps followed by a low one and spotting sounds good for a possible pregnancy, when did you think you ovulated? I think it is well known there can be a dip for implantation and then temp goes up again.

hi all

DD is another one with saying 'beebies!' and 'mummy's beebies!' but 'mut' (milk) is really her way of asking which is not too embarrassing!

YankNCock I found the cycles came back very regular after the second period. My first cycle (after first period) was only 23 days and I am unsure I ovulated (it would have been very early ov for me). After that my cycles have been 4-5 weeks, when before DD they were never less than 35 days - so there is hope of more regularity!

I found biting is a phase. If they bite, they aren't hungry, so take them off. I can't remember the last time DD bit me now, so as they get older I think it reduces.

good luck everyone for this month! I'm on CD8 so ready to go - don't usually ov until at least CD14 but watching for it starting now!

Evening ladies. Still stalking you all

My DD calls it beebie too - I did use to correct her but quickly realised that I might not want her to say it too distinctly! I think she does know that it's really boobie because she sometimes reverts to boobie if she asks for beebie and I refuse, like the problem might be that I've misunderstood, not that we're in a crowded supermarket or whatever She did chant "boobie boobie boobie" through quite a lot of my brother's (small) wedding ceremony though

Yank I think my first two (maybe?) cycles after AF came back were very irregular and very long - 50-60 days after being a nice neat 28 days pre-DD. After that they did settle down quite fast but were still long, usually around 39 days for a while so I don't know whether I was actually OVing then or not. Then I think they gradually reduced to around 30-32 days via 34-35 for a bit, though I still OVed a few days late (CD17 as opposed to CD14-15 pre-DD) on the cycle I conceived. Think that's probably more information than you needed really, hope some of it is useful!

Loving the wedding heckler Dita :o

I went for milkies but that is currently pronounced meh with a distinct nod of the head. He has also taken to helping himself on occasion which can be quite embarrassing again this only seems to happen when he thinks I dont understand!

I find the biting thing just passes I just took them off every time they did it and they soon got the message.
Still nothing of any kind here except I have been really full a few times recently and started leaking again which I am taking to mean he has dropped a feed so hoping that will help kickstart things
Had a lovely snuggle of my friends newborn this morning reminding myself just how gorgeous they are at that stage.
Also caught up with one born every minute last night and found myself jealous

i'm recording one born every minute until I / if I get pg again.... as i got green with envy at the advert! it is all backed up on my virginplus box so hopefully I will watch it soon x

Yank I'm definitely not pregnant, unless it was an immaculate conception I'd be happy if I could assume that I had started oving again as that would be a big step in the right directiion. I try to take my temp between 5.30 and 6 every morning since dd usually wakes by then for a feed. FF is content with that, but it does mean I'm not always taking it straight after waking. The two high temps before my period were noticeably higher than any I had recorded so far, 36.65 at exactly 5.30 and 36.75 the next day at 6.25 (dd slept in), both taken after long period of sleep. Will see what happens this cycle.

Dita your post was very helpful and reassuring in its detail. I'm a bit worried about possibly conceiving with depo left in my system, but most of the obvious withdrawal symptoms I was having in autumn have gone now. It would be nice to think that my long cycle is just part of a natural return to fertility while bfing.

I am just feeling rubbish today. I am getting myself all in a stew... please help me ladies....

The question for me today is why am I not stopping breastfeeding now that she is taking some manufactured substitue from a cows boobieF*rmula from the bottle. Surely that would give me a bigger chance of getting pregnant, and probably a bit more sleep and less nibbled nips

I am momentarily losing my motivation.

Have you read The Politics of Breastfeeding?

I can sympathise, having had similar thoughts recently. DD is so irritating at the moment, bracing herself against me with her hands, so avoiding sore nipples is really difficult. I keep telling myself it would be harder to put her to bed without feeding and I would like to still be bfing when she starts nursery in the summer for the immune system boost (if that's not just a myth). It would make ttc-ing easier though to stop.

Hope you feel better soon.

one born... I LOVE that programme. Loved the cute 22 yr olds, wow she looked amazing preg!! Here's hoping for another pregnancy and a labour like that (had an emergency c/s first time)

Politics of Breastfeeding, a really good book, eye opening. I would say that is responsible for the fact I am still feeding at 22 months - I never saw myself feeding a toddler ever. That book completely changed my perspective.

I do think that breastfeeding gives me and DD a lovely bond. I'm not saying mums and non BF babies don't bond, I'm just saying it gives us a special time together, a lovely cuddle. Especially when feeds are limited and not taking over it is really nice. The immune system boost is also a great benefit, plus all those other little things that aren't in a bottle of formula.

Having said that from when DD was young I knew a 2 yr gap was too close for me so I never felt that pressure to reduce feeds. If you want to get pg and its stressing you out, it is not the end of the world to stop feeding. However as many of my friends will tell you, formula does not necessarily mean more sleep in fact I think sometimes BFing can give you moresleep, as it is the gift of settling!!

Not read The Politics of Breastfeeding but keep meaning to. I'm another that never saw myself feeding a toddler! I give partial credit to DitaVonCheese, even though we met just the once. She was feeding her gorgeous DD who was I think 12 months at the time, and that was the first time I'd seen anyone feed a baby older than about 4 months. I reckon the seed was planted then, it sort of normalised it for me.

It can be frustrating even now, but man is it ever handy to still be BFing when they start getting mobile. I can't even count the number of times DS has fallen over, started crying, and I've quieted him with just a quick feed. He's got a big lump on his head from hitting the door yesterday, but all was made better by boobie!

When dd was a few weeks old I even said that I thought feeding a baby who could walk and talk was weird. That was before reading The Politics of Breastfeeding and without considering what it meant to stop bfing when the child still needs milk.

I'm still surprised at the attitude of many people towards it though. Even friends who have reached 12 months seem keen to stop. One is even a bf peer supporter and claims her son self-weaned at 14 months As for my mum, who bf me to 10 months and dsis longer, I no longer mention it and don't know if she thinks I've stopped or not, since she was making comments like "you don't think she still needs it, do you" when dd was 12 months.

Yank did your af start properly or are you still in with a chance this month?

Silkenladder I was the same. I went to a BF support group and saw a lady feeding a 2+ yr old - it shocked me a little bit and I thought it was unnecessary. Nell McAndrew is the only celeb I know who breastfed to 2+ yrs although maybe Helena Bonham Carter comes to mind as well... any I digress, my mum and I had a conversation when DD was little about how 2 yrs was too old and my mum said 'oh she's doing it for herself'. Well anyway I'm at 22 months now which my mum definitely finds weird, last time I saw her she directly asked when I am going to wean, and my answer is 'I don't know!!' I'm the only person I know in RL feeding at this age now, my friends stopped by 15-18 months. They are supportive but I think they think I'm a bit strange!

Nutritionally, a 2 yr old doesn't 'need' it in the sense they would survive without it, but I don't think you can say it isn't beneficial. BF isn't just about nutrition, but unfortunately by many this is seen as a negative, that BF offspring are too dependent. Not my view at all!

Oh I'm definitely out this month, AF is well and truly here. It's odd, it seems lighter in colour than before (but not lighter in volume IYSWIM).

Noticed I was repeating myself below . I have serious toddler brain.

I also said at one point that if a baby was talking/walking they were too old. DS may be running away from me shouting but he is still a baby, you only have to look at him to know that. I'm the last holdout of any of my friends and I know a few think I'm a bit odd!

YNC my periods are different to how they were before, definitely a lighter colour, mine are heavier too. I had had that a pregnancy resets your body so any kind of new pattern can be established. This could be me talking rubbish tho!