TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

kate I hope everything is well - looking forward to hearing good news from you soon!

I'm working my edd from O (thanks, charting!) which is 14th September (I've only just realised that I have unintentionally concieved when many try for in order to have the eldest in the class at school!), but obviously Dr is gonna ask for lmp which would put me five days ahead of that. So, I'm thinking, shall I just magically add five days to my lmp in order to get the figures straight, as it were? I don't really want my first scan marred by talk of being a bit behind for dates even though I KNOW the reason will be my late O. I took a test the day after my very faint one at 10dpo and it was sinificantly darker - no doubt about it. Plan to test again tomorrow. Just because.

Feeling kinda crappy today, which I think is down to a bug rather than the pregnancy as I have pain my in my stomach (I mean right under my ribs) so naturally now that it's feeling slightly better I've just taken delivery of a thai take-away - the baby made me do it!

Manda - I have the same issue, I think I ovulated 4 days after my LMP would suggest. I think I'm going to just go with the flow, I don't remember them taking much notice last time of LMP once they had scan measurements, they just went with those, even though that time I was sure my LMP date was correct.

Gauntlet - both with DS and this pregnancy, I was just very cagey with DH about where I was in my cycle, I am normally the one to initiate sex so it didn't seem odd that that continued and he was none the wiser as to when we were SWIing and when we were just doing it for fun :o It certainly worked for us, he didn't feel under pressure at all, as far as he was concerned we were just carrying on with our normal sex life yet I knew exactly where we were and what was going on :) I basically only told him both times when I was going to do the tests.

Got my scan booked for tomorrow morning at 9.30am, please cross your fingers for me, I will be back to update with hopefully good news! Am petrified.

Oh kate lots of good luck, you should have been seen by now so I hope you have the best news for us.

Another test this morning was super-dark, almost darker than the control. So feeling fairly confident things are progressing nicely and slightly worried about multiples

multiples are a higher risk when bf non?
good thinking lifeofkate... shame I haven't had a 'cycle' yet but agree the lack of pressure could help...

Hi all

Manda congrats - My personal experience colours my opinion but I reckon you should change the LMP date to coincide with your ov date by charting. When I was pg first time round I knew my dates were a week out but thought they'd be corrected at the scan. At the scan the baby measured 6 days under my LMP but as it wasn't a week different they refused to change the date. This really frustrated me and come me going overdue to 41 weeks (by LMP - not ov date) I had to fight against induction which was not what I needed at this time! It does depend on the hospital and if the change the date from the scan I guess.

Also congrats to LifeofKate!

I'm now around 11-13dpo (probably more likely 11dpo). Must admit to testing with a cheapy internet strip and got a BFN... to be expected since I reckon we missed ov by a few days... still at least I know I've ov'd and my luteal phase seems long enough. Just want to get AF now so we can get trying again!

Oh and sorry to hear that marthamay, onwards and upwards though

thegauntlet I don't know about SWI like a project... to be honest that is probably what I am like, as DH says DD was conceived with 'military precision' so I am not the best person to advise!...

I'm back with good news, my scan was fine, what a relief :) My EDD has been gratifyingly changed to only a day away from when I thought I ovulated (don't you just love being right ) and baby is healthy, I am so happy.

Hope everyone is lucky this cycle and there are lots of lovely babies heading our way :) This thread is good luck, I reckon, we have had a lot of graduates :o

Oh thank goodness, kate I'm so pleased for you (and relieved - call it pregnancy brain but I was expecting to hear from you yesterday and when you didn't turn up, I was fearing bad news... until I re-read your post )

I just came back from my 'I'm pregnant' visit to my doctors. It's so funny - these days they just take your word for it; I didnt have to pee in a cup or anything!

I still have an awful upset stomach which I also mentioned to her. Apparently it's doing the rounds in my area and I can expect to be better in a week(!). I said I'd had some left sided pain which I assume is the corpus luteum but she said it could be my upset stomach as the intestines end on the left hand side [learn something new everyday emotion] and if i'm still experiencing it in a couple of weeks to come back so they can arrange a scan to make sure all is well.

So I stuck with lmp - I actually will want to be induced at term (lightening quick labour/s coupled with gbs+ meant ds2 ended up on iv antibiotics at 24hours old. They wouldn't induce me, though, even when I warned them I'd never make it to the hospital in time for the antibiotics to go into me during labour). What did surprise me was that she said my first midwife appointment will be at 15 weeks! Really?! It's always been earlier than that before.

are there any of us that aren't pregnant yet
just wondering if you ever get 'the guilt' thinking about having another babe whilst still bf. A girl I saw today said she just couldn't understand why I was sad that I haven't had AF yet- and she thought it was a bit strange to worry about how often I am feeding in the night and the knock on effect on ovulation... ( i think she thinks I am being selfish and compromising DD1's bf relationship.)

Even if she doesn't think that; that is what I have projected- and what I have been feeling guilty about all day...

Sorry Gauntlet, I only popped on here to check on how everyone was doing and so you didn't all think I'd forgotten about you and we seem to have taken over a bit

Interesting you say that about the guilt thing... for a couple of months I was seriously considering giving up breastfeeding as I was so sure that AF was never going to arrive while DS was still feeding and just the thought made me feel sooo guilty that I was compromising DS's health and relationship with me for the sake of a potential new child. Thankfully I didn't have to give up, but I'd say those feelings of guilt are very normal. At the moment I'm having a serious think about whether I can carry on and tandem feed, since I can only actually feed on one side (nipple abnormality on other side) and would it possibly compromise the bfing of the new baby to let DS carry on. And if I do decide I need to persuade DS to wean, I need to do it fairly soon because I don't really want him to remember feeding and wonder why the new baby is allowed to and he isn't... argh, so difficult! I have to say though, the feeling I've got from the outside world is that we are either mad or amazing to still be bfing, so I always get the feeling that if I actually voiced my guilty feelings to anyone else, they'd just give me a weird look and say 'oh, well of course you should give up, you've done soooo well to get to this age anyway' And of course it is already difficult to justify to people who bottlefed why I still feel it's important for DS to have breastmilk :(

Thanks for empathysing ( cant spell that!) lifeofkate- and I didn't mean that in a bad way at all- It is GREAT and v.ENCOURAGING that there are so many wonderful graduations!

Happy New Year All!

Just checking in although no progress to report here. Great to see the good news though Manda Pookamoo and LifeOfKate.

Made me think that we should perhaps update our list to have a graduates section at the bottom? It does make the attempt to conceive whilst breastfeeding seem not quite not so crazy when you can see that other people have done just that

Gauntlet I know what you mean about the guilt. I feel very conflicted at the moment between wanting to actively cut down the number of times DS feeds to try and kit start things fertility-wise and not wanting to push him to grow up too fast or to wish away this stage which in the grand scheme of things is quite short. No easy answers but at the moment I am following LifeOfKate's wait and see approach. Fingers crossed I won't have to be too patient!

Ok here is a first attempt at an updated list:

TTC

Thegauntlet: 25 BF DD 7months TTC#2 No AF yet
Poppet: 32 BF DS 16 months, TTC#2, no AF
Mamafoof: 30 DD 13 months TTC#2 first AF
Queenfee: 29 Bf ds 17 months TTC #4 no af yet
Silkenladder: 32 BF DD 19 months TTC#2 first cycle but no ovulation yet
LittleBoPeeps: 30 BF DS 15 months TTC no. 2 No AF yet
marthamay: 29 BF DS 8months TTC#2 3rd cycle after AF return.
jaggythistle BF DS 15 months TTC#2
IslandIsla: 31 BF DD 21 months TTC #2 AF since July

Graduates

Life of Kate - sorry don't know your stats!
Pookamoo: 31 BF DD 24 months TTC#2 AF since February
Manda - sorry don't know yours either!

Not sure what info is most useful about the graduates - for me perhaps the age of the child when AF returned and due date?

Perhaps we could do something like this:
Graduate Age BF DD/DS Age of child AF return Xmonth, Due no. X on Xdate ?

no more progress here. I totally get the guilt thing. i think that is what is stopping me wean. I keep talking about it then change my mind as I think ds still needs the emotional side. Interestingly I have given up putting ds back in his bed once I have gone to bed and co sleep from there and he actually seems to be feeding less!?
Manda I believe the stats are that you are 9 times more likely to conceive twins whilst bf. Would certainly prove challenging here I would have 5 under 8 lol
I have always secretly fancied twins though so would be quite happy, if somewhat scared!
I love hearing from the graduates on this thread it's very encouraging when you have been on it as long as I have.

Yes, that's a good idea, LBP, those stats seem fine to me. Here are mine:

LifeOfKate: 28 BF DS 13 months, AF return 09/10, EDD 15/08/11

I also wondered if maybe we should set up a thread in Pregnancy as it is clear some of the graduates still have some unresolved issues I don't think it's very appropriate to talk about things like possible tandem feeding here, but could really do with some likeminded folk to chat about that with as the August antenatal thread is quite large and sometimes you can't get a word in edgeways Manda, Pookamoo, what do you think? I may just go and sit in there on my own and hope for some friends :o

I'm glad the scan went well LifeofKate thats great news.

I never knew multiples were more likely with breastfeeding! Anyone know why?

I don't know why but wondered if perhaps you were more likely to release 2 eggs 1st cycle!

I wondered that too Queenfee? Enthusiasm after a long time of being out of action, slightly wonky hormones?

Ugh well I had a major backwards step with the night weaning last night. After 12+ days of hard work by DH I somehow woke up at 4am to find DS tucked up in our bed with a blissful fast asleep smile and feeding away. And I have no recollection of him waking up and me walking to his room and picking him up and putting him in with us?!? None I must do half of this in my sleep. Urgh I had a vague notion of me going into his room and going 'morning' after he'd stirred and picking him up but I must have done it at about 2am not the 6am I'm supposed to do it. What an idiot! I haven't told DH because he was so knackered and so pleased DS had slept through, and now he's off to NY for four nights and it'll be me and recently un-nightweaned toddler. Argh. I'm going to have to put the light on as soon as I hear him cry so I know I'm awake enough to actually stick to what I'm supposed to be doing. Argh argh argh. At risk of repeating myself. Argh.

Curse my threadkilling prowess....

no threadkilling.. I was on the phone to my sister- planned to check in earlier...

right ( rant warning) I am SERIOUSLY P*SSED OFF!!!
My sister is also eBF my neice who is 2 weeks younger than my lovely DD. She had an awful pregnancy and birth ending in emergency c section. She has had an amazing time with DD and she has slep thru 8-8 since 8 weeks ( true- verified...)

My sister has also had her AF since October, and just rang me to say that SHE THINKS IS PREGNANT! and she is totally gutted; and how awful it will be and how she feels terrible already and hates the idea.She also hinted that it was such an 'accident' as it had only 'happened once' since she had DD coz of all the problems with forceps etc ( soz, tmi)

I AM SO UPSET AND JEALOUS AND WHY???????

Feeling very emotional, and would maybe love a little e-huggle.

But on an another note- only fed at 10, 2 and 5 last night ( yes, seriously that is the best night for a month or more)

And DD refused all food and liquid at the childminder today ( only her first week- second full day) so I am anticipating a bad nightt tonight....

sorry about the rant

I'll send you an e-hug!

I can understand your anger, which i guess is not so much at the fact your sis may be pregnant but her reaction to the possibility? Does she know you're trying for another. If so, maybe she would have been a bit more sensitive in telling you her worries? I understand the jealousy too as given its something you want so much it just seems so unfair when it happens (possibly) to someone who is less appreciative of their luck.

A colleague of mine has just announced she is pregnant with twins and though I am incredibly broody I can't help but feel happy for her though that is probably because it is a IVF pregnancy and so very much wanted (and indeed deserved after all the waiting/treatment/heartbreaking MCs etc).

On a final note of sympathy I am re: anyone with a baby that sleeps well. DS has never yet gone through...

In fact he is now waking so must rush but hugs again

Oh gauntlet I'm so sorry :( Had a similarish issue with my DB and DSIL, who discovered they were 3 months pg without realising it while we were ttc (they weren't ttc, didn't even have AF). I was/am utterly delighted for them (especially as I've since learned what a bitch of a time they had ttc their DD1) but couldn't help be a bit gutted that they'd conceived so effortlessly, gone without the trauma of the first trimester and achieved the exact age gap that I'd wanted between DCs 1 and 2 (I still get a bit panicky about what seems to me like a very big gap :(). I think if they'd been upset about it (they were over the moon :)) then that might have tipped me over the edge!

Just wanted to add my graduate stats too:

Graduate Age BF DD/DS Age of child AF return Xmonth, Due no. X on Xdate ?

DitaVonCheese: 34, BF DD now 2 and a bit; AF returned when DD 14 months; conceived #2 when DD 26 months ; ttc 16 months total; due DC2 July 2011

If that's a bit long then feel free to trim it down! FWIW my AF came back when I went back to work part-time, so suddenly had two days a week with no feeds, and we finally succeeded a couple of months (I think) after night weaning. Also had at least one, poss two chemical pregnancies in the 16 mos we were ttc.