TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

hmmm...excuses for not drinking....antibiotics, medication in general (which if you are non-specific can make most people shut up in case its something serious), you are driving home, got to be up early the next day, drunk too much in last week and giving your liver a rest, a bet with your DH that you can't go out for a night and remain sober, you are on a detox as want to get in shape for .....(fill in the gap - someones wedding, a tropical beach holiday, cos none of your wardrobe fits)

:)

ps jaggy i saw you mention on a thread that you had an EMCS. What are you thinking of doing this time round? ELCS or try VBAC? only asking as i had EMCS cat 1 and even though not pg yet, it plays on my mind as to what to do next time...

Defo want to try for VBAC. Was a bit disappointed and confused after last time, so would quite like to have one come out the right exit

I have seen this book recommended a lot to help with confidence/preparation, so downloaded it to my Kindle in a fit of overexcitement the other day.

Had first midwife appt. yesterday, she said I will get a consultant appointment at about 34 wks to discuss it. Also they do sweeps from 38 wks (if you want them) to try and encourage labour to start, as you can't be induced after a CS.

I totally understand the pondering though, I do have occasional thoughts of a nice, calm. planned CS on a known date. It just doesn't feel like what I really want, so I'd like to have a go.

Re the drinking - from the way my boss has made a few odd comments this week, I reckon she might have guessed already. She'll probably be spying to see if I am drinking on Saturday She is very nice and will be happy for me (until she remembers she has to recruit maternity cover) but I wanted to wait till after scan again!

yes, know what you mean re confusion, i was under GA so neither me nor DP were there at the birth (well obviously i was there in body but have no memory of DS being born which is something i struggled with for a while) but i'm worried about when we have another DC as they were worried about DS surviving, heart rate kept dipping then didn't pick up, v low apgar score and he needed help, took about 10 minutes to stabilise him re breathing etc according to our hospital report, so i'm worried about the same thing happening again, plus he has a scar on his face from repeatedly pushing in vain and so in two minds about it, also concerned about scar rupturing, but on the other hand, the recovery from CS was horrid, never felt so helpless in my life as being stuck on that bed for 5 days unable to pick up my own baby when he cried, and it seems wrong to me to be able to choose what day will be your childs birthday, think fate should decide, so all in all i don't know what i would do, but suppose till AF's start again and i can get a BFP, i can try and brush it to the back of my mind for a bit longer! Didn't know we couldn't be induced though, mind you, DS was 8 days early and a decent weight so doubt i'll have one go overdue - they were planning to induce me at 40 weeks if i made it that far!

aw, looopy I struggled with not knowing what had really happened, can't imagine how you feel having had a GA. :(

I did go into labour myself 7 days late, DS was actually born 9 days late. i was on the drip as they had wanted to try and speed things up. I'd also been recommended to have an epidural before it which I'm glad i had as it made the cs v quick. DS's heartbeat had worried them a wee bit at some point, but it had settled down. i think they just thought I'd be too tired to push even if i did ever get fully dilated!

i was told he was in a funny position and maybe had a hand up at his face so wasn't pushing against the cervix causing me to dilate properly iyswim.

apparently the risk of scar rupture is very small and the risk of needing a second cs is only slightly higher than if you've not had one before.

it's hard to think this far ahead even after a BFP tbh! April/may seems a long time away right now.

Oh, so many pregnant ladies now . I'm on CD15 now, so the SWI will have to commence fairly soon, though no signs of approaching ovulation yet really. I do hope my cycles aren't going to be irregular .

Good luck with your birth plans Jaggy and Loopy. I'm sorry you had not so good experiences first time. I had a horrid first birth, but blissful second and thirds. My friend with 4 had a nightmare #1 and then gorgeous #2-4. She swears by Hypnobirthing (and homebirth) and another friend found a Doula really helpful. If you're thinking of the latter then you might need to look now, as she says the best ones get booked up almost 9 months ahead apparently .

oooh, grumpygils, is hypnobirthing any better/ very different to the bog-standard hypno-yourself-to-a-happy-birth type CD's?? I did use a cd like that with DD, and it helped enormously, but I wonder if I should move on to the 'proper' one, as I didn't have a good time with DD.... I'm already pondering whether to take the ELCS option offered. I do not want another whopping tear. I'm already frightened about giving birth- and that was before my BFP!!! Deep down, i think recovery wise etc etc a normal birth is going to be the best option. Sigh.

I'm not sure Dreamfeeder, but my friend seems to think it's the bees knees. I think having an instructor probably makes quite a difference and she did loads of practice with her dh. They paid to have 1-2-1 classes, which must have been pricey!

Little update on me: it's CD26 here and I think I've ovulated because I have soooooooo sore nipples . I had some EWCM from last Mon (CD18) until Mon/Tues this week (so CD24/25), but the nipple soreness started over the weekend (CD23?), so I'm v confused when ov might have actually occurred. I was sort of checking my cervix and I would have said it still felt soft high and open even yesterday . We did the SWI on CD18 and CD24, which was obviously a bit lax . I suspect this won't be my month, but will be interested to see which CD AF turns up, as obviously have no idea how long my cycle will be because this is the first one since first AF after DD. I'm hoping my luteal phase has pulled itself together , although as I can't pinpoint ov, goodness knows how I would know! I feel like such an amateur .

How's everyone else?

cd28 now and I think I'm going nuts. I have still v achy boobs, although nipples now less excruciating. I'm exhausted, seem to have too much saliva and am a bit off food generally, which is rare for me! I suspect it's psychosomatic or PMT, but I guess time will tell.

or you could be pregnant grumpy!! Don't give up yet... I always used to be a 28 day cycle girl. My first after DD was 34 days. My next, I got a BFP. I read on Kellymom or Fertility friend (Futility fiend) or one of those websites that a lot of women aren't fertile their first cycle, especially if the baby is under one. Can't remember how old your LO is? But if you're not up the duff this time, I'm sure you will be next cycle.

I'm puking a lot and generally very miserable about it all, struggling with DD, was sick 5 times on way home from playground with DD today, mortifying (we live in a village). Still, just eaten 2 bits of toast, most i've had all day, and it's still down so feeling a bit better.

oh- and theres no way DH would practice anything with me, or pay. so i guess no hypnobirthing for me...

Sorry to hear you're feeling so ugh . I hope it passes soon.

In the past my cycle has been 29-31 days with ovulation on about day 18. My youngest is 22 months and I've only had the one AF since she was born, although I think I ovulated 4-5 days before that arrived. This time I'm guessing ovulation was cd23-25, so I've got a while to wait (or maybe not if it's a 4-5 day luteal phase again!). I've spent so much of the last few years either pregnant of in lactational amenorrhoea I feel I don't really know this aspect of my body so well now. Aside from 3 post-birth bleeds & 2 miscarriages, I've had only 9 periods since March 2004 . Thus far it's never taken me more than 3 cycles to conceive (lucky I know ), but we're a bit less, er diligent than we used to be .

I think I'm just writing this as notes for myself so I don't forget . Cd31 today and no sign of AF. I did a test yesterday and it was BFN, even though I know it's too early to test. I needed a wee in the night last night for the first time in months, and also had vivid dreams. I have quite a bit of white CM now too (sorry tmi!), which is unusal for me at this stage of my cycle. Finally this morning and at points on Thurs I've felt a bit nauseous/dizzy too. However, nipples/boobs now seem fine, so maybe I'm just imagining things! I guess based on my estimate of ovulation AF is due CD33-39, which would be Wed 21st-Tues 27th. Never was very patient me .

FX grumpy! :)

AF arrived overnight, so CD1 here again . Worst thing is I reckon this makes my luteal phase about 8 days or less, which is still too short to sustain a pregnancy. owever, looking on the bright side, it seems a bit longer than last month, so maybe things are on the up .

Hi all

I realise I am terribly late to join you all, but do you mind if I hop on?

DD is now 11 months and I am still bf... I have been back at work full-time for a couple of weeks (lucky me - DH is being a stay at home dad for a year!), so DD doesn't feed during the day but still feeds A LOT at night: at bedtime, at about 10pm, then twice more before a bf at about 7.30 before I go to work. At least, everyone tells me that's a lot (HV says she should have been sleeping through from about 6 months!!!). I am fairly relaxed about it - I never really expected her to sleep through until she is about 2 or so... my Mum ebf all four of us and apparently we wanted feeds through the night until 18 months/2 years, when she stopped bf. Sigh....

But anyway... I want to TTC from Jan, so am really hoping my periods get sorted before then... I had 3 AFs with normal, 28 day cycles from about 7 months, but then the last AF took about 7 weeks in coming! Very unusual for me as I had always been a 28 day clockwork girl before having DD.... I wonder if it had to do with DD going from a couple of feeds at day and one or 2 at night before I went back to work to no day feeds but LOTS at night.... night feeds seem to have more of an impact in terms of supply and, therefore, I guess AF....

Should be ovulating about now I think, but no sign... (I can normally tell), so that's a bit worrying....

I anticipate still bf when I am actively TTC in Jan, so its good to hear how other people get on! Really not looking forward to the first 3 months and the extreme tiredness while still waking with DD....

With DD, I got preg the first month of trying, but am very aware it may not be anything like that this time.... Actually, pretty nervous about it all.....

Hello & welcome . I'm not sure I have many useful suggestions, but good luck!

Hi I'm also new to the thread, (been lurking a while) but wanted to post a response to Legally blond.

I am stil bf dd (21 months) and we have largely cut out night feeds but on months when they creep back in (teething/ illness etc) it sends my Ovulation date out of whack, sometimes by a week. I've only realised this through temping and charting on fertility friend.

Have you had a look at Kellymom? There's info on there about feeding frequecy and ttc.

My sister recently said that her AF's didn't return until circa 6 months after she stopped breastfeeding completely. No idea if i will be the same. DS now has 3 feeds per day, no night feeds, and he will be 11 months in a couple of weeks. Starting to feel like i might have to make a choice between continuing to feed him and not having a DC2 for a while, or stop feeding him so that might just sneak in a 2012 second DC. I was thinking about maybe stopping feeding him at 12 months and switching him onto cows milk rather than formula. But we enjoy BF and i know it's good for him, so kind of feel guilty for thinking about stopping. HV said yesterday that he should have dropped his afternoon feed by now, confused me as i thought they had 3 feeds per day until at least 12 months? Really torn. Will be 36 next year, so v worried about that, as i really would like 4 DC's but i know the risks increase from here on.

wondering if i manage to get him to drop to 2 feeds a day whether that would mean i might start to ovulate again? or is there anything i could take to encourage things to kick start again?

Thanks blacktea. Ovulation is def haywire since I went back to work (and as a result of dropping daytime feeds totally, DD went nighttime feed crazy...). Cycle day 20 now and possibly ovulating, but not sure (so unlikely!). So annoying.

Like you Looopy, DD is 11 months and I am reluctant to put my foot down and drasticallt stop/decrease bfs. And I have had periods while still bf.... Also can't understand my HV. I have had the same advice, but I know from all the pamphlets etc that if DD were formula fed, she would still be having some formula... so surely my milk must still be needed in its place?

Anyway, considering acupuncture if still no better in a couple of months... I'd rather do that than stop bf. I am a loon, I know!

Those of you have got pg while bf, how much were you bf at the time? At the moment, what with teething etc, DD is probably feeding 5-6 times a day, all between 7pm and 8am!!!

Hi legallyblonde and blacktea

I got pregnant when DD was 10 months, I was feeding first thing in the morning and before bed. I had to suddenly stop a day feed to get AF back (loooopy, i reckon drop a day feed suddenly, DD did pretty much choose this herself but i still felt guilty for 'withholding' her milk. Totally did the trick AF wise and DD was younger than your DS. Was what I read on kellymom). I replaced with yoghurt, cheese etc, tried cows milk, cows milk smoothies etc but DD not really into milk yet. Still!!! She's healthy and active as anything...

I didn't have to cut any night feeds as she was sleeping through, but i think if I hadn't changed something I wouldn't have got AF back so soon- I got pg after 2 AF, so one full cycle. I feel so lucky, though I'm only 10 weeks now so totally paranoid until I see a live baby on that 12 weeks scan (12 days to wait!). Though now she has a cold and I would have automatically BF to calm her in the night, bt she is responding far better than I thought she would to cuddles alone!!!!! (still keeping me up for hours with it though.... so tired).

Hi everyone, thought I'd join you

We were supposed to be waiting til Dec to TTC for various reasons but got carried away last week so guess we've already started !

DS1 13mo no AF yet. I love bf so am really reluctant to start cutting down on it to force AF to return and am clinging to the idea that it will all just happen (somehow)

Looopy and blacktea, I'm shocked at your HV's advice. As far as I know, there is no evidence to say when or how often you should be bf at this age at all. I think they make it up, imho. Has anyone else noticed that HVs who are really pro-bf in the early months suddenly start encouraging you to cut down bf once you get past 7 or 8 months? Not sure why other than just the general cultural bias towards not bf a toddler....

Also, has anyone managed to get pregnant without AF? They always warn you in hospital don't they ...

It wasn't me ThubersDogs I didn't discuss breastfeeding with my hv after they told me to night wean and do cc at 8 months old. I was knackered as dd was feeding every 2 hours, she's just a boob monster. I did try to night wean then, that was the first of four attemps.

Anyway, we have been ttc for 7 months now, I think I have luteal phase defect due to breastfeeding and I am getting strong messages from DH that he blames the nursing. I'm torn between removing dds comfort and having another child. What if I give up and it doesn't work? I will feel really guilty then. On nursery days she only has 4 feeds a day but on other days it could be anything up to 8. I am having some sucess at milk in a beaker and distraction with the dummy (not that I want to encourage dummy addiction).

Sorry for the rant.

To whoever it was who asked about feeding patterns whilst bf

I have conceived 3 times whilst still bf an older child (one ended in m/c). The first 2 times I was feeding on demand overnight 1-2 times and on demand every 2-3 hours during the day 4 days a week BUT no breastfeeding for 11hrs 3 days a week when I was working. I had been pumping once a day on work days and I ovulated when my baby was 11+ months right after I gave up the last work day pumping session. I conceived when my older child was 14-15 months (third cycle of AF), and then again at 18 months after the first pregnancy miscarried.

The last time I conceived was when my youngest at the time was 18 months, I'd had 2 AFs (though we only had unprotected sex that month). I was feeding her on demand round the clock at least 8 times per 24hrs and my eldest was still feeding once most days aged 3yrs 9 months. I have no idea what triggered the return of fertility .

Now my youngest is 22 months, feeding 8-12 times per 24hrs round the clock, I've only had 2 AFs and have a luteal phase that is too short (4-7 days). My middle child weaned about 2 months ago. What triggered AF to return this time was 4 consecutive days where I was separated from my toddler during the day for about 8hrs each day. I've left her for the occasional 12hr day before, but never several in a row like that. I guessed it might happen after the way fertility returned aftera sudden change in pattern (pumping in that case) after my first baby. This might be something for those hoping to trigger the return of AF to consider perhaps?

Thurbersdog - it was me, not blacktea! MY HV sounds like yours... very very pro bf in the early months, now thinks I should be giving no more than 1 or 2 in 24 hours (and also thinks I should have nightweaned DD, now 11 months, at 6 months....)

Grumpy - that is really helpful, thanks. I don't DD for a full 12 hours every week day (I work fulltime while DH is a stay at home dad), so I am hoping against hope that is enough (I would in an ideal world like to keep bf until DD is about 18months... no idea why, just because that's what my Mum did for me!!!). I am greatly encouraged by the fact that, although my cycles have been all over the place, I am getting AFs (had about 4 now)... so fertility must be on its way back at least.

Excuse TMI in advance, but...... I have NO IDEA what AF is doing right now. I thought I was finally ovulating a week late (CD 20), but instead of the usual clear, eggwhite stuff, (ahem, actually a bit embarrased now), it was mucus-y but dark, as if mixed with old blood... thought it was maybe AF a week early, but no... it only lasted 2/3 days. Very odd. I guess a late ovulation with muckier than usual EWCM. Nice

Still, if AF turns up in 2 weeks, I guess all is fine, its just a 5 week rather than 4 week cycle at the mo. I can work with that!!!

ps - Grumpy I am also very encouraged by the frequency of your DC's breastfeeding generally! DD adores my boob and I am sure that if I weren't at work, she would feed 12 times a day (she crams about 6 in during the 13 hours I am at home overnight!).... I generally don't let on how much I feed to anyone in RL as they are always rather shocked and think I should "do something" about it...

Oh, apart from my mother who is the most pro-bf person I know (she bf her youngest, my littlest brother) until he was 3 because she knew he would be her last (he was a "surprise" when she was 40)!!!! She stayed at home with us and said we fed all the time until we were finally weaned.... poor thing, she didn't get a full night's sleep for about a decade!