TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Well, still no AF (day 30 now - have NEVER had a cycle longer than 29 days), so was beginning to get my hopes up a little bit. BFing has been quite uncomfortable, my super-spidey sense of taste appeared to be back, I felt a little nauseated yesterday morning.

So I did a test (FR) last night and it was BFN.

Still no AF this morning, did another test with FMU in case last night's was too dilute - very definite BFN. and [grumpy]

Feeling all a bit down about things and rather (however irrational I know a lot of my thoughts are) resenting breastfeeding. I've managed for a year now, perhaps it is time to stop?

hoping you can all help me....i am going to have to go back to work around the time DS turns 12 months, but it will only mean a couple of 5 hour days at nursery each week as mostly i work from home, combined with a few client visits now and then, and a monthly meeting miles away which is compulsory.

My question is, by 12 months, will DS still be feeding 3 times a day? He currently has milk about 9am before his nap, 1.45pm before afternoon nap and 7pm before bedtime. Or is there any likelihood he might drop the afternoon milk? If he drops it, then i could probably keep feeding him as could feed him in the mornings and evenings and the only time i'd need to express is once a month for the morning of the monthly meeting as i'd have to leave before he'd have had that feed.

Linked to this, how do you stop a baby needing to be fed to sleep? DS would never transfer into his cot in the day, but i can now get him to sleep in there, but only through feeding him to sleep. If i don't do this, the only way he will sleep is on me!!

loopy, you might want to repost your question as a new thread in the Breast and Bottle feeding section so that more people have a look at it. We are a rather niche group here! There are folk like Tiktok who are really helpful.

For us, my DS is 12 months and has been feeding twice a day (with a bit of gentle encouragement for me but no outright refusal if he really wants milk) for about a month now, morning and evening.

Before then though, he would happily miss a feed if I wasn't around and his dad was looking after him.

The No Cry Sleep Solution has some suggestions about how to stop feeding to sleep.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding

I think only feeding morning and bedtime sounds very reasonable for a 12 month old looopy. My DD stopped feeding to sleep naturally- i totally panicked with how to get her to sleep the first time she didn't fall asleep feeding at bed time but she lay in her cot and went to sleep! Blooming miracle. The No Cry Sleep solution had some good pointers. Not that I managed to use them successfully, but don't know if i was determined enough. a lot of it was about rousing slightly before you put them down so they get used to settling themselves a bit. To be fair, I did start doing that- making sure i winded her and she'd opened her eyes before i left the room, but i didn't make a big deal of it and if i was too tired no chance i was risking it!!!!

Bartlet, what a shame, i wish our bodies would NOT play tricks on us. Before DD i was a regular-as-clockwork 28 day cycle person. my one cycle since DD was 34 days, and I'm so worried i've stuffed it by increasing feeding in this cycle again... and also hoping that maybe i'm already pg- day 32 here, so if had same length cycle again i'm not even late... worried like mackrelmint i could just be on for a super-long cycle with no BFP
I am thinking of stopping at 12 months if i don't get pg.... maybe... but really should get DD drinking some, ANY other milk before then. Now its bf or nothing...

df - thanks for your support and sorry to hear you've been finding the bf uncomfortable too! it's horrible isn't it? Has got better for me in the last couple of days actually - I'm putting it down to doing two feeds instead of 3 - it felt like I just didn't have enough milk for 3, although that could be complete nonsense I guess...

duke good luck for this month - noone can say you didn't try hard enough! may check out these CBFMs - we are not quite as impressive on the swi front so probably would help to target it a bit better...

Bartlet - sorry about the BFN. So hard when you are late and with possible symptoms as well - impossible not to get your hopes up. I KNOW I'm not pg this month, but until AF shows up can't stop the 'but maybe...'s popping into my mind.

It should be like doing your driving test - you dtd, then 5 mins later you get a 'congrats!' or 'commiserations' sign somehow...

looopy - DD is now doing 3 full days at nursery, and feeds 1st thing on waking, and last thing before bedtime on those days. Prior to that she was having 3 or sometimes even 4 feeds (she is 12.5months). I think it's quite likely that by 12mo your ds will be able to miss 1 feed without really noticing

and good luck jaggy!

So, as for me, now on CD41! ridiculous. I wasn't expecting to get pg straightaway, but was really hoping it would happen before xmas - at this rate, I'll only get 1 or 2 more chances before then. perhaps I need to take up some kind of hobby to distract me - could be a challenge to make a whole quilt before I conceive; read War and Peace; learn French, that kind of thing. something to concentrate on in the 2ww?!

spent so long writng that post (whilst watching Great British Bake-Off) that managed to x-post with you df! so, still a chance for this month! will cross everything for you too...

mackrelmint, i don't know if there really is a chance or its just my imagination/optimism... it's the 'oooh...maybe....what if i am?...' thats driving me crazy. DH really doesn't think it's happening this time which I think is true, but I can't help being desperate to know. Tempted to POAS tmw even though AF isn't due til Thurs on a 34 day cycle. I just think bf stuffs my cycles. But if i stop bf, and i don't go back to nice, regular 28 day cycles I know i'll regret it. I can get DD to drink a small amount of cows milk if I add Nesquik. Yes, nesquik. Now, does that counterbalance ALL the benefit of the dairy or just part of it?!?! we WILL both be up the duff by Christmas, we will!!

I keep doing the writing for too long, x-posts thing! annoying.

Good luck duke, i reckon all those DTD's will count for your CBFM peak now. I've been looking on ebay at CBFM

Hello can I join?

I'd not spotted this thread when I posted earlier.

I'm not sure we're officially ttc, as I've not go AF back yet, but am suspicious I've just ovulated at last. 20 months is a long time with no eggs !

Just off to read more than the last page of the thread now.

hello grumpy, from what i know when its been over 12 months you're MUCH more likely to ov before AF so quite possibly!!!! Good luck MUST go and give DD some breakfast now....

thanks all, hopefully by the time he is 12 months DS will be ok on 2 feeds a day, as find expressing a PITA and think expressing would mess my body up even more, as if i'm not at home then it just wouldn't be possible - its a 2 hour trip to get to my office, so milk wouldn't be any good by the time i got home, and if i am on the road seeing clients i could be in the car all day! (so would mean having to express at a different time in the day or night which i guess would just delay ov/AF even more?)

loooopy, I'm a SAHM but can report that when other friends who BF go back to work, they've said to me that their baby doesn't miss the daytime feeds during the day, even though they still want them when the mum is around. Hope it all works out for you.

Welcome, grumpy.

dreamfeeder, I tried Nesquik to get my DS to drink cow's milk. I had planned to get him drinking and then to gradually reduce the concentration until he was drinking plain milk. Well, it didn't work. Instead I have been gradually adding milk to water for all his drinks over the last fortnight. This morning, he was drinking 50% whole milk, 50% water! Result!

mackrel, I like the idea of immediate feedback on whether you are pregnant or not! If AF is going to come, I'd rather it just did so we can get on with things again. (Still DTD regularly on the wild off chance I've ov'd at an odd time.)

This morning, no AF so another test - BFN. A few hours later though, a very excited DH came downstairs pointing out the faintest of faint lines. I've tried to explain evaporation lines to him, but (against my will) it gives me a little hope. He's taken the remaining PT to work so I can't be tempted to do another one before tomorrow morning!

(Just realised that I am posting on Mumsnet, so now fully expect to be told that, by doing that, DH is controlling and to leave him! )

bartlet DH sounds lovely!! Do they really get a positive evaporation line? I've never had that. I shall keep my fingers crossed for you, just in case. I made my DH get me a pg test the other day, so I have one and only one... I'm day 33 now, no AF. Think I'm going to crack and do a test tomorrow... Even if it's a BFN maybe it'll stop that hope and make AF less of an unpleasant surprise when it comes...

And I agree, if AF is going to come then just blooming well HURRY UP so we can start trying again!

Might try working up to the half milk half water- its not like she drinks much water either though- maybe 100ml a day if i'm lucky, regardless of how hot it is, so I don't know if i'll succeed.

looopy, if what the Kellymom website says is true, if you express you have a higher chance of increased fertility than if you bf so i wouldn't worry too much although my personal (not evidence based at all) opinion is that less is best in terms of fertility and bf!!!!! Having said that i have fed in the night the last 3 nights, BOO!!!!!!!

Well, we have an answer. AF has arrived. Going to be grumpy a little while now and then DH and I will get back on it.

oh, bartlet, what a shame. The hope is a killer... especially when we're all so keen to be pg again. Still, at least AF is here, maybe this month is your month

I just can't stop thinking about age gaps, and wanting to get pg now and not in a month or so and have an august baby who has to go to school when they're tiny....

dreamfeeder i know what you mean despite the fact i've no sign of ov or AF since DS was born last November! I keep thinking about "if by some miracle i get pg before having an AF then DC2 will be born in such and such month and the age gap will be x months... and as much as i love my DS, i want another baby so much, miss being pregnant, miss my bump (although still got a fatty kind of bump lol) and miss having a newborn, but then there is the other more rational part of my brain that thinks even if my body remembers what it is meant to do, it would be better to wait until December so that DC2 would be born in September instead. maybe fate will make it not happen till then anyhow?!

looopy, i agree. PLus i want to be at home with DD so desperate to be able to count down to some more mat leave once i go back to work. I don't miss being pg or my bump in the slightest, and I love DD how she is now, but i so want her to have a sibling she's close in age to... ANd not have a summer baby- i made the mistake of looking at the tables of month of birth and school success and summer babies start at a disadvantage!!! But my DD is 11 months now (shes a september baby!), and I've been ttc since she was 7 months and i'm getting worried....

i'm sort of lucky that i mainly work from home as a financial adviser, have clients all over the uk, so still get paid trail commission whilst "on leave" and it doesn't mean having my bum at a desk 9-5, just plan to keep my hand in so things tick over and give me just enough income to get by, but as soon as i "go back" then i have to start attending training and anything that they deem compulsory, so the sooner the next ML starts the better lol - have loved being at home with DS (although i've still had to do a bit of work as can't abandon the clients completely!)

DP is an only child, and 4 1/2 years between me and my sister then the same again between her and our brother, so close age gaps are important to us too, and also the fact time isn't on my side as i'll be 35 this year!!

Where were those charts? Know lots of teachers who say that, and i went to a grammar school where lots were autumn babies but never knew there was proof of it!

(Ps if anyone wants any advice such as life cover/critical illness/income protection/pensions/savings etc for them or more importantly their DH/DP then i'm fully independent and highly qualified and looking to take on a few new clients over the next few months) ;)

www.education.gov.uk/publications/eOrderingDownload/DFE-RR017.pdf

there you go looopy, its not much, i just think they're so little at 4!

Just had to come on and leave a quick post. I'm so excited- I got a BFP this morning on day 34

Despite all my extra feeding this month-and in the night for the last 4 nights now. MUST make an effort to settle DD without just automatically plugging her into a boob!!!

Hope everyone is well, and you all get your bfp's really soon!!

Just stalked you on here to say yaaaaaaaaaaaaay again :)

What symptoms have you had again? Do your boobs feel funny even though you're feeding?

Mine feel a bit tender but not sure if that's because of the nearly weaning.

congratulations to dreamfeeder!!!

jaggy My boobs feel no different at all, and have gone back to 2-aspirin-on-an-ironing-board size disappoiningly despite bf.... Have had a couple of much more uncomfortable feeds, but could just be a worse than normal bad latch.

Thanks looopy

yet, i mean... they hurt last time but from slightly more pg than this!!!

Ds seems to have forgotten a bit how to latch, I keep having to remind him that teeth are not required to get milk. He's never been bad for biting before!

I think mine hurt by now last time... aaah the waiting and wondering is evil!

2-aspirin-on-an-ironing-board