TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

I'm reading!!

good luck Queen, I am also in the 2WW - I think! I had some positive ovulation tests, but EWCM continued so not really sure. So I'm trying the same approach as you with the crossing!

silken that does sound like it could be ovulation spotting. It apparently can mean you are very fertile (I'm also a TCOYF follower). Get that thermometer out!!

Myself, I'm now down to 1 feed. I'm slightly sad at this, but at the same time, DD is over 2 years now and I'm starting to feel its the right time for the both of us to stop. We'll see. For the moment I still belong on this thread!

Hello... Room for another newbie? I've been reading this thread for AGES and finally decided to delurk.

So, DD is 10months old, we'd both love to crack on with no2 but no sign of AF yet and as DD is still feeding normally 4x in day and 2 or 3 at night I reckon it'll be a while

I know she's still pretty little, and I'm 29 so there should be no real hurry but just would really love 2 quite close together, and also to be back on maternity leave sooner rather than later!

We've not really got back into regular sex since arrival of DD so it's all chat and no action atm. Should really work on that - don't think there's much chance of catching an ov before 1st AF but you never know and wld be better to get back into it before I start getting obsessed about the key days to do it.

Just feel v much in limbo now. On the one hand impatient for AF to start up again, but also kind of dreading all that anxious waiting and trying not to get hopes up again.

Anyway, been gibbering on long enough I should think. Been finding this thread really helpful so nice to finally join in!

hi and good luck mackerel, hope there's not too much waiting for you. :)

isla how are you getting on with just one feed a day? we were kind of down to two on average, but the last couple of weeks have been a bit mad.

the teething, trip to a&e and antibiotics for skin infection all at once have been a bit much for him i think. he's been looking for a lot more comfort. he also lost the power of thumb sucking for a few days while his lip healed, think that might be where the feeding to sleep came back.

once the teeth are through, we'll maybe try to get back to where we were with a cup of milk and a story at bed time instead. as soon as i put him in the sleeping bag today he was after 'molk'.

welcome Mackrel Good luck! I definitely think getting back into regular sex before TTC is a good idea - I wish we had but I didn't feel like sex until my periods returned - I think that it was the hormones for me. AF back at around 15 mos for me - basically it was a month or so after night feeds finished. I was still feeding 4-5 times in the day.

hey jaggy! In February, when DD was 23 mos we were on 4 feeds. I dropped one in February, then one in April, then another this month. Basically each time my period arrives! I'm not sure if I'll give it up totally next month though. I might wait a while. After going down to 2 feeds my next period was lighter and less painful, and I do wonder if there was a link there (for me) as I think hormone imbalances can cause heavy/painful periods. My last period was like they used to be pre-DD, so I am hoping I am now BF at a level where I can fall pg. Having said that DD may have got to a point where BF is less important to her now. 6 months ago I would not have imagined I could have dropped to 1 feed at this point - I would describe DD as a bit of a milk monster up to 2 yrs! But she has adapted really well. I simply explained that we'd have milk later, and in each case offered a cup of milk and reading stories. She just has a cup of milk at one of the dropped feeds (wake up) now, but we read stories at each dropped feed 'time', it replaces the BF with some quiet, relaxed 'together' time and DD seems fine with that, and I like the cuddles too. I think it helps that I've gone for a very slow & gentle weaning process, she would ask for milk for a few days at that time when I dropped each feed, but after a while she forgets. At bedtime she still has milk and loves it! But I think it would be fairly easy to drop if I want/need to.

Don't rush it - if you just follow DS back to a place where he's better, dropping the feeds back will come more easily, and less stressfully!

re feeding to sleep. At 23-25 months DD went through an awful sleep stage, partly due to illness and I wonder if it was also some separation anxiety. I didn't want to feed her, so to get through it we coslept alot (without BFing!). This stressed me out abit as we were/are TTC but I usually managed to get her to sleep in her cot for the first part of the evening then she'd sleep in our bed. Eventually we got her back sleeping in her cot after a gradual withdrawal where everytime she woke I'd lie on her floor until she fell asleep again, then when we'd crack that I withdrew to sitting at the door, then just popping my head in and telling her it was sleeptime. And now, after 2-3 months we are back to sleeping through!!

... so you have my sympathies. Phases do end - remember that!

sorry for all the babbling - I was in a babbling mood last night!!

I was trying to babble back - was on my phone and got fed up though!

I should know by now that just when you think you've got them sussed it all changes :)

I am secretly enjoying extra bedtime cuddles...

Temp this morning was about as inconclusive as you can get. I think it's unlikely that I ov'd, but I had a disturbed night (we took the side off DD's cot yesterday), which usually gives me a lower temp. On the other hand, it was a warm night, so . There's no chance I could be pg in any case, since we haven't managed to dtd much.

Welcome, mackrel and good luck. Are you seeing any signs of returning fertility, eg. increased cm? Hope you don't have to wait too long for af.

at "molk", jaggy. DD currently pronounces it "muilk". Unfortunately she seems to have realised that it's a non-count noun and has stopped demanding "want a muilk".

well I always find one temp doesn't mean much. Its the pattern you need, so keep on temping!

I love milk cuddles... thats why I'm holding onto our bedtime milk!

I am ready to stop feeding Alfie but he is not. He does make me laugh when he pats my boob and says mummy top melk then when he wants the other side mummy other one or more.
I can't see myself tandem feeding. I get so tired in pregnancy I just can't see it. Especially as I already have 3 to run round after. But there again I didn't see me still feeding a 2 year old and I'm nearly there!

Alfies feeds are anything from 3 to 7 in the day but the key difference for me was def the night feeds he either has 1 or none yay! (only a month ago he was still having 3 or 4 during the night)

Hello makrel and jaggy
I definately didnt feel like dtd till af returned.
Cant help with temps have always just dtd as much as poss and hoped for the best. Its worked 3 times so hoping for the 4th this month.

Thanks for welcomes and well wishes!

jaggy - a&e and antibiotics and teeth all at once sounds a bit of a nightmare! poor you

we've gone in and out of feeding to sleep periods too. at the moment after a long time of being quite good at settling in cot, we got back into feed to sleep on holiday and now some nights she does and some nights she doesn't. sometimes I wonder if I 'should' be trying harder to put her down awake so she gets more used to it, as most of the books will have you believe, but most of the time i think that's bunkum, like a lot of the crap about sleep 'training'. and when she does just drop off it's nice and easy for me!

very glad she at least goes to sleep most of the time now at a reasonable hour though - for a month or so back at 5/6months it was just hours of screaming and feeding until exhausted...

silken - not sure about signs of returning fertility. defo increased cm for a couple of months now I think, but no ewcm. also more headaches, and I used to get killer all day headaches pre-menstrually sometimes, so wondering if that is hormonal.

re night feeds - I'm finding now after ages thinking they were a problem I had to solve that the night feeds are the ones I mind least/like most. She's all sleepy and warm and heavy and normally drops off again after 10mins and I don't feel too sleep-deprived (except when we have 5am start like this morning). day feeds on the other hand I'm starting to find more annoying as she claws at my collarbone/neck and pulls on and off and often seems quite frustrated. Think ideally i'd cut down to just morning, bedtime and night if needed quite soon, although I'm not so fussed as to start ff in day. Back to work in August 4 days a week so if there's no reduction in feeding naturally by then that'll force it!

Alfie started going to sleep without me all by himself. He just stopped falling asleep on me and snuggled down in his bed. Tbh I think it helped that he is in with his brother so copied him :)
I agree about the night feeds when we do have them he just toddles through and I feed him without waking then when I wake in my own sleep cycle and pop him back in bed.
I am working on the daytime thing by offering snacks drinks etc instead and trying to get him to wait 5 or 10 mins by which time he often forgets.
The only one I can't see me dropping anytime soon is the afterlunch go down for a nap feed. It makes my life easier!

Yesterday's temp was lower, so I think I probably haven't ov'd. Didn't manage to take it today.

I have cut out the am feed also using the "distract until they forget" technique, so maybe that will help.

Mackrel re putting them down awake. I did that from about 4 months with dd. Never resulted in her sleeping through. What finally did the trick (at 11.5 months) was not feeding at the first night waking. I guess it's the same for us adults: I read in bed every night (sometimes MN ). I don't always fall asleep reading, but I find it difficult to get to sleep if I don't read at all. That doesn't mean I need to read again if I wake in the night, though.

Fwiw, I'm not sure I felt much better rested once dd was sleeping through, as she started waking at 5-5:30 instead of 7-7:30. It made a difference to dh, though, since he was waking, too, and had to get up at 6 for work.

Ahh I had forgotton how long the 2ww was when you're obsessed waiting patiently!

Qf - oh yeah... I don't suppose it helps to know I appreciate being able to vicariously do a 2ww via you seeing as I'm still in the wait of indeterminable length. Fingers crossed for you!

Silken - interesting re first night feed. Actually haven't heard that before. Theoretically I have more energy to work on resettling without feeding for that one,being awake, but I always feel too lazy to do anything other than feed even at that point (night feeds are usually when I get my mn fix too!)

Yeah its nice to know mackrel! I have many cycleless months waiting with others. I am now resisting the urge to test 7dpo is far too early right!?
Regarding waking I think it makes no diff what you do. I dont feed to sleep when I put him down but do for night wakings and sometimes he sleeps through and sometimes he doesnt. It makes no difference if i'm out and dh settles him either. Sorry thats prob not much help but dd1 I did controlled crying at 13 months and thereafter (because you keep having to do it again) and she probably woke much the same as ds2 now at 2. Ds was a poor sleeper from the minute he was born and only improved when he was older but he had other issues. Interestingly dd was weaned by 14 months so I dont think the bf has amything to do with it either. I would say I think I get more sleep with ds2 as hr is bf and I dont have to hunt for dummies and teddies - I know where my boobs are!
Sorry for the ramble

Sorry about all the typos my phone doesn't let me check :o

Queen 7dpo is too early!!! Mind you my first 2ww I tested 9dpo! I so hear you on the 2ww. I think i'm about 12 dpo today (might be more like 10dpo). I've resisted testing so far. Had so many BFNs over the last few months I really don't want to see another one!

I agree on feed to sleep. It really does not matter if you feed to sleep. We fed to sleep until DD just stopped doing it on her own - I'd feed her and think hang on, you should be asleep by now! So I had to change the way we did things. That was when she was about 9 months. Then when she was about 20 months she started falling asleep at feeds again! That didn't bother me - it was only that this timeshe wouldn't stay asleep if I put her down, so I always woke her and put her down in her cot. We've always followed DD's lead - it makes it so much easier that way!

Good luck for this month Isla!

My natural stinginess helps curb the temptation to test - only did 2 tests in the 6 or 7 months of ttc dd. One bfn which I was still taking out the bin hours later hoping it had magically changed and one bfp when I just wanted to confirm my suspicions.

Killing time in a cafe across the road from nursery where dd is 'settling in' atm. So wish I could be pregnant when I go back to work so I know how long it'll be before I can just be looking after babies again, free from commuting and closed toe shoes! Although of course I know it'll be different with 2, I've so enjoyed last 11 months. Keep swinging between being philosophical and thinking it'll all just happens when it happens and being wildly impatient.

Another cycle bites the dust for me ladies.

How you doing Queen?

Mackrel I know what you mean about swinging between philosophical and impatient! I'm the same. In some ways I wouldn't mind a large age gap of several years - I just wish someone could tell me when it would happen and that it will happen so I didn't waste all my energy on this TTC business. Its exhausting.

Sorry to hear that, Isla. Are you planning to drop the last feed now, then?

I can also totally relate to the swinging between impatience and feeling it will happen when it happens. And to the not testing, mackrel. I mean, if you are pregnant, you still will be a week later, right. And if you're not, then AF is still somehow less disappointing than a BFN.

Hands off the pee sticks, QF!

Ooh just come across this thread! No AF yet for me at 9.5 months but want to TTC ASAP. DD still feeding approx 6 times a day including at least twice at night.

Welcome Bird [wave]