TTC while breastfeeding - Part 2

[silkenladder]

This is the place to come to share the frustrations of ttc while still nursing.

Many of us are sleep-deprived, some of us don't even know if we're ovulating and none of us know whether taking agnus castus is a good idea or not. We all just want to do the best by the children we already have, but would really like to be pregnant again. Quickly.

Part 1 had plenty of graduates . Here's hoping Part 2 will be equally successful and supportive!

Hi all! Yank the spots are a great sign - my skin went utterly appalling just before AF arrived. Come to think of it it still looks appalling... anyway good luck all, I really wish I was in this race right now. Sigh. Waves at real life friend who recognised her from this thread on Mumsnet cringe/proud/cringe Come and join us!!

Ok, I have cried, properly cried at Glee AND Big Fat Gypsy Wedding today. This hormonal stuff is getting stupid!

Poppett, that sounds positive for me, but sorry about the skin!

martha, I agree BFing gets more special later on. It is so funny to see DS running around wreaking havoc like a proper little boy, but when he doesn't feel well, he goes back to being my baby who wants 'bees' for comfort. He calls it 'bees' now, and I'm not sure if he is trying to say 'please' as I've been prompting, or he's abbreviated 'boobies'!

Hi all and a warm welcome to all newcomers!
I am somewhere in the middle of my cycle at the moment. After having baby my cycle goes between 25 and 32 days with lutheal phase ranging from 12 to 16 days . And as opposed to before, now I cannot pinpoint the day I am ovulating. The only symptom that I have is that at the time around the ovulation I feel something going on down there, if you know what I mean . So instead of trying to hit that one day I have ovulation we decided to have a lot of SWI during the days just before it . It can't hurt, too much SWI never killed anyone .

good luck BubaMarra!

Well our new bedtime routine is going really well, but as for cutting down milk... DD has had a bad cold, and now the last couple of days a high fever of 39 and she wants her milky comfort. So cutting down hasn't happened and she's been feeding in the night, but has been quite distressed my poor baby. I'm hoping that she'll get through this before I'm ovulating! CD11 here.

martha I agree, the 'specialness' of BF increases I think as your baby gets older. Its such a personal relationship, its difficult for other people to get that. 3 feeds a day sounds great. I'm sure your that DS is benefitting too - nutritionally and emotionally ... silly old HV!

I'm another who feels bf just gets more and more special as they grow. My daughter is 1 in a couple of weeks and I still love breastfeeding her, definitely more than I did when she was a month or two old. Now she's so active it's just wonderful to have those special, calm feed-times, just the two of us. There's no way I'm stopping just yet.

Recently she's moved to usually only feeding morning and evening, sometimes once in the day and usually once around 5am.

I'm on CD33 today, 6DPO... the point my period arrived the last 3 cycles (gah @ 5 day luteal phase). I'm really hoping my LP is longer this cycle, although the slight crampiness I'm starting to feel in my womby area is making me think that's pretty unlikely... :(

DS is almost back to exclusive BFing , this is surely not right for an 18mo? I have a thread in breast/bottlefeeding if anyone could take a look. Am quite concerned about his refusal of solid food, it's been going on for a while now.

He has ramped up my supply so much that this morning when he was feeding, the other boob started spraying...that hasn't happened for at least 6-8 months. Leaking a bit, yes, but actual spraying, no.

Yank could he be teething, or any illness? DD always ramps up the feeding when unwell.

For what its worth, my skinny little DD will go through phases where she eats very little solid food. She will eat some, but not much. She can have mealtimes where she doesn't eat a single bite. But (unless she's ill) I will keep the milk feeds the same, so I won't offer extra milk to compensate I just assume she isn't hungry. And I've found that if she isn't ill, she'll still sleep through when she doesn't eat her tea, so although I do find it difficult when she doesn't eat (doesn't every mum!!) I try to accept it that she didn't need or want it at that time. For me an approach of nonchalance works best - any attempts at persuasion to eat don't usually help! If he's ill I wouldn't cut feeds, but once he's better, I would look at restricting milk and solid food may be upped in response.

Heres hoping Af doesn't arrive for you inuk !

oh there's definitely some teething going on, which is why I've tried not to be too concerned. But he got an ear infection over the weekend and is on antibiotics now. The weight loss happened prior to this though, he's gradually reduced what he's eaten over the last 3-4 weeks to the point it's almost no solid food. Finally got a few bites of cheesy pasta in him just now though!

Think you're right though, will wait till the antibiotics are done and then go back to plan of restricting!

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Last few weeks have been manic, but at least it's taking my mind off ttc.

Congratulations melody on the bfp and welcome to all the ladies who have joined since I last posted.

I don't have any experience of food refusal here, I'm afraid, Yank. A friend in rl is going through the same thing with her 14 month old though.

My cycle is so confusing right now, I can't really claimto be ttc. It's more like DOC (dreaming of conceiving). My 58 day cycle was followed by a 16 day cycle and I'm now on CD 19, but had spotting on CD15 and heavier bleeding the next day, so possibly CD3 now .

It's the anniversary of my depo injection in March and I'm starting to think about stopping bf. Dd has suddenly stopped waking at 5.30 for a feed and waits now for me to go in at 7.30-8, which means I could just get her up without feeding. The bedtime feed might be harder to drop, but she has no problem when I'm not there and dh or dmil put her to bed.

Any thoughts, ladies? I'm due back at the dr in June, if I stopped bf in the next month, it would give my cycle a chance to settle down and I could ask for the pill if it hadn't (often suggested post-depo to kick-start things). On the other hand, I don't particularly want to give dd cow's milk to drink. She eats plenty of yoghurt and cheese, but I'm not sure if it's enough.

Yank, we had an episode of solid food refusal when my DD was 11 months old. It happened over a couple of days when she gradually decreased amount she ate. And then she stopped eating solids all together. She BFed the same, maybe slightly more than usual. After that she got fever, but the temperature was not that bad around 38. We took her to the doctor and it turned out to be a viral infection that causes lesions in throat, so poor little mite was not able to swallow all that time. Her behaviour was perfectly normal, so no one could tell that she was actually ill until fever kicked in. The infection cleared up on it's own with some paracetamol and she was back to her normal eating. I couldn't believe the amount of food she was capable of eating once those lesions healed She needed to catch up as she lived on milk for 2 weeks. I am sure your DS will get back to normal eating when the infection clears

DD has started waking in the night for feeds again :( Last night she woke at 1am and 3am. First we tried putting her dummy back in a few times, then we tried offering water in a sippy cup. Finally I had to give in and give her the breast :(

This is going to prevent me from ovulating isn't it? :(

It's looking like I'm going to have to give up breastfeeding :(

I would try water in a bottle instead of a sippy, but DD has suffered from nipple confusion in the past whereby she became lazy at the breast when she had bottles regularly.

HELP!

TweedleDee if its any consolation, my DD did not sleep through every night until about 16 months (she slept through some of the time from 12-16 months). I'm not saying that this will happen to you, just that your DD is totally normal! Maybe she's just having a growth spurt.

Since you got your period back so early I don't think it will necessarily prevent you ovulating (stressing about it might though! )

How long have you been trying?

silken sorry for ignorance - whats depo? Your DD is almost 2 yes? Well I wouldn't worry too much about milk/cheese/yoghurt intake. If she has plenty of yoghurt and cheese and a balanced diet, thats probably fine. You don't need to replace BFs with milk at this age I don't think. I've recently dropped one feed and offered a snack instead, but DD isn't particularly interested so I'm wondering if it was habit over hunger! Maybe you could phase out the feeding with morning first then evening. According to kellymom, any abrupt change to feeding can kick start your fertility so just dropping the morning feed to start with might start things up, then you can tackle the evening feed if you want.

Isla depo provera is the evil contraceptive injection. For some reason my ob/gyn recommended it to me as an option while bf and I had one shot when DD was 9 mths, mainly because we hadn't had sex since the birth and I really didn't want to be pregnant again at that point with DD not yet sleeping through. With hindsight it was a terrible decision to have made. DH told me a week later he thought it would be better to aim for a small age gap and I now feel awful about having exposed DD to the stuff through my milk as well.

Depo is apparently infamous for messing up fertility for a long time after discontinuing the jabs, so I still don't know whether my current cycle fluctuations are due to that or the bf. After posting last night I read a thread on breast and bottle feeding about lactational ammenorrhea which weirdly made me feel better. I think to some extent I feel a sort of peer pressure to have a small age gap and it makes me impatient.

Thanks for the reassurance re not giving cow's milk. I wasn't sure what was recommended once the child gets close to 2 years and I'm generally not sure what I should think about dairy consumption in humans.

TweedleDee I agree with Isla that waking in the night is normal at that age. It might only be short-lived while she goes through a growth spurt. AFAIK once your periods return, you start transitioning back to full fertilty and won't necessarily go backwards just because you feed more frequently for a few weeks. It just won't speed things up. I can absolutely empathize with your impatience though .

silken one of my friends stopped feeding at 15 months. Her DS wouldn't drink cow's milk, but loves yoghurt and cheese. The HV told her this was fine. She's now found he loves 'babychinos' so she bought a milk frother and makes him little afternoon babychinos at home!

have you thought about something like agnus castus to see if this could kickstart things?

I totally get you about impatience/peer pressure on age gap. When DD was born I decided a short age gap (< 2yrs) was not for me. But slowly everyone around me is getting pregnant (a friend with a child 3 days younger than DD had her second baby on Sunday) and it makes me want to join in! I do want DD to have a sibling. I have to keep reminding myself that I love being a mum to DD and a second child will happen if and when it does, I just have to see what happens - and be patient!

I always wanted a 2 yr gap between my children. If I fall pregnant now, it would be a November child, so 2.5 yrs age gap. Which still counts as 2 yr gap. I look at it that way . I think only parents think in terms of months when they speak of their children's age - children speak in term of years i.e. I am 1 year older, 3 years younger, etc. They don't bother with such details as exact age in months. That's from my experience - I always wondered why my mum pays such an attention to those details when she speaks about me and my siblings/friends from childhood. Now I know

sorry to post and run without catching up, but I had a really good conversation with RL friend re: late ovulation resulting in pregnancy. I'd thought after a certain point, say CD30+ if you ovulated after that there would be implantation problems and it wasn't as likely to result in a pregnancy. My friend who is pregnant now said both her successful pregnancies were when she'd ovulated very very late, like CD40 and CD70!

This gives me hope I'm not out this cycle. On CD38ish, got some stretchy mucus yesterday and feeling twinges like ovulation on left side today.....so here's fingers crossed!

Buba - I like your reasoning! We'd also love a 2ish year age gap between our first two, and I'll keep telling myself that a 2-3 year age gap still 'classes' as 2 years! :o

melody - so sorry I missed your BFP. Congratulations! I hope everything goes well for you!

I'm feeling quite down in the dumps... period arrived two hours ago. :( Means a 6 day luteal phase, which is a day up on last cycle but still so short. We're onto our 6th cycle of trying now, but I know with a LP that short there's no chance of a successful pregnancy, so the whole concept of 'trying' feels a tad strange as I feel that everything is so out of my control. I just can't imagine it ever happening, although I know that's silly.

I'm taking agnus castus and B6 (in a B complex) and this cycle my almost-1 year old daughter has cut down to feeding usually only morning, night, and a short 'going back to sleep' one around 5am.

I hope I'm not in the minority of people who can't conceive at all whilst bf, as I really want to bf until my daughter self weans. Sorry, feeling a bit sorry for myself... I'm normally such an optimist, and I know I'll feel better soon... damn hormones. Anyway... onwards and upwards!

I have 2 year gap and a 3 year gap currently and I can honestly say that there are advantages and disadvantages both ways. My sisters favorite gap is 2.5. i wanted 18 months or less this time but mother nature had other ideas :( I actually feel at the moment ds will never wean!

Inukshukdreamer are you self-medicating with agnus castus or did you see a herbalist? I have wondered about it but am not sure it is the right thing for my situation. I read that it's good if you have short cycles and heavy periods, but that was just one website and I'm sure I could find others saying the opposite, such is the internet. Does it reduce prolactin?

Nice to know I'm not the only one worrying about age gaps. The last thing I read said that age gaps between 18 and 30 months were the worst for the older child because they experience the feeling of being usurped most at that age. (Everyone who is still in with a chance just ignore that .)

Ladies is anyone using Fertility Friend? Can I see your charts?

Okay, have caught up properly now.

silken, I had two shots of depo when I was in my early 20s and ended up with a 1.5 month long period when it left my system. Maybe the pill would be a good idea just to sort of regulate AF after you're done with depo?

Thanks everyone for concern about DS's food refusal, he seems a lot better now and has regained some weight. He's still a bit fussier than before, but at least he is eating again!

inukshuk, sorry you were feeling so down. Could you ask for a referral to fertility services re: the short luteal phase?

I took agnus castus to help with my PCOS, and I thought it was meant to be helpful if you had long cycles? Could be wrong though.

TweedleDee, I do use Fertility Friend, but haven't been temping yet (only on 1st cycle since DS born). Got my old 3 years worth of charts with 1 pregnancy and 1 pregnancy/miscarriage on there if interested?

I am on CD43 today and started spotting last night. I thought it would have been a full blown AF by this morning, but still just very light spotting on wiping. Am trying very hard not to get my hopes up that it could be implantation bleeding! There was SWI on CD29 and CD37, but wasn't temping or checking CM regularly so am not sure if I ovulated. More likely it is just an anovulatory cycle and I used to spot for a few days ahead of AF with those.

Even if it is just AF, I'm happy for it to get here sooner rather than later so I can try again!

Yank is your current chart all over the place or does it show ovulation?

Yank thanks for sharing your depo experience. Taking the combined pill while bf isn't an option is it (afaik), otherwise I might demand it from the dr.

Tweedle I am on FF, but dropped my thermometer a few weeks ago (cue major panic about poisoning dd/as yet unconceived dc2) and haven't got round to getting a new one.

AF seems to have appeared here yet again. I would be CD27, which would be a reasonable cycle length, except for the spotting on days 15 and 16. Bleed on CD16 was proper bright red flow, but it was all gone next day. Am wondering if it could have been ovulation, does anyone know if that could cause a significant bleed if it was (possibly) first post-partum? No SWI this month, so not pregnant

TweedleDee, my current chart has about 2-3 temps on it, that's all! Doesn't show ovulation, I've barely been tracking anything. But my old charts are much more complete, which isn't too helpful as you're looking to see ones where the person is BFing, right? Do you have VIP access on fertility friend? I can't remember if you need it to search the chart gallery.