and ANOTHER one of my friends is pregnant, bringing the total up to everyone I have ever met in my entire life except for me.

[YulenoYurbubson]

Gahhhh.

I am genuinely pleased for her. For all of them.

But I want to be pregnant toooooooooooooo.

I have un-friended two pregnant FB friends and blocked two pregnant relatives from my FB newsfeed. All these are #2 or #3 pregnancies. My relatives should know better as they both know our situation but there they are on FB, patting each other on the back, constantly having nothing to talk about on their statuses or walls except for pregancy related things. Not a thought spared for me even though I selflessly supported them through money and marital problems [never mentioned my own worries until they were all sorted and happy again as I didn't want to bother them when they had worries of their own]. I have been all but abandoned by them now that all is well for them.

Okay, rant over ... feel a bit better now. Where's the mulled wine?

Sorry about the "all about me" rant. [Lychees passes mulled wine around].

The problem is, people are fundamentally egocentric - they would probably be apologetic if they knew how you felt, but it doesn't occur to them to imagine that someone may not be as excited as them about their pregnancies.

Pregnant people are smug, happy and annoying that way..!

(But we won't be..)

Sweetsheery - I hope I won't be. I'll try very hard not to be but I know I'll be so excited (and scared!) :) :). That's why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I keep repeating to myself that it's not that I wish they weren't pregnant and happy, it's that I wish no one had to go through the heartache that is not having a baby when you desperately want one. Doesn't do me any good though . I still feel like someone's knocked the stuffing out of me whenever I think of pg friends or see mention of their excitement :(

I agree with Sweetsherry, people can be thoughtless about the feelings about others, they are so wrapped up in what is happening to them that even if they know that there are friends who are having trouble they still want you to be excited on their behalf.

There really is nothing that you can do, bar having a little cry when you are on your own, I guess that mostly they havent gotten pregnant deliberatly to upset us, but it is heartbreaking to hear about it, especially when we want a child so much!!!

I hope everyone has a good xmas and plenty of time to SWI!!!

FWIW, I'll probably be intolerable if I dont manage to get pregnant

Thanks to the people who posted nice thoughts for us - still no news here on TTC or anything and still waiting for first AF post MC but I think everything is moving again indoors (won't go into detail as relates to cervical mucus!!!)

I completely understand everyone who feels horrible every time anyone is pg....have just got back from a weekend with my family and they have all been completely lovely yet had NO IDEA at all that I would feel uncomfortable during a conversation about my stepmum's best friend (who, credit to her, has just had her first at 43) and her niece who has also just given birth.

I am very proud of myself for not having a strop - I kept fantasising about sobbing "I can't handle this" and flouncing out, then having everyone apologise for being insensitive and never ever speaking about pregnancy again (til it's my turn...) but then realised that my mum would have a stern word for me if I did that.

So, I waited for a lull in the conversation and went to get a LARGE refill of wine. Don't think anyone realised I was a bit down which has made me feel like a "proper" grown up (I'm over 30 but normally feel like a big kid!) Also avoided mum-lecture!

I am also very keen on the theory that others may also have had trouble ttc, they just haven't said so...that should keep me chirpy for a while. Thank you for that idea!

Good luck everyone for getting through Xmas gatherings with pg friends and family - I'll be thinking of everyone on here when I see my pg friends in the next few days.

Just listening to one friend giving every detail of her 12wk scan has left me in pieces again. DH trying to be positive by buying me new boots but DHL screwed that up (see my thread in chat) so in tears again.

Just hope 2011 is a more positive year all round

I'm so sorry you're in a bad way, fledtoscotland. You did well to even let your friends start on the scan conversation - you did your best and you deserve a good sob. Let's hope 2011 is a lot better for everyone on here.

so i woke up this morning with a mega hangover (the nazi wine police AKA husband was out and i had my friend over). literally the first thing i saw today was a facebook 'number 3's on the way/scan photo combo'...which obviously makes me happy for them that all is well, but sad for myself. i was just getting over the whole sadness shite when i bumped into said preggar in the supermarket. i was at least quite glad not to be traipsing round sainsbury's feeling like shit on a stick.

Same story here, friends getting pregnant all round and I'm the only one of us who all got married around the same time who hasn't had any children yet... it really does make you feel like some cursed person, doesn't it? I keep wondering, why us??

Background is I came off the pill in April '09 and we half-heartedly TTC-ed for a while but no charting or anything. I only started worrying about a year ago as my periods went totally haywire and I started getting 55 day and 43 day cycles, possibly not even ovulating at all, so went to the GP and was finally referred to the fertility clinic in May '10 but then a month later, I got my BFP and was over the moon about that. Then in August, I had an MMC just a few days before my 12 week scan and that was honestly the most horrendous experience I've ever had. It almost put me off TTC ever again

But here I am, back on mumsnet, back cycle-watching, hoping I might be luckier this time...

It is so hard when it seems easy for others. As someone said further up in the thread, though, you do have to tell yourself that you never know what problems people have behind the scenes. I've never told anyone about my MMC, for example, so if I got pregnant tomorrow and it went well, nobody would ever know what we went through last August. That's the way it is with pregnancy, people talk endlessly about the good side and the good news but no-one likes to talk about the dark side - which just fuels the paranoia of us TTC-ers! I'm trying to stay optimistic and look ahead to maybe a diagnosis and some help of some sort in the New Year when I see the fertility clinic again. It's not where I thought I would be a year ago but I've learnt a lot in the meantime. Mumsnet has been so great in finding support and knowing that I'm not the only one so let's drink to that [clinks glasses]

OOOOh Ill join, like minded people on here. If I see another FB announcement with 'Iam Pregnant yoopie' on it or day to day detail on how baby is doing I am going to go insane. Really, some people are so insensitive, who wants to hear that you feel really really sick today, or baby is kicking, etc everytime you log into FB, adds a further kick in the teeth. It was easier without all this FB lark. Why do people have to bloody fall pg with number 3,4,5 when you cannot have number 2 yet! Oh the irrational thoughts that go through our minds. We have a beautiful dd 3.9 years, but would love a brother or sister for her. Tis not happening anytime soon, went to the GP, so will go for blood tests mid cycle.

Not only is everyone I know pregnant, but so is my younger sister who is flaunting her six-month bump at every opportunity. I swear she does it just to get a rise out of me. She wonders why it upsets me. Meh.

Ffs yet another friend has announced shes got a BFP for her 4th child. Am now off to hide behind a large rock with an even larger block of dairy milk :(

Why are the world & his wife so able to fall pregnant except me?

Ps thanks for this thread - I can say everything here that i cant in RL

Hello everyone! Can I join your thread please? I'm in need! There were 3 weddings of friends this summer, including mine, and amongst others both newly marrieds have just announced how happy and excited they are to become parents! I am happy for them (honestly) but if someone else asks me if i'm pregnant and waiting to announce it/going to announce it soon/waiting for a 12 week scan I am going to punch them in the face!

Xmas card from friends "and bump"! Just what I needed to cheer me up. Is a really nice friend who deserves everything good and has been brilliant to me. But yeah, obviously wish it was me. 5 months post miscarriage and still no luck. 2011 will be our year, let's all keep our fingers crossed. It is hard to hear other peoples good news but that doesn't mean we don't wish them well of course. When our turn comes we will want the world and his dog to cheer us on!!

Girls, I love this thread. It makes me feel better that so many other people feel the same as me (although obviously I wish that none of us were in this particular camp....)

kat - from friend and "bump"???? I know I'm supposed to try and share in their excitement, but even if I'd not had the MC, I still don't think I would have been insensitive enough to send something that cringeworthy. Also, on the scan topic, I'd never been interested in other people's scans (and now they just upset the hell out of me) - I really can't believe anyone except for the excited parents and maybe the grandparents are even slightly interested in the scan pictures, so why do people feel the need to share???? Yes it's exciting for them, but it's at best dull and at worst massively upsetting for everyone else so why don't they just keep it to themselves?? I think the monster might have taken over...... sorry about that, good to rant here rather than in RL though!!

I don't see why people are so keen to put an image of their internal organs on facebook anyway. Preggers or not, I would not put my uterus as my profile picture! I do not need to look at someone elses uterus any more than I want to see a picture of their liver or their bowel!

kat you made me laugh with the effing facebook scan photo c&ap - how many 'friends' have done that in the past week?!

im tempted to fake some serious gastrointestinal symptoms in order to get a camera up and take home photo for my profile.

oh and how many time must one endure 'you're time will come' and 'it will happen when the time is right'...

im sorry but it felt right with my first pregnancy until that nuchal fold scan, and well, admittedly last month's early miscarriage never quite felt like it would be a sticker but for goodness sake, do the idiots not realise that the time being right incredibly quickly for some versus months, years and never down the line for others, doesn't always feel like it has a silver lining?!

I have just thought that it takes two to make a baby.
Therefore all these women posting their pregnant uterus as their profile pic should get their man to put his cock as profile pic.
This would put a swift end to the fb scan nightmare.

A quick morning moan:

EVERYTHING I DO at the moment is taken as a sign that I'm pregnant and lept on gleefully by my lovely friends who want nothing but the best for me. I am not pregnant. It is excruciating.

Yuno hasn't had a drink? Must be preggo!

Yuno a bit tired? Preggers!!

Yuno fancies a chocolate biscuit? CRAVINGS!

Not coming on the night out? WHY? Are you Pg??!

No. No I am not.

Yuno - I feel your pain, really I do.

I'm on Clomid so abstained from booze right through Christmas. I could feel the silent eyes burning into me, but I did it anyway.

BFN anyway though so don't know why I ff-ing bothered.

CD1 today.

SIL has just gone into labour.

Oh sherry. I think that might be worse to feel everyone silently wondering. At least I can deny it and move on.

Sorry about the bfn.

Dropping in again after Christmas.

So started to spot on Xmas Eve. At said time friends phoned my DH to tell them they were 10 weeks pregnant. She was still on pill in July and not planning to come off it till September or October. So up duff straight away. Now I do feel bad for feeling jealoous, but then started to cry and DH and I had a row on Xmas Eve as he said I was being unreasonable. Oh FFS! Maybe I should post this on AIBU and get flamed there? We've been trying for 16 sodding months now. "WHY NOT ME?" I screamed. MN should really have a very selfish bitch emoticon. I'd use it with pride.

Kat ROFL at man's cock as profile pic. Might suggest this to hubby if we ever actually manage to get up the duff.

kitty GI tract on Facebook.

sweetsherry Really sorry. What an arse.

Agree with Yuno I knew I wasn't pg as AF stared over Xmas. Got as pissed as a fart the day my parents went home and sobbed hopelessly into wine bottle. The hangover the next day was definitely worth it.

Knackered,

sorry about AF, have you been to the gp? 16 months is more than enough time to be trying without any success.

TTC is like being the only single at a smug married party. There you are waiting for mr right to come round the corner and everyone else is telling you how you just have to stop looking and he'll come along!! Well, thats how I feel anyway, my Mum trys to help by telling me just to relax and it'll happen, I would love to, but I've waited long enough to try and now this delay is killing, where is Baby H? Late, thats where!!!!

And dont get me started on people and their "accidents".....

TwoJeackRussells Yep have been to GP. Don't think it will be very long before I join the assisted conception board.

Have had first investigations done. Day 21 progesterone was fine. LH/FSH was fine. Have had all the swabs done and manual pelvic examination by GP.

DH's sperm count all good.

First appointment with Fertility Clinic on Wednesday Had peritonitis and a pelvic abscess as a child due to perforated appendix. Most likely outcome is tubal infertility, but waiting for HSG / lap & dye to see whether the infection did actually leave adhesions that are causing complications. Maybe, just maybe I've been very unlucky and there's nothing wrong, but somehow I doubt it....

My mum says exactly the same as yours too. It's so irritating. I always want to say I am trying to relax, but it's really hard when people keep telling you to relax.

Yep and accidents.... Couldn't agree more.